Online Dating

Were you wondering who is most likely to reach out to you over social media or an online dating app? Social network and dating app Skout has combed its database to discover the types of people who appear to be the most social, at least online.

Not surprisingly, tall men are not only desirable, but also more sociable. According to Skout's data, the number of online friendships men have increases with their height. Short men (under 5’6”) have, on average, online connections with 11 people. Men of average height (between 5’10” and 6’) have, on average, online connections with 16 people, whereas tall men (over 6’3”) have an average of 17 online connections. (Note: Skout defines an online connection as a conversation initiated by one Skouter who receives at least one response from the other person. There could be additional conversations with the same person, but it would still be included as one connection.)

Women trend the opposite when it comes to height. Short women – under 4’11” – average online connections with 33 people, whereas tall women (over 6’) average online connections with less than half -  only 14 people. So ladies, if you are petite – you are in demand online!

An interesting finding that runs contrary to online dating stereotypes is that women who describe themselves as “curvy” or have “more to love” tend to be more socially active than their thin counterparts (28 connections on average, compared to 20 respectively). So if you’re thinking about dismissing or hiding your curves in your online dating profile, it is worth your while instead to show them off, reach out to people, and make more connections.

Bigger men however don’t fare so well. Men who say they are “athletic” and “muscular” are the most popular -  averaging connections with 19 people, whereas men who say they are “large,” “solid” or have “more to love” average online connections with only 14 people.

Age plays a role in most daters’ sociability, too. On average, 18-20 year-old who are just starting out in the dating game are very sociable online, with an average of 14 connections per person for women and 7 for men. People start coupling up or feeling jaded by the time they hit their twenties and into their thirties, with fewer connections than ever. By the time people reach their forties, they have picked up the pace again, and tend to have the highest number of connections – 16 on average per person for women and 8 for men.

The study was compiled over a six-month period with over one million Skout users in the U.S.

Popular dating apps like Tinder and Grindr have a reputation of being so-called "hook-up" apps. While more and more people are turning to dating apps to meet singles for long-term love and/ or a casual affair, this trend appears to coincide with a rise in the rates of syphilis and HIV, too.

Public health officials in Rhode Island released a health report last week stating that there has been a 79% rise in syphilis cases in the state between 2013 and 2014, and that it’s attributable in part to the use of social media and dating apps to arrange casual or anonymous hookups. People having unprotected sex, multiple sex partners, and having sex under the influence of drugs and alcohol were also cited as reasons for the increase in STDs.

“These new data underscore the importance of encouraging young people to begin talking to a doctor, nurse, or health educator about sexual health before becoming sexually active and especially after becoming sexually active,” Rosemary Reilly-Chamma of the Rhode Island Department of Education said in the report.

A rise in STDs, particularly HIV and syphilis, were also reported in New York, Utah, and Texas, where officials have warned of increased risk of transmission. The New York City Health Department announced earlier this year that men in the neighborhood of Chelsea had the highest infection rate of syphilis in the country.

Anindya Ghose, co-author of a study that monitored the rise of STDs along with the launch of Craiglist personals ads, believes that online dating apps have had a similar effect. "Basically what the Internet does is makes it a lot easier to find a casual partner," he told VICE News. "Without the Internet you'd have to put effort into casual relationships, chatting with someone at the bar or hanging out in places, but these platforms make it a lot more convenient and easy. That's essentially what the primary driver is."

Others disagree, citing a lack of education and resources, especially for young people, the largest group at risk. They argue that community health providers, doctors, and even schools should educate people about the risks of not using condoms and other protection when engaging in casual sex. Access to condoms and affordable healthcare are two big concerns.

Social media and dating apps make it easier to meet people, but they didn’t create the problem of STD risk. They magnified a problem that already existed – casual sexual encounters without adequate knowledge of safety and protection leave people vulnerable to risk.

Young singles in Iran have long been using Western online dating sites to meet each other, with over 300 operating within its borders. But now, the government wants to get involved in residents’ personal lives by creating its own online dating website – drawing users away from Western sites, which are perceived to encourage sex before marriage.

The move is prompted by a growing divorce rate among young couples – especially those under 30 – which has the country’s leaders concerned. Government officials link the high divorce rate to the “immoral” tendencies of the way Western dating sites operate, which they perceive are intended for more casual hook-ups. So now, the government is appealing to young peoples’ technologically-savvy tendencies to push their own agenda among online daters. The big question is: will it actually attract users?

In a country where Internet access and social media is tightly controlled by religious authorities, it seems an unusual step for the government to jump on the online dating bandwagon. The Iranian government has long been weary of online dating sites, but now with rising divorce rates, they want to turn things around.

The challenge comes with the dating site itself – hamsan.tebyan.net is run by the Islamic Development Organization, an institution under the supervision of the Supreme Leader that “promotes the Islamic lifestyle,” according to a report by the BBC.

Basic profile information is not shared among users – including pictures, hobbies, and interests like favorite movies or food. Religious authorities deem this type of sharing as “immodest.” Instead, users are only able to see things like a match’s height, weight, and parents’ professions.

There are some government-approved dating websites that operate in Iran, which offer for a young couple to meet and date under the supervision of a cleric, typically in the cleric’s office. The couples’ parents can be brought in if it seems there is likely a match to be made.

Single residents of Iran used to Western online dating sites are skeptical of the government-run site. One told BBC Persian: "Matches would be chosen by the people running the website, and I can't trust that they would make the right decision. Other websites have arithmetic that match candidates according to their likes and dislikes, but this one is entirely arbitrary," he said.

Right now, the service only operates in Tehran, but the government plans to open it to other cities.

Your knight (or lady) in shining armor could be waiting online. Or your next hookup. Or even your new best friend. But so are identity thieves, hackers, and other unscrupulous folks who range from not-so-nice to downright nasty.

Online dating is like a playground. Most people you meet are good. They're out there to have fun and meet each other. But a few of those people are bullies, and your best bet is to steer clear of them.

One of the biggest online dating bullies is the catfish, a person who pretends to be someone they're not and uses that false identity to lure others into deceptive online relationships.

How do you investigate a potential date if something feels fishy? It's time for some digital research. It might seem creepy at first (and if you were stalking your ex, it would be), but in this case you get a pass. You have to take care of yourself, and a good offense is the best defense.

Look for the following red flags during your investigation:

• Their profile looks like it was put together in 30 seconds. The profile of a serious dater should look like time and effort went into it.
• They don't have social media accounts. Maybe they just think they're being radical by staying off social media. Maybe. But it's far more likely in this day and age that someone who doesn't have any social media accounts doesn't exist.
• They have more than one profile on a single social media site. How many Facebook accounts does one person need? Answer: one. More than that could mean something suspect is going on.
• Their social accounts have very few friends. Most of us are on social media to be social. If an account only has a handful of friends, you have to wonder what else it exists for.
• Their photos don't look right. Are they all modeling photos with no pictures of activities? Has no one else posted a photo of them? Are there no signs of family or friends in any of the pictures? Are their photos completely devoid of tags? These are all possible red flags.
• They contact you outside of your dating service. You've been chatting on OkCupid and suddenly they reach out to you on Facebook. Time to take a step back and reconsider who you're talking to. Even if they're not a catfish, that move shows a poor sense of boundaries.
• Their profile is copy/pasted. Some scammers get lazy and use the same info for multiple profiles, or steal the info from real profiles. Run a Google search to see if the same text pops up in multiple profiles. You can also run a reverse image search to do the same for photos.

If you see any of these signs – or worse, a cluster of them – you may be better off backing away.

You've heard of wearing your heart on your sleeve, but how about wearing your heart on your wrist?

Purchase an Apple Watch and you could do exactly that.

Tim Cook called the gadget Apple's “most personal device yet,” so naturally developers jumped at the chance to make it even more personal. The smartwatch won't only shake up how we keep time, but perhaps also how we find love on-the-go.

Several of the biggest players in the online dating game were quick to introduce apps when the Apple Watch launched back in April. Match.com, OkCupid, and Tinder (coincidentally – or not – owned by the same parent company) all released apps designed for the device. Each one is an easy extension of your regular online or mobile dating activity.

But it's not just the biggies who are getting in on the ground floor. A few lesser-known dating services have also sprung up for the smartwatch.

1. Watchme88: This watch-first app helps users meet other users nearby in real-time. Set your preferences (gender, location, age) and when a match shows up within the specified radar, both Apple Watches start to glow. If you're shy, you can send your match a message or a wink before approaching in person.
2. Jack'd: Jack’d claims to be the first Apple Watch app for guys looking to meet guys. Users receive notifications in real-time whenever their profile is viewed by someone nearby. The app also offers key insights on who’s viewed your profile and other revealing stats.
3. The Inner Circle: Think you have what it takes to be part of the inner circle? If the answer is yes, try out this app, which prescreens members to “maintain the highest quality.” The Inner Circle has been featured in Cosmopolitan, Men's Health, ELLE and more.
4. PlanetRomeo: PlanetRomeo claims to be one of the world’s largest online dating and social platforms for the gay/bi male and transgender communities. Use your Apple Watch to browse profiles, read messages, and save users to your favorites so you'll be notified when they're online.
5. Close Encounter by 3nder: Feeling adventurous? Try a “real-time blind dating app for open-minded people.” The app does away with profile photos to focus on personality. Your watch will vibrate when a potential match is nearby, then you can decide whether to reveal your location. Close Encounter doesn't exist quite yet, but you can read more about its proposed features on Medium.

Or maybe you're not into the big names or the underdogs. In that case, you have a solid middle-of-the-road option in Coffee Meets Bagel. The company released an Apple Watch version of its popular app that simplifies the dating process by focusing on only one potential match each day.

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