Online Dating

Much has been said about online dating's transition from stigmatized service used only in the shadows to full-blown pop culture trend. The term "meteoric" has never been more appropriate. Online dating's rise to total world domination has been unprecedented...and we might have mobile to thank for that.

With the equally meteoric rise of mobile dating, online dating has become a social activity - one that people are happy to discuss in public in a way they've never been before. Tinder turned public perception of online dating on its head, especially for the young people who primarily make up its userbase.

It's not unusual to see friends using the app together, sharing images and messages amongst the group, or sending each other screenshots of especially notable Tinder chats. It's what people talk about on the bus, what they use to pass the time while waiting in long lines, and what they turn to when they're feeling awkward at a party. The online service is rapidly becoming integrated into our offline lives, and no one is embarrassed about it.

Though all online daters have benefited from the attitude adjustment that came along with Tinder, one group may be discovering some very important bonus benefits: women. Traditional thinkers say that women only want relationships - they're not interested in casual dating and would never judge someone on appearances alone. Yet 45% of Tinder users are women, and they seem perfectly comfortable with the app's low-commitment approach to relationships and reliance on physical appearance.

Tinder's non-profile profile offers up very little information (all culled from Facebook) about users, meaning it disproves a second common stereotype: that, unlike superficial men, women require detailed information about men before deciding if they're interested. The stripped down profile also prevents users from feeling exposed in an uncomfortable way they might on an online dating site. If you haven't spent hours on a meticulously crafted profile that digs into the heart of the "real you," rejection hardly feels like rejection.

There's also the message problem. Female users on online dating sites are famously bombarded with messages from admirers, an overwhelming experience that turns many off from online dating as a whole. But Tinder users can only receive messages from people they've indicated an interest in, and the app doesn't allow users to send photos (meaning unsolicited scandalous pics are kept at bay). It's a perfect solution.

And then there's the final plus of Tinder: it's fun. It manages to be silly, exciting, intriguing, and socially acceptable at the same time. Online dating has yet to crack that code.

The winter Olympics in Sochi this year may get a little cold - but not for the athletes. According to various reports, they are looking for a little love and warmth using mobile dating app Tinder.

The dating app has become a popular activity to try during down time in Olympic Village where the athletes congregate. The app is location-based so you can find other singles in the hotels next to yours - no matter what country they represent.

The app works easily and has taken off in the U.S. All that is required is a Facebook account, which populates your Tinder profile with photos, age, and location details. Other Tinder users can scroll through photos - swiping right for yes and left for no. When two people match (that is, they both swipe right), they are put in touch with each other and can message quickly.

According to Today.com, the three American skiers who swept the medals in slopestyle last Thursday, Joss Christensen, Gus Kenworthy and Nick Goepper, all admitted to being on Tinder. But does all this activity take away from their concentration on the games?

Kenworthy notes: "For me it's definitely more the game aspect that's fun,'' he said. "Who you think's hot, see if they do, too. I'm not sure how much further it goes than that for me."

Tinder founder Sean Rad told the Wall Street Journal that they noticed a 400% day-on-day increase in new users since the start of the Olympics. Apparently the athletes are starting a trend among young daters who might not have used the app previously.

Tinder however is primarily used by Americans in the Olympic Village, so there's not much hope of hooking up with someone from another team. Christensen admits it's "a little weird" to see his fellow teammates on Tinder. Goepper however keeps his options open and swipes right more often than not, so he's had some success during the games. "I've gotten quite a few notifications that say: 'this person wants to kiss you'," he tells Today.com.

And what about members of the media who are in Sochi and on Tinder? According to some athletes, they don't want to engage with any media employees over Tinder, and prefer to stick with the other athletes. But that doesn't mean that young media employees are doing the same - they prefer to meet athletes, American or otherwise.

The Olympics have a history of hook-ups between athletes that go on behind the scenes, so it's no wonder that Tinder plays into the lore so well. So the question is - what will be the dating app of choice for the summer 2016 games?

Christian Mingle, a popular niche dating sites for religiously inclined singles, learned that one of its members was swindled out of a substantial amount of money from another user of the site.

A 66 year-old divorcee from Santa Fe revealed that she had been emailing with a man through the site who wooed her with flowers, text messages and phone calls. Pretending to be a U.K. citizen named David Holmes who was working on a Scottish oil rig, authorities discovered the suitor was actually Nigerian. According to authorities involved with the case, he did not seem to have a noticeable Nigerian accent.

The Santa Fe woman wired money to Holmes in increments at first totaling $300,000. She contacted authorities after she sent her last check for $200,000 to a Turkish bank account. A hold was placed on the check, and soon after a man named Wisdom Onokpite turned up to withdraw the funds. He was arrested, and authorities assumed they had caught the scammer, but it turned out he was only an associate sent to collect the money. The suspect calling himself David Holmes is still at large.

The woman claimed she had given more than half a million dollars to Holmes to invest in a fictitious oil rig. Authorities confirm they were able to get some of the money back, but not all of it.

Deputy District Attorney Cherie Bourland warned that people need to be more careful on international online dating sites, especially older daters who seem to be the target of a majority of fraud cases.

"You get the love drug in you and you end up getting duped," Bourland said.

As for daters on Christian Mingle and other online dating sites, it's good to use caution and common sense when interacting with strangers. Following are some tips to avoid being catfished yourself:

Don't share personal information. Don't give out your last name, home or work address, or any other personal information to someone on an online dating site. Remember that you don't know each other, and the person behind the profile could be lying.

Don't share financial information. This is especially important, because typically online daters who become victims of fraud do this after they have had some communication and built up a sense of trust. But if an online dater asks you for money, remember: always say no, even if your suitor is wooing you with phone calls, flowers, or messages of love. If you haven't met in person, be especially careful of declarations of love.

Meet in a public place. Never meet an online date at your home, always meet in a public place. You don't know this person or his intentions, so don't take unnecessary risks. Also, let a friend know where you are. Be safe and have fun!

Our smartphones have changed the way we do...well, pretty much everything...and dating is no exception. Some people remain dating purists, committed to only communicating via phone call, abiding by the 3-day rule, and never, ever using an app to meet someone. Others have fully embraced the new technological era, and are probably swiping their way through matches on Tinder as we speak.

I have no doubt that both sides have valid points, but frankly I prefer to consult someone (or in this case, something) a little less biased: research. A new study examining mobile's impact on dating and relationships has shed a teeny bit of light on how our smartphones affect our love lives. Here's what the study found:

• To call or not to call? That is the question. When asked, women tend to say they prefer men to call before meeting face-to-face, while men say they feel a call is too forward. The data, however, tells a slightly different story. Around 1/3 of both sexes agree that it's less intimidating to ask someone out via text, although 68% of singles say they still want to chat on the phone or in person to schedule dates. We modern techies typically type, but seeing as confidence is widely considered to be the most attractive trait in a partner, maybe the text is doing us a disservice. Perhaps we should opt for the proactive approach and pick up the phone.
• Stop with the 3-day rule already. If things didn't go well on your date, put everyone out of their misery and end things sooner rather than later. Just do it like the nice, responsible adult you are, please - don't be one of the 50% of singles who said they would consider breaking up with someone they were casually dating with just a few swipes on screen, or the 24% who said they would end an exclusive relationship via text. On the other hand, if things went well, make your feelings clear in low-pressure way. A simple thank you text sent within 24 hours of a good first date keeps you on your date's radar and opens the door for further flirty conversation.
• Your smartphone speaks louder than words. The iPhone vs. Android battle is fierce, and it turns out which side you fall on reveals insights into your personality and behaviors. Android users are apparently the politer daters - more likely to pick you up at home, pay for the first date, and send a post-date text. They're also more trusting of their partners - nearly 50% said they would allow someone they're dating to look through their phones!

So are smartphones good or bad news for our love lives? It's hard to tell. But what we do know is that they aren't going anywhere any time soon, so we're far better off learning to love them as another tool in our dating arsenals.

Trust PlentyOfFish to come up with a headline as provocative as "New Research Study: The Most Desirable Singles Of 2014." They certainly have a flair for drama, I'll give them that. And I couldn't help taking the bait...I'll give them that, too.

POF wondered who was getting the most attention on the site, so they deployed their research team to analyze the messaging data from over 81,000 user profiles and 1.8 million messages among the 25 to 35 age group. Their mission was to uncover the leading indicators determine whether a user is more or less likely to receive a message. The good news is: the study actually has some good news.

"Women are no longer interested in the bad boy who doesn't want to settle down," the study reports, "and men are increasingly seeking out educated women who are financially independent." Good news, indeed. On the other hand, gender roles are still firmly intact: "women still place high importance on a man's income and men still give precedence to a woman's age and body size." Not such good news, but there's always hope for change.

Key findings from the study include:

• Women between the ages of 25 and 26, receive 14.4% more messages.
• Women who are 33 years old receive the fewest number of messages.
• Women who have a graduate degree receive 6.45% more messages.
• Women who are Catholic receive 20% more messages.
• Men who earn between $100,000 and $150,000/year receive 42% more messages.
• Men with doctorate degrees receive 33% more messages.
• Men who want children receive 23% more messages.
• Those who 'Prefer Not to Say' if they want children receive 21% fewer messages, and those who "Don't want children" receive 42% fewer messages.

Put it altogether, and you've got a pretty clear picture of the ideal man and woman for 2014. The ideal woman is Catholic, thin and 25 years old. She has earned a graduate degree of some kind. She is a dog owner who drinks often or socially. And she has been in a relationship for at least 3 years, but not longer than 8 years.

The ideal man for 2014 is Christian with brown hair and an athletic build. He has earned a doctorate degree and now makes between $100,000 and $150,000 per year. And, perhaps most importantly, he is actively looking for a relationship.

Much to my surprise, I'm finding myself unexpectedly un-offended by the findings. I was expecting completely unachievable standards...instead what I got was a bar that's set high, but doesn't feel completely impossible. Is the study crazy? Am I?

To find out more about this dating site you can read our Plenty of Fish review.

First off... Happy Valentine's Day everybody 😊

We are a day late with this notification (sorry about that) but eHarmony in the United States, Canada and the United Kingdom are all having free communication for 5 days. It started yesterday (Feb 13) and runs to the end of the day on Monday Feb 17.

Free communication weekends are easy to participate in and no credit cards are required. First you must sign up to the service and create a free membership account. Next you will take the Relationship Questionnaire. The questionnaire is an important part of the process since all of your matches will be based on the answers you give here. Be as honest with yourself as you can (I know it is hard) and you can expect it to take you from 30 to 60 minutes. Once completed eHarmony will then send you your first batch of matches. Once you find a match or two you like you can start the guide communication process with them and see where it takes you. Free communication events on eHarmony does not include secure call communication, skip to email, or photos.

Besides the first week in January, this weekend is the busiest time for online dating since Valentine's Day reminds singles of their relationship status. If you are 35 years or older, looking for a long-term relationship, and you are someone with at least a college education then you will fit right in on eHarmony.

For more on this popular matchmaking dating site you can read our eHarmony review. In the United Kingdom eHarmony is slightly different so it has its own review. You can find the eHarmony UK review here.