Dating Services

It turns out Oscar Wilde was right when he wrote "Life imitates Art far more than Art imitates Life." At least, he was right about eHarmony, a century before the dating service even existed. Believe it or not, eHarmony's newest matching service, eH+, was inspired by Hollywood.

In 2012, Grant Langston, eHarmony's Vice President of Content and Customer Experience, was given the script to a new film called The Secret Life of Walter Mitty. He'd been given the script because 20th Century Fox had written eHarmony into the story, and wanted the company's cooperation in making its fictionalized service as accurate as possible.

Langston found that the eHarmony portrayed in the movie was nothing like the eHarmony he knew in real life. Once he discovered that Ben Stiller and Kristen Wiig would take on the starring roles, he knew something had to be done. He couldn't let such major movie stars, who were bound to draw a large audience, promote an incorrect version of the website. Instead, he saw the film as an opportunity to launch a premium service within eHarmony and make the real-life dating service match up with the one that moviegoers would see on screen.

So eHarmony set out to build the service that was written in the script. In the film, Ben Stiller's Walter Mitty character speaks on the phone with his "eHarmony counselor," who guides him through the process by helping him to build a great profile and coaching him when he hits stumbling blocks. It didn't take long for Langston to see the value in offering a similar service on the real site.

"I began to understand Walter's attraction to this version of eHarmony," he wrote on the company blog. "You're talking to a human being who cares about your success. That's nice. This person is reaching out to you and listening to your feedback. Who wouldn't love that? Your counselor is helping you avoid the pitfalls that are common problems for many people. It's like having a guardian angel!"

The new service was christened eH+ and ideas quickly began flowing. "What if eH+ users were FREE from having to log onto the computer? FREE!" Langston continued. "What if eH+ users could avoid rejection? WHAT?! That's like fat-free bacon. What if eH+ users had a level of privacy virtually unknown in the online dating world?" They may not be things Walter Mitty needed in the film, but they were certainly things that real-life users would love.

And now, when moviegoers leave the theater after seeing The Secret Life of Walter Mitty this winter, they will be able to sign on to eHarmony and receive the same exclusive service as Ben Stiller himself.

Julie Spira has come a long way since she created her first online dating profile nearly 20 years ago. She is now a dating coach and leading online dating expert, as well as the best-selling author of two books: The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online and The Rules of Netiquette: How to Mind Your Digital Manners.

Each year, Spira and her team curate a list of the latest and greatest mobile dating apps on the market. With the current explosion of mobile dating, it couldn't come at a better time.

Who made it onto this year's Cyber-Dating Expert Top 10 Mobile Dating Apps list? Let's find out.

HowAboutWe is about to take over the world - literally.

The dating service has announced the launch of the first internationalized versions of its iOS application. Though the web-based version of HowAboutWe already had international users, the app was only available in English, significantly limiting its reach. Now it's available in 15 new languages that cover more than 30 countries, including France, Russia, and Japan.

And it gets even better. The company says it's also making all features in the mobile application available for free to international users. (Sorry, America, you still have to pay. Premium features for United States-based users, like unlimited membership, will continue to cost between $8 and $35 per month.) In addition to full access to all of the exclusive features offered to American HowAboutWe members, global users will also enjoy:

• Browsing date ideas suggested by local singles
• Finding people who want to meet in person
• Checking out profiles and full-screen photos
• Posting their favorite nearby places as date ideas - instantly
• Seeing who's online now, nearby

When asked why the company was choosing to offer services entirely for free, HowAboutWe's head of PR, Jade Clark, explained that their primary concern is to extend their reach as a brand and become an established figure in a new market before weighing monetization options.

HowAboutWe isn't just planning to bring its emphasis on real-world activities to the international stage. Half a million members are signed up for HowAboutWe for Couples. When asked about mobile and international plans for the couple's product, Clark adds that the company is working to expand their mobile offerings and plans to make some major announcements in the early parts of 2014.

To celebrate the launch of the app around the world, co-founder and co-CEO Aaron Schildkrout posted a guide to his blog called "10 Things You Need To Know Before Internationalizing Your App." I'll spare you the details, because many of them are quite technical, but Schildkrout did speak of the challenges that come from language barriers and different cultural expectations. His final piece of advice is something we can all understand, regardless of your location: "It will always take 3x longer than you think!"

I'm intrigued by this new development. Just think of all the opportunities for cross-cultural connections that might now be possible. Imagine being an American tourist in a foreign land, connecting with locals (and possible tour guides) using the same dating app you're already familiar with. It could add a whole new dimension to travel.

For more on this service you can read our HowAboutWe review

Are you addicted to Tinder? There's a new social dating app called Charm that takes the Tinder approach to a new level - this time with videos instead of pictures.

Charm was created as a stand-alone app by the makers of MeetMe, formerly MyYearbook. MeetMe has marketed itself primarily as a social app where people could meet for friendship as well as dating. Charm is its next offering, giving those who prefer dating-specific apps a new way of sifting through potential dates with one swipe of a thumb.

Co-founder Geoff Cook has been impressed with the way Tinder has taken off. But he's not convinced that using pictures to determine whether or not to date someone is a good idea, because pictures can be so misleading. So instead, Charm offers the same easy yes/no swipe feature as Tinder, but instead of using pictures as a way to decide who to date, members view short, looping videos. MeetMe has marketed the product by positioning against Tinder, including creating a slogan that reads: "Because you are so much more than a profile pic!"

The videos on Charm are easy to create - just hold your thumb to the screen and record, similar to Vine, another social dating app. And like Vine, the video plays on a loop.

Each video clip is between six to ten seconds in length, allowing users to show off a skill, deliver a smooth pick-up line or perform a short sketch. If you're unsure of how best to present yourself, Charm advises that: "people who are happy and friendly get the best response."

While Cook maintains this is a better way to meet people than with a pictures-only app, there is something intimidating about making a video. It puts you more on display - there's not much to hide (or Photoshop), and video can display your personality and quirks, giving people a much more intimate view of who you are without ever meeting you. Plus, you have to come up with a creative way of promoting yourself without being shy - which could end up being misleading in its own way, as one of the videos showed a guy twerking while in a handstand position. Does he really do that in his everyday life? This might not click with some daters, who prefer the ease and relative anonymity of Tinder.

For now, the company is keeping Charm as a standalone app, rather than making it a feature of MeetMe. However, Cook says that down the line, some of the functionality of this app could make its way to MeetMe or other standalone apps. The company plans to release three more apps over the next six months.

Would you consider bribing someone to go out with you, say with a nice dinner or skydiving trip? According to Brandon Wade, an MIT graduate and founder of a new matchmaking app called Carrot Dating, most men would.

The idea behind the app (and its name) is that users can "dangle a carrot" in exchange for getting women to go out with them. (In fairness, the site claims that both men and women can accept or offer gifts in exchange for a date.)

Users can accept gifts or activities for a first date, from something as expensive as plastic surgery or as minimal as a tank of gas.

Most of the reviews for the new service have been skeptical, if not downright hostile regarding the purpose of the app.

Business Insider's Christina Sterbenz wrote in a scathing review, "through Carrot Dating, users (but really men)... can buy credits to send "gifts" to other users ... so they'll agree to a first date. That sounds quite like an activity illegal in most of the continental US - prostitution." She goes on to say that, "in fact, this problematic app is teaching men that women are greedy idiots who can't see through blatant and pathetic misogyny."

Wade has a different opinion however, especially when it comes to online dating. He maintains that women constantly get messaged while men struggle to get even one response. This is a way to level the playing field, to ensure that men get what they desire, too, instead of just messaging and hoping.

"Online dating is a superficial game," the Carrot Dating site claims. "With Carrot Dating, you won't get rejected before you even get a chance. Convince singles that spending time with you is worth it by making an offer that they simply cannot refuse."

But does this approach work in the real world, especially if you're looking for a real relationship and not just a pretty date?

Not likely. Some experts have chimed in too, noting that when you're buying presents in order to secure a first date, then she probably won't continue to date you unless you keep buying her gifts. There is no motivation to really get to know each other as you would on a traditional date without such bribes.

This app plays into the insecurities of men, especially when it comes to online dating. Unfortunately, it's not an app that can ultimately help them obtain a relationship. That takes work, not gifts. And it probably takes a few more messages and a more open mind.

When Aaron Schildkrout cofounded HowAboutWe.com, he had a vision for online dating, one that didn't rely on complex mathematical calculations to determine whether two people are compatible. He pictured a site where real-life dates were the focus, so users got straight to what really matters: meeting face-to-face.

"We branded ourselves as the offline dating site, as explicitly an alternative to these profile-heavy matching algorithm dating sites," he told The Washington Post. "It's about getting offline, going to the real world and getting chemistry."

It appears to be a smart approach at first glance, but since its founding in 2009, HowAboutWe has evolved to depend more on formulas, not less. As more and more users joined the site, the challenge was no longer to show them as many potential dates as possible, but to show them the right dates. In order to create an experience worth coming back for, HowAboutWe needed to get smarter.

HowAboutWe's two-person data science team created an algorithm that combines a user's profile information (like date ideas and demographics) with data gathered from that person's behavior on the site (e.g. what kind of profiles they looked at and how often).

In contrast to HowAboutWe's focus on casual dating, eHarmony believes its users are looking for long term relationships and its algorithm reflects that. eHarmony members are required to fill out a personality questionnaire with hundreds of parts developed from research of around 50,000 happily married couples. To determine compatibility, historical data is paired with analysis of users' behavior on the site and the constraints, like target age range, people place on their matches.

As expected, predicting love is no easy feat. Match.com president Amarnath Thombre says that what users claim they're looking for is often not the kind of profiles they actually view. How did Match cope with the mixed signals? "We said, 'We're going to base these things way more on actions you take. . . . If you start breaking your rules, we're going to start ignoring your rules,' " Thombre explained.

On AshleyMadison.com, the popular matchmaking site for affair-seekers, matching is driven almost entirely by an algorithm. "At least when it comes to the topic of infidelity, traditional research avenues have been kind of absent," said founder Noel Biderman. "There aren't a lot of universities out there that can give you wholesale data on how unfaithful this population or society is or what triggers this."

Can a mathematical formula ever fully replace the magic of serendipity? It seems unlikely, but if the two can work together, we stand a better chance of finding love than ever before.

For more about Aaron Schildkrout dating site you can read our review on How About We.