Online Dating

A concerned visitor sent me an email the other day asking what has happened to the Plenty of fish forums? Did they shut down? I was like oh no not again, they have done something to the forums on POF. I still noticed the forums coming up in the search results so I visited forums.plentyoffish.com directly and was greeted with a nasty server run time error.

Now I know a bit about web servers and this is a Microsoft Internet Information Server (IIS) error. This is not good (see the full explanation below) because it indicates to me that the files for the Plenty of fish forum website has been removed. After further investigation it looks like this may have happened at least a week ago, since visitors have been searching our site about the Plenty of fish forums being removed for that long.

I am surprised that POF hasn’t addressed the problem. They must know about it as I am sure a large number of people have already complained about the issue as it has been a week now already. Also the POF forums are still very popular even though they are not directly linked to the main POF.com site anymore (I think POF wants to slowly kill the forums). What has me puzzled though is if they had plan to stop providing the forum, why not remove the website and domain record all together or at least display a nice message about the situation and the reason for the removal (which would take 2 minutes to do). Displaying a runtime error isn’t very professional. Heck even a redirect to the main POF dating site would have been better.

Update: After checking the POF forums off and on for the last hour it appears that this is an intermediate problem. About half the time I get a runtime error, about a quarter of the time I get some other one line text error and for the other quarter of the time the forums actually work. As I said before this has been happening for at least a week since others have reported on it.

I have a thought, let’s start a campaign to see if we can get Plenty of fish to fix the forums. I am going to tweet about this story on Twitter using the hashtag #FixForumsOnPOF. If you want POF to keep the forums alive like I do, then re-tweet my tweet or post your own using the hashtag. Maybe if POF is listening they will do something about it and fix the problem with the forums. 😊

In the meantime since you can’t use the POF forums all of the time you are more than welcome to post your relationship and online dating questions and observations in our dating forums. We have a number of forum categories you can post in about a whole pile of different topics.

So, what does the runtime IIS error mean that most people seem to be getting? It actually is 2 errors in one. The web server is complaining first about their not being a custom error file in the location specified to display to visitors when an error happens. The second error actually triggered the first error. The second error is harder to figure out since the current error message is all about the first error. The second error is some sort of application error which could be anything from the actual website files not being available to a coding error in the requested web file. Since an error message is displayed it does indicate that webserver is working properly and that there is nothing wrong with the domain record.

If you are looking for a popular free dating site to try and want some more information then you should read our Plenty of fish review.

It has often been said that the Internet would be nothing without funny pictures of cats.

It sounds ridiculous, but as far as I'm concerned, it isn't far from the truth (or should I say "teh truth?"). Cats have become such an integral part of the World Wide Web experience that they can now determine your next date.

Yep, that's right...lolcats, and your other favorite Internet phenomena, can now be responsible for the future of your love life. Allow me to introduce you to your new favorite dating sites, all of which base your dates on your favorite subreddits and taste in Internet humor.

Reddit has spawned a wealth of redditor-created dating sites, like LaughMatch.com and 4.EverAlone.com. On LaughMatch, users watch a series of funny videos upon registering. After giving their reviews of humorous clips like a bad lip read of Twilight, the site matches members with dates based on where they placed the slider to rate the videos. A similar sense of humor is a solid foundation for any relationship, right?

4.everalone promises to match users based on their favorite subreddits. All new members provide an e-mail address, their reddit login info, and a list of their 5 favorite subreddits. The site's creator then searches the database to find another redditor with the same subreddit interests.

Another great idea came from yet another redditor, though the site is now no more. TalkOverTea eliminated one of online dating's biggest problems by implementing a very simple solution. The dating profile formula means that we all judge our dates long before we've ever even spoken to them - often solely by their pictures, because we never make it to the text.

TalkOverTea eradicated harmful and unfair prejudgments by turning the typical online dating process on its head. Instead of viewing a profile first and messaging later, TalkOverTea members began communicating first. The site engaged two users in conversation and then, over time, revealed tidbits of their profiles as the conversation continued. It's a refreshing approach to online dating that I wish had stuck around...perhaps one day it will return.

So far, it seems that the giant online dating sites are winning the battle for Web dominance, but I still hold out hope for the smaller, niche sites. In some ways they do a better job of replicating the way we connect in real life, since we often meet new people in locations or during activities based around a specific, shared interest.

What has your experience been? Have you had more success on small sites like these, or big sites like Match?

I think I speak for all of us when I say that the good old days of the OkTrends blog are sorely missed. We all looked forward to a new post from Christian Rudder on something button-pushing and scandalous, like race or attractivenesss. Like many who mourn the loss of the infamous blog, James Taranto, a writer for WSJ.com, returned to a 2009 OkTrends post to illuminate a present conundrum.

The conundrum in question was the WSJ's Valentine's Day survey on attraction and the sexes. The OkTrends post offered this bit of obvious advice: an attractive photo is essential to a successful online dating profile. To figure out exactly how much of an edge beautiful people had, OkCupid asked users to rate the attractiveness of members of the opposite sex on a six-point scale (with 0 as the lowest).

A chart shows that the distribution of female attractiveness as rated by men is close to the normal distribution known as the bell curve (or, as Taranto calls it, the "belle curve"). In other words, the average woman's looks are rated "medium," and an equal number of women are rated on either side of that with the numbers declining relatively evenly until they approach zero.

After a way too long dry stint of no dates and even less prospects it can be all too thrilling to finally score a first date with someone. It doesn't matter if it's with a work crush, blind date, or someone you met through an online dating service, you're exciting that this date could be the first of many. Not to be a wet blanket, but this sense of elation and nerves can often push aside some basic safety precautions that you should take before going on a first date with anyone you don't know well.

Perform a Background Check This might sound like overkill to a lot of you, but a simple background check can pull up a lot of red flags that may have you rethinking a date with someone. Background checks can show you information like marriage licenses (How many exes are too many? What if they're currently married?), not to mention any legal altercations. While every girl likes a bad boy, everybody has a line. Is cancelling a date based off of what you find on a background check fair? Maybe, maybe not. But at the least it will give you things to watch out for and will let you know if they're being honest with you.

Go to a Public Place Never, ever, ever-ever-ever-ever-ever meet for a first date with someone at their private residence or somewhere that's very removed. Meet at a neutral location where plenty of people are sure to be like a restaurant, bar, coffee house, sporting event, or something else along those lines. Along the same lines, don't get in a private vehicle with your date either - even if it's yours.

Let Someone Know Whenever I go on an extended walk or hike I am sure to let someone know where I'm going and what time I'm expecting to be back, and first dates aren't much different. This is doubly true if you've never met your date in person. Let a friend know what you're doing, where you're going, and when you expect to be back. Check in with them afterwards to let them know how the date went and that you're okay.

Have an Out First dates are always iffy and you don't want to be stuck there all night if it turns out to be a big disappointment, for either of you. That being said, it's best to schedule something that won't take too long. But even with short dates, be prepared to excuse yourself from the date. While you don't need an excuse (if you're uncomfortable, just leave!), it can be less awkward for both of you if you have a believable out. I don't mean fake a call from the hospital about your aunt you just got in a car accident.

First dates are fun and exciting, but they can potentially be dangerous if you're meeting up with someone you've only ever interacted with online, or not at all. Take some basic precautions before the date to insure your safety. That way you can relax for real when everything goes smoothly.

Kristen Bright is a blogger living in San Diego who tries to promote safe online interactions by using background checks on people before moving forward.

A eHarmony free communication weekend (FCW) is happening right now in the U.S. and Canada. It started today and runs to 11:59pm PST on Tuesday April 16th. No credit card is required and all members can communicate with their matches for free during this 5 day event.

If you want to take eHarmony for a test drive this 5 day FCW is worth checking out. You get to create a profile, review your matches and communicate with them all for free. This allows you to try out most of eHarmony’s services for no cost and it will give you a good idea of the type of matches you will receive and how the whole online dating process works at eHarmony. This dating site calculates your highly-compatible matches based on their algorithm which has years of research invested into it. The only things not included during this event is viewing photos, skip straight to mail and Secure Call.

eHarmony’s last free communication weekend happened in March (see Story). For further facts on this dating site you can read our detailed eHarmony review. Comments and user reviews are also available from this page.

Christian Mingle has partnered with a Dallas, Texas ministry called H.I.S. BridgeBuilders. This ministry helps restore low-income urban communities through economic means, education, health and spiritual development. With this new collaboration Christian Mingle's first project will be to help plant gardens in underprivileged communities located in south Dallas. These gardens will offer healthy food options to people who need it.

Christian Mingle and H.I.S. BridgeBuilders also plan to host charitable events to raise money for this and other projects. For more on this story you can read the press release and to find out how Christian Mingle works as a dating site you can read our review.