Dating Services

Looking for the best online dating site? There are many out there, but how do you know which sites are the ones most people are checking out? After all, you want a lot of choice when it comes to searching for love.

According to website Mashable.com, Yahoo has revealed the top 10 dating sites that people have searched for using their search engine. And surprisingly, OkCupid topped the list (with even more searches than standards like Match.com or eHarmony).

Another surprise? Men seem to be more interested in online dating, or at least, searching for sites and checking them out.

Here's the complete list:

OkCupid. This site tops the list, and maybe because their demographic skews younger and it's a little more engaging with members than some of the classic dating sites. Most of the searches were conducted by men (68%).

Match. This website is almost synonymous with online dating. It's been around a while, and is still going strong. Again, the majority of searches (73%) came from men.

MeetMe. A more casual site for dating and friendship, MeetMe is gaining marketshare when it comes to online dating. Or at least, people seem to be searching for the site. A hefty 67% of men (primarily from Arkansas, Kentucky and West Virginia) searched for it according to Yahoo.

Zoosk. This popular website touts is algorithms which allow members to "date smarter." Again, more than 70% of its searches came from men.

eHarmony. The go-to destination for those looking for committed relationships, eHarmony has remained near the top of the pack for a long time. Surprisingly, more men (54%) than women were searching for this website.

PlentyofFish. This dating site has a bit of a reputation, but that hasn't stopped people from checking it out. Formerly known for its "intimate encounters" section, POF has recently undergone an image change to focus on matching people with relationship potential.

JDate. The most popular site for those who are more religiously inclined, JDate has become the go-to source for Jewish singles. Not surprisingly, the most searches came from New Jersey, New York, and Florida, all with more concentrated Jewish populations.

Skout. Mobile apps also figured prominently into searches. Skout is a networking app that focuses on meeting people rather than having specific agendas for dating and relationships. Most of the searches for this site came from men (68%) residing in Texas, California, and Florida.

Christian Mingle. A popular religious-based dating site, Christian Mingle focuses on dating, friendships, and relationships. This is the only site that had more females searching for it, primarily from Texas, California and Pennsylvania.

Tinder. This mobile app was made popular by college students, a sort of "hot or not" version of online dating. With its easy-to-use and convenient set-up, the app has taken off among singles who like to see who's close by and wanting to meet a little more spontaneously.

There's big news coming out of the Coffee Meets Bagel camp: the free online dating site that provides one match every day at noon is expanding nationwide and releasing an iOS app.

Coffee Meets Bagel launched in New York City in 2012, when three sisters decided there must be a better way to date in the Big Apple. They created CMB based on three guiding principles:

1. Unless you want to tell others, your dating life should remain private.
2. Your friends are the best conduits for your dates.
3. Meeting quality people doesn't have to be so awkward or complicated.

Users sign up through Facebook and receive one match - a.k.a. a 'Bagel' - every day at noon that is somehow connected to them. Members then have a time limit in which to respond with a simple LIKE or PASS. If all goes well, Coffee and Bagel are put in touch via a private company texting line and magical breakfast-y sparks will fly.

Co-founder Dawoon Kang says that with the new iOS app, Coffee Meets Bagel is hoping to find the happy medium between traditional online dating services and the current trend of more casual dating apps. "We want to deliver you a very good-quality match, one that you would expect from subscription services, but with the fun of mobile apps," she told TechCrunch.

Coffee Meets Bagel is full of gamified elements that are bound to work well in a mobile context. Members earn 'coffee beans' in the app when they perform certain actions like inviting friends or filling out information. They can then use the beans to purchase special features, like the ability to return to a missed match or a score and ranking. Coffee beans can also be purchased separately.

After its successful launch in New York City, CMB expanded to Boston and San Francisco, followed by Chicago, Los Angeles, and Washington, D.C. The service is now being released to everyone, but the sisters warn that it could hit a few stumbling blocks along the way. In smaller cities with fewer users, the app may not be able to provide a daily match until word spreads and more local users have signed up.

"As we grow, our member base is going to become a lot more diverse," Kang says. "[We'll] have to refine the algorithm very quickly ... to be able to deliver a personal, relevant match." Coffee Meets Bagel has already made more than 1.5 million matches, so it sounds like that diversity isn't far off.

That's the question posed by Cliff Lerner, founder and CEO of SNAP Interactive, in a recent article on HuffPost.

Personally I like to think we've already decided that online dating is cool, but maybe I'm just trying to make myself feel better. Maybe the rest of the world isn't as on-board with the idea as the social and professional circles I run in. For those people, Lerner says, the launch of Graph Search could make all the difference.

When Graph Search was announced, online dating sites went a little bit insane. Some feared that because it could meaningfully connect singles through friends and common interests, it would mean the end of traditional dating sites. It even includes the option to search by "relationship status," making it clear that dating is a key element of the new feature.

"The concern," Lerner explains, "is that singles will gravitate more and more towards Facebook for their online dating needs since Facebook already has superior data and profiles and now is offering enhanced friend and interest-based search and matching functionality for singles."

But fear not, online dating sites, because Lerner also says that line of thinking "couldn't be more wrong."

Facebook's Graph Search could be a valuable opportunity for dating sites. Currently only 1 in 5 singles visit a dating site each month, and the biggest opportunity dating sites have for growth is to crush the stigma associated with them once and for all. The best way to get that remaining 80% of singles to log onto online dating sites is to make it seem as normal as possible.

Enter Graph Search, which subtly blends online dating functionality into the Facebook experience. With the addition of "social dating" to Facebook, a brand new crop of singles is being introduced to online dating in an understated, but effective, way. And once they get a taste of what it has to offer, there's a good chance they'll turn to online dating sites to get more out of the experience.

Voila - Facebook Graph Search might actually be doing the online dating industry a favor, not driving a nail into its figurative coffin.

"It's only a matter of time before the online dating industry says a huge "thank you" to Facebook for removing the online dating 'stigma,'" writes Lerner, "and thus enabling millions of more singles to enter the 'online dating' market, which will ultimately expose many new millions of singles to destination dating sites."

In a move that will probably surprise no one, Facebook proposed updates to its Data Use Policy and Statement of Rights and Responsibilities for the millionth time.

In another move that will probably surprise no one, most users probably aren't even aware of Facebook's proposed changes.

And in a move that might actually surprise a few of you, Facebook allowed users to comment on the proposed changes and, after the commenting period closed, decided to delay the update as it deals with criticisms from privacy groups.

What? Facebook is being thoughtful, acting concerned about privacy, and taking others' feelings into account? Who are you and what have you done with Facebook?

Seriously, though, it's awesome that Facebook maybe cares a little bit about what its users actually think. Their announcement of the updates said that both the Data Use Policy and Statement of Rights and Responsibilities would receive new language that clarifies:

• How advertising works on Facebook
• What to expect when it comes to using your name, profile picture, content and personal info with ads or commercial content
• How to control or remove apps you've used
• What data you're sharing with mobile devices

The proposed updates were met with resistance from privacy groups, who asked the FTC to prevent Facebook from enacting the changes over concerns about how the social networking site handles user information for advertising. According to these groups, the new policy makes it easier for Facebook to use the data of its members for advertising without their consent.

"The Federal Trade Commission must act now to protect the interests of Facebook users," said a letter sent to the FTC and signed by officials from six groups, including the Electronic Privacy Information Center. "The right of a person to control the use of their image for commercial purposes is the cornerstone of modern privacy law."

The proposed new Data Use Policy states that Facebook will use the personal information supplied by users to provide more relevant advertisements. Unlike the previous Data Use Policy, which says "We do not share any of your information with advertisers (unless, of course, you give us permission)," the new policy says nothing about permission ("...we may use all the information we receive about you to serve ads that are more relevant to you."). It's a small change in language that means an awful lot.

Privacy groups now fear that actively giving permission is a thing of the past and that by using Facebook, your permission is automatically assumed. The real issue here is that companies like Facebook need to communicate in simple, plain language about how they handle users' data. Until that transparency is achieved, we have a long way to go.

Many of us agree that we can't live without our smartphones. It can even be addictive to check texts, Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter through a handheld device which travels everywhere we go. No matter where we are, we are not alone. Our smartphones are by our sides.

According to a recent study conducted by JDate and ChristianMingle.com, our smartphone obsession has affected our dating behavior, too. Their report entitled Mobile's Impact on Dating and Relationships is based on an in-depth survey of 1,500 singles regarding their smartphone habits, and reveals an increased dependence on technology and expectations around how people prefer to communicate.

The study found that 55% of singles feel their mobile devices are making it easier to meet and get to know people for dating. A majority of 64% say that the quality of relationships with those they are dating has improved thanks to mobile technology.

Respondents also felt that it's less intimidating to ask someone on a date via text than by making a phone call. About 31 percent of men and 33% of women agreed, although respondents over the age of 43 said they prefer to ask someone out by phone instead of text. More men than women (44% compared to 37%) believe it's easier to flirt and get to know someone via text.

If you've had a good date, the majority of men and women say it doesn't matter who initiates contact, but it does matter how long it takes to respond. Forty-six percent of singles have become upset with someone they are dating over their text response time, with more women (52 percent) getting upset than men (40 percent). Seventy-eight percent of singles say they want to communicate within 24 hours after a first date, so goodbye three-date rule!

Daters are getting better about phone etiquette while on a date. Ninety-six percent keep their phones out of sight during a date, but beware if you excuse yourself to go to the bathroom - your date is probably checking her phone (or maybe posting a tweet or status update about your date)! Sixty-seven percent said they find a way to sneak a peek at their phones during a date.

It seems that our smartphone addiction is growing and won't be going away anytime soon. The study found that nearly 20% of all singles not only keep their phones on when they go to sleep, but also in bed with them.

Mobile technology has changed the way we date, as well as our expectations and accessibility. Sometimes though, it's okay to shut your phone off. Your date will appreciate it.

I haven't been this excited for a comeback since the Spice Girls reunion. Here's hoping the relaunch of the OkTrends blog lasts longer than the relaunch of everybody's favorite 90s pop girl group.

The disappearance of OkTrends, the quirky but insightful blog of OkCupid, was always a mystery to me. It dominated the web while it was active, and is undoubtedly one of the greatest marketing ideas ever deployed, but for some inexplicable reason the blog fell dormant.

"From August 2010 to April 2011," says Digiday.com, "OkTrends posts averaged a staggering 32,500 Facebook likes and 4,222 tweets." With OkCupid co-founder Christian Rudder at the helm, the blog took off and introduced the site to millions of new potential users. But then, shortly after IAC purchased OkCupid in 2011, OkTrends disappeared and many felt that the purchase was to blame.

Rudder, however, firmly denies the suggestion. He cites a lack of time due to other responsibilities at OkCupid and a new book he's writing, called Dataclysm, that's due out in fall 2014. Rudder promises the book will be "a superset of all the stuff I did on OkTrends." Digiday adds that the book is described as "a witty, provocative, visually fascinating look at how 'big data' is transforming our understanding of race, politics, age, beauty, sex, humor, even history, and ushering in a new era in the study of human nature."

Ok, count me in. Sounds like an intriguing read. But what about that OkTrends blog, huh? Sometimes I prefer to digest my information digitally. Why not just hire another writer to cover while Rudder finishes his book?

"This is just going to sound very self-serving, but I just don't know if that's possible," he says. "I'm in the unique position of being a founder of the site. I just know it so incredibly well...I just don't know how you find someone out there that can do it."

A little narcissistic, maybe, but the man's probably right. It would be a disappointment for all of us if the blog came back and was only half as good as the original. Do it right, or don't do it at all.

The good news is, OkCupid is going the "do it right" route. Rudder plans to rekindle the blog in March, after he's submitted the manuscript for Dataclysm, and he promises it's going to be better than ever.

"I'm excited about starting it back up again," he teased in Digiday. "I'm definitely going to try and bring a new little twist."