Online Dating

Do you want your dates to be more intellectually stimulating? Do you get bored with conversations about where to eat or what movie to watch when you could be discussing political ideology or philosophy?

If the above describes you, and you prefer brains over beauty and boredom, then you might be interested in Match.com’s new partnership with the Mensa community. American Mensa and Match.com have teamed up to provide a dating experience exclusively for Mensa members, as well as provide all Match members access to some of the most intelligent people in the nation. 

According to Match.com, 80% of singles say they “must have” or find it “very important” to be with someone of the same intelligence level.  Additionally, 89% of singles would make a commitment to someone who was considerably better educated or more intellectual than themselves.

Because of the partnership, Match members will now have the ability to add a Mensa badge to their profiles to express their interest in the High IQ organization and will also have the opportunity to take the Mensa practice test for $1 at the Match.com Blog now through July 6, 2014.

While I’m not a fan of limiting your options when it comes to dating – everyone should meet a variety of people instead of just dating your type – it might be interesting to see how effective this partnership will be in creating lasting matches.

Match’s Chief Scientific Advisor Dr. Helen Fisher stated, “Why do we want a smart partner? Because intelligence is correlated with many benefits, including:  higher income; sense of humor; creativity; social skills; coordination; and problem solving. These are sexy.  Money can buy a sexy evening on the town. People everywhere gravitate to smart lovers, because an intelligent partner comes with a host of sexy perks.”

Daters with high IQs are not Match.com’s only focus. It was also recently announced that the company will be one of the first dating apps offered with Android Wearables; small, powerful devices worn on the body. So daters – there isn’t a need to constantly check your mobile device or computers. Instead, just look down at your wrist at your Wearable and check for messages, view and rate your daily matches, and find singles nearby. (Although I’m not really sure there’s much difference, since our phones are always in our hands anyway.)

Traditional online dating services are starting to branch out and appeal to new markets in order to remain relevant as new, trendy dating apps emerge. But Match.com seems to have a handle on its membership and continues to innovate. I’m curious to see what’s next.

It’s hard to imagine an Internet in which The Onion doesn’t exist. As far as satirical news is concerned, no one does it better. In a post from spring, The Onion took on online dating and…well…the results are exactly as hilarious as you'd expect them to be.

The Onion’s top tips for finding love online include:

• It’s important to choose an interesting profile picture that reflects the “real you” persona that you’ve cooked up, like a photo of you hiking or at a volunteer event.
• To stand out in a sea of suitors, include something in your profile completely unique to you, like your social security number and checking account information.
• Be willing to open yourself up to new experiences, like going on a series of terrible dates with men you despise.
• Personal details give potential dates a more accurate picture of who you are. Be specific in your profile by mentioning the exact episode and scene that made you give up on Lost.
• Humor is a huge asset in any dating profile. Be charmingly self-deprecating with lines like “I have a soft spot for reality television” and “I’m a bad listener because I’m wrapped up in my own childish self-obsession and do nothing to improve myself.”
• Remember to relax and have fun! Sometimes, the moment you stop worrying about finding that perfect match is the moment you’ll open your email and find an absolutely vulgar and disgusting email from a complete stranger.

So yes, they’re funny…but The Onion’s tips aren’t quite as useless as you think, as long as you’re willing to read between the lines. Look at it this way:

• Photos are a great way to show your personality without have to write about it, which can be tedious to do and boring to read. Choose photos that show you doing what you love, like playing an instrument, traveling the world, or attending a NASCAR race.
• Safety should be taken seriously. Don’t put any identifying information on profile. That includes everything from your phone number to your work address to, yes, your SSN and checking account info.
• Online dating doesn’t work unless you come to it with an open mind. Take a chance on someone who doesn’t immediately tick off every one of your boxes. You might be surprised.
• Including unique personal details is a great way to attract the attention of likeminded suitors. Not everyone will understand your Doctor Who reference if you’re a sci-fi fan, but the ones who do might be better matches for you.
• Humor is a huge asset in a dating profile…just make sure it’s actually funny.
• Remember to relax and have fun! Sometimes, the moment you stop worrying about finding that perfect match is the moment you’ll open your email…and actually find that perfect match.

See? The Onion’s dating advice isn’t nearly as useless as it should be.

Most singles might agree: we’ve become Tinder-obsessed lately. It’s so easy to flip through photos, rejecting and accepting as many people as possible. It’s become a bit of a sport, or an old game of hot-or-not.

Needless to say, while some people have found true love over apps like Tinder, the majority are still finding it hard to meet people and go on a real date. There seems to be too much choice, too many options for meeting new people. Few daters are focusing on finding a relationship or even dating one person because there are so many options out there.

Studies have shown that people are not great at dealing with too many options. In scientific terms, they become "cognitively overwhelmed." In other words, the more men or women there are to choose from, the harder it can be to pick just one. Kind of like going to a grocery store and choosing from 100 different types of chocolate. How do you really make a good decision about what to purchase?

Fortunately, a new crop of dating apps are addressing this dilemma by trying to give singles what they really want – a more manageable way to date, rather than more options.

CoffeeMeetsBagel is one such app, offering its members one match per day (every day at noon), and you have twenty-four hours to decide if this person is right for you. Matches are chosen based on your Facebook networks, so they are also on better behavior than those you could meet over Tinder and who have no accountability.

Hinge is another such app, offering anywhere from seven to fifteen matches per day to its users, depending on how many Facebook friends you invite to join. It works kind of like a referral service, but since you only get a limited number of matches, you have time to really consider your options and likely accept more dates. Plus, you have to have a friend on Hinge to be able to join, and both your first and last name are visible to your matches. So again, there is some accountability because of your Facebook networks – bad behavior isn’t going to be easily forgotten.

This less-is-more strategy also helps daters in terms of communication. Guys aren’t cutting-and-pasting mass emails to send to as many women as possible on the more selective apps, nor are women receiving many unwanted sexual advances from random guys. It is more of a formal approach, and one that is slow and deliberate.

Are apps like Hinge or CoffeeMeetsBagel for everyone? Maybe not, but if you’re a guy looking to meet women, these are the apps females are more likely to check out and join.

Everyone is looking for the next big app – specifically one that does something new and creative and captures people’s attention with a new type of communication, like Vine, Snapchat or Twitter have done. Dating apps are following suit - trying to engage a larger audience than just singles looking for dates - by creating a new type of experience. People are looking to their phones to connect – whether it’s friendship, hooking up, dating, or finding a relationship. So why not take advantage of the technology and see what clicks?

Many apps are leaning towards features that are more ephemeral in nature. People don’t want their comments and photos lingering on the Internet forever, so the appeal of showing and telling without the repercussions seems intriguing. After all, if what you say or do disappears in a few minutes or even seconds, wouldn’t you be more willing to try something new, maybe even more daring than in your real life?

Dating app Skout thinks so. Skout has been around for a while, and helps strangers meet locally based on GPS-matching much like many other dating apps. While it doesn’t have the popularity and user base of Tinder or the cache of Match.com, Skout is looking for new and innovative ways to capture more downloads and engage more people to help them connect. And the company (and its investors) are betting on a new messaging app called Fuze.

Fuze is a combination of group messaging and ephermerality like Snapchat. Once someone starts a “Fuse,” everyone else has three to ten minutes to respond. Once the timer goes off, all of the content inside the Fuse disappears and no one can ever see it again. So it creates a bit of pressure for people to engage right away or risk not getting a chance to speak.

The app also allows you to post anonymously, in what’s called “Ghost Mode.” While this seems to be a popular feature among apps, I can’t help but think that being anonymous means you say things that you wouldn’t normally say to others face-to-face, and creates more of a barrier to getting to know others than bringing them together.

Skout’s CEO Christian Wiklund says, “It’s almost like a dinner conversation. It’s contextual, based on who is around you right now. If the Fuse burns out, you can go onto the next conversation.”

Wiklund also says they launched Fuse separately so that Skout could be left clean, and not bogged down with a bunch of new features. They do however plan to promote Fuse through the Skout network.

Let’s face it – we all have a “type.” Whether he’s tall, dark-haired, and lanky or blond with ripped muscles, there is a physicality we are attracted to, and chances are, you might subconsciously think your ex resembles the dream guy of your future.

At least, dating website Match.com thinks so. Match has teamed up with Los Angeles-based matchmaking service Three Day Rule, a matchmaking service that uses facial recognition software to find matches for people.

Match.com members will be able to upgrade their current membership in the next few weeks to Three Day Rule’s premium service, which includes sending photos of your ex to show the “type” you find attractive.

But it’s not all about those dark-haired locks or muscles, at least according to Three Day Rule. Attraction is dependent on the shape of your ex’s face – and chances are, you’ve had more than one ex with the same face shape.

“It's not necessarily about height or race or hair color, but a lot of it is about face shape," Talia Goldstein, the founder of Three Day Rule, told Mashable. “I always ask my clients to send me photos of their exes. They say that they don't have a type, but when I see the photos, to me they look very similar. The ex's may be different ethnicities, or have different hair color, but their facial structures are the same."

The service isn’t cheap. In fact, at $5,000 for a six-month membership, it’s more expensive than eHarmony’s new personalized matchmaking service. The new upgrade will be marketed towards affluent singles who are interested in a more personalized touch, so in this respect, they are offering a bit more than just matches with similar bone structure to your ex. Premium members are assigned professional matchmakers, who coach the client, meet with them, get to know their preferences and engage in a “pre-date” with potential mates just to make sure they are what you’re looking for.

Along with the new service, Match.com’s database is growing too – with Three Day Rule clients becoming part of the mix, and even the matchmaker’s personal network.

Will matching members based on characteristics that remind them of their exes work? It seems there’s a reason you broke up with your ex. Would you really want to date him again?

Match.com seems to think so, and it’s a win-win for Three Day Rule who is only expanding their network. The major online dating sites are looking to cater to those who want a personal touch, who can afford more. But does this help or hurt online dating overall? Or do matchmaking services improve the experience for everyone? I guess we’ll have to wait and see.

To find our more about this dating service you can read our review of Match.com.

If you’re a lucky online dater, you’ll be going on a lot of first dates.

If you’re an unlucky online dater, you’ll be going on a lot of first dates.

Online dating is pretty much the definition of "double-edged sword." On one hand, it's exciting to go on so many dates and meet so many new people. On the other hand, it's totally taxing trying to get to know that many strangers. And the worst part about it is answering the same tired get-to-know-you questions over and over again.

You could be on a date with someone who is perfect on paper (or is that “screen?”), but the second they open their mouth and one of these questions comes out, you know you’re headed straight for Boredomland:

• What do you do for a living? “What do you do for a living?” is the first offender you're likely to hear. It's not that it's wrong to want to know, because of course getting to know someone means understanding what they do in their professional life, it's just that it's incredibly dull. In this same vein are questions like “Where did you grow up?” and “Where did you go to school?” They're all generic queries that sound more like a job interview than scintillating first date conversation.
• What do you do for fun? Again, it's not that you wouldn’t want to know how your date enjoys spending their time, it's just not a very memorable or exciting question. Your job on a first date is to set yourself apart, not to sound exactly like every other snoozefest your date has had dinner with. Besides, what are the odds that their answer will actually give you serious additional insight into who they are as a person?
• Why are you single? Ouch. Why does anyone ever think this question is a good idea? There’s pretty much no way to answer without feeling like a total failure for one reason or another. Also steer clear of backhanded compliments like "I can't believe someone hasn't locked you down already!" Thanks. Guess it must be because something is totally wrong with me.
• What kind of guys/girls are you into? Awkward. Irrelevant. Pretty much destined to end in disaster. At the end of the day, a person's "type" doesn't matter at all – all that counts is that they’re attracted to you. And if you’re on a date together, it’s safe to say you already know the answer to that question.
• Why did your last relationship end? No. Just no.
• Where do you live? Do you live alone? This is the part of the night when you start worrying that your date is a serial killer. If you’re lucky, all they’re doing is calculating the likelihood that you'll hook up that night. If you're not so lucky, there is a dark alley and an ax in your future.