Dating Services

According to The New York Times’ story last year on the current (and dismal) state of dating culture - dubbed the “Dating Apocalypse” - most Millennials using dating apps are just looking to hook up. In this feature story, we read several personal anecdotes from New York singles who were struggling with Tinder, ghosting, and meeting people who had a general lack of interest in serious relationships, which left us feeling like the world of online dating was scary and hopeless.

Turns out, this isn’t a very accurate portrayal of today’s dating culture.

A new study from one of the largest online dating services Plenty of Fish (POF) released a report this month based on over 800 survey respondents ages 18-33 (who also happen to be Millennials). These findings reveal that an overwhelming majority – 75% of Millennials to be exact – are looking for a serious relationship. This means, most are not looking for one-night stands, but real relationships.

In addition, another recent article in The New York Times flips this notion of hook-up culture on its head. Instead of taking Tinder to task for promoting hook-ups in dating, the reporter interviewed couples who had met on Tinder and later married, and even some couples who were expecting their first child after meeting over the notorious app. The conclusion is that Tinder is much more than a hook-up app, and yields successful matches for many members despite its reputation.

Tinder has been associated with hook-ups and the downfall of dating culture, but single people gravitate to it to meet people outside of their own social circles. It is the app with the largest user base, the app that most people have heard of, and because of its unique position, most people are willing to give it a try – simply because there are so many people using it.

The irony is, while some people are using it as a hook-up app, the majority of daters – including Millennials - are using it to seek out serious relationships. Despite the media claim that daters are stuck in a “casual dating” culture whether they like it or not, singles these days are still looking for good old-fashioned love. Dating apps are just a way of finding the right person, despite the superficial methods of swiping left or right based on a few photos.

Dating app culture might just be about convenience – we are always on our phones, and it’s easier to just swipe through photos rather than spending hours reading lengthy profiles. In fact, most of the long-standing dating sites have now launched apps that are more convenient and user-friendly, with photos front and center.

So the next time you are hesitant to try a dating app because you think that people are only looking for hook-ups, remember that 75% of the people you swipe through are looking for love, just like you. For more on the dating services mentioned you can read our POF review and our Tinder review.

Norway’s consumer authority has spoken out against Tinder’s current terms and conditions by filing a formal complaint against the company.

The Norwegian Consumer Council insists that the popular dating app is not protecting its users, granting sweeping ownership rights and control over users’ data. Some of the terms and conditions Tinder users agree to when downloading the app include allowing Tinder change its terms without notifying users, and allowing the app to delete users’ accounts without justification. The Council also points out that users aren’t allowed to delete their own accounts if they want to (which could allow Tinder to inflate their own numbers by potentially counting inactive profiles).

While these policies are spelled out in Tinder’s current terms and conditions, most people aren’t taking the time to read through or really understand how their data could be used. And Norwegian authorities want to call the company out on the practice.

Another sticking point for Tinder according to the Council is that the minimum user age is listed at 13, which country officials consider too young, especially when it comes to understanding complicated online privacy issues.

While Tinder is arguably the most successful dating app, its popularity soared in part because the app was free for those who downloaded it. Access to data from its user base is one of the ways Tinder can make money. A revenue model they use includes offering targeted (data-driven) marketing.

According to a recent article in Fortune, this isn’t the first complaint about app and social media privacy policies from governments outside the U.S. In France earlier this year, the consumer organization UFC-Que Choisir asked French data protection authority CNIL to investigate dating app Happn over its data-collection practices. And the German antitrust authority launched a complaint against Facebook over its “unfair” terms and conditions, on the premise that it is dominates the social networking market and has an unfair competitive advantage.

While Tinder doesn’t have a European operation, it does offer the app in Norwegian language and it is available in Norway’s app store, so it does have to abide by the country’s regulations when selling to its market.

If Norway’s officials consider the case against the company, it may order Tinder to change its terms and conditions or face penalties. Tinder said it makes every effort to comply with local and national regulations. The company released a statement that read: “If and when authorities bring up larger privacy concerns, we always take them into consideration and, if applicable to our users, take steps to implement any necessary changes. We are committed to protecting our users’ privacy and strive to uphold a fair and trusted privacy policy.”

For more information on this dating app please read our review of Tinder.

eHarmony is offering a 3 day full trial of their service. Just sign up for a subscription from April 21st to April 24th, 2016 and use the coupon code FREE to receive 3 days of full access to eHarmony. This code is valid in the United States and Canada on the eHarmony website and dating apps (iOS and Android). Once the 3 day free trial is over you will then be auto enrolled into a 3 month plan (unless you cancel before the 3 days is over).

eHarmony is one of the top dating services where members find long term relationships. A recent study by Consumers' Research found that 57% of eHarmony users found a relationship, with 29% of eHarmony users relationships lasting longer than 1 month. eHarmony has put a lot of time and effort into developing their in-depth matchmaking algorithm so once you signup as a member take your time and answer the relationship questionnaire. It will take about 30 minutes to do so and once completed you will receive your first set of matches in minutes.

For more information about this popular online dating service that specializes in long-term relationships, you can read our eHarmony review.

Ghosting is becoming a familiar term in dating. It’s a passive-aggressive way of breaking up with someone, where one partner goes completely silent by not returning calls or answering texts, offering a not-so-subtle rejection of their partner. While this behavior existed long before dating apps were created, it’s only become more common as dating apps have taken off.

A recent survey confirms this trend. Dating website Plenty of Fish (POF), one of the largest dating sites in the world, surveyed 800 Millennials between ages 18-33 in both the U.S. and Canada to understand attitudes and behavior patterns among young daters. Results of the survey showed that an overwhelming majority - 80% of Millennials - have at some point in their dating lives been ghosted.

There are many reasons behind the trend of ghosting. Dating apps do make it easier, since people can be anonymous. Most daters don’t have mutual friends in common when they meet over apps, so they aren’t really held accountable for their actions or behavior. It’s also much easier to ghost someone you may not know very well instead of confronting them directly. The assumption is that it’s easier to ghost someone than than to reject him outright (like it's easier to text than to call), or that the relationship was a casual one and therefore it’s “not a big deal” to just let it disappear.

In fact, “ghosting” seems to be the new trend when ending a relationship, and daters know it will happen. Fifteen percent of survey respondents admitted to scheduling multiple dates in one night, assuming that at least one date wouldn’t work out.

Some other interesting trends the survey discovered:

There’s no “Dating Apocalypse”: Contrary to popular belief, an overwhelming majority - 75% of millennials - use dating apps because they’re looking for a serious relationship. Forty-nine percent identified “just looking to hookup” as the biggest misconception about singles under the age of 30.

Financial difficulties factor into dating and relationships: According to the study, 30% of millennials live at home with their parents, and not surprisingly, 50% say this living situation negatively impacts their love life.

Savvy Singles: 50% millennial singles over the age of 24 have already been dating online for 5 years or more, with the majority of respondents currently using more than one dating app. Twenty-three percent visit an online dating site or app 3-5 times every day. If a date goes well, 20% of millennials won’t even wait one day to set up a second date.

Millenials aren’t just looking for hook-ups and are serious about finding relationships, which is good news. However, many dating app users need a few lessons when it comes to improving their dating behavior. Ghosting isn't the best way to end a new relationship.

For more information on this dating service you can read our POF review.

Believe the media hype about Tinder and you know it as the epicenter of youth hookup culture. The app is constantly plagued by accusations of promoting casual sex, but a recent survey from college jobs startup WayUp says the perception of Tinder could be a far cry from its reality.

The survey asked 200 college students about their dating habits. Seventy-three percent ranked Tinder as their favorite dating app, followed by Bumble at 13% and OkCupid at 10%. A lone student listed Facebook as her dating site of choice.

It’s not a surprise that college students show a strong preference for Tinder. They were amongst Tinder’s most active users when the app launched in 2012, and today Tinder says 50% of its users are in the college age group.

What’s more surprising is what they say they’re using it for. Twenty percent said they're looking for a hookup, 27% said they’re looking for a significant other, and the majority - at 53% - said they use dating apps to find friends.

So is that Tinder’s deep, dark secret? It’s not the sex-fueled free-for-all everyone thinks it is?

Both college students and researchers believe the survey isn’t an accurate reflection of the dating landscape. Sydney Mastandrea, a sophomore at University of Miami, told CNN Money, "I think people use [Tinder] for random hookups rather than [finding] friends — but say it's for 'friends' so they aren't judged."

Aditi Paul, a Ph.D. candidate researching online dating at Michigan State University, believes students don’t need an app to assist in finding friendships, as the college experiences provides a wealth of opportunities for social interaction.

Or perhaps students say “friendship” because they don’t actually know what they’re getting. Kathleen Bogle, professor and author of Hooking Up: Sex, Dating, and Relationships on Campus, told Inside Higher Ed that the tendency for college students to use the term could come from their proclivity for unlabeled romantic interactions. Without a more formal term, they default to “friendship” to keep their options open.

“I don’t know that I believe that people are just trying to make friends via Tinder and have no other intentions beyond that,” Bogle said. “I think that’s just a sign of being open to whatever happens, happens.”

Rosette Pambakian, vice president of communications at Tinder, takes a more open-minded view of the application. In 2014, she told Elle, "The purpose was never just for dating, it was for social discovery in general ... The co-founders wanted to create a really efficient way to meet people around you who you probably would have never met before."

In the end, it doesn’t matter to Tinder. Whether college students are looking for friendships, hookups, or long-term love, they’re still using the app. For more on this service, you can read our review of Tinder

Dating apps are popular in part due to the low commitment factor. Most apps are free to download and begin using, so there isn’t much incentive for people to pay for enhanced services, or pay to use an app at all. You can swipe left and right, checking back for new matches at any time.

Because many dating apps have also modeled themselves after the swiping aspect of Tinder, where potential dates are judged instantly, and some argue, superficially, there is not much incentive for singles to get serious in their searches, and especially to pay for an online dating service. This has contributed to a dating app culture where daters aren’t necessarily invested or interested in serious dating.

However, a new study from Earnest, an alternative lending firm based in San Francisco, California, has revealed that people are willing to pay for a dating app, if it means they get more quality matches and have a better chance of connecting with someone and starting a relationship.

As we saw with online dating sites like Plenty of Fish, free doesn’t necessarily mean that daters are getting their needs met. In fact, many daters tried these free services only to return to the paid services later on, assuming that people using them were more serious.

Online dating services and apps vary in cost, with some starting as low as $10 per month while some can cost as much as $65 per month.

One surprising find from the study is that men seem to be more serious in their search, outnumbering women in terms of who will pay for dating services by sixteen percent.

Another interesting find: those living on the West Coast are 55 percent more likely to pay for a dating service than in other parts of the US. (So no, California residents aren’t so flaky after all!)

Overall, nearly 10 percent of those surveyed said they paid for a dating app, with Match, OkCupid and E-Harmony edging out Tinder as go-to romance resources. Forty-four percent of participants were willing to pay for Match, while 32% were willing to pay for OkCupid’s services and 22% will pay for eHarmony. (Tinder came in fourth at 9%.)    

And no surprise, older singles ages 36-50 are 50% more likely to pay for a dating app than their younger counterparts, aged 18-26.

For more information on the services mentioned in this study, you can read our reviews of Match, OkCupid, and eHarmony.