Dating Services

Are you looking for something a little different when it comes to meeting new people? In New York, there's a new twist on the coffee date that you might want to try.

Instead of asking one of your online matches to meet over a cup of coffee, what if you just cut to the chase and met potential dates directly through your local barista? Nancy Slotnik believes a more personal touch is needed when it comes to meeting potential romantic partners, and so she founded Matchmaker Café in New York.

Single customers are invited to drop by her pop-up café in the Financial District and check in with the barista, who also acts as the matchmaker. If you're interested in meeting people, the barista takes your picture and adds it to her database.

It's not exactly hand-picked matchmaking though. The matches are made with the help of technology, not a yenta. Matchmaker Café provides a database and an app to help you sift through your choices, which isn't such a personal touch. But what else would you do as you drink your coffee before your 9am meeting?

Customers have a number of ways of browsing the database of potential coffee date matches. You can subscribe to Matchmaker Café's online app, which launched last November and offers in-person introductions by a matchmaker. (Information for your dating profile is pulled from your Facebook account.) There are currently about 3,000 members. If you're feeling really motivated, you can also pay $5 for three phone introductions or $10 for ten, until the pop-up café closes on Labour Day.

According to Slotnick, the idea is to connect locals with each other and get them offline and meeting face to face, even if it's just for a brief coffee.

Considering all of the mobile dating apps available to meet people nearby, this is another interesting concept to get singles in the same area, who stop by the same neighborhood cafes and pubs, to meet each other face to face. Not many people know their neighbors as well as they know the people in their Twitter feeds. Maybe pop-up concepts like Matchmaker Café can help to change that.

This isn't Slotnick's first attempt at matchmaking via coffee. In 1996, she founded Drip Café, which let customers sift through binders of dating profiles. If a guest found someone he or she wanted to meet, then for a small fee, the café would help arrange a meeting.

People have mixed reactions to the café, but it is getting a lot of buzz and already has gained a following. Would you visit a pop-up café like this one?

New surveys from married dating site (what a nice way to put it) AshleyMadison.com have revealed what cheaters really want.

In a surprise twist, the answer is not just "some extra-marital action." Nope, it turns out that Ashley Madison's unfaithful clientele is actually looking for a very specific kind of extracurricular experience.

When it comes to infidelity, it's all about class.

• 83.1% of middle-class male Ashley Madison members want to cheat with a working-class woman.
• 51.8% of upper-class men are looking for a middle-class woman.
• 42.4% of upper-class men are seeking a working class-woman for an affair.

"Despite the changing socio-economic landscape, men across the board still want to be the Alpha partner in a relationship," says Noel Biderman, Ashley Madison founder and CEO. "Men want someone to admire and look up to them, someone they can impress because fundamentally most men lack confidence."

For women, it's a different story.

• 7% of female Ashley Madison members who describe themselves as 'working class' say they are looking for an upper class affair partner.

"This is a reflection of economic hard times as much as confirmation of traditional class stereotypes," Biderman offers by way of explanation. "For women who are struggling financially...a fling with an upper-class man represents glamour and escape, a holiday from daily life, perhaps an element of security."

Middle class women are in a class of their own.

• Only 40.7% of middle-class women on the site say they would prefer an affair with an upper-class man.
• 53.6% specified that they would prefer to philander within the middle class.

Biderman has the following words of wisdom to offer on women of the middle class: "Middle-class women are more likely to be financially independent and better educated, their needs are different. They want intimacy and shared experience with an equal rather than to be swept off their feet, Jane Austen style."

There's no word on what upper class women want because...I guess they don't exist? Is that what Noel Biderman is trying to tell me? Is this the "Women earn 70 cents for every dollar a man earns" thing at play? None of us make enough money to be considered upper class cheaters?

The wage gap at work, folks. Someone had better sort out the equal pay for women issue stat, so we can get in on the upper crust infidelity action too!

If I had my way, every day would be International Kissing Day.

But seeing as I have not yet used my Pinky and the Brain-like powers to take over the world, we're stuck with International Kissing Day happening only once a year.

To celebrate this year's event, Zoosk surveyed more than 3,500 singles around the U.S. to gather their thoughts on kissing. You may never have been curious about the most memorable kisses in pop culture, the best kissing spots around the country, and the most popular songs to kiss to, but you're about to find out what they are anyway.

The top three songs to kiss to are...

1. 21% of singles say "Could I Have This Kiss Forever" by Whitney Houston & Enrique Iglesias is the best song to kiss to.
2. 17% of singles choose "A Kiss From A Rose" by Seal.
3. 12% of singles choose "Blow Me One Last Kiss" by Pink.

[Ok, I do kinda have a soft spot for that last one, but...really? Have any of those Zooskers actually listened to the song? It's about a breakup. An ugly one. Not exactly the most romantic choice for a makeout soundtrack...]

The most memorable on-screen lip locks of the summer are marginally better chosen:

1. 41% of singles say Tony and Pepper's kiss in "Iron Man 3" was the most memorable of this summer's blockbuster flicks.
2. 23% of singles say Spock and Uhura in "Star Trek Into Darkness."
3. 21% of singles say Alan and Cassie in "The Hangover III" shared this summer's most memorable on-screen kiss.

The places singles most like to get their smooch on are:

1. The beach: 30%.
2. In a car: 23%
3. In front of a roaring fireplace: 15%
4. On a carriage ride in New York's Central Park: 14%

[I have a lot of questions and concerns here, but...I won't go there.]

And finally, Zoosk collected a few random kissing facts (in case the first three weren't random enough already):

1. 73% of singles say they dated someone who was a bad kisser.
2. 77% of singles say they have rubbed noses, Eskimo style, to show affection.
3. 83% of singles prefer to kiss with their eyes closed.
4. 59% of singles say the most memorable kiss in recent political history was President Obama kissing his wife on election night (soundly beating the famous passionate kiss Al Gore gave his wife Tipper at the Democratic National Convention).
5. 71% of Americans say it is more awkward to see world leaders kissing vs. watching a politician kiss his or her spouse.

The scenario: You've met a woman you find incredibly attractive. You've been dating for a few weeks, and are considering a relationship. The problem? She posts constantly about her personal life on social media, and checks Facebook and Instagram constantly, which makes you a little uncomfortable. What will she say about you?

Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and other social media sites have become a huge part of our lives. Most of us regularly check in. But we all have different levels of comfort with what and how much we share.

If you're in your twenties, you're more likely to friend someone before the first date, and you're more likely to share aspects of your life over social media. There isn't such a divide between your virtual presence and your real life, because the Internet and social media have been ever-present. So it might be harder to discern where the line is when you discuss your love life. For instance, do you blog, Tweet, or share stories on Facebook about your dates? Do you look at someone's relationship status before her ring finger? Do you like to post photos of you and your dates on Instagram?

Social media can play a large role in developing relationships, so it's important to discuss how you will use it if you decide to take your relationship to the next level.

Maybe you're worried because your girlfriend checks her Facebook page when she first wakes up in the morning, or because her Instagram account is full of pictures of her getting drunk with friends. Before you make assumptions about her online behavior going forward, it's important to discuss what makes you uncomfortable and set some boundaries as far as what you'll share online.

For instance, let her know that you love her blog, but you don't want to be the subject of any posts, positive or negative. Talk about your relationship status in person before you make decisions about what it is on Facebook. Maybe you're fine with her posting pictures of her meals, travel, or friends on Instagram, but you're uncomfortable with her keeping a visual record of every date. Talk it out. Together you can decide where the boundaries are, what you can compromise on, and what will make both of you happy.

Bottom line: if you're uncomfortable with how much or the content of what your girlfriend shares, let her know. Don't expect her to have the same opinions or judgments as you do. Everyone is a little different when it comes to what they are willing to expose and the stories they wish to tell publicly. So don't make assumptions based on what you think is right. Discuss how much you want to share of your love life over social media.

Oh, Ashley Madison...what a confusing phenomenon you are.

On one hand, I am a firm believer that monogamy is not for everyone and a strong supporter of open relationships of all shapes and sizes.

On the other hand, my support of (ethical, honest) nonmonogamy has made me even less tolerant of those who don't choose to be ethical and honest about their extracurriculars.

On a third hand, my entrepreneurial spirit can't bring itself to completely condemn someone who saw a hole in the market, filled it, and is no doubt raking in the big bucks because of it. People are going to cheat whether or not I like it - someone might as well be making money off their infidelity.

Ashley Madison has been celebrating successes left and right so, begrudgingly, I think I might have to let the third hand win out. Maybe part of me is just bitter I didn't have the idea first.

In July, the infamous cheating website reached a major milestone: its 20 millionth member. And here's the real kicker: that makes its membership larger than the entire population of New York State. The 20 millionth member comes after a year of unprecedented growth for the site which, says AshleyMadison.com CEO Noel Biderman, "proves that infidelity is a universal business."

Just how universal? Ashley Madison is one of the fastest growing dating site, with one new member joining every six seconds. The dating service has also experienced an increase of over 15% in mobile usage a year and expanded to include Ashley Madison Blackbook, an app that allows affair seekers to maintain anonymity beyond emails with a private phone line for discreet texting and phone calls.

More recently, Ashley Madison is expanding its global reach (already 27 countries) to include Japan, the site's first launch in Asia. As of July 1, 2013, four days after it debuted in the new country, Ashley Madison Japan had already logged 230,000 visits and 70,000 members.

"This might be bigger here than in America," Biderman told The Wall Street Journal. "We totally underestimated the desire here." The biggest challenge the site faces now is marketing - word of mouth isn't exactly a viable option when users are looking to keep their cheating under wraps. "We're going to position ourselves as a marriage-saving site," Biderman added, "a social network for married people. I think they'll understand that concept."

A 'marriage-saving site?' If you say so, Biderman, if you say so. After all, who am I to argue with the man who proudly announced that his company has "become the 'Kleenex of cheating?'"

Friending someone on Facebook before your first date might be more acceptable than you think, according to a recent survey by Mashable.com.

One out of four people send a friend request before the first date, according to the responses of 3,000 participants who were asked what they found acceptable in regard to dating in the digital age. Roughly 39% of college-aged participants friend request before the first date, but then the number drops to 26.2% for 20-somethings and 16.4% for those in their thirties. For all ages, only 12.5% prefer to wait until you mutually decide on relationship exclusivity.

So what does this mean for your Facebook profile? Since friending early on in the dating trajectory seems to be the trend, it's important to know what you post on your page and make sure to adjust your privacy settings. If you've been ranting about your awful ex boyfriend or posting drunk photos with your friends, you might be putting off potential dates. Most of us don't take the time to filter each post, but if you're choosing to friend virtual strangers before you've even started to date, you might want to consider the importance of your digital first impression.

And what about announcing your relationship status on Facebook? As it turns out, women are slightly more reluctant than men to do so. Almost 79% of women say they must be mutually exclusive in a relationship before posting, whereas only 63.5% of men agree. Over 19% of men say that they would become Facebook official after multiple dates compared with only 10% of women.

Do you check your phone on a date? Has it become a more acceptable practice? Not really, according to respondents. Over 50% say that you should never check your phone on a first date, or only if it's an emergency. However, 37% are willing to check their phones if a date has left the room. No age group was okay with checking your phone whenever you wanted while on a date.

Another statistic that was intriguing: despite our culture's increasing preference for texting vs. calling someone, more people in their twenties, thirties and forties prefer a call over a text from someone they just met and who might be interested in dating. There was a bit of a gap among the age groups however. Twenty-three percent of women in their twenties preferred a phone call compared to 15% who thought a text message was acceptable. But for women in their forties, 47% felt that a phone call was an acceptable way to follow up with someone compared to only 7.7% who felt that texting was okay.