Dating Services

There’s no doubt that Tinder has changed online dating. Instead of checking profiles on our laptops in the privacy of our homes, Tinder has turned swiping and judging potential dates into a game that people share openly. In fact, it’s become an addiction for some. Even when they meet a date they like, that they want to keep swiping and seeing who else is out there.

In fact, having so many choices has turned us into dating “robots,” according to one essay in The New Inquiry. That is, on Tinder, people mindlessly swipe. Perhaps they message a few people, or arrange to go out on a few dates, but the intention when using Tinder is not to focus on building a relationship, but on swiping. In fact, they argue that being on Tinder is promoting the idea of being “chill” and conveying to your dates that you have no expectations with a date leading to anything (even if you do).

In fact, being “chill” is such a prominent part of dating app culture, that people have essentially taught themselves that their feelings should be removed from the equation, in order to be open to even more opportunities. More is better, right? Online daters have become “emotionally disassociated,” as the authors of “Tinderization of Feeling” argue, simply because it’s so emotionally draining to look at so many photos, have so many options – because what happens if you make the wrong choice? What happens if you emotionally invest in a date only to have them reject you?

Today, rejection seems almost intolerable, though rejection historically has been a natural part of dating. But if you make the date feel more casual – i.e. a “hang” or just meeting someone for 20 minutes before you start swiping again – there's no real rejection. You will always be looking for the next, better option, instead of having regret over not dating someone. Because….what if there’s someone better?

The authors of The New Inquiry article argue the problem all comes down to having too many choices. They say: “Living with a sense of overwhelming choice means exerting an insane amount of emotional energy in making the most banal decisions.” People can barely make a decision about what to watch on Netflix, there are so many options…it’s no different with dating. So with Tinder, the swiping becomes a game, because we don’t leave any room for more complexity and the intricacies involved with getting to know someone and developing true feeling for them – we don’t know how to deal with a potential date beyond the yes/no initial factor.

So, swipe, message, meet, maybe sleep with, then move on becomes the norm.

But you can choose differently. You can have control over how you want to date by taking more time and getting to know your dates. By rejecting the yes/no one-second response time of Tinder in favor of a more considered approach. What if you took your time, and invested emotionally in the potential of one of your dates? What if you took a risk?

Love doesn't just happen without effort, without risk. If you want to keep swiping and dating, you'll probably end up in a series of unfulfilling, emotionless flings. But if you put yourself out there? The rewards and risks are much greater. But isn't that the point of love?

There is a better and more effective way to date. You just have to be willing to get past all the swiping and figure it out in person, on a real date. You have to be willing to risk rejection - real rejection - as well as love.

For more about this dating app, please read our review of Tinder.

Happn, a France-based dating app that uses geolocation to connect singles who cross paths in everyday life, has reached a major milestone: 10 million members.

The app works much like Tinder, but on a hyperlocal scale. When you walk by another user, their profile is added to the top of your feed. Every potential match you see was near you at some point during the day. The more you scroll, the further back in time you go. Tap a heart to like the profiles that catch your eye and dismiss the rest by tapping a cross. If there's a mutual match, you can start chatting for free.

“When we launched Happn in 2014, we aimed to fill a void in the online dating scene by offering a way for people to connect with those they’ve crossed paths with in real-life – and really, a way to put the spontaneity back into dating,” said co-founder and CEO Didier Rappaport, in a statement.

The strategy seems to be working. Happn is reportedly on track to reach 30 million users by the end of the year.

Millions of happy daters aren't the only big news for the app. Happn has also announced a new voice feature that will allow users to send audio recordings up to one minute long to each other. Happn hopes that the clips will make it easier for users to showcase their unique personalities before meeting up.

Rappaport said in a statement: "This new voice feature provides our members with another opportunity to connect on a more personal level and create meaningful relationships."

To use the new feature, click the mic icon that now appears inside a conversation chain. Hold the button down while recording and release it to finish. When it's complete, you can either send the message or cancel it. On the receiving end, a user simply needs to click on a recording to listen to it. The feature has already rolled out to all iOS and Android users.

Rappaport told Business Insider last November that a number of new features are planned for Happn in hopes of catching up with rival Tinder. "For us, the evolution of our product is really important," he said. "We want to make a service that is more and more rich for our users and one that allows them to express themselves much more."

"The voice is something that is very emotional," he continued. "Just listening to the voice of someone else can give you a lot of impression."

As for what else the future holds for Happn, we'll have to wait and see.

Just when you thought the good old days of OkTrends were gone, and you'd resigned yourself to a life without the pithy, humorous, occasionally scandalous insights of the blog, OkCupid has launched something new: The Deep End.

Yes, that long awaited moment has finally come. OkCupid is back to blogging and anyone with a love of dating and data is squirming with joy. To kick things off, The Deep End released The Hangover, a look back on the trends and lessons that 2015 left behind. Here are some of its most interesting insights:

The Fifty Shades Effect

In typical boundary-pushing OkCupid fashion, the report starts with Americans' sex lives. Oregon took the crown for most users looking for casual flings, followed by Washington. At the opposite end of the sexual spectrum, users in Utah, South Dakota, and Idaho were the most likely to be virgins. Across the board, OkCupid users are looking to explore their kinky sides. Fifty-eight percent indicated an interest in bondage in 2015, up 5% from the year before.

Emoji Extravaganza

Love them or hate them, emojis are here to stay. The two most popular emojis on OkCupid were simple smiley faces, with the top spot going to the little guy with eyebrows. Unsurprisingly on a dating site, the winky face also scored highly. It came in third, followed by the heart eyes emoji. Beyond the classic faces, users loved the cake, coffee and pizza emojis, as well as the see-no-evil monkey.

Read Between The Lines

When not expressing themselves in modern hieroglyphs, OkCupid users ventured into verbal territory (with varying degrees of success). The Deep End found that a message simply saying “hey” had an 84% chance of being ignored in 2015. Other words from the millennial lexicon exploded last year. Use of “bae” doubled in frequency from 2014 to 2015, while “fleek,” “dad bod,” and “ghosting” made their first appearances in 2015.

Top Of The Pops

Dating and pop culture collided in 2015 with one ubiquitous phrase: Netflix and chill. The once harmless combination of words took on a new meaning last year, and use of the phrase in OkCupid messages rose 5,357% as a result. In other pop culture news, Taylor Swift replaced Miley Cyrus as the most mentioned pop star, while Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part II and Avengers: Age of Ultron dominated the movie mentions.

Where will we be at the end of 2016? The Deep End predicts a world that is increasingly progressive, in which racial bias is a serious dealbreaker for daters and, if OkCupid users have their way, a Democrat is elected to the White House.

“What we don’t yet know,” the https://www.okcupid.com/deep-end/the-hangover concludes, “are all of the sexy and bizarre ways we’ll connect in the new year.”

Recipient of Gold
Match.com

Recipient of Silver
eHarmony

Recipient of Bronze
Christian Mingle

The 2015 Dating Sites Reviews Single's Choice Award poll was launched on October 1st, 2015. By the beginning of January, 2016 when we closed the poll it had 459 people cast their votes. For the first question of the poll, it asked our visitors what paid dating site or app would you recommend for the Single's Choice Award. This question had 8 possible answers and included the top dating services of 2015. For this award the top voted service receives Gold, followed by Silver, and for third most voted site, Bronze.

The recipient of the Gold 2015 Single's Choice Award is Match.com. Match.com grew in popularity again this year and received 8% more votes than last year. For 2015 Match received 148 votes which is 32.24% of all votes cast.

The recipient of the Silver 2015 Single's Choice Award is eHarmony. eHarmony received 85 votes which is 18.52% of the total votes cast. This is roughly the same percentage of votes they had last year. This dating service continues to grow and launched several localized versions of their dating service in the past year.

The recipient of the Bronze 2015 Single's Choice Award is Christian Mingle. Christian Mingle received 60 votes which works out to 13.07% of all votes cast and 3% more votes than last year. This dating service continues to attract members thanks in part to a new and approved dating app which launched last year combined with a revamped web site.

Here are this year's standings for the Single's Choice award for all dating sites in the poll.

1. Match.com
2. eHarmony
3. Christian Mingle
4. Fitness Singles
5. OurTime.com
6. Are You Interested
7. Zoosk
8. Badoo

We would like to thank all our visitors who cast a vote this year for our Single’s Choice Award. The results of this award help guide our users to choose the best dating site or dating app for them. Each of the winning services receives a award badge on their review showcasing their accomplishments. All award winners are also added to the 2015 Award category.

From the first date, to the first kiss, to your first time between the sheets, every new relationship is marked by a series of milestones. Every one you reach is thrilling and nerve-racking, and daters have wondered since the beginning of time how to hack the system.

A new survey from Match.com attempts to answer the question of when it's the 'right' time to cross each milestone. More than 2,000 men and women in the UK were surveyed in attempt to map out the journey of the average (as much as any relationship can be 'average') long-term relationship. Here's what they found.

Within Two Weeks

The Match.com chart starts at the logical beginning: the first date. According to Match's research, the first kiss happens immediately. In the next one to two weeks, a budding couple will hold hands for the first time. They will also sleep together for the first time in that period, although they won't stay the night.

Within A Month

After the two-week point, things take a slightly more serious turn. A new couple will get undressed in front of each other – but only with the lights off – within a month. They will also introduce each other to their respective best friends.

Within Six Months

The relationship solidifies over the first six months together. Couples buy each other their first birthday presents and begin to call each other boyfriend and girlfriend. At five months comes one of the biggest milestones of all: saying 'I love you.' After that, the realities of a life together begin to sink in. Couples have their first argument around 170 days, reveal imperfections around 173 days, and introduce each other to parents before six months are up.

Within A Year

Couples become increasingly permanent fixtures in each other's lives during the first year. After six months have gone by, they are comfortable leaving toothbrushes at each other's bathrooms and having a drawer in each other's homes. Then comes the travel. At 204 days, they'll go away for a night together and at 298 days they'll take an entire vacation. Within a year, it's time to have a serious conversation about the future.

Over A Year

The biggest life milestones come after the one-year mark is reached. The average couple gets engaged at 743 days (around 2 years), gets a pet at 813 days, and buys a home together just before they reach three years. The average marriage comes at 1190 days, just over three years. Finally, the average couple has their first child together at 1422 days, after three years and 11 months together.

View the full flowchart from Match.com here and check our our Match.com review.

eHarmony has setup a free communication trial which starts Wednesday morning on February 10th and runs for 5 days until the evening of Monday February the 15th. This event is for both the United States and Canada.

To be able to participate in the trial an eHarmony account is required. So if you haven't done it already, all you need to do is create a free eHarmony membership and fill out the profile questionnaire. No credit card is required. When you do fill out the profile make sure you have 30 to 40 minutes as there are a number of multiple choice questions. You can save a partially answered questionnaire and continue on later, but I always find it is better to finish it in one sitting. Also, make sure you have a few photos picked out for your profile before hand. A head shot for your main profile photo is good along with a few more photo's showing yourself having fun.

Once your profile and questionnaire is complete, eHarmony will then send you about 5 matches right away. These matches are created by the eHarmony matching algorithm which is based on years of research by eHarmony Labs. The information from your profile and questionnaire about what you want in a partner along with what best matches with your personality traits is used to figure out what eHarmony members, when matched to you, have the best chance of creating a long-term and happy relationship.

eHarmony free communication trials happen about once a month. The dating site and app (which is available both for the iPhone and Android devices) is always extra busy during this time especially in February when Valentine's Day is fast approaching. Features not included during the trial include skipping the guided communication process and going straight to email. The guided communication process is where you and your match each answer a couple of questions about yourself. These questions are picked out by you and your match and are designed to help break the ice before you start writing to each other via email. Viewing of profile photos is also only available to paying members during this event.

For more details about this popular dating matchmaking service, you can read our eHarmony review.