Dating Services

Mobile technology may be changing how we date, according to a recent study by popular dating websites ChristianMingle.com and JDate.com. Texting is fast becoming the preferred method of communication in relationships, including asking someone out for the first time or even for breaking up.

The study found that approximately one third of men (31%) and slightly more women (33%) find it easier to ask someone out on a date via text rather than making a phone call. Also, 55% of singles feel their mobile devices make it easier to meet and get to know people they may be interested in dating. And 64% of singles feel the quality of relationships with those they are dating or interested in dating has improved due to their mobile devices.

The study notes that mobile devices make it easier to break up, too. More than 50 percent of singles said they would consider breaking up with someone they were casually dating via text and an incredible 24% would consider ending an exclusive relationship that way.

Technology has been a part of dating for a while. Online dating started as a novel idea that gained popularity over time. Mobile technology has provided us with even more access to meeting people and dating, since our phones travel with us. We can meet a friend at the bar, open a mobile app and see if there are any other singles at the same bar that we might be interested in dating. You have so much information at your fingertips, and you can communicate via your phone. So it makes sense that daters are gravitating to their phones to connect with more people.

The study found some other interesting results:

• Seventy-eight percent of singles expect to communicate within 24 hours after a good first date. And after a good date, a majority of the men and women surveyed agree it doesn't matter who initiates the next communication.

• Don't be coy. Forty-six percent of singles have become upset with someone they are dating over their text response time, with more women (52%) getting upset than men (40%).

• Texting is the most frequent form of communication, particularly for those ages 21 to 26, who report texting several times a day before going on a date (50%), during a casual relationship (43%) and during an exclusive relationship (62%).

• 96 percent of singles keep phones out of sight during a date. But, somehow, 67% still find a way to check their phones during a date.

The study surveyed 1,500 U.S. singles between the ages of 21 and 50.

Heads up, OkCupid users: the game is about to change on everybody's favorite free dating site.

The most observant OkCupid users may have already noticed a new feature has quietly appeared on their profiles. Click on your username and a drop-down menu appears with a new option: Promote Me. For an extra $2 fee, users who want a little extra attention on the site can promote themselves to fellow OkCupidites.

The feature is so new that OkCupid hasn't even released a formal press release, but word on the street is the site plans to formalize and publicize the new addition in the next few weeks. The question is: How will the introduction of a paid promotion feature alter the otherwise very democratic experience on OkCupid?

OkCupid co-founder and president Christian Rudder promises that little will change. "The idea is that we're showing you to the same people we would over time, but in a very condensed way," he told BuzzFeed. "We still only show you to good matches (high match percentage, nearby) - not just randoms." In other words, promoted profiles will always be people you would have been matched with eventually, they're just coming sooner than they might have without the paid promotion.

So how does paid promotion work? What the $2 fee actually gets you is 10 minutes of enhanced visibility. For those 10 minutes, your promoted profile is pushed to the front of the crowd in all areas of the site, like QuickMatch and "People You Might Like." Promoted profiles are not marked in any way, making them indistinguishable from other profiles. In tests of the new feature, BuzzFeed says, OkCupid found that those 10 minutes of promoted time gave users 30 times more exposure than they would have otherwise received in the same amount of time.

The jury is out on whether OkCupid's new strategy will work. Some fear that paid promotions will clutter the site's pages with less attractive users whose profiles aren't getting any attention. Others say that the exact opposite will happen. Since attractive users find it easier to get dates, supporters say, they stand to gain the most from increased exposure and will find the feature most useful.

Whichever direction the new feature goes, Promote Me is pretty much guaranteed to be a popular addition to the site. Rudder told BuzzFeed that over 2,500 people paid to promote themselves in the first 24 hours after launch, and that was before most OkCupid members were even aware Promote Me existed.

The first Monday in September is almost upon us which means the Labor Day long weekend (or Labour Day in Canada) is just around the corner. eHarmony is celebrating this last long weekend this summer by having a free communication weekend in the United States and Canada. From August 29th to September 2nd all users can communicate with their matches for free.

Most of you know by now that eHarmony has a free communication weekend (FCW) about once a month and they usually fall around the holidays. This is the ideal time because many singles are home and close to their laptop or tablet and have the time to try out a dating service. eHarmony is extra busy on these weekends since you not only get to sign up for free and take the personality profile questionnaire at no cost, but once you receive your matches you can also communicate for free. Sending emails happens after you go through the guided communication process with one or more of your matches. This process allows you to get to know your match better in a structured way that helps to break the ice once you are able to send email messages.

FCW at eHarmony does not include photos in profiles, secure calls over your phone, or skipping the guided communication process.

For more information on this matchmaking service you can check out our posted reviews of eHarmony. This service had their last FCW a couple of weeks ago (see Story).

Most of us are at least familiar with social media like Facebook, Twitter, FourSquare, and the like. Many of us have accounts and check them on a regular basis. Some of us keep privacy settings high while others put themselves out there to gain a larger client and networking base. Some feel compelled to post constantly - where they are going for dinner or what they just said to a work colleague, while others prefer to post only occasionally with meaningful advice or news.

We all perceive social media in different ways and use it for different reasons. This is why it can get tricky when you incorporate dating into your virtual mix.

Obviously, there are a lot of opportunities for connecting with other singles over social media. But reaching out to people virtually comes with risk. How do you feel about potential dates - and strangers - knowing so much about you through Facebook or Twitter before you even meet face to face?

Following are a few basic guidelines to remember when dealing with social media and dating:

Don't be afraid to connect. There are many dating tools that utilize the power of Facebook to connect you with people in your social circles that you don't necessarily know. Check out CoffeeMeetsBagel or TheDatable if you want to promote your other single Facebook friends in the dating pool. These apps are selective about the information shared, limited to your likes and profile photos.

Know your privacy settings. You don't have to make your social media posts public to everyone. It's important to know your privacy settings, especially on Facebook or Google+ where you can customize by post or picture. It's good to be aware of how you present yourself online to people who don't know anything about you. This goes not only for dating, but also for your career.

Don't post rants about your dates. Think about it - if you were interested in someone, friended him on Facebook, and then saw posts about how terrible his last five dates were, you might reconsider asking him out. Try not to scare off potential dates by making them think you'll write about them, too. Keep your dating life discussions limited to in-person gatherings with your friends.

Exchange numbers first. While it might seem easier to connect on Facebook and drop a casual message to someone you just met at a party, it's better to exchange phone numbers. When you let someone into your Facebook world too soon, they have access to all kind of information - your exes, where you went to school, those party pics from last weekend. People often draw inaccurate conclusions quickly. Instead, keep a little mystery and send a text instead. Friend him later.

Match.com's popular Stir events have come to Canada. A Stir event is an organized singles party that is held at a physical venue like a bar or restaurant. This week events are being held in Toronto, Vancouver, Ottawa, Calgary and Edmonton.

Starting August 26,2013 Match.com Canadian members can sign up for Stir events by visiting the Events tab in the Match.com membership area. Invitation to events are sent out based on a user’s demographic information, age, and physical location.

When you go to a Stir happy hour event you know the relationship status of everyone there is single. Events are arranged and invites are sent out to members based on their location to the event and the age range the event is designed for. When you get to the event you also can connect with your mobile phone to find out who else is in attendance, what they are looking for in a match and, view their profile and photos.

For more information on Stir events you can read our page on Match.com or you can check out the press release.

Facebook and Google probably know more about you than some of your friends do.

We're all guilty of it. In this age of oversharing, we live in public. Every detail of every day is shared with friends, family, fans, and followers with little regard for privacy or potential future repercussions. We assume that the sites we choose to reveal that information to keep our data safe and confidential. It's just blind trust, and sometimes our trust isn't rewarded.

Case in point: Successful Match, which has allegedly posted the HIV and STI statuses of its customers on affiliate dating sites without their knowledge. Successful Match is now facing a class action lawsuit claiming the conglomerate broke the law and its promises of confidentiality to customers on PositiveSingles.com. Positive Singles shared users' HIV and STI statuses with 'thousands' of spinoff sites, alleges the suit, including HIVGayMen.com, STDHookup.com and Blackpoz.com.

The two female plaintiffs say they were promised "fully anonymous profiles" in a service that would connect them with other singles with the same status when they joined Positive Singles. "What it does not do, however, is disclose that there are upwards of a thousand other websites that link to PositiveSingles.com," all of which use the same database of profiles, the women say in the suit.

The suit also alleges that Successful Match created all its websites with identical formats, despite promising that each website was "unique" and "exclusive." The plaintiffs say the websites' forms were intentionally designed to prevent the majority of members from ever seeing the Terms of Service. The Terms of Service could not be printed, and instead could only be obtained by personally contacting SuccessfulMatch.com to request a copy.

The provisions in the Terms of Service gave Successful Match.com the right to share all user profiles created on PositiveSingles.com. They also granted Successful Match the rights to all information entered in the site and gave the conglomerate permission to share the profiles.

The Positive Singles homepage now includes a disclaimer, but it's unclear when the disclaimer was posted:

PositiveSingles is part of a network of affiliated sites serving persons who are STD positive. Please see our Privacy Policy for details of how user profiles are accessible to others in the network.

Currently, the lawsuit seeks class certification, restitution, declaratory judgment, a permanent injunction against the defendant's business plan and collection of fees, and compensatory and punitive damages.