Online Dating

Most people know that while online dating is a great way to meet people you might otherwise never have encountered, it’s really a place to set up the real test: meeting in person. However, that often doesn’t stop us from trying to “milk” the online setup, as it were. After all, we might reason, we’ve put all this time and effort into our profiles! We’ve enjoyed reading the profile of our potential match! The first email is going well! Why potentially ruin things and meet in person right away? Why not keep things going?

Tempting as it may be, on that path lies only the potential for awkwardness and disappointment. Let’s consider a few basic scenarios: Steve enjoys Sally’s profile, and vice versa. Their first few emails have been fun and witty. What might happen if they prolong their first meeting a little?

If they’re truly compatible, they’ll still have that spark in person when they finally meet. However, now it might be a little awkward; they’ve only just met, but they’ve also been baring their souls to one another. Do they count this as their first date, then? What about the physical aspect? Hopefully things will just “work themselves out” as they play it by ear, but developing one aspect of their relationship ahead of everything else could make it feel like a lopsided tricycle.

Now let’s consider what might happen if they’re not truly compatible - they meet in person and there’s just no spark. Maybe one of them even finds the other annoying. They really seemed to click in email, but there’s something about the in-person delivery that changes everything. However, once again, they’ve had all these long, deep conversations via email. They know a lot about one another, and they’re emotionally invested. Do they soldier on even though there’s no real connection in person? Do they break things off a feel a sting that’s much worse now (or potentially much worse for one of them)?

Finally, let’s consider what would have happened if they hadn’t prolonged their first meeting. If they’re truly compatible, they’ll feel that first spark. Discovery - both physical and emotional - will move along at a fairly even pace. It might be fairly “bog standard,” but that doesn’t mean it’s not exciting.

And if they’re not compatible? One slightly awkward date and a cordial goodbye. No pain at having exposed your heart to someone who doesn’t feel the same way; no guilt and awkwardness at knowing too much about someone you don’t like. A clean ending to the meeting, with minimal baggage.

So as you start up conversations with potential matches, don’t let yourself be lured by the safety and general momentum of online dating. Just because you’ve mastered one section doesn’t mean you’ll fail at the next - and soon you’ll feel like an old hand at first dates, too. Delaying that first meeting is only pausing the inevitable, at best - and if the outcome is good, don’t you want to get right to where the fun starts?

There is a new dating app now available on the Apple App Store from WealthyMen.com. Just like the actual website the WealthyMen app aims to connect attractive women with established professionals looking to meet that special someone.

What makes WealthyMen unique among dating sites is that it is one of the few that offers a verification service in which male members can verify their income, photos and profession. Because of the type of site this is, it has a high female to male ratio.

The dating app offers most functionality of the dating site including creating a profile, searching for members and communication. For more information on this dating site you can read our Wealthy Men review.

China's largest dating site, Jiayuan.com, announced last week that they had reached 90 million members around 7pm on July 7, 2013. It took them only 6 months to signup 10 million more members (in January of 2013 they had 80 million members).

Jiayuan.com is also the only Chinese dating site company that is trading on the NASDAQ. Their IPO happened on May, 2011 and the company has since doubled in worth.

For more information on this milestone of Jiayuan you can check out the press release.

If you've been on the Internet in the last week - and seeing as this is 2013, there's no way you haven't - you've probably come across an article proclaiming that online dating has scientifically been proven to be better than traditional dating.

Every feed I follow has been blowing up with the news that 1 in 3 Americans now meet their spouses online, and that a new study has found that marriages born out of online dating are more satisfying and less likely to end in divorce. The study's results were published in a paper called "Marital Satisfaction and Breakups Differ Across Online and Offline Meeting Venues" in the current issue of the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences.

"These data suggest that the Internet may be altering the dynamics and outcomes of marriage itself," said the study's lead author John Cacioppo, the Tiffany and Margaret Blake Distinguished Service Professor in Psychology at the University of Chicago.

Before you vow never to meet people in person again, it's important to note that the study was funded by eHarmony.com and Cacioppo is paid as a scientific advisor for eHarmony. Of course, everyone involved promises that eHarmony's backing did not affect the outcomes of the study in any way, but...

I know I'm not the only one looking at this new data with a healthy dose of skepticism.

I am, however, not so skeptical about a few of Cacioppo's claims. Online dating clearly has changed the face of relationships forever, and there's no going back. Cacioppo's research found that nearly 8% of marriages initiated offline end in breakups, while couples who meet online report divorce and separation rates of only 6%.

I'll be holding firmly onto my grains of salt until further studies - ones that aren't in any way connected to online dating sites - confirm his data, but I'm willing to admit that Cacioppo may have a point. Online dating may indeed lead to greater marriage satisfaction for a few key reasons:

1. The pool of prospective partners is significantly larger online, increasing the chance that you'll meet someone you're highly compatible with.
2. Singles who take the step of joining an online dating site may be more serious about finding a long-term partner than singles encountered offline.
3. Online daters may be more honest and up-front about who they are and what they're looking for (barring those infamous little white lies told in profiles), meaning that the connections they form are more genuine.

"It is possible that individuals who met their spouse online may be different in personality, motivation to form a long-term marital relationship, or some other factor," Cacioppo said in a press release.

That sounds like the perfect opportunity for another study - one that isn't funded by an online dating giant.

Related Article: The Secret To A Happy Marriage Is…Online Dating?

Remember the three-day rule? Well, you can forget about waiting to make that call and a lot of other advice that might have worked in the dating scene ten years ago.

Now in the age of GPS-based apps like Tinder that can hook you up with someone instantly, and the way we communicate primarily via text rather than phone calls, this kind of advice falls short. Now that we have instant access (and therefore expect more immediate gratification), we don't have the time or patience to sit around and wait. After all, there could be five other hot men (or women) to meet in the meantime.

So how do you navigate the new digital dating world with so much access to new people - whether it's online dating, mobile dating, or meeting through Facebook? What are some guidelines to help figure out when to contact someone and how?

Following are some new tips to get you started:

Get familiar with technology. If you're new to the dating scene then it's important not to dismiss technology when it comes to helping you find someone. Online dating is extremely popular, with thousands of singles joining various websites every day. Mobile dating also offers a lot of different options - from apps that connect you to friends of friends on Facebook to those that tell you who is single and within a five-mile radius of where you happen to be in the moment. See what's out there. Don't assume that it's not for you until you try it.

Communicate. Instead of playing coy and waiting around for someone else to make a move, it's good to communicate with him so he knows you're interested. Dating moves very quickly, so if you drop in and out of communication with someone or wait a day or more to answer a text, you could miss out on opportunities. Be consistent - respond in a timely way to texts and emails, and check in with your online dating site often.

Be honest. If you are serious about finding a relationship, then it's important to be honest about who you are. It's easy to pretend to be someone else online and paste old photos on your dating profile or fudge your age or height. But when you start meeting people to date, you're going to have to explain yourself. Be true to who you are, that is the best way to connect to someone else.

Be bold. Good relationships don't just magically happen. They require risk - we have to put ourselves out there, to be willing to show who we are to someone else. If you go solo to that party, or talk to the stranger in front of you in the Starbucks line, or get up the nerve to message that guy you've been eyeing on your online dating site, you are making the effort. These are all small steps, but can lead to something great. Take more risks by putting yourself out there. Love is worth it.

When you’ve first decided to join an online dating site, it can be tempting to just jot down the first thing that comes into your head before you’ve lost your nerve. However, unless you really think you will truly lose your nerve and never come back if you don’t publish a profile that very minute, it can be more helpful to save your work temporarily and revisit it later.

The perks of revision are numerous and broad. First of all, there are the same upsides that there are for editing any work: you’ll have a better chance of catching mistakes if you read it over later. Nothing pulls a reader out of a profile faster than a blatantly misspelled word, or worse, an autocorrect that is completely wrong and inappropriate. Giving yourself even a few hours’ worth of space can save you countless embarrassing moments.

Then there’s the issue of content. When a profile is written in the heat of the moment, the emotion behind that moment tends to permeate the profile. That can be helpful if you were feeling particularly confident, excited and inspired, but not so much if you were despondent, anxious or angry at an ex. Plus, some “spur of the moment” writers might be under the influence of something else, like peer pressure (“Say you like long walks on the beach! It’ll be hilarious!”) or alcohol. By the light of the next morning, you may find more than simple typos: red flags, jokes that aren’t funny, rants, or inappropriate double entendres make frequent appearances.

At the same time, that’s not to say that those first-draft profiles are completely useless. Often there’s a candidness or an honesty to such writing that’s harder to get when you’re carefully evaluating each word. Sometimes those “spur of the moment” writing sessions reveal more of the “real you” than would otherwise surface; other times they’re clouded by self-consciousness, bitterness or beer. Luckily, it’s often clearly apparent later which you’re dealing with - and if you’ve got a gem, the trick is to polish it through editing without wearing away the character.

So don’t be afraid to sit down and pour out your feelings on who you are and what you want; don’t fling it out immediately onto the internet, either. Instead, save those candid writings, but don’t be afraid to view them with a critical eye later. It’s the combination of passion and polish that produces a memorable profile.