Dating Services

"They've been calling me clairvoyant and I guess I am because I just get these weird 'flashes,' I call them, or premonitions at the oddest times and in the oddest places."

I know I'm not the only one who reads something like that and thinks "Oh God...no thank you. Not in a million years would I trust someone who speaks like that to find the partner I'm going to spend the rest of my life with."

For the past 21 years, however, Janis Spindel has been proving my prejudice wrong. As a professional matchmaker, she has helped everyone from politicians to business magnates find lasting love. She estimates that her matches have led to about 1,000 marriages, even more relationships, and over $5 million in revenue in last year alone.

Sure, maybe it's clairvoyance that tells her who's likely to hit it off, but I think the explanation she gave to Forbes is more likely: "I am a people person from the get-go," she said. "I can talk to anyone, anywhere, any time and in five minutes I can find out more than you could in dating somebody for six months. It's mind-boggling. I ask the questions, I fire them away, and they just answer them."

Spindel turned her natural talents into a professional pursuit after the fourteenth couple she'd introduced called to tell her they were getting married. She began with a 51-gues networking party at Ovo Café in New York City in 1993. 34 people connected in the party, and her business has been successful ever since.

Today her company has 17 employees and a yearlong contract with her (which is good for 12 introductions) runs NYC-based clients $50,000 upfront plus another $50,000 on the backend if they are successfully matched and stay with that person for a year. If you're out of state, the $50,000 on the backend stays the same but the upfront cost doubles to $100,000. And if you'd like Spindel and her staff to travel to you, you're look at a $250,000 fee and another quarter million on the backend if your match is found.

There are other options for those who have less disposable income, but nothing that comes close to "economic." Love is big business, and clients are expected to pay up for Spindel's unique expertise.

Janis Spindel explains her 3 date rule:

Most recently, Spindel has expanded her services to include a gay division and online dating. Her company has started its own free dating site, 2LoveToday, that uses her staff to make matches for customers who want to pay a premium fee. Her next move is to build a presence in India and begin her expansion into Asia. Clairvoyant or not, the woman certainly seems unstoppable.

eHarmony is having a free communication weekend right now. It started the day before Halloween and ends Sunday November 3rd just before midnight (PST).

These free communication weekends are the perfect time for someone who hasn't tried eHarmony to give the service a try. You can not only create your profile and answer the in-depth questionnaire for free but you will also receive your matches and be able to communicate with them at no cost, and with no credit card required. Free communication includes the guided communication process and email. The guided communication process is designed to allow matches to easily break the ice and introduce conversation starters. This is achieved by each match asking and answering a few questions so the person you are communicating with has a better understanding of you as a person. As always free communication events do not include photos, the secure call phone service, and skip to email.

The last free eHarmony communication weekend was at the end of September (see Story). For more on this dating site you can read our review of eHarmony.

How About We may be the first online dating site that offers a service especially for couples. Their latest venture, How About We For Couples, aims to plan, book, and arrange dates for people who are looking to spice up their relationships. They launched in New York and San Francisco and are planning other cities in the near future. So far, they have 130,000 couples signed up.

The founders noticed a trend among couples of relying on Netflix and take-out meals for entertainment, losing the magic that comes with the headiness and excitement of a new relationship. So instead of sitting on the couch, How About We for Couples provides ideas to get you both inspired and to cultivate relationships instead of letting them go stale.

How About We have been innovators from the beginning. When its founders Brian Schechter and Aaron Schildkrout first started researching the online dating industry, they noticed a fundamental problem: online dating sites don't push people to meet offline and build relationships from there. In fact, the industry's success depends on members sitting in front of their laptops scrolling through endless profiles rather than forming real life relationships.

With this in mind, the founders created an innovative new way to date online - by taking it offline quickly. Members post and view first date ideas, rather than scrolling through dating profiles. An example might be, "How about we...go for a picnic in the park, followed by live music at North Bar?" If someone found that idea enticing, they'd connect with each other and set something up. The focus is not on the dating profiles, but on the real-life meeting.

The problem? It became too successful. Many users of How About We started to couple up, and the company started to lose members. But instead of messing with its success, the founders extended the basic premise of great date ideas to those who are already in relationships.

The How About We editorial team comes up with the date plan, which centers on fun new places to go and creating opportunities for the couples to really connect. If you want to upgrade, you can purchase their concierge service to have How About We plan your date down to the smallest detail, like delivering flowers or hiring car service for the night.

"We're curating the dates for our couple members. The concept is still the same, but we've become the experts," Schildkrout told news magazine Business Insider. "This really filled out the whole vision of the company, which isn't only about helping people fall in love, but also about helping people stay in love."

Looking for the best online dating site? There are many out there, but how do you know which sites are the ones most people are checking out? After all, you want a lot of choice when it comes to searching for love.

According to website Mashable.com, Yahoo has revealed the top 10 dating sites that people have searched for using their search engine. And surprisingly, OkCupid topped the list (with even more searches than standards like Match.com or eHarmony).

Another surprise? Men seem to be more interested in online dating, or at least, searching for sites and checking them out.

Here's the complete list:

OkCupid. This site tops the list, and maybe because their demographic skews younger and it's a little more engaging with members than some of the classic dating sites. Most of the searches were conducted by men (68%).

Match. This website is almost synonymous with online dating. It's been around a while, and is still going strong. Again, the majority of searches (73%) came from men.

MeetMe. A more casual site for dating and friendship, MeetMe is gaining marketshare when it comes to online dating. Or at least, people seem to be searching for the site. A hefty 67% of men (primarily from Arkansas, Kentucky and West Virginia) searched for it according to Yahoo.

Zoosk. This popular website touts is algorithms which allow members to "date smarter." Again, more than 70% of its searches came from men.

eHarmony. The go-to destination for those looking for committed relationships, eHarmony has remained near the top of the pack for a long time. Surprisingly, more men (54%) than women were searching for this website.

PlentyofFish. This dating site has a bit of a reputation, but that hasn't stopped people from checking it out. Formerly known for its "intimate encounters" section, POF has recently undergone an image change to focus on matching people with relationship potential.

JDate. The most popular site for those who are more religiously inclined, JDate has become the go-to source for Jewish singles. Not surprisingly, the most searches came from New Jersey, New York, and Florida, all with more concentrated Jewish populations.

Skout. Mobile apps also figured prominently into searches. Skout is a networking app that focuses on meeting people rather than having specific agendas for dating and relationships. Most of the searches for this site came from men (68%) residing in Texas, California, and Florida.

Christian Mingle. A popular religious-based dating site, Christian Mingle focuses on dating, friendships, and relationships. This is the only site that had more females searching for it, primarily from Texas, California and Pennsylvania.

Tinder. This mobile app was made popular by college students, a sort of "hot or not" version of online dating. With its easy-to-use and convenient set-up, the app has taken off among singles who like to see who's close by and wanting to meet a little more spontaneously.

There's big news coming out of the Coffee Meets Bagel camp: the free online dating site that provides one match every day at noon is expanding nationwide and releasing an iOS app.

Coffee Meets Bagel launched in New York City in 2012, when three sisters decided there must be a better way to date in the Big Apple. They created CMB based on three guiding principles:

1. Unless you want to tell others, your dating life should remain private.
2. Your friends are the best conduits for your dates.
3. Meeting quality people doesn't have to be so awkward or complicated.

Users sign up through Facebook and receive one match - a.k.a. a 'Bagel' - every day at noon that is somehow connected to them. Members then have a time limit in which to respond with a simple LIKE or PASS. If all goes well, Coffee and Bagel are put in touch via a private company texting line and magical breakfast-y sparks will fly.

Co-founder Dawoon Kang says that with the new iOS app, Coffee Meets Bagel is hoping to find the happy medium between traditional online dating services and the current trend of more casual dating apps. "We want to deliver you a very good-quality match, one that you would expect from subscription services, but with the fun of mobile apps," she told TechCrunch.

Coffee Meets Bagel is full of gamified elements that are bound to work well in a mobile context. Members earn 'coffee beans' in the app when they perform certain actions like inviting friends or filling out information. They can then use the beans to purchase special features, like the ability to return to a missed match or a score and ranking. Coffee beans can also be purchased separately.

After its successful launch in New York City, CMB expanded to Boston and San Francisco, followed by Chicago, Los Angeles, and Washington, D.C. The service is now being released to everyone, but the sisters warn that it could hit a few stumbling blocks along the way. In smaller cities with fewer users, the app may not be able to provide a daily match until word spreads and more local users have signed up.

"As we grow, our member base is going to become a lot more diverse," Kang says. "[We'll] have to refine the algorithm very quickly ... to be able to deliver a personal, relevant match." Coffee Meets Bagel has already made more than 1.5 million matches, so it sounds like that diversity isn't far off.

That's the question posed by Cliff Lerner, founder and CEO of SNAP Interactive, in a recent article on HuffPost.

Personally I like to think we've already decided that online dating is cool, but maybe I'm just trying to make myself feel better. Maybe the rest of the world isn't as on-board with the idea as the social and professional circles I run in. For those people, Lerner says, the launch of Graph Search could make all the difference.

When Graph Search was announced, online dating sites went a little bit insane. Some feared that because it could meaningfully connect singles through friends and common interests, it would mean the end of traditional dating sites. It even includes the option to search by "relationship status," making it clear that dating is a key element of the new feature.

"The concern," Lerner explains, "is that singles will gravitate more and more towards Facebook for their online dating needs since Facebook already has superior data and profiles and now is offering enhanced friend and interest-based search and matching functionality for singles."

But fear not, online dating sites, because Lerner also says that line of thinking "couldn't be more wrong."

Facebook's Graph Search could be a valuable opportunity for dating sites. Currently only 1 in 5 singles visit a dating site each month, and the biggest opportunity dating sites have for growth is to crush the stigma associated with them once and for all. The best way to get that remaining 80% of singles to log onto online dating sites is to make it seem as normal as possible.

Enter Graph Search, which subtly blends online dating functionality into the Facebook experience. With the addition of "social dating" to Facebook, a brand new crop of singles is being introduced to online dating in an understated, but effective, way. And once they get a taste of what it has to offer, there's a good chance they'll turn to online dating sites to get more out of the experience.

Voila - Facebook Graph Search might actually be doing the online dating industry a favor, not driving a nail into its figurative coffin.

"It's only a matter of time before the online dating industry says a huge "thank you" to Facebook for removing the online dating 'stigma,'" writes Lerner, "and thus enabling millions of more singles to enter the 'online dating' market, which will ultimately expose many new millions of singles to destination dating sites."