Dating Services

Not to brag or anything, but I think we ladies have it pretty good when it comes to the dating game. Sure, everybody has their ups and downs, but if we look at the way things are often run around here, we definitely seem to come out ahead in the online dating world.

Josh Fischer, the Director of Product Insights at SNAP Interactive, the company that owns Are You Interested, put together a collection of charts that shows exactly how women have the advantage over men on online dating sites. Each chart examines the probability that men and women respond to messages given the age of the message's sender.

The likelihood that an American woman responds to a man on AYI.com drops significantly as the age gap between them increases. The younger the man is, relative to the woman, the better shot he has. The probability of receiving a response peaks when the man is 7-8 years younger than the woman, and steadily declines from there.

The likelihood that an American man responds to a woman on AYI.com varies much more, and the response rates across all age differences are far higher. In fact, it actually dips the lowest when the man is 7-8 years younger than the woman. Merge the charts together, and they don't ever cross paths. Not even once.

Over all, AYI's charts show that, when comparing men and women responding to people their own age, women respond to men 4% of the time while men respond to women around 18% of the time. In other words, the vast majority of messages go unanswered regardless of age or gender.

It also means that the average straight man will have to send 25 messages to women his own age in order to receive one response, while the average straight woman will have to send just 5 messages. Hardly fair, if you ask me.

According to BusinessInsider.com, these conclusions can also be drawn from the data:

• A straight man's best bet is to go the Mrs. Robinson route. The 8-10% chance that a woman 10-8 years older than a man will respond to a message is double the rate of his own peers.
• The New York Jets have better odds of going to the Superbowl this year than men of a certain age have of getting a response from a woman ten years younger. Ouch.
• At worst, there's a 1 in 6 chance a man will respond to a woman's message regardless of her age. So go for it, ladies - you've clearly got nothing to lose.

In fact, it's so easy that I'm not sure it can be called hacking. It doesn't even have to be done intentionally - just one little oblivious click, and suddenly someone else is logged in under your username.

It works like this: when OkCupid sends you an email, any links included inside the email contain a unique identifier called a token. When you click the link, you are automatically logged into your OKCupid account without having to enter your password. The point is to make it as easy as possible to get into your account, but it also makes it worringly easy for someone else to do the same thing.

A writer at The Verge discovered the security hole after receiving a forwarded OkCupid email from a friend. After reading the funny message her friend had received from a prospective suitor, she clicked on the message to see the suitor in question.

"Suddenly," she writes, "I was in my friend's account, staring at all her read and unread messages. I could see her instant messages. I could edit her profile. Just because I had clicked on an email sent to her, OKCupid thought I was her."

Although your friends probably won't do anything unscrupulous if they land in that situation (you hope!), it might not be your friends who unexpectedly find themselves logged into your account. In another case, a woman blogged about an OKCupid user and included a link to his profile that she copied from her email. Unbeknownst to her, any reader who clicked on it would then be instantly logged in as her.

There may be a little karma involved here - because it doesn't seem very nice to publically blog about a user and include a link to their profile - but no one wants to give every stranger on the Internet access to their online dating profile. The token does expire eventually, but no one has yet determined how long it remains active.

Naturally, the OkCupid forums have exploded over this. In one discussion thread, a user writes "This totally defeats the purpose of having a password for the site. If anybody happens to be able to read my email, they are then able to see my full OkCupid account. Hello, what kind of account security is this?"

The thread has been active since 2009, so as incensed as OkCupid users may be, the site doesn't appear to be in a hurry to address the issue. Although "Login Instantly" is not a new feature, it is perhaps not the wisest choice for a social network, dating site, or other online destination that contains such personal information.

Think twice next time you're tempted to make fun of a fellow online dater by forwarding their hilarious message on to your friends. Stick to screencaps or - here's a really radical idea - just be nice and don't do it in the first place.

We first saw them in online dating profiles - photos that people took of themselves while standing in front of bathroom mirrors. Now technology has advanced and the practice has spread. People can view themselves on their smartphone screens, then pose, shoot, and post pictures to Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter within seconds.

Such pictures are called "selfies," and they've become a polarizing subject among social media users. According to a recent study out of the UK, posting selfies can have a negative impact on your relationships.

The UK research team evaluated people's posting habits, particularly in regard to self photographs, and if the practice could potentially affect how others view them. Since Facebook pages typically include a wide range of people - from friends to family to work colleagues to acquaintances and high school classmates - how they view profiles varies greatly. Selfies were considered the worst type of pictures to post in terms of what people prefer to see.

In addition, posting too many selfies were found to hurt romantic relationships, too. Researchers found that users who posted selfies were more likely to report feeling less supported by their relationship partners. In the majority of these cases, their partners tended to post pictures of families and family events. Researchers reasoned that the difference between the types of photos people posted could explain why one person in the relationship feels less supported than the other.

Based on the finding of the study, researchers agreed that it would be a good idea to talk about your social media practices before entering into a relationship. If you tend to take selfies and it turns your partner off, it could be a source of conflict as the relationship progresses.

Good communication is the foundation of a good relationship, even your online communication with your circle of friends and family. If you're posting a lot of selfies on Facebook and Instagram, others could conclude that you want a lot of attention and it turns them off. Your partner might feel that you'll dish about your relationship, the good and the bad, which is nobody else's business. Others might get annoyed at your posts clogging up their Facebook feeds.

Whatever the case, too many self photographs are a definite turn-off among users of social media according to the study, and often they can detract from a relationship. Instead of turning inward and posting on social media, talk to your partner if you're not getting what you need. Work on your relationship together, offline.

We Just got word that eHarmony in Canada and the United States will be having a free communication weekend starting Thursday, September 26th and ending Sunday night on September 29th. This 4 day event allows members to create a profile, view your matches, and communicate with those matches through the guided communication process and email.

Summer is almost over and with the season change comes new optimism for love. This makes it an ideal time for new singles interested in trying online dating to check out a popular service for free. eHarmony is designed to foster long-term relationships between it's members. They do this by having carefully chosen profile questions that are based on 29 dimensions of compatibility. While there are a lot of questions which take the average person about 40 minutes to answer it is recommended you take your time and answer each question to the best of your ability. The answers to these questions are then used by eHarmony's super secret 😊 matching algorithm to generate you a list of high quality matches. Once you review your matches your job is to then select the ones you like on a personal level and then start the communication process with them. Free communication at eHarmony during this event does not include photos in profiles, secure calls over your phone, or skipping the guided communication process.

For more detailed information on eHarmony you can read our review. The last free eHarmony communication weekend was the September long weekend (see Story).

2013 didn't start out well for Cupid plc, the top-5 global online dating company that's responsible for a network of dating sites including Cupid.com. Cupid came under fire for allegedly using fake profiles to boost its membership, after the BBC claimed that members of Cupid's online dating services suspected fake "flirtatious" messages were being used to encourage free users to sign up for paid subscriptions.

Cupid plc denied using fakes and said it was cleared of the allegations by auditors. According to Cupid, the auditors found "no evidence of a company organised practice of staff enticing registered members to subscribe through the use of fake profiles."

The experiences of members and undercover investigators suggest otherwise, and users are still (rightfully) suspicious, but some good news has finally come out of the Cupid camp.

Cupid recently launched 'safe mode' functionality for its network of dating sites. The update still allows users to choose who they want to interact with, but provides the added security of being able to filter out members who choose not to verify themselves on the site. With 'safe mode' on, you can contact any user but will only receive communications from members who have undergone the verification process. Unverified users are welcome to continue using the site, but are encouraged to become "Trusted Members" to unlock access to people already using 'safe mode.'

For some reason, at this point, 'safe mode' is only available for male users and only female members are asked to become verified. Cupid hopes that the new technology will create a "smoother" and "more positive" online experience for its users and...well...I certainly can't blame them for hoping. Cupid needs any boost it can get at this point.

"We have listened to our customers and to dating website users in general," says Sean Wood, Communications Director at Cupid plc. "The main goal here is to give our customers choice to decide who they communicate with. This means they can choose verified users only or indeed if they feel comfortable with communicating more widely, then they have that ability too. Our members can use the sites secure in the knowledge that they are in a safe environment where they can get on with enjoying the experience, making contacts and meeting up."

Right. So...Cupid customers are safe from each other, but the real question is: are they safe from Cupid itself?

Guys, are you looking for a virtual wingman? How about someone who always seems to date the hottest women around? Antonio Sabato Jr.'s new blog may be the answer to getting your love life on track and improving your pick-up skills in the dating department.

Sabato has launched a new dating advice blog for men through the matchmaking site AnastasiaDate.com entitled: Under the Sheets: Tips from A Celebrity Wingman. Utilizing his skills from dating celebrities like Pamela Anderson, Madonna, and Jennifer Love Hewitt, Sabato provides tools, techniques, and tips to finding and wooing the woman of your dreams.

His partnership with AnastasiaDate.com is no doubt influencing his opinions. Instead of advising men on how to pick up women at bars, he's advising how to speak to them online. "Guys today are taking the wrong approach to dating - from how to speak to a woman to where to meet her," he says. "They just don't get it, and somehow they still think that the best way to meet women is in a crowded bar or sweaty dance club. They don't understand that dating has evolved way beyond that these days, especially online where the options are endless, and men truly can find their perfect match."

Sabato's first post shows that he's not just relying on his good looks and six-pack abs, but on his conversational and flirting skills, too. "How to flirt" provides tips on how to strike up a conversation that holds her attention, and I must admit he's spot on in his assessment. He claims that men tend to provide facts about themselves to attract women, whereas women are looking for that emotional connection or spark.

"To women, that fact-based conversation is boring. They've had it a hundred times with a hundred other guys. You, though, are going to be different. Always start a conversation with banter - make it fun," he writes.

He then goes on to provide two examples of conversations - one that will likely go nowhere and another that is more engaging and flirtatious. Of course, it seems like a no-brainer when you look at them both, but how many times have you opted for the "safer" route when engaging with someone new? "Where are you from?" is an easy question to ask because it doesn't require work. But when you're online, you have access to a lot of information because you can read the profile of a potential date. He advises that you show that you have been paying attention and ask questions that relate to her interests like, "what made you take that trip to Fiji a few months ago?" You'll get a lot further.

You can read more of Sabato's dating advice on AnastasiaDate.com.