Focusing on First Impressions
- Tuesday, September 03 2013 @ 07:00 am
- Contributed by: Jet
- Views: 1,154
Everyone wants to be seen as interesting and multi-dimensional, and that can seem even more important when you’re writing a dating profile. After all, you can have a good time but be low-key as well! You can can dress down or up! You’re like one of those toys that can morph from an 18-wheeler truck to a refrigerator! But how to get that across in a limited amount of space?
The problem is, that “best of both worlds!” approach is sort of becoming a cliche. It should be a given that human beings are versatile, and we all have different sides to our personalities. Perhaps the most revolutionary approach to your profile might be to discard that approach altogether.
After all, a profile is the equivalent of a first impression, not a resume or a job application. Imagine a real-life first impression: you see someone in a public place - a concert? A bookstore? A microbrewery? - so you’ve only got a single location for context. The person that has caught your eye is wearing clothes; just one outfit, of course. After all, they’re a person, not a paper doll with an instant wardrobe of options. Thus, you’ve only got one outfit to see them in.
Once you approach them, you probably start off with some small talk appropriate to the venue and context you’re in. So far, everything seems very, well, one-dimensional. And yet, this is how we make friends and acquaintances every day. As you get to know them - maybe even in the space of that very first chat - other layers are revealed. But, most importantly, those other layers weren’t necessary to get you interested in the first place.
So think of your profile as your first impression. Try setting a scene instead of listing all of your interests. Your profile doesn’t have to necessarily stick to a theme, but instead of feeling like you have to encompass the broadest range possible, view too many extras as muddying the waters. Think about what you’d like someone to know about you first and foremost, and concentrate on that.
As dating is a very unique and personal experience, it’s possible you’ll want to switch up your profile later. But why not try an approach that’s a little out of the norm? By trying to prove you’re unique with many facets, you might just be sounding like everyone else.
The problem is, that “best of both worlds!” approach is sort of becoming a cliche. It should be a given that human beings are versatile, and we all have different sides to our personalities. Perhaps the most revolutionary approach to your profile might be to discard that approach altogether.
After all, a profile is the equivalent of a first impression, not a resume or a job application. Imagine a real-life first impression: you see someone in a public place - a concert? A bookstore? A microbrewery? - so you’ve only got a single location for context. The person that has caught your eye is wearing clothes; just one outfit, of course. After all, they’re a person, not a paper doll with an instant wardrobe of options. Thus, you’ve only got one outfit to see them in.
Once you approach them, you probably start off with some small talk appropriate to the venue and context you’re in. So far, everything seems very, well, one-dimensional. And yet, this is how we make friends and acquaintances every day. As you get to know them - maybe even in the space of that very first chat - other layers are revealed. But, most importantly, those other layers weren’t necessary to get you interested in the first place.
So think of your profile as your first impression. Try setting a scene instead of listing all of your interests. Your profile doesn’t have to necessarily stick to a theme, but instead of feeling like you have to encompass the broadest range possible, view too many extras as muddying the waters. Think about what you’d like someone to know about you first and foremost, and concentrate on that.
As dating is a very unique and personal experience, it’s possible you’ll want to switch up your profile later. But why not try an approach that’s a little out of the norm? By trying to prove you’re unique with many facets, you might just be sounding like everyone else.
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