Online Dating

Your dating profile has three things that must be remarkable for your profile to get clicked - your screenname, your default picture, and your headline. If one of those is sub-par, then the other two must be extra awesome to make up for it! However, so often dating profile headlines are lackluster.

"I don't know what I'm doing here..."

"Single librarian seeks book lover"

"Looking for a fun person"

You don't have to have a boring headline like those. Really, you can have better. The first step toward a better headline is this: Do not write your headline before you write your profile. Go back and read that again. I know that on the page where you're filling out your profile, the box for the headline comes first, but you'll have to hold back those OCD tendencies and SKIP IT for now.

Write your profile first. Once you've perfected the back cover of the Book of You, then it's time to go back to that empty space and put in your tantalizing headline. Tie it in to something you've written in your profile. So for example, if you've recently taken up skiing and talked about that in your profile, you can make your headline: "Graduating from the bunny slope!"

You can also tie your headline into the type of person you'd like to meet, but avoid the usual cliches when possible. Tarzan seeking Jane, Lancelot seeking Gwenhyfar, Harry seeking Sally.... all have been there, done that. Go for something a little more obscure that ties in with an interest you hope your match would have (For Star Trek fans, Jadzia Dax seeking Worf).

Bring up an activity you hope to share with your match - "Bears fans - apply here!" (Of course, you leave yourself open to being passed by if folks aren't into your activity of choice.)

Still not feeling it? The final option for a headline that works is a snippet of a poem or song lyric that means something to you. (Do not pick a depressing song!) You can choose to post it with credit or see if people catch the reference - I enjoy doing the latter because it tells me that the person shares the same tastes as me (or they're good at Googling!).

Remember that a remarkable headline gets your profile clicked. The more clicks you get, the more chances you have of The One stumbling on your profile and finding you!

A couple of weeks ago we talked a bit about eHarmony's seven new profile questions which dealt with common traits and interests (see Story). Last week eHarmony posted a bit more information about this feature called Something to Talk About. As the name suggests, this feature is designed to highlight what each profile has in common and to help matched couples by breaking the ice and giving topics of conversation. When you view a match and if you share some common interests, you will see these interests appear in the area titled "Something to Talk About".

For more on the feature, visit the official eHarmony Blog. Tto find out more why this is such a popular matchmaking service, read our eHarmony review.

Unfortunately Spark Networks has continued their downward trend. Revenue for Q2, 2009 was $11.2 million, which is a 25 percent decrease when compared to $15 million from Q2, 2008. This is also a 7 percent decrease in revenue from Q1, 2009. Revenue dropped due to continued declines in subscriber numbers from JDate and the General Markets dating sites. Average paying subscribers for Spark Networks as a whole in quarter 2, 2009 is 163,217. This is a 3 percent decrease when compared to the last quarter and a 14 percent decrease when compared to the same quarter last year.

JDate saw revenue drop 18% to $7,1 million when compared to the same quarter in 2008. This is the result of subscribers falling 10 percent to 82,769. The Other Affinity Networks had revenues which totalled $3.3 million and 65,409 subscribers. Compared to the same quarter last year, revenue fell 3 percent while subscriber numbers increased 3 percent. General Market Networks saw the worse of it. Revenues dropped 68% to $701,000 and subscribers fell 58% to 14,022 when compared to quarter 2, 2008.

The planned decrease in revenue for General Market Networks is largely attributable to an 85% decrease in the marketing spend for this segment in the second quarter of 2009 compared to the same period in 2008.

For the full 2009 Q2 release visit Spark Networks News Room.

Related Story: Spark Networks First Quarter 2009 Financials

No matter what dating site you choose, you'll need a screenname or username. For a couple sites, this name will never see the light of day (other than on the login screen), but for most, it will have a prominent place in your profile. What can you do to make sure it speaks volumes about who you are?

Things to Avoid

Do not use your real name as your screenname. This opens you up to being stalked by those crazy people who can't handle rejection. The last thing you need is for these folks to show up at your front door, or worse yet, your place of employment.

Don't end your screenname with a bunch of numbers. This has become a popular theme with spammer recently (especially on Twitter), so unless you want to be thought a spammer or robot, don't use names like John122483 or Suzie32801.

Avoid sexual innuendo unless your profile is on a site that caters to casual encounters.

The Screenname Formula

Can't think of a cool screenname? Try this little writing game. Grab a piece of paper and write down 5-10 adjectives that describe you. Make a second column and write 5-10 nouns that describe you or things you like.

So for example, I might have:

Adjectives: Curvy, geeky, friendly, purple, goofy

Nouns: Cat, dragon, writer, iced tea, blogger

Now, put those adjectives and nouns together in as many combinations as you can. So, I'd have CurvyCat, CurvyDragon, CurvyWriter, CurvyIcedTea (lame!), CurvyBlogger, GeekyCat, GeekyDragon, GeekyWriter, GeekyIcedTea, GeekyBlogger... etc, etc.

You're going to end up with more lame ones than good ones. However, you'll either find a perfect one, or you'll get the inspiration for the perfect one! Whatever you do, be creative and fun - your screenname is one of the first things noticed about your profile, so make it remarkable!

First the largest free dating site PlentyOfFish.com, decided to offer a paid upgrade service 6 months ago (see Story) and now the second largest free dating site, OKCupid is doing the same. Members who upgrade their free membership on OkCupid are called A-List users. As an A-List user you get the following 10 perks:

• The ability to attach photos to messages.
• Create both public and private photo albums (reminds me of an adult dating site).
• Store up to 5000 messages.
• Send messages to users who have a full inbox.
• Save multiple search settings.
• Access to A-List forums.
• Ads removed from the website.
• Advanced search features.
• Give awards to other users and read and write reviews about them (testimonials).
• A little more exposure (you may be placed in the special A-List Matches column of results).

A few of the perks have left me scratching my head. First of all I am not sure why someone would want to store 5000 messages. I know there are some OkCupid fanatics who will want this but, it is not really a selling point for general use users. Sending messages to users who have a full inbox is also a little weird, at first I thought, why would I want to send messages to someone who doesn't even check their mail? On my second read through, I realized this feature is aimed more for users who file away all messages they receive (for the 5000 message users) and not for the user who's mailbox is full because he never logs in.

In terms of advance search features, A-List members can now filter by Match Questions, Data Persona and Popularity Ratings. You can also custom order your search results by personality traits. Another nice feature is the Similar Users option. If you have found someone you liked and they are already taken you can use this option to find other people who are just like them.

The cost to become an A-List user is $9.95 USD per month and you will be auto billed every month until you cancel. The first 1000, users are also offered a free T-Shirt in a number of different colors. I was offered one today when I visited the signup page. Dave over at Online Dating Insider blogged about OkCupid A-List users on August 12th, which was 5 days ago. I guess this means that the A-List user memberships are not really flying off the shelf yet.

It appears that free dating sites are hitting a wall in terms of revenue generation. Online advertising dollars were in decline before the economy turned south and since then, we have seen the 2 largest free dating services start to offer a paid membership on their websites. Both of these dating sites offer their paid members some useful feature but I think they missed the point of online dating, as I had mentioned in a previous post about Plenty Of Fish going paid. Users of online dating sites want to be noticed. They are on a dating website for a reason, to find a partner. The best way for a dating service to do this is by displaying their profile to more interested members. Both dating sites visibly mark members who have upgraded but as far as I can tell none allowed me to search just for these type of members. I also think these members should be displayed higher in search results than free members (if they fit reasonably within the search criteria). This not only would give upgraded members more responses, it is also a winning scenario for free members since they would be seeing members who are most actively seeking a partner first.

To find out more about this dating site, read our review of OkCupid.

Every dating site has its own spin on the dating profile format. In this series, I'll take a look at some of the different profile formats and how you can write your best profile for that particular service. Lavalife.com offers a few different profile options. You can choose from Dating, Relationship, or Intimate. (Why they call casual sex "intimate" I have no idea. I'm pretty sure you can't be "intimate" with someone you barely know. You can have sex with them, but that certainly doesn't make it "intimate." Anyway....)

Three Profiles

Beware! When you first sign up for Lavalife, you will have all three profiles activated. If you have no interest in casual encounters, you will want to delete your "Intimate" profile. Likewise, if you have no interest in long-term relationships, you should delete the "Relationship" profile.

The Writing Portion

There is only one open section to write in for a Lavalife profile, and that's the one that is originally presented to you as "tell others about yourself" during the sign-up process. Once you move into editing your profile, this field changes and is called "In My Own Words." This is the place where you'll want to talk about who you are and the type of person you'd like to meet. Keep it short and sweet and tell a story that others will want to join in! Think about the last book you purchased. You probably read the back cover (about 300 words) and thought, "Wow, I really want to read this!" If your profile reads like the back cover of a book, it should convince people to pick you up! (Pun intended!)

The great thing about having a couple different profiles (Dating/Relationship/Intimate) is that you can edit the "In My Own Words" for each one separately. I recommend having both Dating and Relationship active and test-driving different profile texts in each to see which gets you more results. Internet marketers do this with sales pages, why not do it with your dating profile?

Fill-Ins

Each type of profile also has some interests and fill-in-the-blank type questions to fill out. Dating and Relationship have the same interests list. I like the fact that they've given you the ability to select whether you enjoy participating in or just watching sports. So if you play softball but love watching football, you can be clear about that in your profile. Very handy!

Pictures

Lavalife offers the ability to upload up to 30 pictures and select which pictures appear with which version of your profile. This is a great way to keep your profile fresh if you happen to have 30 recent pictures. Since Lavalife will hold them for you, you can alternate and swap them out until you find the combination that seems to get you the most results!

Here's hoping that you find someone to click with you at Lavalife!

For more information on the dating site mentioned in this article, read our Lavalife.com review.