Online Dating

Online dating services are being used more and more by soldiers, especially those stationed overseas. This isn't to say, the service men and woman are just using dating sites to find love with other soldiers stationed nearby. They use dating sites to meet new singles close to where they live at home in the US.

Both eHarmony and Match.com report that their dating sites are being used by soldiers while they are serving in Afghanistan and Iraq. eHarmony also reports that from 2006 to 2008, percentage wise, the number of military personal who are using their matchmaking site increased by 56 percent. eHarmony research psychologist, Gian Gonzaga says:

The life-altering experience of going to war often focuses the romantic mind ... When you are reminded of your own mortality, the theory kind of boils down to, you remember what's most important to you, which is relationships.

The off duty soldiers increase access to military internet cafes and the low cost of the laptop computers has made it much easier for them to cultivate a long distance romance. Military service people also tend to take online dating more seriously and invest a lot of time in online communication than your average online dater in the United States. This means, these type of long distance relationships tend to last much longer and are more meaningful. Online dating is the soldiers only real way to create a romantic relationship with someone while they are stationed in a war zone.

For more on this story, read USA Today.

There are some interesting points made in the article called Growing Pains for Online Video Chat. It looks at why video chat hasn't taken off in the social network world of Facebook and Twitter. Many companies have tried to get users interested in video chat but only a few live on, like TokBox and Seesmic (but only in niche markets). Users who use online video chat on a regular basis tend to be extroverts and thieve on the pressure to perform. With text messages it is easy for everyone to use, you just have to think about what you want to say. You don't have to worry about how you look and act in real time which can create performance anxiety.

But it's another thing entirely to speak in front of a Webcam while potentially thousands of strangers watch, judging your looks, delivery, and every gesture.

Privacy also is another issue users of video chat have. You can post text messages on number of sites anonymously, but not video. If there is a video of you out there on the internet, chances are it always will be, along with the message you give in it.

Surprisingly over 2 percent of users on JDate are not Jewish. This doesn't mean 2 percent of users have lied on JDate, they have just answered profile questions like Do you attend synagogue? or Do you keep kosher? with the options "I will tell you later" or "Never". They usually also select “Willing to convert” under religious background as well. Anonymous non-Jewish JDaters have noted a number of reasons for using a dating site designed just for Jews. Reasons include having a number of Jewish friends and knowing a lot of the religion, to hearing about other single's success on the dating service.

Some of the Jewish members have complained about allowing non-Jews on JDate. They use the site specifically to meet other single Jews, and do not want to deal with any members who are not. I understand were these members are coming from but I do not see the harm in allowing non-Jewish members from joining if they are serious about meeting someone. All members, who don't want to see non-Jewish profiles, have to do is update there search preferences and deselect "Willing to convert" and "Will tell you later" from the Religion preference. Once the preferences are saved these members will never come up in a search again.

I don't think JDate.com will ever not allow non-Jewish members from joining. The percentage who do join is small and if they ever did prevent them then, JDate may get slapped with a legal suit by a unhappy member like eHarmony was in a similar case were they did not allowing same-sex relationships (see Story).

For more details on this Jewish dating community, read our JDate review.

On Thursday, an unknown number of the over 200 million Facebook users, gave up their passwords to hackers in an email phishing scheme. Hackers initially cracked passwords of a number of Facebook accounts and then, using these accounts, sent emails to the account holders Facebook friends telling them to visit the website. The link in the email actually sent them to another website which was made to look like Facebook. When the friends logged in, they unwittingly gave up their real Facebook username and password. It is thought that the attack was designed to spread SPAM and steal identities. The affected Facebook accounts have now been closed. Apparently Facebook faced a similar attack 2 weeks ago.

Last year a similar attack type of phishing attack happened to Facebook and MySpace users. The difference that time was a virus called Koobface, which users unwittingly downloaded, was used to generate a fake email.

Last month Match.com members faced a similar phishing expedition by hackers when they were sent emails that looked like they came from Match (see Story). The email asked them to log into a fake website to view pictures and a video which required a special video player. This video player was actually a virus.

For the full story, read Reuters.

We just got confirmation that a Free eHarmony Canada Communication Weekend is in the works for this coming Labour Day Weekend. From Friday May 15, 2009 up to and including Monday, May 18, 2009 (Victoria Day) new and existing members of eHarmony.ca will be able to not only review matches for free, but communicate with them as well. As stated in our previous post, FastTrack communication is not included with free weekends.

From our count this is Free Communication Weekend number 17 for eHarmony and as usual this one falls on a holiday long weekend. Last year in May, eHarmony actually had 2 free communication weekends (see Story & Story). So, if they follow the same pattern I would expect a free weekend coming soon for the United States.

Read our eHarmony review for more information on this matchmaking dating site.

UPDATE: According to a post at eHarmony Advice, the eHarmony Free Communication Weekend starts May 15 at 12:01am Pacific Daylight Time through Monday, May 18 at 11:59pm Pacific Daylight Time. That means those of you in other Canadian time zones will have to wait an hour or more. As example, Eastern Time is 3 hours ahead of Pacific Time so the free weekend would start for you at 3:01am EST.

Here is another story from my draft folder. Back in February, PC World looked at the matching algorithms of attraction and the business models behind some of the more popular online dating sites.

Here are a few interesting statistics which emerged from their review of the industry as a whole:

• For 2009 the dating industry is expected to top $1.049 billion and is likely to grow at a rate of 10 percent.
• It is estimated with free dating sites, at least 10 percent of new accounts created each day are from scammers.
• With paid dating sites, on average 10 percent of members pay for the service and stay for less than 3 months.
• In November 2008, online dating traffic as a whole was over 22 million with males making up 52.4 percent of the total number of visits (females 47.6 percent).
• Average time spent per visit to the top 10 online dating sites in 2008 was 22 minutes and 27 seconds.

A lot of the information mention in the article we have talked about before, so I will only discuss any new details. What we did learn, deals more about the hardware needed to run a busy dating site and the process of matching. For instance (WARNING tech talk coming), eHarmony has over 4 terabytes of information on more than 20 million registered members, each who have completed the 400 to 256 profile questions (eHarmony's profile has gotten shorter over the years). After a user signs up at eHarmony, a 10 Gig Oracle database is used to match you with initially, a few members. Apparently the real matching takes place later when your answers are matched up with thousands of other users who have answered hundreds of questions. The whole process takes almost 1 billion calculations and is done in a batch operation at the end of each day. This is a lot of calculations to find matches for a single user. It also tells me that while the initial database is probably filled with the most current users who are using eHarmony now, the matches which you may be more compatible with, will be given to you in a day or so from the much larger database. To give you an idea of the size difference between the two, the main database is about 400 times larger. eHarmony also says a members actions and outcomes on the site is stored and used to help determine matches. The example given deals with your geographical limit you set when you first filled out your profile. If you say, set it to 20 miles, but the eHarmony matching system sees you are viewing members who live farther away, then your location limit will be adjusted. This is because, eHarmony will assume location of a match isn't a deal breaker for you (so only click on those long distance matches only if you really want to travel).

PerfectMatch.com (which has 5 million members) has a lengthy profile as well when compared to most other dating sites, but it still only takes about half of the time to complete when compared to eHarmony's. For their dating site, Perfect Match uses 5 web servers and a number of SQL server database servers. A number of other servers are also used to handle messaging and marketing needs. According to the company, PerfectMatch.com's matches happen right away, there is little to no delay.

PlentyofFish.com is also mentioned and the article. According to the author, POF wants to keep things simple when it comes to the profile and searching. The thing is, POF does have a Chemistry test which for some reason is not mentioned. Plenty Of Fish also has been promoting this fact lately due to their new Serious Member paid membership. Serious Members must take the chemistry and personality test to qualify. Hardware wise, we learned that Plenty Of Fish uses 3 web servers, 5 messaging servers and 5 database servers. Their database of user information is 200 GB. For the year the total cost to operate is only a couple hundred thousand dollars with the majority of the money spent on bandwidth.

For information on some of the dating sites mentioned here, read our eHarmony review and our Perfect Match review.