Online Dating

With online access to virtually everything, we have become accustomed to getting what we want quickly. Instead of driving from store to store, we find exactly what we need searching the Web.

Because of our ability to find anything online – including a date – we have taken this to mean that the perfect date can be made-to-order. We are no longer bound by our circles of friends and family, but have access to virtually anyone in the world we want to meet (provided they are also online). Which means we can filter out the types of people we don’t want based on age, location, political beliefs, height or weight, or any of a number of factors. But this also means that we miss out on opportunities.

Online dating is marketed as being convenient and easy – you can meet anyone with a swipe of the screen or by accepting a match. But really, dating is the same as it ever was. As I state in my book Date Expectations, meeting someone is the easy part. The next step – getting to know someone over a series of dates – is where the connection really counts. But too often, we aren’t willing to wait to get to that part. Instead, we crave instant attraction or chemistry or we walk away. There is no in-between, because it’s too easy to move on to the next person.

If we scroll through people in real life, rejecting and judging before we’ve even gotten to know them, we miss out on forming any real connections. Sure, chemistry is fantastic, but it’s not lasting or a real indication of the success of the relationship. Real connection takes time.

Far too often, people aren’t what they seem when you first meet them. This isn’t saying they misrepresent themselves, but rather, they are putting on a bit of a performance trying to be the ideal date. Maybe they tried really hard to be witty, or they were so nervous they could barely form a coherent sentence. Or maybe your date had a bad week and isn’t really trying to make a good impression. In other words, who you first meet isn’t necessarily the person you get in a relationship. It takes a few dates to peel away the layers and see if there is a connection.

In other words, we have to try and be more patient when we date. It’s not a race to the finish line, or looking for instant connection, or assessing someone’s worth as a potential spouse – instead, it’s a process. Like anything worth having in life, it requires time and effort. It requires something of you – namely, to leave yourself open to possibility and to take your time navigating your way, rather than trying to fight off the currents by rejecting as many candidates as possible to get to the “right one.” The right relationship happens thanks to two people willing to see where things might lead.

Is there an online dating downer worse than finding out your new flame looks nothing like their profile picture? Total letdown, right? As online dating offenses go, it's high on the list.

Zoosk devised a solution to this all-too-common problem back in 2014. The feature, dubbed Photo Verification, confirms the authenticity of members' profile photos. If your photos pass the test, you receive a green Photo Verified badge.

Photos are verified under the Verification section (surprise) of your profile. Select Verify Photos and you’ll be prompted to record a short video of yourself. Zoosk’s moderators review the video and, if they feel your photo is an accurate representation, you'll receive an email letting you know that your photos are verified. The badge will automatically be added to your profile and your video selfie remains private.

The Photo Verification feature made Zoosk the first company to address this prominent online dating concern. With its launch came newfound levels of transparency, increased trust between online daters, and better first-date satisfaction.

“One of the most important concerns of online daters is going out with someone who doesn’t really resemble their profile picture,” said Shayan Zadeh, co-founder and CEO of Zoosk. “By innovating a system for our members to validate the accuracy of existing profile photos, we believe we can create better first-date experiences that will lead to lasting relationships.”

Photo Verification will now take a starring role in Zoosk's “First Comes Like” advertising campaign. “The message from our last campaign was successful in differentiating us from other sites,” Katherine Knight, brand manager for Zoosk, told Marketing Daily. “For our new campaign, we wanted to build on that and take it to the next level.”

The “First Comes Like” initiative highlights the fact that building a lasting relationship requires time, and that “love at first sight” is rare. In one ad, a woman uses Zoosk's mobile site while a voiceover explains the message of the campaign. Another 15-second spot hones in on the photo verification feature, showing a man trying to identify his date in a crowded coffee shop using the Zoosk app.

“Everybody wants love to be a big, huge fairy tale. But the reality is, before all that can happen, you have to fall in like first,” said Tony Zimney, creative director at Muh-tay-zik Hof-fer, the agency that created the campaign. “Each one of our spots highlights this moment of like.”

The commercials will begin airing nationally in the beginning of July.

Plenty of Fish announced on July 1st that POF.com now is a responsive website. With regards to websites, the term “responsive” refers to the websites ability to change the layout of the site on the fly to better accommodate the screen size the person is using to view the website. For example someone viewing a website on a laptop could see a site that has multiple columns with a lot of text and images. When someone views the same website on their phone it most likely would be one column with less images and a bigger text font used to make reading easier. There is more to responsive but that is the basics of what it does.

Before it was responsive POF.com would serve the same webpages for mobile as desktop. This wasn’t bad on a tablet as the dating site is very usable on this size of screen. On a phone though a user would have to scroll around the screen to see different parts of the page. Going responsive allows mobile users to have a more app like experience when using POF.com.

For more on this very popular dating service please read our POF review.

On Sunday June 14^th, people across America were acknowledging Flag Day, an annual tradition, over social media. Coincidentally, it was also the annual celebration of the LGBTQ community – an event known as Pride. So when Coffee Meets Bagel reached out via social media to announce its support of Flag Day, the online dating service mistakenly caused an uproar because of a typo.

The now-infamous tweet which was widely criticized over social media and the subject of a story in the Washington Post, said: “It’s Fag Day. Hoist your colors and don’t forget to LIKE today’s Bagel.”

People on the East Coast were the first to catch the mistake, but many didn’t realize it was a typo and immediately took to Twitter to denounce the dating service, with one person posting: “Got a notification from @coffeeMbagel saying today was "fag day." I'm disgusted at the audacity to say that during pride. #coffeemeetsbagel.”

Many people weren’t aware of Flag Day, but they were aware of Pride celebrations, which made the typo even worse. They thought the company had posted the tweet on purpose.

Coffee Meets Bagel took down the post after they realized the typo. But thanks to the speed at which social media can influence a story, and the incredibly bad timing that the typo happened during Pride, the company had little chance to correct the error. They have since been apologizing and repeating that it was just a simple mistake.

About three hours after the notification went out, users received an e-mail from the company’s head of customer experience apologizing for the misspelling. It reads, in part:

“I would like to apologize wholeheartedly for the message you received this afternoon. The misspelling of Flag Day was a mistake and a complete oversight. We’re updating our process to ensure something like this does not happen again…Coffee Meets Bagel, as a company and as individual employees, celebrates the LGBTQ community and would never use such a word.”

While it might just be a simple oversight, the bigger question is: will it hurt CMB in the long-run, if people associate their brand with a lack of support of the LGBTQ community?

We have all sent emails and social media posts with typos – this isn’t uncommon. What is a shame in this instance is that a company sent an official tweet meant to show support of both Flag Day and the LGBTQ community, and yet, ended up alienating their customers and potential customers in the process.

Many of us have anxiety when it comes to first dates. After all, you’re expected to make a good impression in front of a total stranger. But what happens if you say the wrong thing, or there’s a pause in the conversation?  Or what if you’re not feeling so attractive or desirable? These things can affect the date itself, and how you feel about the person you’re meeting.

You don’t want to start off on the wrong foot. But it’s also important to approach it with a sense of humor and non-attachment, so that your anxiety doesn't take over.

Like with job interviews, sometimes first dates just take a little practice. They are a way to see if you have a connection – not if you can impress another person so much that they’ll fall instantly in love with you.

The mistake many of us make is that we think there should be instant chemistry on a first date, so it makes the pressure to create the chemistry even greater. But chemistry can take time to build, and often happens only when we show our vulnerabilities, when we decide to be honest in the moment and share our truth. That allows your date to open up more to you, too.

Following are some tips to help take the pressure off of first dates – and hopefully create an environment for connection:

Pick a location where you can feel comfortable. Instead of going for the latest trendy bar, or an expensive foodie experience, think of where you like to spend time. Is it at a museum, or low-key cafe, or at the brew house down the street? Pick a place that is enjoyable for you – it helps ease an already pressure-filled situation.

Pick an activity instead of a coffee date. Sometimes even the idea of sitting across from a stranger and trying to come up with witty conversation is just too daunting. Instead of putting yourself through that, take the pressure off by engaging in an activity. Go for a hike, or bike ride, or outdoor concert. Whatever you decide, it will provide you with something to talk about and ease the pressure to impress.

Invest some time – don’t date back to back. Some people life to be efficient and schedule dates back to back in blocks of "free" time. But this can create anxiety as well – and you never really enjoy each date because you’re looking at the clock. With a good date, you are totally in the moment. So don’t overschedule – or you set yourself up for failure.

Choose an outfit that makes you happy. Uncomfortable heels aren’t a requirement on a first date. If you love your Converse, dress them up with a flirty summer dress. Don’t be afraid to show off your style, and try to wear something you’ve worn before. If you feel good and comfortable in what you wear (and not constantly pulling up your bra straps, for instance), then you are more relaxed on the date.

IAC is no doubt a leader in the dating market, with such prominent online dating brands as Match.com, Tinder, and OkCupid, which make up a company subsidiary called The Match Group.

The Match Group has announced its plans to launch its first IPO, making the company available for investment dollars from the general public. Match.com has long been a cash cow in the online dating industry with its paid subscription service, and Tinder with its new premium paid service has been reported to be worth about $1 billion by the end of the year. In fact, the combined revenues of all the companies in The Match Group accounted for nearly one third of IAC's overall revenue in the most recent quarter. They're also growing rapidly, surging 13% year-over-year in the most recent quarter to about $239 million.

Greg Blatt, Chairman of The Match Group said in a statement: "The Match Group is poised for substantial growth in the coming years. The dating industry has come a long way since its inception, but the category remains underpenetrated.  We believe the combination of our more established businesses such as Match, Meetic, and OurTime, and earlier stage businesses such as Tinder and OkCupid, creates an attractive combination of significant cash flow generation, strong margins and meaningful growth potential.” 

This comes at a good time, as Zoosk recently pulled its plans to launch an IPO, leaving the dating space wide open for potential investors. Ashley Madison, a dating site for infidelity, was quick to throw its hat in the ring, too. They are planning a second attempt at an IPO for later this year after a forfeited attempt in 2011.

The Match Group joins other prominent and publicly traded online dating services, notably Spark Networks, which owns several niche dating sites such as JDate, Christian Mingle, and BlackSingles.com, as well as Jiayuan.com, the largest online dating site in China.

After the IPO, investors will be able to buy stock in the company, although the ticker symbol is not yet known. Notably, IAC made the decision to split The Match Group from its parent company to do the IPO.

Barry Diller, IAC’s Chairman and Senior Executive said in a statement: "As many know from our actions over the last 20 years, I'm not a believer in simply agglomerating assets in perpetuity.  I've long felt that as entities grow into size and maturity it's healthy to give them separation and independence from a mother church.”