Online Dating

A recent article in The Wall Street  Journal pointed out the importance of using correct grammar in your online dating profile. According to surveys done in recent years by dating websites OkCupid and Match.com, grammar is by far one of the most important aspects of an online dating profile. If you mix up “your” and “you’re,” many daters will move on to the next.

But why is this? Aren’t people more concerned with great photos, as we’ve seen with apps like Tinder and Grindr? Why should online daters care about how people write – it isn’t necessarily an indication of who they are in real life or how great a match they would be. Besides, aren’t most daters attracted to physical appearances rather than writing style?

Apparently not. Match.com found that 88% of women and 75% of men in their survey of 5,000 singles said they cared about grammar most, putting it ahead of a person’s confidence and teeth.

The WSJ attributed this trend to the rise of dating apps and the common use of text slang, with abbreviations like YOLO (You only Live Once) replacing standard phrasing and sentences. While messaging has now become more of a convenience than an art, grammar has fallen by the wayside, and one way to make yourself stand out among the millions of other daters out there is to approach communicating with someone as though you put in some effort. After all, most dating apps don’t require much more effort than a swipe.

In other words, think about your professional life and how much time and care you put in to communication with your bosses and co-workers. When you send an email to a group of work colleagues, chances are you spell-checked it before pressing the “send” key, and most likely it isn’t filled with acronyms for every common phrase. If you apply the same protocol to online dating, it might seem a bit formal at first, but it definitely scores you more points. The person receiving your message is more likely to take you seriously because it looks like you have put in more time and effort.

In other words, you come across as smart and caring. Thoughtfulness goes a long way.

Grammar has been important in the online dating scene for a while, even before the popularity of texting and dating apps made bad grammar much more common. Dating websites like Match and eHarmony encouraged users to use complete sentences in their profiles and check for spelling errors. Wouldn’t you be turned off if someone you didn’t know turned in a report or emailed you with a couple of brief sentences, rife with misspellings?

A little effort goes a long way.

When you think of dating apps, likely you think of Tinder. And while Tinder continues to attract volumes of daters along with a lot of investment dollars, and is the one most people are familiar with, other app developers have been patiently waiting on the sidelines growing their businesses. Now, at least one is realizing the benefits.

Happn is just such an app, raising a $14 million Series B round through investment companies and individuals. The interest in the app is due to its explosive growth. In a very short time, the company has gained 6 million users and expanded to 25 countries. A year ago, the company had raised $8 million, and had only 200,000 users.

Happn was created in France, and uses a different technique than just GPS and swiping based on mutual interests and likes. Instead, it focuses on your real-life interactions, or – more specifically, interactions that never took place, but maybe you wish they had.

Happn works like this: if you pass someone on the subway as you’re going home from work who catches your eye, but didn’t have the courage to talk to him/ her, you can check your Happn account. If that person is on Happn, his/her profile will be added to the top of your feed. You are given an opportunity to connect again in real life, just by swiping right. If you mutually match, you can start chatting with each other.

The more you swipe through Happn’s potential matches, the further back you go in time. It is the ultimate app for romantics and star-crossed lovers, because it is offering you the ultimate second-chance on people you meet who strike your fancy, but for whatever reason, you didn’t connect that first time.

When Happn first launched Business Insider wondered if it wasn’t a bit creepy – like looking up someone you don’t know just because you caught her eye on your way home from work. Would it be a form of stalking? But Happn insisted its app was based on the idea of romantic love and serendipity – two things that only happen when two people see each other face to face. Why not give everyone a second chance at love?

It seems people agree with the notion of serendipity, and have gravitated to the app. With all the articles on “the dating apocalypse” and how online dating has become synonymous with casual hook-ups – which are decidedly NOT romantic, it is important to see that people do still crave a little mystery, a little romance. And they are still looking to dating apps like Happn for help.

When you swipe right on someone’s profile, you have a good idea of your physical preferences and what kind of person you are attracted to. Maybe you like a certain body type or hair color or height, but after that, it gets a little more complex. Maybe you like a particular person’s smile, or that they seem to have a wicked sense of humor or arty style in their photography.

While swiping is making it easier to go through profiles and accept or reject someone at whim, is it becoming more automatic the longer we swipe? Are we careful in our choices, or do we casually and without much thought say yes or no? Do we want someone (or something) else to do the swiping for us, someone who knows our preferences as well or even better than we do? It would save time and effort, but do we want to disengage from matching entirely?

At least one researcher is asking the question. He thinks we can be consistent enough in our picks that a computer can pick up on what we like and do the swiping for us. And why shouldn't this be an option?

Harm de Vries, a post-doctoral researcher at the Université de Montreal, thinks computers would make excellent choices on our behalf, and set about proving it with a recent study.

According to an article in PC World, De Vries scraped 10,000 photos from Tinder and gave a computer his opinion of 8,000 of them. Then he let the computer determine his likes and dislikes for the remaining 2,000, thinking this sample was reflective and large enough to be pretty accurate. Unfortunately, it managed to be right only 55% of the time. In other words, it wasn’t much better than closing your eyes and swiping arbitrarily.

De Vries decided to test a larger sample, so he pulled almost 500,000 photos from OkCupid. With a greater number of images to work with, the computer achieved a higher success rate – 68% - but still managed to correctly agree with only two out of every three choices made by DeVries.

Still, De Vries is hopeful that computers can assist in the decision-making process. He thinks even services like Twitter can benefit from computer learning, which is still pretty accurate even compared to human learning. "One of my friends who collaborated with me got to learn my preferences and he managed 76 percent accuracy, so even for humans it's pretty hard."

Choosing who we are attracted to is not an exact  science – we are all attracted to people that don’t necessarily have our “favored” characteristics, like dark hair or an athletic body, but they can still possess something that we find very compelling.

The point is – do we want to control our choices, or have a computer just do it for us?

What is love in the time of Tinder and marriage in the age of Ashley Madison? You've heard the critiques. Detractors say Tinder encourages shallow hookups at the expense of meaningful relationships. And Ashley Madison... well, we all know how well things are going for them lately.

But it's not all bad news. Despite being one of the earliest players in the online dating game, eHarmony remains one of its strongest. Founder Neil Clark Warren sat down with Bloomberg to discuss how the site remains relevant despite the increasingly competitive landscape.

Warren shared some impressive stats about eHarmony. The site boasts over 66 million users and is responsible for around 2 million marriages. It's divorce rate is only 3.86%. Its fastest growing demographic is 25-35 years old. Sixty-two percent of users now come through mobile platforms. eHarmony even saw 80,000 new users sign up in a single weekend. Clearly, growth is not an issue for the company.

As to competitors, Warren feels eHarmony has nothing to fear from services like Tinder and Ashley Madison, because they're designed for difference audiences. Tinder users tend to be young and Ashley Madison users are typically not looking for long-term relationships. eHarmony, on the other hand, primarily serves older users who looking for serious partnerships.

That's not to say eHarmony is lazy in its approach to business. The company works hard to keep up with the rapidly changing online dating market – lately, for instance, by bumping up its security measures. “We've never been so serious about security,” says Warren. “We're spending several million dollars a year to make sure our security is as solid as it can be.”

eHarmony also keeps things fresh by introducing new features. Most recently, the company has announced plans to enter the professional world with a careers platform called Elevated Careers, expected to launch by December. The aim is to apply what eHarmony has learned about playing cupid to the workplace, using algorithms and other assessment tools to match applicants with their dream jobs.

Warren notes the far reaching implications of the career matchmaking service. Today only 30% of Americans say they like their jobs. If eHarmony can successfully help users find better employment opportunities, Warren promises a revolution in America – one in which people are happier in their professional lives and, in turn, happier in their personal lives.

All in all, Warren is feeling confident about the company's future. “eHarmony has never been in better shape,” he says.

Dating app Hinge is taking after OkCupid by collecting its user data and publishing results that might help people better connect. The latest report outlines the best pick-up lines among users of its app – and as it turns out, the way to a woman’s heart might just be through her stomach.

To conduct the survey, Hinge recruited copywriters and data analysts to compose 100 original openers, and sent them to 22 percent of Hinge users, who were then given the option of sending these openers to their matches. After studying eight million impressions, trends began to emerge. Some were expected - daters who want to connect should definitely avoid generic statements like 'Hey, what's up?' as an opening line, for example. The data was refined and categorized to give more in-depth info about who was responding—including their gender, age, and location across the U.S.

Results of the month-long experiment showed the most effective conversation starters for women include food references. For instance, a guy could ask a question like: “Chocolate, red velvet, or funfetti?” referring to cupcake preferences, or “Best discovery: Netflix or avocados?” for example. Hinge noted that “women are 40% more likely than men to respond to openers that are food-related.”

Men were most responsive when asked out directly, and particularly if those messages were assertive (the types of messages most women don’t like, which should be noted). For instance, if a woman put herself out there and confidently asked “Drinks soon?” or “Free this week?” men were 98% more likely to respond favorably.

Males were also found to have shorter attention spans: If they don’t receive a response to a message within six hours, a quarter of them will drop out of sight, compared with only five per cent of women.

As far as age groups, the 35 and older crowd prefers pop culture references. For instance, they responded best to “Katy Perry or Taylor Swift?” or “Bears, beets, or Battlestar Gallactica?” The 20-somethings preferred introductions about lifestyle with lines like: “Better adventure: Rock climbing or scuba diving?” or “Sunday priorities: Exercise, sleep or aggressive mimosas?” The 18-23 age group seemed to prefer novelty questions like: “Pain reliever personality: Advil, Tylenol or complaining?” and “You’re having your portrait painted – what’s your backdrop?”

Regional responses varied too, with folks in Los Angeles preferring entertainment-related questions (no surprise), and users in the Mid-West liking the 90’s references.

Hinge connects people through Facebook circles, and is available for both Android and iPhone. For more on Hinge, you can read our review.

A pork lover's dream, a vegetarian's nightmare. The online dating world's newest app is also one of its strangest: Sizzl, a dating app for bacon lovers.

It was bound to happen at some point. People love dating. People love bacon. A melding of the two is a natural progression. Oscar Mayer is the genius brand behind the app and sure, it's a gimmick, but that doesn't mean we can't love it. There's a niche dating service for everything else. Might as well be one for fried pork strips, too.

iOS users (sorry Android fans, no sizzling for you) can download the app and sign in with Facebook. You're then tasked with answering a series of questions about your taste in bacon. What kind of bacon do you love the most? How do you like your bacon cooked? What would you do if you were with a date and there was only one piece of bacon left?

After you've answered these important philosophical queries, you can start searching for a sizzling Saturday night date. The app takes the familiar Tinder approach to matching, using GPS to find other app users locally or nationwide. But don't expect a swipe. Sizzl is way more fun.

Sizzl users indicate how much “sizzle” they feel for each other by holding a finger down on a heart-shaped button. The longer you press, the more the screen pulses with bacon-y colors (that is, if you're will to put your bacon greasy paws on it in the first place). If two users “like” each other, they are directed to an in-app messaging platform and can set up what Oscar Mayer is calling "bacon-wrapped dates." Oy.

If you happen to run across someone who doesn't actually love bacon (blasphemy!), you can report the trespasser by clicking a button on their profile picture that says "Doesn't love bacon." It all sounds like a joke, but according to Oscar Mayer marketing director Eric Dahmer, the app is the real deal.

"In love, as it is in bacon, it's important to be discerning when selecting your perfect match and to never settle for less than the best," Dahmer says in a statement. "We passionately cure our bacon for 12 hours, and lovingly smoke-house it for another 12, making it the true bacon for bacon lovers. With the launch of Sizzl, we're thrilled to give our true bacon lovers the chance to find each other and potentially meet their soul mates, in life and in bacon."

Step aside, “must love dogs.” “Must love bacon” is the new catchphrase in town.