Dating Services

It seems there’s a new online dating site every time I turn on my computer. And why not? It’s a billion-dollar-a-year industry and growing, especially now that most sites are adding mobile capabilities, which are growing at an even faster rate.

So to make an entrance at this point with the saturation of the market, you really have to come in with an interesting idea. And DreamCliq has high expectations – dubbing itself as “the Pinterest of online dating.”

Confession: I’m one of those irritating people who, every February, talks about how Valentine’s Day is a crock of you-know-what because it shouldn’t take a special, sickeningly sweet, Hallmark-y holiday to remind you to love your partner. Every year it gets hipper to hate on Valentine’s Day, to the point that the scales almost seem poised to tip back in the other direction. In 2015, will the cooler-than-thou kids have to start celebrating V-Day instead of condemning it? What a strange world that would be…

Though the anti-Valentine’s Day forces are loud, it seems that most of us are secretly celebrating anyway. eHarmony asked 3000 people if they had plans for Valentine's Day 2014 and about 64% of them said that they would be spending the holiday with someone special. Here’s what they had planned (or not):

• 17% of people said they had not planned anything at the time of the survey (which was done only three days before Valentine's Day!).
• 6% said they had put a lot of planning into the event.
• Most people, unsurprisingly, fell somewhere in the middle – they’d put at least a little bit of thought into the holiday, but weren’t going all-out.
• Men were the romantics of the bunch. While women were more likely to say they had done very little to no planning at all, men were more likely to say they had done a fair amount of planning or a lot of planning for their valentine.

Good news for married folks: marriage may get a bad rap for dulling the spark, but the damage – at least where Valentine’s Day is concerned – is seriously overstated. Couples who were dating exclusively were most likely to have plans, at 89%, but at 82% married couples weren't far behind. Couples who were engaged were the least likely to have made any plans, perhaps because they’re too busy planning their weddings.

When the big day finally arrives, here’s what we’re up to:

• 37% of people head to dinner with their honeys.
• 26% prefer a romantic dinner in.
• 18% skip the dinner half entirely and go straight to a movie date.
• 71% of people plan to give their valentine a gift (79% of men, 65% of women).
• Women ranked their gift preferences like this: flowers (17%), jewelry (16%), intimacy (17%), a card (12%), and a spa day (11%).
• Men voted strongly in favor of intimacy as the ideal Valentine's Day gift (40%), but next in line was a card (11%).

And for all the naysayers, eHarmony also found that the biggest reasons people say they celebrate Valentine's Day are romance, connection, and genuine enjoyment of the holiday.

Good news for single Apple fans: eHarmony has added a new feature to its iPhone app for version 4.1.

The app feature, called Datebook, is designed to help users plan, manage, and track their dates with anyone. Yes, that's right, I said anyone. Your date doesn’t even have to be an eHarmony member for you to use the app to keep track of them.

Vanessa Petrosky, Mobile Product Manager for eHarmony, says that “Datebook is the first eHarmony feature to be released on a mobile platform before launching on eHarmony’s desktop website.” As mobile usage grows, and with it the demand for mobile access to just about everything we do online, eHarmony is doing its best to provide resources to simplify and enhance the dating experience.

“Our customers have loved the eHarmony app for checking their matches on the go,” continues Petrosky, “and now with Datebook as a companion, singles will be able to schedule details for each date, bridging the online and offline dating experience.” And that’s not all – Datebook also helps singles make better decisions about who to date by doubling as a diary in which users can record their personal dating history and private ratings. “This new feedback feature also allows eHarmony to take the data into account and provide ever-better results for its users,” Petrosky adds.

Highlights of Datebook include:

• Add anyone: Add both eHarmony matches and people you’re dating outside of eHarmony to your Datebook contact list.
• Calendar sync: Any dates you enter are automatically synced to your iPhone calendar.
• Foursquare integration: Search for locations and get invaluable info provided by Foursquare, including photos, phone numbers, addresses, dollar ratings, and tips from other Foursquare users.
• Date history: Save all of your date details plus any private info you want to remember about your companions.
• Rate your dates: Privately rate who you're dating and where you're going. eHarmony will use the data in the future to suggest great date ideas tailored specifically to your tastes and interests.
• Date questions: At a loss for what talk about on the first date? Your iPhone to the rescue! Save your icebreaker questions to your Datebook Favorites, so you never run out of conversation ideas.

Datebook is free to all eHarmony users who register and complete the relationship questionnaire. And, of course, any information entered in Datebook is confidential and will not be shared with any of your matches. Want to give it a whirl? You can find the regular eHarmony app in iTunes here. Once you have completed the personality profile you will have access to the Datebook.

For more information on this dating site please read our eHarmony review.

Did you look to the most popular kids in high school when you needed dating advice? After all, they must be doing something right!

More often, I tried to listen to the good friends I had that knew me so well, but OkCupid seems to go along with the theory that the most popular kids have the most to teach the rest of us, at least when it comes to dating. So, I wanted to take a look at what they were saying.

OkCupid picked four of the most popular daters on the site (male and female, gay and straight) to provide tips for singles on how to online date.

The most popular straight female is a 23 year-old woman named Lauren who gets a lot of attention from her striking pictures and tattoos that cover her arms and legs. According to a recent interview in New York Magazine, Lauren receives around three dozen emails a day; in the last seven months, she’s received five-star ratings, the highest possible rating, from nearly 8,000 men.

Lauren admits she has an advantage because she is a make-up artist and knows how to create a good photo. Plus, she knows how to work the camera to show off features because guys are most interested in visuals. “I believe in a head-to-toe shot to show what you look like,” she says. “But you don’t need to have your ass hanging out!”

She also notes her love of astronomy, explaining that she likes to show her intelligence as well as her looks, even though guys still will message women based only on pictures (as we saw with a recent OkCupid experiment with the worst profile ever created).

She got a surge of emails she got when she first joined the site by choosing “casual sex” as a relationship possibility, along with long and short term options. This opened a floodgate of lude emails from guys. “I’m not a prostitute,” she tells the magazine. “But they don’t get that.” So she removed this description from her profile.

Some of the most questionable advice came from 29 year-old James Hawver, who said that he could double for Ryan Gosling, which I’m sure if it was true he would be one of the most popular guys on the site. He likes to accept every woman as a potential match, which I admire. When he uses Tinder, he accepts all matches even before looking at them. Same with OkCupid. He wants to know that a woman is interested before he starts messaging, so he only responds to the ones who accept him back, in order to cut down on the rejection. Because this can be time-consuming, he sends out the same generic yet flirtatious email to each of them, and gets quite a few responses.

He also likes to “round out the truth,” especially when it comes to physical factors like height. He is an inch shorter than his 5’10” profile would proclaim.

What does he do with all these matches? He goes on a lot of dates, and he doesn’t seem ready to settle down anytime soon. “A lot of us want the best: the best job, the best apartment, the best significant other,” he says.

So I guess it makes sense to keep on dating. For more on this online dating service you can take a look at our Okcupid.com review

I've met a lot of very attractive women who have come through a divorce or break-up looking to meet someone new. The problem? The men who are their ages (in their 40s and 50s) seem to want to date younger women only.

Many women wonder why this is. After all, they aren't looking at only younger men. It doesn't seem fair, does it?

There is an element of truth to this notion: many men do prefer to date younger women, and we see this reflected in TV shows and movies. It's not a problem for a man to date someone half his age, and in fact it's expected. Maybe it's due to biology, or maybe he just wants to ignore his own aging process.

There's also a certain amount of relief in dating a younger woman because she likely doesn't have the baggage that an older woman does. Chances are he looks for simplicity above all else - a woman who has no children, not much debt, or no messy break-up that has taken a toll on her psyche and finances.

So then we wonder - is it possible to find older men who are interested in women their own age?

Absolutely. Just because you've noticed a pattern in your own life or among your friends (or even in a Hollywood movie) doesn't mean that it is true for everyone. There are many single men in the world, and a lot of them enjoy the company of women their own age. You just have to know where to look and what to look for.

First of all, it might be time to refresh your online dating profile. Make sure you are focusing on what you want to bring into your life, not on what has happened in the past. Mention your interests, your career, or whatever makes you happy - and let that be the tone with which you craft your profile. Men can pick up on the energy and tone a woman sends from a profile or a first message. It's important to keep it positive so you can attract as many men as possible.

Second, I would suggest picking a new dating site. OkCupid and PlentyofFish are great for people looking for something casual (i.e. younger), but if you're looking for an emotional connection, it's better to go with a paid site like eHarmony or Match. OurTime is a good niche option specifically for older daters, so you know that your dates won't discount you because of your age.

Third, keep an open mind about the possibilities open to you right now. Say yes to more men that you might not normally consider, just to see what dating someone new is like. Allow yourself a little more fun in the dating process - it doesn't have to be so focused on the end result. It's a journey, after all.

Users of online dating sites sometimes get frustrated and overwhelmed with all the lengthy profiles and messaging back and forth before they ever get to a date with a potential match. A simple solution: why not test the chemistry first by video chatting with each other before meeting for drinks or coffee?

Enter a new crop of online dating apps focused on video interaction. Among those making headlines in this growing field are Date.fm, Flikdate, Video Date and two new apps launched last fall -- View N Me and Instamour.

Developers of these apps saw an opportunity when they noticed how Skype and Facetime are fast becoming typical platforms for people to communicate. They figured singles would want to see if there's chemistry before spending the time and money and effort to meet a date in person. And why not do that from your laptop or mobile phone?

While it sounds great to meet a potential date through a video chat, some people aren't so convinced. Not everyone is a movie director or cinematographer who can figure out good lighting to highlight someone's most attractive features. All too often, poor lighting and strange camera angles can interfere with making a good first impression. View N Me offers tips for looking your best on video to address this problem.

Safety is another concern, and different app developers deal with it in different ways. For example, Video Date does not use phone numbers or e-mails for people to communicate through the service, and messages delete after 24 hours. View N Me offers a strict no tolerance policy for any type of inappropriate behavior on its site. Once someone is reported they conduct a review and terminate the subscription if the user's behavior is deemed inappropriate.

But the most important question for daters is: how easy is the service to use?

Date.fm works a bit like a video-enabled Tinder app. It is simple to use - the service provides general information like age and location along with photos of matches, and you can like or dislike them. If you both like each other, you are sent a notification and then can start video chatting from within the app. FlikDate touts itself as "the fastest date in the world." You simply connect with your Facebook account and play a type of video roulette, where you can chat with someone instantly, see if you click, and accept or reject your match on the spot.

It's no surprise that video dating is becoming more and more popular. People are looking for quick ways to get to know each other. But the real test for love still takes time and effort.