Online Dating

In a hurry? Tired of coffee dates that seem to go nowhere? Wait no more! In addition to the other matchmaker and classified-type online dating sites, speed dating is on the rise.

Most of these websites have a significant offline component. These are the actual dating event where you meet anywhere from 8 to 15 people over the course of an evening. While both SpeedDate.com and HuryyDate.com have an online component as well with such features as IM and matching, most are online portals to direct you to a live event.

Benefits of Speed Dating

If you haven’t had success with one-on-one encounters that have the potential to drag on or you’re just too nice a person to say “no, thank you,” then speed dating might be something to try. Your “dates” last anywhere from five to eight minutes, after which you move on to the next candidate. There’s not really an opportunity for awkward silence and whether you fancy them of not, five to eight minutes isn’t really enough time to say anything you might regret!

Drawbacks to Speed Dating

If you’re more comfortable getting to know someone over a more anonymous forum prior to meeting, then speed dating probably won’t be your ideal fit. Since these are primarily live events, you’ll probably enjoy the online dating sites like Match.com or JDate.com more as they protect your privacy and let you prepare for face-to-face meetings at your own speed.

Tips for Speed Dating

Since your dates go by so quickly, have a few questions you’d like to ask your dates in the bag. Otherwise, try to have fun! Make it less of an interview and more of a conversation and your date across the table will be able to let loose and show you a little glimpse of themselves. If you drill ‘em, you’re going to see less “them” and more “defensive them.” Go easy on that guy or gal, as they’re just as interested in making a quality connection as you are.

If you are interested in a dating site which offers this service, you should read our review of HurryDate.

For the first article in this series, read: Types of Online Dating Services: Overview

I am not surprised that Facebook is mentioned in divorce cases now days. It can be poison to marriages, as some couples I know spend more time on Facebook everyday than they do talking to each other. I had a laugh when I read that Facebook:

is nothing more than a gigantic catalogue of people you never quite slept with. Some friends, the occasional sibling, but mostly a huge, interactive menu of sexual roads less traveled.

I don't know a single person who has not used Facebook to look up a long lost flame or the one that got away. I am not saying that it is a bad thing but when people in relationships are on Facebook looking through pictures and talking to people from the old High School and/or University days, instead of spending quality time with their partner, you have to start to wonder.

Some people also see Facebook as nothing more than a dating site. Just like on a dating site, most people on Facebook reveal themselves selectively, according to what they think will show them in the best light. On dating sites you know this type of behavior happens, but with Facebook it has the appearance of being an open book, when it really is not.

For more on this story, read the Telegraph. If you are interested in a real dating experience on Facebook, you should check out our Zoosk review.

One of the stumbling blocks for members of dating sites is that fact that people can be deceptive online. In "real life", people can obviously be deceptive as well, but at least the other person can read nonverbal cues to help in determining if they think that the person they are talking to is lying.

Jeffrey T. Hancock, a communications professor at Cornell University gathered hundreds of active online daters in New York City to see how far people went in lying on dating profiles. The researches downloaded the peoples profiles and compared the information with verifiable data. This included physical attributes that could be gather on the spot like, height and weight, as well as income information which they could later look up. What the research found was white lies are common. 8 in 10 people had a small fib on their profile. This include things like their height being off by an inch or so, too their weight being 10 pounds over what they specified. Major lies like someone's marital status, were found to be rare.

Women also tended to lie more about things men care about. The most common was about physical attributes. Men lied as well, but usually on things that indicated their status in life, like income or occupation.

Most of these deceptions were not intended to be malicious. People usually lied about things that they see, they may be lacking in. If they ever meet a person in real life who had read their profile, they hoped that they would be interesting enough, that the other person would over look any deceptions.

Hancock also suggests, in which I agree with him on, is

as online dating sites are woven into social networks -- where people are linked to a web of real references -- instances of exaggeration will decrease. But even then, he says, people are still likely to present a version of their best self, even if that's not quite who they are today.

For more on this story, you can read the Washington Post.

We got official word that Compatible Partners is having a free communications weekend this December 30th, 2009 to January 3rd, 2010. For those of you who haven't heard of Compatible Partners before, it is a dating site that eHarmony setup for singles who want a same-sex relationship. Basically Compatible Partners is the Gay and Lesbian communities version of eHarmony, with all of the same features and technology.

This is an extra long Free Communication Weekend (FCW) this time around. It is a full 5 days starting on the Wednesday after Christmas and ending on Sunday in the New Year. For those of you who haven't heard of the FCW before, it is where Compatible Partners allows not only viewing of all your matches for free but you can communicate with them as well. Free members get almost all of the benefits of a paid subscription. One of the few exceptions is, not being able to fast track the 4 step guided communication process.

I know Compatible Partners has had one or two free weekends before but this is the first one we have blogged about. We are currently working on a review of this dating site and hope to have it up before the new year. If you would like to check out the dating site before this, please visit Compatible Partners.

We are virtually positive eHarmony will have their free communication weekend as well, for the United States, Canada, and the United Kingdom during the same time as Compatible Partners. For those of you interested, stay tune for a future blog post...

We're waist-deep in the holidays and I'm sure like many people, you're just a teensy bit crazy right now. Maybe your shopping isn't done, or maybe your travel plans got ruined by the Snowpocalypse 2009, or maybe your mother is coming to visit and your apartment isn't going to pass her white glove test.

Take a break from the crazy to update your online dating profile!

Putting up a fresh update:

1. Lets people know that you're alive and actively looking
2. Sets you apart from the legions of people who haven't seen their profile since they posted it
3. May get you a second glance from someone who overlooked you previously

Perhaps the most popular in the online dating world, online matchmaking sites are the ones you’ve heard the most about. Match.com, eHarmony, Chemistry.com – they are all designed to make recommendations about other users who might be a good fit for you. While many of these sites allow you to search on your own, some take the reins and handle the matchmaking process for you 100%.

If you’re a hand-on type person, sites like eHarmony and Chemistry.com may not be the best option for you as they have the strongest control on the matchmaking process. They’ll send you members to review (sometimes only a certain number per week), and then you can choose whether or not to initiate contact with them. However, if you’re looking for a little more help in the online dating department, this type of site might be ideal since they minimize your search time and bring results directly to your inbox.

Sites like Match.com, Date.com and others allow you to take control of the search process and will email you updates of users you might like to review. However, they don’t control your access to other members’ profiles and let you pretty much look at whomever you’d like. If you’re that hands-on type of person, sites like these are ideal since they allow you to remain in control of the “seek and ye shall find” process. If you’re easily overwhelmed by reading profiles and filtering results, you may want to stick with one of the pure matchmaking sites we mentioned above.

One of the benefits of the online matchmaking sites are that you can set up customizable searches to make the process simpler. They will email you results from your searches and help draw attention to new members who have recently joined who meet your search criteria. The custom search features are an excellent way to focus your time and save yourself from wading through profiles that are not going to deliver the type of person you dream about spending time with.

For more information on the dating sites mentioned in this article, read our Match.com review and our eHarmony review.

For the first article in this series, read: Types of Online Dating Services: Overview