Online Dating

One of the best things about online dating is its ability to connect you with more potential partners, from anywhere in the world, than you would ever encounter in real life.

One of the worst things about online is its ability to connect you with more potential partners, from anywhere in the world, than you would ever encounter in real life. All that choice is more than a little overwhelming, and when we're faced with an overwhelming number of choices we tend not to make any decisions at all.

What's the point of spending all that time browsing profiles if you're only going to window shop? Online dating doesn't do you any good unless you actually remember to do the 'dating' part, too.

Learning how to online date efficiently wasn't easy, but after enough wasted hours and dead-end profiles I've finally figured out a few key ways to identify dates with real potential. If you're in the market for something more serious than a few flirty messages or a quick hookup, be on the lookout for these four signs you've found a promising partner:

1. They've got a positive outlook on life. You wouldn't want to spend your life with someone who was consistently pessimistic, so why start a relationship with someone who is already showing off their negative side? Profiles that are cynical about relationships, whine about their exes, or otherwise talk about the ways life gets them down are not good date material.
2. They're confident but humble. There's a fine line to walk when you're dating online - you have to present your positive qualities (because if you don't, who will?), but you don't want to come off as arrogant or narcissistic. Avoid profiles that cross the line and seem more interested in talking about themselves than learning about you.
3. They've got something going for them. That 'something' can be pretty much anything - an intriguing hobby, a passion for travel, an interesting job - as long as it exists. What you don't want is a profile that seems totally directionless. If every picture takes place in a nightclub and is captioned with something about how wasted they were that night, long-term dating probably isn't in the cards.
4. They're taking it seriously. We've all run across those profiles that consist of only a few sentences, one of which is probably something about how they don't know what to say or aren't really sure about the online dating thing. Don't date a waffler. Unless it's clear that they have a profile because they're genuinely interested in meeting someone to date, don't waste your time.

Match.com's popular Stir events have come to Canada. A Stir event is an organized singles party that is held at a physical venue like a bar or restaurant. This week events are being held in Toronto, Vancouver, Ottawa, Calgary and Edmonton.

Starting August 26,2013 Match.com Canadian members can sign up for Stir events by visiting the Events tab in the Match.com membership area. Invitation to events are sent out based on a user’s demographic information, age, and physical location.

When you go to a Stir happy hour event you know the relationship status of everyone there is single. Events are arranged and invites are sent out to members based on their location to the event and the age range the event is designed for. When you get to the event you also can connect with your mobile phone to find out who else is in attendance, what they are looking for in a match and, view their profile and photos.

For more information on Stir events you can read our page on Match.com or you can check out the press release.

Facebook and Google probably know more about you than some of your friends do.

We're all guilty of it. In this age of oversharing, we live in public. Every detail of every day is shared with friends, family, fans, and followers with little regard for privacy or potential future repercussions. We assume that the sites we choose to reveal that information to keep our data safe and confidential. It's just blind trust, and sometimes our trust isn't rewarded.

Case in point: Successful Match, which has allegedly posted the HIV and STI statuses of its customers on affiliate dating sites without their knowledge. Successful Match is now facing a class action lawsuit claiming the conglomerate broke the law and its promises of confidentiality to customers on PositiveSingles.com. Positive Singles shared users' HIV and STI statuses with 'thousands' of spinoff sites, alleges the suit, including HIVGayMen.com, STDHookup.com and Blackpoz.com.

The two female plaintiffs say they were promised "fully anonymous profiles" in a service that would connect them with other singles with the same status when they joined Positive Singles. "What it does not do, however, is disclose that there are upwards of a thousand other websites that link to PositiveSingles.com," all of which use the same database of profiles, the women say in the suit.

The suit also alleges that Successful Match created all its websites with identical formats, despite promising that each website was "unique" and "exclusive." The plaintiffs say the websites' forms were intentionally designed to prevent the majority of members from ever seeing the Terms of Service. The Terms of Service could not be printed, and instead could only be obtained by personally contacting SuccessfulMatch.com to request a copy.

The provisions in the Terms of Service gave Successful Match.com the right to share all user profiles created on PositiveSingles.com. They also granted Successful Match the rights to all information entered in the site and gave the conglomerate permission to share the profiles.

The Positive Singles homepage now includes a disclaimer, but it's unclear when the disclaimer was posted:

PositiveSingles is part of a network of affiliated sites serving persons who are STD positive. Please see our Privacy Policy for details of how user profiles are accessible to others in the network.

Currently, the lawsuit seeks class certification, restitution, declaratory judgment, a permanent injunction against the defendant's business plan and collection of fees, and compensatory and punitive damages.

Imagine an online profile that went something like this:

“I’m not like the others. I don’t like chick flicks or horror films. I also don’t like science fiction, action or adventure. I can’t stand Thai food, and pizza is the worst of all. I’m not interested in hiking or any sort of athletic activity; frisbee is probably the most pointless game ever. If you’re looking for someone with whom to make spontaneous plans, I’m not your person. Oh, and if you’re looking for fun, you might as well skip this profile right now. Message me if you’ve got the nerve!”

Sounds silly, right? Not to mention completely negative. You can almost imagine the dour expression of the author as they flatly list off everything they can’t stand. Plus, we still don’t know much about the author other than their negative attitude; we know what they don’t like, but nothing about what they do. But in reality, no one would ever write a profile like this - right?

Well, maybe not exactly, but it’s actually not uncommon to come across profiles that spend more time talking about who they’re not and what they’re not looking for than any concrete, positive details about themselves. You might have seen something like this:

“I’m not looking for drama - in fact, I hate playing games. If you’re someone high-maintenance who demands to know my every move, you’re probably not for me. I’m not a big partier, and I think most clubs are a waste of time. If you’re a member of another religion or political party, thanks but no thanks. Not interested in people who don’t have a sense of humor or can’t understand sarcasm. It may sound blunt, but I tell it like it is. Message me if you think you can handle it.”

Again, the example is a little extreme when taken as a whole, but the individual statements pop up all the time. Just like the first example, the statements bring down the tone of the profile, making it feel negative, and they still fail to state anything much about the author (other than a red flag).

Those individual statements can sound innocuous when surrounded by interesting, positive material, so they have a tendency to creep in without our realizing them. As such, one statement can probably be overlooked (unless it’s your own profile, in which case you might want to reword if possible). However, more negative statements like these should indeed be a red flag; if nothing else, they might be indicative of a generally negative outlook.

So as you glance over your own profile as well as those of others, think critically about what the profile is really saying. Does the profile tell you about the author and draw you in? Or do you have a better idea of what their dislikes and dealbreakers are?

The big news in the dating world these days is that relationships formed on the Web may last longer and be happier than relationships that start offline. With explosive research like that hitting the scene, online dating is bound to be on the agenda of just about everyone - even the ones who never thought they would try it.

But it can be tricky to navigate the brave new world of online dating profiles if it's totally unfamiliar territory, and the difference between a newbie profile and an expert profile is vast. That's why I've put together 9 of my best tips to get you started on your journey to becoming an online dating superstar:

Superstar Secret #1: You don't have to do it alone.

Your friends are a valuable source of support as you begin your online dating adventures. Ask them to help with your profile if you can't figure out what to write. Sometimes they know you better than you know yourself.

Superstar Secret #2: Clichés are not cute.

It seems like obvious advice, but a lot of people who are new to online dating get it wrong. 'Long walks on the beach' may very well be a hobby for you, but they're not an interesting conversation starter. What really makes you unique?

Superstar Secret #3: When you talk about your interests, focus mainly on sociable hobbies.

Potential dates want to envision how they'll fit into your life. If your hobbies are all things that are best done solo, like reading or surfing the Web for LOLcats, they won't be able to.

Superstar Secret #4: Use photos that spark conversation.

Action shots say more about who you are and what you're into, and they offer potential dates an easy way to start a conversation. Show off what makes your life exceptional.

Superstar Secret #5: Stay upbeat.

Positive profiles get way more traction than negative ones. Be positive about yourself, about dating, and about life in general. Negative tones are a big turn-off online.

Superstar Secret #6: Be honest.

Honesty is always the best policy online. A relationship founded on lies is no relationship at all. And even if you think you can keep up your lies online, they're going to be much harder to maintain once you meet in person.

Superstar Secret #7: Be specific.

The more clear you are on the type of person you want to date, the more likely you are to find them. And the more specific you are when you talk about yourself, the more likely they are to find you.

Superstar Secret #8: Spelling and grammar matter.

Poor grammar and spelling are turn-offs for a lot of people. A profile that's full of mistakes says 'I don't care enough about this online dating thing to make an effort.'

Superstar Secret #9: Update regularly.

Consider your online dating profile a work in progress. Keep your photos and information up-to-date to present the most accurate picture of yourself.

First there was Singlesnet. Then there was Singlesnet via Match.com. Now there's Kiss.com, the latest evolution of an online dating service that's been in business since 1997.

There was once a time when Singlesnet was the most visited dating site in the United States, but its popularity peaked in December 2008 and steadily declined until a major drop in February 2009. Despite the drastic drop in traffic, Match.com purchased the company in 2010 and Match CEO Greg Blatt had high hopes for the new acquisition.

"While Singlesnet's traffic is currently in decline," he said at the time, "we believe that by applying our category expertise we can reverse that trend, increase the site's profitability and improve the overall user experience."

Quinn Lipin, Singlesnet founder and CEO, was also hopeful that the new partnership would mean a brighter future. "Match.com has been the standard-bearer for the entire online dating industry, so we're excited to team up with them," he said. "I believe working with Match.com will enable us to re-start growth in the business."

Three years have passed, and the company has undergone yet another transformation. The site was rebranded for 2013 as Kiss.com, a sleek, simple, and streamlined dating site better suited to the current online dating climate.

The Kiss.com sign up process begins with an easy fill-in-the-blank questionnaire that makes completing your profile a snap. After you've answered the Mad Libs-style forms, you can then choose the hobbies and interests that most represent you from a selection of cute and colorful cartoon drawings. The list is surprisingly extensive (even pet rocks have an entry!). The same picture-style survey also answers questions about your beliefs regarding politics, religion, and astrology.

Finally, you're given the opportunity to answer in your own words. Two free-response questions let your creativity flow: 'If you only had 4 seconds, what would you say about yourself?' and 'What if you had an hour to describe yourself to someone, what would you say?' If you're not ready to answer every question just yet, you can hit the SKIP button at any point and come back later.

While the look of the site is different, the price structure has barely changed since it was Singlesnet:

• One month for $24.95
• Three months for $16.65 per month ($3.00 cheaper)
• Twelve months for $7.49 per month

Members who choose to upgrade their subscriptions receive better placement in search results, priority access to new features, and unlimited communication with both featured and non-featured members.

Will a makeover prove to be all Kiss.com needs to climb its way back to the top?