Online Dating

Are you creeped out by the idea of posting a dating profile for all to see and then going on dates with total strangers? Is the whole idea just a little too.... technological for you? You're not alone! But on the other hand, maybe you're new to town and don't know anyone. You're not religious, so meeting people through a church or temple is out. You don't dip your pen in company ink, so that cutie in Accounting is off limits. Where are you going to meet other singles if you don't do online dating?

Consider Meetup.com. Their tagline is: Do something • Learn something • Share something • Change something. No matter what type of activities you enjoy, you can bet there's a meetup group somewhere in your area devoted to it.

Do something
Why not join a meetup group of fellow runners and train for a local marathon together? Or maybe a meetup group of Civil War enthusiasts who put on reenactments? What about a meetup of hiking enthusiasts who take on a different mountain every weekend?

Learn something
Always wanted to learn how to knit? Join a knitting circle! (And remember ladies, even if the group lacks single men, it has ladies who KNOW single men!) Want to learn French cooking? Brush up on your German you've neglected since high school?

Share something
Join a local book club to share your experiences reading great literature. Find others who enjoy going to new restaurants and share in some great cuisine together. Join a playgroup for owners of Labrador Retrievers and give your dog a workout while you meet new friends.

Change something
Volunteer to help build or renovate a playground (also check kaboom.org for groups in your area helping local kids play!). Go door to door to encourage voters to support your favorite candidate. Join a group of environmentally-minded singles and adopt a section of highway to clean.

Meetup is a great way to meet new friends with similar interests. Don't by shy about signing up! Most meetups take place in public places, so you can meet your German language meetup at the local coffeeshop and your Labrador Retriever group at the dog park and feel perfectly safe while meeting new friends.

While Meetup does have singles groups, you will find a more relaxed atmosphere, without the pressure of "OMG-THIS-IS-A-DATE!" that we often feel on one-on-one dates. If the group of people mesh with you, you can come to the next meetup, or make plans to see people at other times. If they don't, you don't have to go back. No pressure, no problems.

I found Meetup to be very useful when I moved to take a job in a new city where I knew hardly anyone. I looked up some of my interests, dropped in on a couple meetups, and developed a circle of friends faster than I ever thought was possible. I really recommend meetup.com as an alternative to online dating and a great way to make new friends.

If you would like to meet some new friends, check out our full review of Meetup.com now.

eHarmony launched their Celebration of Love marketing campaign on their Facebook page during the last week of October and it sure has been busy. There are currently 2,156 fans and over 600 success stories (I stopped counting after 20 pages) from Facebook members posted on the wall. Fans of the page have also uploaded 379 photos for these success stories.

Most of these success stories are in response to a weekly contest being run. Facebook members can submit eHarmony success stories about how they met their partner and if they follow the official contest rules they could when a $50, $100 or $200 Amazon E-Mail Gift card.

Entries will be judged based on the criteria set forth in each weekly Contest announcement post. The judge or judging panel will select the entry that best represents the theme or purpose of the weekly post. The judge or judging panel will evaluate all qualifying entries and the subjective opinion of the judge or judging panel will be the deciding factor. Entries must be entrant’s own original work, must not infringe on any third-party rights and must be deemed suitable by Sponsor.

This is a great idea by eHarmony's marketing team. They get lots of great exposure and a lot of new success stories. These success stories also seem more legitimate than your typical quotes of successes on most dating sites since they are linked to the actual Facebook members account that people can contact or become friends with.

For more information on the Facebook page and the contest, visit the eHarmony Facebook Page and for more details about the dating site, read our eHarmony review.

Self Magazine did an informal survey of its female readers about internet dating, casual sex and porn. It doesn't say how many people took the survey but let's take a look at some of the results anyways.

Question: Who is using an online dating site?

• Age 18 to 25 - 29%
• Age 26 to 35 - 52%
• Age 36 to 50 - 51%
• Age 51 and older - 68%

Online dating can definitely be an adventure and profile pictures make it even more fun. You and your potential matches get to see one another in a variety of poses clothing, attire and situations and vet both the physical and emotional side of things before you’ve ever met.

Profile pictures are a double-edged sword, however, and especially for women. While I am confident that you can never reveal too little in your pictures, I’m completely sure you can reveal too much. Most gals on online dating sites are looking for a boyfriend. If they just wanted to hook-up, they’d be trolling the local bars with their girlfriends on a Friday night. If you’re one of those gals looking for a solid and loving partner, I’ll make my case for omitting certain types of pictures from your online dating profile.

The Swimsuit Shot

Unless you’re a competitive swimmer sporting a one-piece suit, ditch the bikini shots. The men in your life need to earn the right to see you in revealing attire. Every time I see a picture of a girl in a bikini on an online dating site, I think: wow – she’s putting that out there for everyone. Why not save a little something for your future sweetie – something that not everyone gets to see? After all, the guys you attract with a bikini shot are going to be looking at you for one thing, and that one thing isn’t (hopefully) going to happen on the first date. Don’t put yourself in a position where you’re wasting your own time by attracting the wrong kind of guy. You’re gorgeous and look great in a bikini, so let your future sweetie relish the fact that he’s the one who gets to share that, not everyone else who stumbled across your online dating profile.

I'm blessed with a wide variety of friends. Straight friends, gay friends, bi friends, transgendered friends, transsexual friends. Not only are they great people, but they give me a glimpse into their worlds, especially when it comes to online dating. In this article, I want to specifically address the concerns of bisexual men in the online dating world.

Some people will argue that there's "no such thing" as bisexual men - that as soon as a man is with another man, he becomes gay and that is that. (Funny how women can be bi and that's perfectly acceptable, if not lauded!) It's a pretty narrow-minded view, but if it's yours, go ahead and click through to another article. There's nothing to see here for you.

As a bisexual man, you're dealing with narrow-minded people, both male and female. There are women who are just as weirded out by the idea of a bisexual man as men are. In fact, I have a friend who hides his bisexuality from his wife. He doesn't act on it, but he dated men before they met and continues to fantasize about men to this day. But he loves his wife and is very much attracted to her too. He keeps his bi tendencies under wraps because he'd rather not risk losing her.

One of the biggest complaints I hear from bisexual men who list their sexuality honestly on their dating profile is that they get plenty of attention from men (both gay and bi) but hardly any emails from women. This may not be a huge problem if you don't mind dating men, but if you're feeling the pull toward the fairer sex, the pickings are slim.

Oftentimes, what works to overcome this issue is posting two dating profiles - one as a gay man and one as a straight man. This works very well on free sites, but obviously will cost you double if you are on a paid site. (I've never tried it before, but I'm thinking you may even need a different credit card to register two paid profiles.)

Since gay men aren't going to be searching for straight men (usually!), your alter ego won't show up in their searches. Since straight women aren't going to be searching for gay men, they won't find your gay side. You're still bisexual, but a little more separated than usual. Is it deceptive? A little. But you are straight AND gay, so it's not entirely a lie.

Any bisexual men have additional tips on how they manage their online dating presence?

The Times Online UK took a look at what they called Quickie Dating Websites recently. When I think of a quickie I assumed they were referring to an adult dating site where people go looking for casual sex. I was only partly right. They were talking about Affair / Infidelity dating sites for married people. On this side of the Atlantic, the most popular dating site for people looking to have an affair is Ashley Madison, where it is even guaranteed. In the Times article they took a look at Forget Dinner (ForgetDinner.co.uk) which is very popular in London. It is not advertised really as an affair dating site but most people on the service seem to be married. Profiles tend to be straight to the point and a lot of the photos contain nudity. There appears to be about 10 men for every 1 woman on the dating site.

Here are some infidelity related figures for the UK. In 2008, there was 115,200 divorces granted and 29 percent of these divorces were the result of adulterous behavior. According to a Grant Thornton UK Survey (2009), 9 percent of women would cheat on their partner as long as there was no way to be found out. In comparison, 24 percent of men said they would cheat. In the same survey 20 percent of men admitted to having an actual affair where only 10 percent of women did.

In the United Kingdom every month 7 million people visit online dating sites. This is a 27 percent increase over last year, whereas the percentage of the UK population that used the internet only grew by 4 percent.

For more on this story, and to get a couple of men's and one woman's experience on Forget Dinner read Times Online.