Online Dating

Since 2013, the use of dating sites and apps has nearly tripled among Millennials, according to Pew Research Center. Even amongst less tech-savvy generations, dating services are relentlessly popular. In 2016, if you’re single and not using one, you feel as old fashioned as the great-grandmother who saves rubber bands in case of another Great Depression.

Dating apps are ingrained in the fabric of modern romance. They can boost confidence, provide entertainment, help the single and apprehensive get back in the game, and - oh yeah - even facilitate real, lasting relationships.

But they can also have a downside. Dating app burnout is a real thing, and you may be experiencing it without even knowing you are. That’s why we now have App-less April, an oh-so-modern holiday dedicated to getting away from your screen for 30 days.

Participants delete their apps for the duration of the month to recharge, reevaluate, and come back refreshed. Although April has almost ended, it’s never too late to join the app-less masses until May. Here are 3 reasons why you should.

1. You rarely meet people offline any more. Remember when people met IRL? When dating apps seemed like a supplement to “real” dating? You don’t have to ditch your apps forever, but it’s a good idea to make sure your in-person flirtation skills aren’t too rusty. You never know when they might come in handy (or who you’re missing out on by never giving them a try).
2. You’re feeling disillusioned. When you’re a dating app virgin, everything seems exciting. Hundreds upon hundreds of amazing people are at your fingertips, anxiously awaiting your swipe. Then reality sets in. Messages go unanswered. You’re inundated with one-word hellos, terrible jokes, and sexual puns. You discover what ghosting is. Pretty soon you’re just using your app out of habit. Don’t sink time into dating if your heart’s not in it.
3. Your apps are taking over your life. Tinder, Hinge, How About We, Bumble, Coffee Meets Bagel… there are nearly endless options and some singles are on all of them. You may think you’re increasing your odds of finding someone special, but what you’re really doing is drowning. A 24/7 obsession with your smartphone isn’t healthy for anyone. Spend the extra time during App-less April catching up on sleep, picking up a new hobby, or - if you’re feeling especially adventurous - meeting people in real life.

Remember: this is a temporary separation, not a break-up. You and your apps are just taking some time off. Come May, you could be ready for an enthusiastic reconciliation or you might decide you’re better off apart. Either way, App-less April will help you decide what’s best.

In today’s visual world, we put a lot of thought into how we look online. The perfect selfie is only perfect because 27 selfies have been taken before. Instagram filters are layered on until the subject looks more alien than human. And when it comes to choosing photos for your online dating profile, no shot ever seems good enough.

But what if your images aren’t the most important part of your profile? Zoosk surveyed more than 9,000 singles about their online dating dealbreakers with surprising results.

Seventy-two percent said spelling errors are a major turn off, while forty-eight percent said poor grammar is a buzzkill. Knowing the difference between “you’re” and “your,” “then” and “than,” and “who’s” and “whose” wasn’t just important on your seventh grade exams - it could be keeping you single.

Zoosk, who is currently ranked in the top 3 on DatingAdvice.com, found a variety of other interesting facts about spelling and grammar online as well:

1. Don’t fear the period. Previous studies have found that using a period at the end of a sentence can come off as aggressive or insincere online, but Zoosk’s users were mostly in favor. Ninety-three percent said they’d be happy to receive a message with proper punctuation, including the controversial period.
2. Exclamation points are welcome (in moderation). First messages that contain exclamation marks receive a 10% higher response rate. But beware, because they’re also a case of too-much-of-a-good-thing. Use excessive exclamation points and you’ll sound like you’re yelling or disingenuously excited.
3. Women are more concerned with grammar than men. While a significant portion of both sexes find poor grammar to be a turn off, it’s a bigger issue for women. Sixty-five percent of female Zoosk users said it’s a dealbreaker compared to 40% of men. Women were also more likely to assume that poor grammar is a sign of being uneducated, unintelligent, and lazy.
4. Correct grammar becomes increasingly less important over time. Users over the age of 45 are the most forgiving where poor grammar is concerned. Forty-three percent said it doesn’t really mean anything  in the grand scheme of things.
5. It’s not always hip to be hip. Using trendy internet acronyms doesn’t necessarily make you look cool. “YOLO” caused a 47% decrease in response rates. On the other hand, “LOL” increased response rates by 25% - presumably because the recipients were charmed by their suitors finding them funny.

On that last point, Zoosk relationship expert David Pedersen encourages a balance between slang and traditional language.

“While abbreviations such as YOLO and LOL are more popular with millennials, these phrases are becoming more common beyond that demographic and slipping into the everyday vernacular,” he said. “These pop-culture phrases could very well become accepted over time, after all, some of them are starting to be included in Oxford’s dictionary! However, there will always be those individuals that appreciate the use of proper English to abbreviations."

According to The New York Times’ story last year on the current (and dismal) state of dating culture - dubbed the “Dating Apocalypse” - most Millennials using dating apps are just looking to hook up. In this feature story, we read several personal anecdotes from New York singles who were struggling with Tinder, ghosting, and meeting people who had a general lack of interest in serious relationships, which left us feeling like the world of online dating was scary and hopeless.

Turns out, this isn’t a very accurate portrayal of today’s dating culture.

A new study from one of the largest online dating services Plenty of Fish (POF) released a report this month based on over 800 survey respondents ages 18-33 (who also happen to be Millennials). These findings reveal that an overwhelming majority – 75% of Millennials to be exact – are looking for a serious relationship. This means, most are not looking for one-night stands, but real relationships.

In addition, another recent article in The New York Times flips this notion of hook-up culture on its head. Instead of taking Tinder to task for promoting hook-ups in dating, the reporter interviewed couples who had met on Tinder and later married, and even some couples who were expecting their first child after meeting over the notorious app. The conclusion is that Tinder is much more than a hook-up app, and yields successful matches for many members despite its reputation.

Tinder has been associated with hook-ups and the downfall of dating culture, but single people gravitate to it to meet people outside of their own social circles. It is the app with the largest user base, the app that most people have heard of, and because of its unique position, most people are willing to give it a try – simply because there are so many people using it.

The irony is, while some people are using it as a hook-up app, the majority of daters – including Millennials - are using it to seek out serious relationships. Despite the media claim that daters are stuck in a “casual dating” culture whether they like it or not, singles these days are still looking for good old-fashioned love. Dating apps are just a way of finding the right person, despite the superficial methods of swiping left or right based on a few photos.

Dating app culture might just be about convenience – we are always on our phones, and it’s easier to just swipe through photos rather than spending hours reading lengthy profiles. In fact, most of the long-standing dating sites have now launched apps that are more convenient and user-friendly, with photos front and center.

So the next time you are hesitant to try a dating app because you think that people are only looking for hook-ups, remember that 75% of the people you swipe through are looking for love, just like you. For more on the dating services mentioned you can read our POF review and our Tinder review.

Norway’s consumer authority has spoken out against Tinder’s current terms and conditions by filing a formal complaint against the company.

The Norwegian Consumer Council insists that the popular dating app is not protecting its users, granting sweeping ownership rights and control over users’ data. Some of the terms and conditions Tinder users agree to when downloading the app include allowing Tinder change its terms without notifying users, and allowing the app to delete users’ accounts without justification. The Council also points out that users aren’t allowed to delete their own accounts if they want to (which could allow Tinder to inflate their own numbers by potentially counting inactive profiles).

While these policies are spelled out in Tinder’s current terms and conditions, most people aren’t taking the time to read through or really understand how their data could be used. And Norwegian authorities want to call the company out on the practice.

Another sticking point for Tinder according to the Council is that the minimum user age is listed at 13, which country officials consider too young, especially when it comes to understanding complicated online privacy issues.

While Tinder is arguably the most successful dating app, its popularity soared in part because the app was free for those who downloaded it. Access to data from its user base is one of the ways Tinder can make money. A revenue model they use includes offering targeted (data-driven) marketing.

According to a recent article in Fortune, this isn’t the first complaint about app and social media privacy policies from governments outside the U.S. In France earlier this year, the consumer organization UFC-Que Choisir asked French data protection authority CNIL to investigate dating app Happn over its data-collection practices. And the German antitrust authority launched a complaint against Facebook over its “unfair” terms and conditions, on the premise that it is dominates the social networking market and has an unfair competitive advantage.

While Tinder doesn’t have a European operation, it does offer the app in Norwegian language and it is available in Norway’s app store, so it does have to abide by the country’s regulations when selling to its market.

If Norway’s officials consider the case against the company, it may order Tinder to change its terms and conditions or face penalties. Tinder said it makes every effort to comply with local and national regulations. The company released a statement that read: “If and when authorities bring up larger privacy concerns, we always take them into consideration and, if applicable to our users, take steps to implement any necessary changes. We are committed to protecting our users’ privacy and strive to uphold a fair and trusted privacy policy.”

For more information on this dating app please read our review of Tinder.

eHarmony is offering a 3 day full trial of their service. Just sign up for a subscription from April 21st to April 24th, 2016 and use the coupon code FREE to receive 3 days of full access to eHarmony. This code is valid in the United States and Canada on the eHarmony website and dating apps (iOS and Android). Once the 3 day free trial is over you will then be auto enrolled into a 3 month plan (unless you cancel before the 3 days is over).

eHarmony is one of the top dating services where members find long term relationships. A recent study by Consumers' Research found that 57% of eHarmony users found a relationship, with 29% of eHarmony users relationships lasting longer than 1 month. eHarmony has put a lot of time and effort into developing their in-depth matchmaking algorithm so once you signup as a member take your time and answer the relationship questionnaire. It will take about 30 minutes to do so and once completed you will receive your first set of matches in minutes.

For more information about this popular online dating service that specializes in long-term relationships, you can read our eHarmony review.

You turn to OkCupid for casual dating, Tinder for hookups, eHarmony for long-term love, and Ashley Madison for illicit extracurricular activity.

Or do you?

You may think you know which dating services are best for different kinds of relationships (and you’re probably very opinionated about it), but how do your favorites actually stack up when put to the test? A new survey by Consumers’ Research sought to find the dating app that is most likely to lead to a long-term relationship.

The educational organization looked at four popular online dating services for its research: Tinder, Match, eHarmony, and OkCupid. The two most popular options by far were Tinder and OkCupid, which comes as no surprise to anyone who reads the news. Consumers’ Research also found that tech savvy Millennials prefer to use multiple dating apps, instead of just one, to increase their odds of stumbling across someone special.

Well over half of the survey’s participants reported that they ended up in relationships for at least some period of time after using an online dating site or app. The question is, which service is most effective if you’re looking for a long-term relationship?

1. Match.com: The number one spot went to Match.com by a significant margin. Thirty-eight percent of users said they’d had a relationship that began on the site that lasted longer than a month. Thirty-three percent reported having relationships that lasted longer than six months. You can find our Match review here.
2. OkCupid: OkCupid landed in a respectable second place. Thirty-two percent of users had made it past the month mark with someone they’d met using the service. You can find our OkCupid review here.
3. eHarmony: Although they portray themselves as the go-to destination for serious relationships, eHarmony only secured third. Twenty-nine percent of users reported having a relationship of one month or more. eHarmony is the leader though with the most relationships formed by users of any dating service at 57%. You can find our eHarmony review here.
4. Tinder: In a confirmation of the prevailing sentiment, Tinder scored the lowest for those looking for a relationship that lasts. Only 13% reported relationships beyond the one month mark. You can find our Tinder review here.

The Consumers’ Research survey also examined online harassment. User experiences largely ran along gender lines, with around 57% of female respondents and only 21% of male respondents reporting experiencing harassment. The highest reports of harassment came from Tinder and OkCupid users at 39% and 38%, respectively.

Your best bet for avoiding the frogs and finding the princes (or princesses) is to be outgoing and proactive. The survey showed that while the majority of online daters average fewer than six new attempts to connect per day, those who send more messages end up in relationships more often. Increased interactions are linked with greater likelihood of winding up in relationships (of any length). Moral of the story? Get on Match and start messaging.