Online Dating

Having used various online dating sites for the past seven years, there’s really not a lot I haven’t seen come across my inbox. From winks from other women (daring, I applaud you) to hate mail, I’ve taken the time to read each and every message people have been brave enough to send my way. But I didn’t respond to all of them. Mostly out of a lack of time, but other times, there just wasn’t anything I could find to say that was…right. So, from a girl who has used online dating to all of you guys out there, here’s some insight as to why I didn’t email you back.

Grammar and usage. Anyone who took the time to read my profile will know that I’m a writer for a living. Grammar and usage are high on my list of “needs” from a partner. Granted, that’s not everyone’s strong suit. I get that. But when your email to me looks like you dropped the Manhattan yellow pages on your computer keyboard and hit “send,” I’m pretty unimpressed. If you’re not a great speller or even writer, take the extra minute to write your email in a word processing program (or even over in Gmail or Outlook) that has a spell check feature. Copy and paste the proofed email into the online dating site’s form and then click send. I’ll thank you a million times over! By not doing this, you’re telling me that you don’t respect what I do for a living. I’ll understand if you’re not Hemingway if you understand that I need you to understand the difference between “your” and “you’re.”

Larger singles do not necessarily have an easy time dating online or off. MSNBC wrote about several women who are plus sized and are online looking for love. Both women, Christie Hyde (age 33) and Cynthia Colby (age 55), tried most of the popular dating sites between them, including Match.com, eHarmony.com and PlentyofFish.com with no luck. They did not hide the fact that they where over weight and mentioned it in their profiles and included photos of themselves. They did communicate with men on these dating sites but, sometimes before a first date, when they reminded them in a email messages about their size, they never heard from them again.

An assistant professor of communications at California State University, Laura Triplett, studies fat discrimination. She found that in a lot of cases once a plus sized women meets a potential match in person, societies taboo's take over and she is rejected. With online dating, Laura recommends using niche dating sites that promote overweight singles. She also suggests not to include your weight or your size in your profile. You should focus on other positive features about yourself.

For more on this story, read Today MSNBC and to find dating sites which cater directly to plus sized singles, check out our new Plus-Size Dating category.

It’s the first thing people see: your online dating profile photos. They are nothing less than your business card and resume and you want to make sure that your potential matches are seeing the best “you” possible. Your smile, your goofy side, you in action during your favorite activities – no matter what the photo shows, it should always show you. But did you know that there are things that your dating profile photos should never show?

Another “date” cropped-out of the picture. I have no doubt that you look stunning in those pictures from the wedding or baseball game you went to with your ex-whomever. Your potential matches want to envision themselves in a picture with you, not try to figure out who’s cropped-out of your pictures.

Your children (if under 18). While they may be the apples of your eye, it is unsafe to have your minor children in your online dating photos. Your photos can allude to the fact that you enjoy family by showing you at the playground or your kids’ sporting events, but no photos of you with your children. People in your life should have to earn your trust prior to being introduced to your most prized companions. Keep them safe by keeping their identities safe. Hundreds of people may look at your profile pictures on any give day, and this puts your children in an unsafe position.

People Media, a provider of online dating communities like BlackPeopleMeet.com and SeniorPeopleMeet.com was ranked on Technology Fast 500, Deloitte LLP`s ranking of 500 of the fastest growing technology, media, telecommunications, life sciences and clean technology companies in the US and Canada. People Media came in at number 359. Ranking is determined by the percentage of fiscal year revenue growth during a five year period. People Media grew 342 percent during 2004 to 2008.

To check out some of People Media dating sites, read our review of BlackPeopleMeet.com and our review of SeniorPeopleMeet.com.

In a surprising move, eHarmony is having a Free Communication Event (not weekend) starting Wednesday October 21 to, and including Sunday October 25. Normal free communication weekends at eHarmony are usually only 4 days long and start the Thursday or Friday. With this next one 5 days long I am sure eHarmony is bracing for the surge of new members.

This eHarmony communication event allows all members to not only review their matches but communicate with them as well for free. The only option you can't use is FastTrack. FastTrack allows members to bypass the 4 step guided communication process and go instantly to email messages.

This is Free Communication Weekend number 20 for eHarmony. The last one was held in September on the Labour Day weekend (see Story).

Read our eHarmony review for more details on if this is the ideal dating and matchmaking service for you.

Let's face it. We all have certain physical qualities that we find attractive and others that turn us off. I often have male clients asking me "How do I say 'No fatties' without saying 'No fatties'?" (This is extra ironic because by their definitions, I am a fattie.)

But this issue encompasses a lot more than weight. There are people who don't find skinny people attractive, or who find artificially colored hair gross, or who would never date a Republican or an atheist or someone who owned more than one cat.

How do you make your desires known without coming off like a rude person? It all boils down to one rule: