Online Dating

If asked to describe your personality, what would you say? Do you consider yourself adventurous, dorky, and a little bit kinky? Are you introverted, artsy, and into politics?

Perhaps you're compassionate but also aggressive, or ambitious but also polite.

These characteristics are several of the 20+ personality traits examined by Christian Rudder in the OkTrends blog's latest study: "Gay Sex vs. Straight Sex." Using the match questions answered by OkCupid members, the site collected more than 669 million responses and created a straight/gay comparison chart for personality categories like "Confident," "Literary," Religious," and "Romantic."

Straight men, as it turns out, live up to the clichéd image of the "bullying jock." Based on their answers, they were rated more aggressive, more confident, more violent, more horny, more competitive, and more into sports than gay men. Their hyper-masculinity was tempered, however, by being rated more dorky, more religious, and more romantic than their gay counterparts.

Stereotypes appeared on the opposite side of the t-chart as well: gay men were ranked higher on personality traits that are often considered feminine, like "Compassionate," "Trusting," "Literary," "Artsy," and "Generous," though they are apparently also more ambitious, spontaneous, and political.

Gay women scored higher then straight women on almost every characteristic, with particularly strong leads in the categories of "Adventurous," "Artsy," "Into Drugs," and "Kinky." The only personality traits that were stronger in straight women were "Ambitious," "Into Sports" (at least the women managed to defy a stereotype!), "Optimistic," "Polite," and "Religious."

Rudder's next move is a return to OkCupid's "The REAL 'Stuff White People Like'" study (my reviews of the study can be found here, here, and here), this time using members' descriptions of themselves to measure traits based on gender and sexuality. The words and phrases that appeared most frequently in gay men's profiles were: "The Devil Wears Prada," "Britney Spears," "Mean Girls," "Kelly Clarkson," and "The Color Purple." With only a few exceptions, the terms were all related to films, books, theatre, and music. Gay women overwhelmingly placed "The L Word" in the top spot (so much so that Rudder had to shrink the size of the text to fit the site's template), followed by "Tegan and Sara," "Ani DiFranco," "Piercings," and, again in the 5^th spot, "The Color Purple."

Straight men define themselves by traditionally masculine interests, like cars, war movies, sports, beer, and fixing things. Straight women consider their girlfriends very important and are searching for Mr. Right, but are also determined to prove that they are "Independent" and "Self-Sufficient." They also enjoy make up, romantic movies and books, and careers in the medical field.

Rudder's final analysis of the data measures "the frequencies of all one-, two-, and three-word phrases against the site-wide rates." According to his chart, gay users are significantly less "mainstream" than straight users, with bi users predictably falling in between. "In fact," Rudder notes, "what these numbers are saying is that the average gay person has only about 30% in common with the average American." Before anyone writes an angry letter to OkCupid about discrimination, however, consider Rudder's closing comments: "Adding an ethnic group to the plot helps put it in perspective." When Indian users are added to the graph, they are ranked even less "mainstream" than gay members.

So what can we take away from this?

Defining "normality" is an impossible task, and "no one's saying that Indians shouldn't get married or shouldn't be allowed to adopt children....We hope gay people can expect the same treatment very soon."

Have you ever had a sexual encounter with someone of the same sex?

The 252,900 straight people OkCupid polled in their newest study, "Gay Sex vs. Straight Sex," provided surprising results: nearly a quarter responded that they had participated in a same-sex experience, and an additional 11% reported that they had not but would like to.

Writer Christian Rudder then broke down the replies to the inquiry geographically, creating a color-coded map of the "straight people who either have had or would like to have a same-sex experience in the continental U.S. and lower Canada." Most of the results are predictable - the West Coast and the North East are more gay curious, while the Southern states are significantly less so - but some are unexpected. Even in the states that reported being less interested in exploring same-sex experiences, pockets of gay curiosity, in cities like Austin and Madison, can be found. And perhaps most interestingly of all, Canada is entirely orange and red, the colors that indicate the highest level of gay curiosity, from coast to coast.

In a brief aside, Rudder discusses the "many awful things our elected officials have said about gay people" that he encountered while writing his post, mentioning in particular a quote from Jim Demint: "If a person is a practicing homosexual, they should not be teaching in our schools." Rudder facetiously notes that "a fun game to play with stuff like this is to replace the words 'homosexual' and 'gay' with 'politician,'" because "then you have something that's actually true," and then proceeds to attempt to discredit Demint's claim by searching through the answers to match questions. What he finds is "one question with a surprising disparity, not between orientations, but between genders."

The question is straightforward - "Which is bigger: the earth or the sun?" You'd think that anyone who passed the 4^th grade would be able to answer this simple astronomy query with ease, but it appears that was not the case - over 10% of straight women incorrectly answered that the earth is larger than the sun, and just under 10% of gay women answered similarly. The men fared much better: only 5% of gay men, and fewer than 5% of straight men, got the question wrong.

Rudder's results can be summed up in one word: Yikes. Perhaps we'd all be better off abandoning our academic pursuits in favor of moving to Canada and exploring our same-sex inclinations.

Stick around for a review of the final findings of OkCupid's "Gay Sex vs. Straight Sex" study, in which Rudder evaluates the personality traits that are most associated with each orientation, revisits the fun of the "The REAL 'Stuff White People Like'" study, and attempts to define "the norm."

According to Ilana Angel, a popular blogger for the Jewish Journal website, earlier this month she had gone out to lunch with a few people who work at the online dating site JDate. JDate had wanted to see how her search for a Jewish match was going. Her previous two relationships with men had been the result of using JDate but this time when she joined, she found she wasn't having the same success. One thought Angel had was, that the men were scared away because she blogs about her dating experiences (even though she doesn't use real names). JDate decided on this lunch to share their recommendations on how Angel can use their site better to find a man she likes and who is not worried about dating a professional blogger.

She hasn't posted yet on how the lunch went with JDate. When she does we will make sure to let you know.

You can read Ilana Angel blog post here and you can find out more about the dating site she talks about by reading our review of JDate.com.

The "Are You Interested" Facebook application is owned by SNAP Interactive. This app recently became the largest dating application on Facebook with 13,262,420 monthly active users. Just a month ago they had only around 8,424,000 monthly active users. Snap Interactive also posted 3rd quarter revenues of $1.65 million which was an increase of over 100 percent when compared to the same period last year. With these rising revenue numbers it looks like Snap Interactive new found traffic is of high quality.

The second largest Facebook dating application is Zoosk with 7,514,381 monthly active users. While "Are you Interested" may have a larger Facebook presence, Zoosk still has a much larger overall membership base thanks to the popularity of their dating website. Zoosk Facebook users also get to interact with the members of the dating website, and vice versa.

For more on this story, check out All Facebook. To find out more about dating on Facebook, please take a look at our Facebook Dating reviews category.

The results of OkCupid's latest study are in, and the findings are bound to amuse some, offend others, and leave everyone else wondering why Canada is so intrigued by same-sex sex.

Blogger Christian Rudder explains the reasoning for collecting the latest research, in a study called "Gay Sex vs. Straight Sex," with this intro: "Gay issues have been in the news a lot lately, from the debate over same-sex marriage in Congress to a sickening rash of gay-bashing here in New York City. We see a lot of emotion out there, instead of information, and we wanted to provide some data-based context on sexuality so that people might make better choices about what they say, think, and do."

It's certainly a noble goal, but did they achieve it?

The initial conclusion the researchers draw is this: "First of all, gay sexuality is not a threat." Wording - which is bound to ruffle a few feathers - aside, the study makes a valid point: "The subtext to a lot of homophobic thinking is the idea that gays will try to get straight people into bed at the first opportunity, or that gays are looking to 'convert' straights." After reviewing more than 4 million match searches, the OkCupid research team found almost no evidence to back up the stereotype. Only 0.6% of gay men had ever searched for straight matches, only 0.1% of lesbians had ever searched for straight matches, and only 0.13% of straight people's profile visitors were gay. There were no gay users, male or female, who predominantly searched for straight members.

The researchers' next task was to debunk another virulent, but persistent, stereotype: that gay people are more promiscuous than straight people. "The statistical reality," Rudder writes, "is that gay people as a group aren't any more slutty than straights." The median reported sex partners for straight men, gay men, straight women, and gay women was exactly the same: just 6 people. A little under half of gay people (45%) and straight people (44%) had had 5 or fewer partners, while 98% of gay people and 99% of straight people had had 20 or fewer partners. The myth of gay promiscuity turned out to be just that - a particularly stubborn myth that was not supported by the research. In fact, the OkCupid team found that "just 2% of gay people have had 23% of the total reported gay sex," a finding that Rudder eloquently describes as "pretty crazy."

The study's next conclusion is certain to come as a surprise to many: "Straight people have gay sex, too." Almost a quarter of the 252,900 straight people asked "Have you ever had a sexual encounter with someone of the same sex?" answered "Yes." Rudder breaks the responses down into a pie chart: 66% responded "No, and I would never," 11% responded "No, but I would like to," 6% responded "Yes, and I didn't enjoy myself," and 17% responded "Yes, and I enjoyed myself."

Rudder further breaks the results down into charts for men and for women. Predictably, women expressed more interest in exploring their same-sex desires than men did. 1 in 3 straight women reported intimacy with another woman, and of those who hadn't hooked up with women, more than 1 in 4 stated that they would like to. As for the men, 13% responded that they had had a same-sex experience, and an additional 5% said that they hadn't yet, but would like to.

Stay tuned for Part II, in which Rudder takes on politicians, teaches an important astronomy lesson, and examines Canada's homosexual curiosity.

Describing yourself is one of the hardest things to do especially when you have to write it for an online profile. Online dating has become the fastest trend of meeting new people but it is also very competitive. You need to invest valuable time to create an attention grabbing profile that is creative and unique. The following are 3 tips to make your dating profile work for you.

Choose a Great Username

Your online username is the first thing members see on a dating website. Most people don't take the time to create a memorable username. You don't want to have a username that is generic and forgettable to members. Remember, the username you choose will represent you the entire time you are on the dating site. Don't use a name that is too long to remember or raunchy and offensive. If you are having trouble coming up with a name, make a list of your hobbies and traits that describe you. Play around with the words and combine something that is catchy and unforgettable.

Create a Unique Header

There are many people who leave this part blank or use something common that will have potential dates bypass. A good tip is to review the profiles of other members. You will quickly see how many did not take the time to write something exciting. Do take note of the profile headers that capture your attention and use this research to write something that shows off your personality.

Get Picture Perfect

It's always surprising to see how many people on a dating website use outdated photos of themselves. If you end up going out on a date with a member, your date will expect the person she or he saw in the photo you displayed on your profile. Always be honest with the information you share on the dating website. Most people have signed up in hopes to meet a potential future partner. If you don't have a recent picture of yourself, get a friend to take several pictures to choose from. Get picture ready by choosing a background that represents you. It will give potential dates a chance to see you in your element, moreover, it gives them something to write to you about.

Say Something of Interest - Stand Out!

The more that you can write about yourself the better, how else is someone supposed to find out about you and appreciate you for the unique individual that you are? Consider short a series of funny stories in addition to likes and dislikes, and how you spend your free time.