Online Dating

Seniors are not the typical demographic for most of the online dating services. However, you just don’t want to go sit in front of someone and have them videotape you, either. Dating is a very personal decision, especially when you’re past the point of starting a family and your children are already grown. So how do you get back into the dating game when you’re over 50?

It’s simple: think like you’re thirty-something! When you were in your thirties, that was the time of your life where you probably realized what you really liked. Your hobbies, your passions, places you like to travel. So take all of those experiences and add them to the others you’ve earned along the way and let them be a guide for writing an online dating profile that will be your ticket to time well-spent. Here are some tips to get you started in the world of online dating for seniors, so put that thirty-something hat on, grab your life experiences and away we go!

Family Considerations: It wasn’t something you took likely when you were younger, so why make light of it now? It’s not uncommon to find men in their 50s who would like to have another child or women in their 60s who would prefer to not be involved with men who have teenage children. In your online dating profile, be sure to highlight the details of your family and whether you’re open to raising a new family or would prefer to leave those child-rearing days behind you.

Work Status: Are you working full-time? Part-time? Blissfully retired? Let your prospective matches know how you spend your time. After all, if you’re planning on working for another five years and you start dating someone who is fully retired with a desire to travel, you may find that your priorities don’t align and you’re headed for conflict.

Short and Long-Term Goals: Maybe there’s a trek across Nepal in your future. Perhaps it’s an Alaskan cruise. You want to spend more time volunteering with your favorite charity. State your passions and help your potential matches understand what’s important to you. You’ve had a beautiful life filled with varied experiences so far, but you’re certainly not done yet. Travel, charitable work, time with family or grandchildren, contributions to your church – they all bear mentioning when you’re writing your online dating profile. Show them who you are and what you’re made of – you can never go wrong with passion.

During a conference call about the IAC/InterActive Q1 2009 Earnings report, the owner of Match.com and CEO of IAC, Barry Diller, mentioned they had been talking to Yahoo about the possibility of purchasing their dating site, Yahoo! Personals (see Story).

With this latest news article from Bloomberg it looks like Mr. Diller is not planning to make any new purchases anytime soon.

Diller said in an interview yesterday that he has no plans to make any major acquisitions ... Diller said he would rather invest in IAC’s businesses than acquire large media companies, which he sees as overvalued.

Diller also mentioned at the Goldman Sachs Group Inc. Communacopia conference in New York, that IAC has too much cash at the moment but he doesn't see a better return than investing in their own businesses. At the beginning of July 2009, IAC had $1.61 billion in cash and $95.8 million in long-term debt. The New York based company had also repurchased $300 million in stock since August 2008. Since the beginning of this year IAC stock has risen 31 percent to close above $20.

In my opinion these statements by Diller while not mentioning Yahoo Personals directly, makes it clear he has no plans to buy the dating site. By purchasing Yahoo Personals he would be investing in the dating industry, but not directly into one of his existing businesses which is what Barry Diller says he plans to do.

For more information on the dating sites mentioned, read our Match.com review and our Yahoo Personals review.

One of the burning questions asked by online daters is "Do I HAVE to reply to every email I receive?"

At the moment, the message sent to us by our online dating services is "no, you don't." We can simply hit the delete button and that undesirable person disappears. Poof, no more!

I was one of the rarities online, the woman who always took the time to reply. Sure, there were times that I'd use one of match.com's pre-made messages, but more often than not, I'd write a sentence or two. What I found was that more often than not, men were appreciative of the email and learning exactly why I felt he wasn't a good fit for me. Sure, there were a couple that argued, and one or two that got mean, but on the whole, it was a worthwhile experience on both ends.

Here are some "Thanks, but No Thanks" emails that you can feel free to steal for your swipe file:

Our new Speed Dating category is now available to all visitors. Speed Dating events or parties are usually held either online at a website or, in the "Real World" at a bar, restaurant or other entertainment location. Speed Dating offers singles a fast and easy way to meet 10 or more new people in a single night. At a typical event you go on short 3 to 6 minute speed dates with each participant of the opposite gender. After each short date you then score the person as someone you would like to either see again or not. At the end of the night, the host (or website) then gathers all the scores and if that same person wanted to meet you, your contact information would then be exchanged.

There are currently only 2 dating sites in the category. I added the Lavalife review because, at the beginning of the summer Lavalife started to offer online virtual speed dating nightly at 9 PM (use to be 8 PM) to its members (see Story). HurryDate is a new dating site which we reviewed specifically for this category. They offer both online and offline speed dating events and parties plus a dating website where members can go after the event to further communicate with their matches.

For more information about what Speed Dating is all about, visit our Speed Dating Services category.

To find out more about the dating services currently listed in this new category, read our review of Lavalife and our review of HurryDate.

Ladies, my first matter of business is to apologize. I am sorry that you have to deal with the idiot men that you have to deal with on your dating site. I am sorry that there are members of our species that will devalue you and make you feel like an attractive cut of meat rather than a person. I am sorry that while you prefer educated men, you're getting emails from guys with little to no grasp of their native tongue. I am sorry that you're getting emails from old dudes who want to trade in their 50 year old wife for two 25-year-olds. I am sorry that you get emails from philandering businessmen who want to take you for drinks at their hotel bar and "let nature take its course."

I'm sorry because I've gotten those emails too. Every one of them and then some. You're not alone and you are not wrong to feel as frustrated and angry as you do. It's a waste of time to weed through all these emails when you could be doing better things.

But please, please, please, don't add a "bad attitude paragraph" to your profile.

What's a bad attitude paragraph? Here's one:

Janis Spindel, a matchmaker by trade for 18 years, connects right minded singles. One way she does this is by holding match parties. These are not your run of the mill single events. A dinner party in August at Ms. Spindel's Bridgehampton home was for 10 bachelors from Manhattan which shared a 5 course meal with 20 single beautiful women. Women, if they meet the qualifications can attend the event for free, but men are required to pay $10,000 for the privilege.

Her matching service which only accepts men as clients is called Janis Spindel Serious Matchmaking. Their annual fees start at $50,000 USD and can increase substantially depending on the client's location and bonuses like, if the client gets married. Ms. Spindel says she is worth the price,

If you want the Rolls Royce of matchmaking, you pay for it.

She has over 1,200 relationships and 800 marriages credited to her. Ms. Spindel has yet to hear of one of her marriages ending in divorce. She employees about 20 "scouts" which help find potential clients and matches all over the United States.

For the full story, visit 27East and you can find Janis Spindel's website here. For our complete list of personal matchmaking services (which cost a lot less money), check out our Matchmaking Services category.