Online Dating

Tinder’s simple swipe functionality has long made it a target of criticism. Detractors claim the dating app is a magnet for promiscuous singles hoping for hook-ups, while defenders say meaningful relationships are also part of the package. A new study suggests the latter may be right.

Researchers at Webster Vienna Private University in Austria asked 75 users of Tinder and other dating services to complete questionnaires about their motivation for online dating. They were also asked to rate their sociability, self-esteem, and sexual permissiveness. They shared their findings in a paper entitled 'On the differences between Tinder versus online dating agencies.'

“To date there has been little scientific research exploring the characteristics and motivations of those who use online dating agencies and social dating apps,” said lead author Dr. Kathleen Hodkinson, Assistant Professor in the Department of Psychology. “We were interested in understanding whether users of these two types of services differ from each other, and from those who do not use any form of online dating. What the research has essentially highlighted is that they don’t appear to.”

The study concluded that Tinder users have the same motivations as users of other sites, and that they do not significantly differ from traditional daters in their behavior or what they’re looking for. Those results are in line with a broader body of research that has found that online daters strongly resemble those who do not use online dating. “It is likely,” Hodkinson explained, “that as online dating continues to grow in popularity, its users are becoming increasingly diverse and therefore more reflective of the general population.”

Early studies of online dating drew completely different conclusions. They found a positive correlation between time spent on the internet, loneliness, and anxiety. Further studies failed to replicate that finding, and with the stigma surrounding online dating almost completely gone, Hodkinson’s study feels closer to the truth - at least the truth as we experience it in 2016.

What Hodkinson’s team did find is increased sexual permissiveness in Tinder users, which they chalked up to the younger age of the app’s userbase. They also found they men are more likely than women to use dating services to find casual sex partners, a finding that is consistent with other studies that show similar behavior patterns among males both online and offline.

The study hopes to inspire more in-depth research to further test the assumptions made, in particular taking other variables such as religious beliefs, income, and marital status into account. For now, it provides a starting point for evaluating how dating services are used today and how it may evolve in the future. For more on this dating app for which the study is about please read our review of Tinder

BeautifulPeople.com boasts that it offers “online dating for beautiful people only,” but it’s currently making headlines for something far from pretty. The site was recently attacked by hackers who put the personal info of 1.1 million members for sale on the black market.

According to security expert Troy Hunt, the data belonged to members who joined before July 2015. Information like weight, height, job, and phone number was reportedly compromised, though no passwords or financial details were included.

"The breach involves data that was provided by members prior to mid-July 2015. No more recent user data or any data relating to users who joined from mid-July 2015 onward is affected," Beautiful People said in a statement. "As far as we were aware, at that time [in December 2015], only the two security researchers who informed us of the breach had access to this data."

Chris Vickery, who originally discovered breach, told the BBC the firm acted quickly after he notified them - but it was already too late. "They published it openly to the world with no protection whatsoever," he said.

Like the Ashley Madison hack – which exposed 39 million people hoping to cheat on their partners – there’s a sense of schadenfreude to the news. A part of us enjoys seeing “bad” people (or in this case, people who have an inflated sense of their own goodness) get knocked down a peg. We call it karma, but what it really is, is a warning.

Hacking is a scary phenomenon no matter what, and doubly so when it’s done with the intention to shame. Online dating is now so commonplace that many users have grown lax about how they do it. Theoretically we know we need to protect our personal information, but how much effort do we really put into it? Our data is bought and sold constantly, whether we know it or not, both legally and illegally. Let the Beautiful People hack be a reminder to prioritize your privacy.

The good news is, the company says the leak has since been patched. But there’s no way to reclaim the data that’s now circulating. Victims of the hack must now take precautions like changing passwords and monitoring for identity theft.

Beautiful People said all affected members are being notified about the breach. You can also use Troy Hunt’s HaveIBeenPwned.com to find out what, if any, personal information about you is publically available online.

eHarmony is offering free communication from Wednesday May 25th to Monday May 30th, 2016. This long weekend event is available in the United States and celebrates Memorial Day.

eHarmony is the perfect online dating service for singles looking for long-term relationships. You can join via their website or dating apps which are found on iTunes and Android. Once you have created a free memberships all you need to do is then take the personality questionnaire before you can receive your matches. This takes most people between 30 and 40 minutes to complete. The questionnaire doesn't all have to be completed at once since you can save the questions you have answered and come back later to finish. Most questions are of the multiple choice variety.

After the questionnaire is finished you will receive your first set of matches. You can then go ahead and review your matches and start the communication process (which includes emails) with the ones you like. The great thing with free communication weekends is you know everyone can reply to your messages. These events also do not require a credit card so their is no cost or obligation to start a subscription. Every day or so you can expect a new batch of matches to arrive to your eHarmony account. Free communication events do not include photos, skipping the guided communication process or secure call (a phone feature). For access to these features you will need to purchase an eHarmony subscription.

For more about this popular online matchmaking service, you can read our eHarmony review.

Are you a Republican or Democrat? According to a study by dating website Match, most people looking to date wouldn’t care one way or another, but something has changed in 2016, and people are becoming more polarized and politically active.  

Perhaps it’s the entertainment aspect that Donald Trump has brought to the campaign trail, or the enthusiastic support of Bernie Sanders among young liberal voters, but something has shifted in the collective American psyche---so much so, that it has inspired two new dating apps.

So now the question has become: Are you a fan of Bernie Sanders, or not a fan of Donald Trump? Regardless of how you feel, there are two new dating sites you should know about.

Bernie Singles launched a few months back, when app developers found that there was a real market for young activists looking to meet each other – for friendship or something more. It seemed that many Bernie Sanders fans on Facebook were eager to meet like-minded activists in person, and there was an instant show of support for the dating app.

Bernie Singles definitely embraces the progressive slant of the candidate who first inspired it. When you join, you can register as male, female, genderqueer or transgender - and as straight, gay, lesbian, bisexual, pansexual, queer or asexual. There’s no gender bias, which also seems to be a good selling point.

In fact, so many people downloaded it when it first launched that the site crashed in the first week. Several thousand have joined to date.

Not to ignore the dating app potential with the current political groundswell of young activists, there will soon be an app for those looking to avoid a Trump Presidency. Maple Match, whose tagline is “Make Dating Great Again” – a play on Trump’s campaign slogan of “Make America Great Again” – has been making headlines with the announcement of its product, coming soon to market.  The app promises to find Americans who are looking to flee a potential Trump Presidency some Canadian matches. Even before its launch, 5,000 people have signed up for the site.

As it turns out, Trump isn’t the only reason Americans want to flee the country. According to a recent interview in The Guardian, Joe Goldman, Maple Match’s founder said: "This site shows that a lot of people are frustrated with the current dating options. A lot of Americans really want to meet Canadians. They're looking for something new and something better."

Bernie Singles is coy in its approach, noting on its website: “The one percent aren’t the only ones getting screwed this election season!” 

Either way, politics has entered the mix in online dating. We'll see what happens in 2017.

Badoo recently launched a photo verification feature which asks new users to verify their profile by sending one to Badoo of them performing a specific gesture which allows a Badoo moderator to compare the person in the photo with the rest of the users photos. If they matched then the photo's and profile for that member is deemed verified.

Last week Badoo let us know that they have added a new feature to their iOS and Android dating apps which allows users to upload 15 second video clips. Before going live the video will be reviewed for inappropriate content by one of Badoo's 5,000 moderators (the same ones which review photos). Badoo decided to add this feature because videos allows online daters to get a sense of what the person they are interested is like. You can expect to see video's from members which show their sense of humor, creative skills, unique quirks, and other insights from the member.

For more about this dating service you can read our review of Badoo.

Some break-ups are worse than others, but all break-ups can take a toll on our mental and emotional state. How many times have you chosen to distract yourself from the pain and sadness you feel? Probably more than you think – sometimes by going out with friends, drinking, or having sex, and other times by throwing yourself into work, a hobby or a new fitness routine.

Now, more and more of us are turning to dating apps to swipe and feel that little “rush” from matching with a new profile or engaging in some flirtatious messaging. And why not? It’s healthy to flirt, to meet new people, right?

Not necessarily. Using dating apps as a distraction – to swipe through endless profiles – can work against you and delay the healing process after a break-up. As a writer for website Bustle described it: “An unexpected match with an attractive guy would briefly pull me out from under the cloud of sadness, and it validated my future dating potential in the most superficial way possible. At the time, I knew that it was wrong for the approval of random strangers to mean more to me than the unconditional support from my friends and family, but I didn't want to stop swiping: the next match could always be better than the last…After the fleeting glow from a witty text exchange faded, the positive feelings about myself did, too.”

Distracting ourselves isn’t always the best thing for getting over a break-up. Healing is a process – it’s good to feel your emotions and come to terms with your broken heart. Healthy transformation comes from this process of sitting with pain so we can let go and move on. Distraction only serves to delay our healing.

Don’t get me wrong – it’s good to throw yourself into something healthy, like joining a new running group or growing that garden you always wanted. But when you try and ignore your feelings, opting for quick fixes like the rush from swiping through a dating app, it can backfire.

The “high” you feel from superficial interaction is fleeting, and can leave you feeling worse than you did before – and more likely to swipe. In fact, swiping can become a validation exercise, rather than a healthy way to meet dates. You don’t want to confuse the app itself with your ability to connect with people.

Our self worth doesn’t come from how many matches or messages we get, or how many opportunities we have to meet new people. We have to feel grounded in ourselves – confident in our abilities, independence, and worthiness – rather than dependent on what others think – especially random strangers over text.

So next time you are tempted to login to Tinder after a break-up because you are in desperate need of distraction or validation, call your friend and go out for dinner instead. You’ll be happier and healthier in the long run.