Online Dating

Maybe you’ve heard the statistics, but if not – pay attention, and turn on your spell check. Correct grammar usage and spelling goes a long way when you’re online dating. In fact, according to recent studies by online dating site Match, bad grammar is one of the biggest turn-offs for men and women – a close second behind poor hygiene.

In other words, make sure you know the difference between "your" and "you’re" before you message a potential match.

Website Grammerly did its own collection of data regarding dating and grammar usage, and came up with some interesting findings. As it turns out, people aren’t only aware of grammar mistakes – they pay attention to the specific words you use, too. Some terms are more attractive than others when you’re writing messages or an online dating profile.

For instance, men who use the word “women” rather than “girls” in their messaging are 28% more successful at getting responses. And those who use the word “whom” correctly do even better – they are 31% more successful than those who use it incorrectly.

Men are a little easier on women overall, but there are certain phrases they don’t like. When women use the words “divorce,” “separate,” or “my ex” they receive 4% fewer messages than those who don’t. (So maybe save your dating histories for the actual date, ladies.)

Spelling can be a big deal too, at least for women. Guys – if you have just two spelling errors in your profile, you reduce your chances of a response by 14%. As for the ladies? Men just aren’t so picky – spelling errors don’t affect their chances of getting a response. (Which may explain why women make nearly twice as many spelling, grammar and punctuation mistakes in their messages and profiles than men---it doesn’t seem to matter as much!)

Some other fun stats:

• According to OkCupid, women receive 17 times as many messages as men – which may explain why they can be picky, but don’t have to watch their spelling and grammar mistakes.
• Both men and women rate grammar as more important than confidence in online dating.
• Eighty-eight percent of women judge their dates’ grammar mistakes, compared to 84% who judge their dates by their level of confidence. For men, it was 75% and 69% respectively.
• Men use 21.9% more words than women do in their responses to questions                regarding their online dating profiles.
• Roughly 11% of American adults (24  million people) have used an online dating site or app

Bottom line: check your messages before you hit “send” – it could make a huge difference in your online dating success.

Seeking assistance in the search for love isn't new. From professional matchmaking services to blind dates arranged by friends, human have long sought help in finding soulmates. It's no different in 2016, but these days our efforts are more tech savvy.

According to a survey published by the respected Pew Research Center, 15% of all Americans used online dating sites or mobile apps in 2015. In early 2013, that number was 11%. Broken down, it looks like this:

• 12% of American adults have ever used an online dating site, up slightly from 9% in early 2013.
• 9% of American adults have ever used a dating app on their cellphone. The share of Americans who use dating apps has increased threefold since early 2013 – at that point just 3% of Americans had used these apps.

The Pew Research Center found that online dating's growth has been especially strong with two groups: the youngest adults (ages 18-24), as well as those in their late 50s and early 60s.

The number of 18- to 24-year-olds who report having used online dating has nearly tripled in the last two years. “Today 27% of these young adults report that they have done so,” says Pew Research Center, “up from just 10% in early 2013. Meanwhile, the share of 55- to 64-year-olds who use online dating has doubled over the same time period (from 6% in 2013 to 12% in 2015).”

For the young adult demographic, the growth goes hand in hand with the explosion of mobile dating apps. Twenty-two percent of 18- to 24-year-olds now report using mobile dating apps, a more than fourfold increase from 2013.

Outside of the 15% of American adults who now use dating sites an apps, 41% say they know someone who uses online dating and 29% know someone who has married or entered into a long-term partnership with someone they met online. College graduates and the relatively affluent are most likely to fall into into those two categories.

Though many have tried online dating, or know someone who has, there are mixed opinions on the experience. “On one hand,” writes Pew, “a majority of online dating users agree that dating digitally has distinct advantages over other ways of meeting romantic partners.” The stats reflect the sentiment:

• 80% of Americans who have used online dating agree that online dating is a good way to meet people.
• 62% agree that online dating allows people to find a better match, because they can get to know a lot more people.
• 61% agree that online dating is easier and more efficient than other ways of meeting people.

But it's not all pros. A minority of users noted the potential negative consequences of online dating:

• 45% of online dating users agree that online dating is more dangerous than other ways of meeting people.
• 31% agree that online dating keeps people from settling down, because they always have options for people to date.
• 16% agree with the statement “people who use online dating sites are desperate.”

To peruse the original Pew findings, complete with informative graphs and an explanation of their methodology, visit the Pew Research Center website or visit our own Dating Statistics page.

Lulu, a dating app designed to help women rate and share information about the men they date, has become part of online dating giant Badoo.

Lulu has had an interesting history. Founded in 2011 by Alexandra Chong, the app was originally created to help women have a safer online dating experience by encouraging them to communicate with other women over the app about the men they dated. Users were given the ability to rate their dates according to looks, humor, ambition, and even sexual prowess. They could also add pre-made hashtags for more detailed examples describing a man, like #OneWomanMan, #WillActSilly or #EpicLaugh.

You know how to use Tinder. You know how to use OkCupid. The same goes for Match.com and eHarmony. But do you know what goes on behind the scenes?

Christian Rudder – co-founder and former CEO of OkCupid, Harvard alumnus and author of Dataclysm – knows the dating industry inside and out. He recently spoke at Northeastern University about finding love in the modern age, and what it takes to be a company that facilitates it. These days it's not Cupid in charge of your heart – it's math, data, algorithms, and analysis.

How does it all work? Rudder spilled his secrets to Northeastern's President Joseph Aoun. On why he was motivated to make a better dating site, Rudder said he wanted to create well-balanced relationships. The key, he believed, was versatility. A system like eHarmony's felt too rigid, while OkCupid's matching allowed for greater flexibility.

Could one word really be hurting your online dating game? Could one word make it better?

Dating app Hinge looked at 5,000 users who exchanged contact information within 24 hours of matching to determine which opening lines are most likely to get dates (and which will get you ghosted).

Using a text analysis model, they identified common phrases and words in the conversations they examined. So which words were winners and which words were losers?

The biggest flop was the word 'sorry.' Hinge users who included 'sorry' in an initial communication were a whopping 56% less likely to get a person's number. Next time you feel tempted to apologize for not responding sooner, take the “sorry not sorry” approach (just don't actually write it). You were busy and that's a good thing. Besides, not explaining yourself creates a teeny bit of intriguing mystery your date may be eager to solve.

Hinge's research also found that being vague and “wishy-washy” is a turn-off for potential dates. People who suggested dates in ambiguous timeframes like “this weekend” and “next week” were 40% less likely to score someone's digits. The more specific you can be, the better. After all, you matched with them so you must be interested in them – make it clear by arranging concrete plans, or answering with a simple yes or no.

At the other end of the spectrum, laughter proved to be irresistable. Hinge found that conversations that used words associated with laughing – like 'haha' and the ever-present 'lol' – had a 17% higher chance of ending in an exchange of phone numbers. It's not hard to believe when you consider how many people say a sense of humor is one of the most important traits in a partner. And what would flirting be without a little witty banter?

Unsurprisingly, compliments also had a positive effect on conversations, but one type of compliment in particular stood out. When a Hinge user told another user that they have a cool name, it increased the likelihood of getting their digits by 12.5%. Destiny's Child had it right: say my name, say my name (especially if it's to talk about how awesome it is).

Of course, no amount of dating advice or studies can guarantee a a phone number (much less a date), but they can help you avoid some basic mistakes. For more information on the dating app which brought us this study you can read our review of Hinge.

Most of us have heard the term “six degrees of separation,” made famous first by the sociology study in the 1960’s, and later in the nineties through references to Kevin Bacon’s prolific acting career. The theory was born: we are all only “six degrees of separation” from him, or anyone else, on the planet.

Now, Facebook is concluding we could be even more connected to each other – by as little as 3.5 degrees.

What this means is that that when you are connected to all the people you know, and they are connected to all the people they know, and so on, you are inevitably linked – through your own network of friends, and friends of friends - to such notable figures as the President of the United States, a Kardashian, football star Tom Brady, or Senator Marco Rubio. That’s right, we’re all only six people removed from everyone else on the planet.

Recently, the numbers were studied again – this time by Facebook, using its own platform. The company found that despite the fact that over the last twenty years or so the population of the planet has increased – we are now closer to each other than ever before. We are all, on average, only three and a half degrees of separation from anyone else on the planet, thanks in large part to the role social media plays in our lives.

Think of it this way: If you have 100 friends, and each of your friends has 100 friends, that's already 10,000 friends of friends to whom you are connected.

In the United States, people are even more closely connected to each other – by an average of 3.46 degrees. At least among those who have Facebook accounts, which totals about 1.59 billion according to Facebook. And Pew Research Center’s report last year shows that about 72% of US adults are active online.

More people are signing up for the Facebook platform every day, which means the numbers are dynamic and makes the connections even closer. For instance, in 2011, researchers at Cornell, the Università degli Studi di Milano, and Facebook analyzed the average across 721 million people using the site then, and found that the degree of connection between people was 3.74. Now, with twice as many people using Facebook, we've grown more interconnected, thus shortening the distance between any two people in the world.

One problem with Facebook’s figures is that in real life, the majority of people only consider a portion of their Facebook friends as “real” friends. The typical Facebook user has 155 friends, but only describes 50 of them as friends in real life, according to a 2014 study from the Pew Research Center. Thirty-five percent of people have Facebook friends they've never met in person.

What does this mean? For one, social media and the Internet have drawn us all closer to each other – in a way. Maybe we aren’t any closer to each other in terms of real life interactions, but in a virtual world, we find connection.

Found if this social network makes a good dating service substitute, read our Facebook review.