Dating Services

This breakup is so big, it’s shaking up the entire online dating industry.

It's not the kind of breakup makes you want to curl up on the couch in your pajamas with a sappy movie and a pint of ice cream. This kind of breakup involves two of the biggest forces on the Internet: Mozilla Firefox and OkCupid.

It all started when OkCupid members using Mozilla’s Firefox web browser attempted to access the site and were greeted with this message:

“Hello there, Mozilla Firefox user. Pardon this interruption of your OkCupid experience. Mozilla’s new CEO, Brendan Eich, is an opponent of equal rights for gay couples. We would therefore prefer that our users not use Mozilla software to access OkCupid.”

It’s not every day you see a dating site take a dive into politics, but OkCupid has never been one to follow the herd. Here's the back story: at the end of March, Mozilla named its cofounder and former Chief Technology Officer, Brendan Eich, to the position of CEO following the resignation of Gary Kovacs last April. Eich’s opposition to same-sex marriage has been public knowledge since 2012, when it was revealed that he donated to California’s 2008 Proposition 8 campaign that sought to ban gay marriage.

When the news hit that Eich had been promoted, all hell broke loose. The backlash was swift on Twitter. Three Mozilla board members quit. And OkCupid decided to brave political waters and take a stand.

“We’ve devoted the last ten years to bringing people—all people—together,” OkCupid’s missive continued. “If individuals like Mr. Eich had their way, then roughly 8% of the relationships we’ve worked so hard to bring about would be illegal. Equality for gay relationships is personally important to many of us here at OkCupid. But it’s professionally important to the entire company.”

At least one other company, the app developer Rarebit, has followed suit. Boycotting Firefox is no small statement, as it is the world's second most popular web browser on personal computers and is responsible for about 12% of OkCupid’s 3 billion monthly page views.

The anti-Mozilla landing page is now gone from OkCupid, but the site told CNET that it plans to release another statement at some point in the near future.

As for Eich, he told CNET that "[w]ithout getting into my personal beliefs, which I separate from my Mozilla work -- when people learned of the donation, they felt pain. I saw that in friends' eyes, [friends] who are LGBT [lesbian, gay, bisexual, or transgender]. I saw that in 2012. I am sorry for causing that pain."

Whether or not you believe in the sincerity of his statement, the damage is done: Eich resigned in the wake of the controversy. 

We’ve been warned of scandals when it comes to online dating. Some people post fake profiles and create stories of financial hardship to extract money or financial information from other users, hoping to cash in on someone’s vulnerability or desire for love. This can compromise our security, but it’s within our control to not respond or to report the abuse. But what about the information we voluntarily offer without even knowing how it will be used?

Mobile dating and location-based apps operate and match you with others according to where you physically are, which means they need to collect data from you, usually through your phone’s GPS. But then what happens to the information? Is it used only for matching purposes to benefit the users of the site, or are companies using this valuable information in other ways?

New legislation aims to protect users from themselves and the online dating sites who collect location and other personal information. Senator Al Franken is leading the charge, advocating for more privacy for users.

"This stuff is advancing at a faster and faster rate, and we've got to try and catch up," Franken tells USA Today. "This is about Americans' right to privacy and one of the most private things is your location."

Considering how many people have used online dating sites – a recent Pew report indicated 38% of singles – it makes sense that companies offering services for daters operate with security and privacy in mind. Unfortunately, most people don’t realize how much information they are voluntarily sharing when they sign up and post photos on their phone.

Members also might not realize what information a dating website or app is collecting about them and their social media networks, say if a Facebook login is used to sign up. Though most companies will outline what information they can collect about you and your friends, the fine print is often overlooked by users just trying to download and check out a new app.

A few states require online dating sites to disclose whether they conduct criminal background checks on members, including Illinois, New York, New Jersey and Texas. eHarmony, Match, and Sparks Networks signed an agreement with the California District Attorney’s office in 2012 to check subscribers against national sex offender registries and provide a rapid abuse reporting system for members. Security precautions are being taken to protect users, but legislators like Al Franken and privacy advocates don’t think it’s enough.

Rainey Reitman of the San Francisco, Calif.-based Electronic Frontier Foundation, a nonprofit that advocates for user privacy amid technology development, told USA Today: "People don't realize how much information they're exposing even by doing something as slight as uploading a photograph. Many online apps are very cavalier about collecting that information and perhaps exposing it in a way that would make you uncomfortable."

The incredible proliferation of niche dating sites is a popular topic these days. When we say there's something for everyone, we really mean there’s something for everyone. Whether you’re looking for a vampire, a farmer, or a sea captain (or maybe all three?), there’s a site looking to match you with your perfect partner.

By comparison, dating sites for foodies seem downright normal. Stefanie Tuder, culinary school graduate and online food writer for ABC News-“Good Morning America,” decided to take three foodie sites for a test drive (make that "a taste test") to survey the scene.

HowAboutWe

First on her list was HowAboutWe, which recently announced a partnership with Serious Eats. The sites are collaborating to get online daters offline, via activities like “tacos and a spin around the Bronx zoo" or "a crawl of the essential dumplings of Flushing." Other popular food-focused sites also have similar partnerships to connect like-minded singles. All members, regardless of which co-branded page they use to sign up, can interact with all other members in order to offer as wide a dating pool as possible.

For Tuder, that wasn’t ideal. “Rather than see other readers of Serious Eats, Eater, etc.,” she writes, “which is the reason I signed up and went to that branded landing page, I see everyone in my area on HowAboutWe. And not even only the ones who are particularly interested in food.” It’s possible to narrow down searches to people who suggest food and drink date ideas, but messaging someone requires at least an $8 monthly membership.

HiDine

HiDine stirred up some controversy when it hit the scene in November. Taking a staunchly traditional approach, only men can ask women out on a date on Hi Dine and by doing so they commit to picking up the tab. Tuder found that she received many more messages and date requests on HiDine than on the other sites she experimented with. Her two critiques include the messaging system, which she calls "pretty clunky," and the fact that women do not have the option of messaging men. All a woman can do to indicate her interest in a profile is "wink" at it.

SamePlate

“While SamePlate has the best of intentions,” Tuder writes, “it simply doesn't have enough members yet to be successful." SamePlate was founded in 2012 by a man who wanted to find a partner to eat Paleo with him. SamePlate covers the Paleo phenomenon as well as anything else a food lover could want. Members can use the free site to cross-reference search any mix of diet and food combinations, which is a pretty unbeatable feature if you consider yourself foodie.

Ultimately, Tuder concludes that foodie dating is “interesting,” but doesn’t have “strong enough of a pull to stay on full time."

Finding love on OkCupid: good. Getting scammed out of thousands of dollars on OkCupid: not so much.

Unfortunately for Michael Picciano, he falls into the latter category. Picciano is now suing OkCupid and its parent company, IAC, for failing to conduct “even minimal screening of its subscribers and therefore deceptively creating the impression that their dating service was safe . . . when in fact . . . [it] was a trap for the unwary,” he says in his Manhattan civil suit.

It all began back in February 2013, when he received a message from “genuineguy62.” (Is it just me or is that, like, the least trustworthy name ever?) After 10 days of chatting on the site, Picciano continued the conversation with the man, who called himself Bruce Thompson, via personal e-mails. A month following that, Thompson made his first telephone call to Picciano. And by the end of March, the two had canceled their OkCupid subscriptions because “they had found each other.”

Shortly afterwards, Thompson asked Picciano to wire him money to cover “unexpected fees ”incurred while setting up a new computer parts business. Picciano says he made four wire transfers in steadily increasing amounts to addresses in Texas, Ontario and England. In total, the payments added up to $70,460.

Four weeks following his first payment, Picciano involved the police. A friend of his had found Thompson's photo and information on a site called MaleScammers.com and warned Picciano. Picciano handed over a $100,000 forged check given to him by Thompson to the police, but they were unable to find the con man’s fingerprints.

Picciano is faulting OkCupid for failing to "exercise reasonable care" in communicating "the dangers associated with online matchmaking." There is, however, a page on the site called "Safety Tips" that explicitly warns members against wiring money to other users – or anyone they meet online – because the sender “has no protections against loss.”

In addition to going after OkCupid, Picciano is also suing Capital One for "failure to comply with proper procedures for the transmission of wire funds transfers." The lawsuit allages that none of the wire transfers contained the address of the recipient "as required by law."

According to the court papers, Picciano believes Thompson is back on OkCupid, trolling for new victims under the screen name "bigheartedbt.” While this hasn’t been confirmed, OkCupid users should take note – better safe than sorry.

There are plenty of niche dating sites available for the picky dater – whether you’re into men or women with the same political preferences, vegetarian eating habits, or love of horses, there’s a site for you.

But what about the touchy subject of STDs? Although our society is more open to talking about sex, many people are still freaked out by the mention of contracting an STD. It’s not sexy – in fact, it’s enough to kill the romance on any date. So what’s the best way to approach dating when you have an STD?

According to the CDC (Center for Disease Control) even though one out of every six people aged 14 to 49 years have genital herpes, there is still a stigma about it when it comes to dating. According to research from the University of Michigan, giving someone an easily cured STD is considered to be worse than giving that person a fatal flu.

Which is why a number of online dating sites have been created to serve this growing market of singles who test positive for anything from Herpes to HIV. Instead of making STDs a stigma, these sites are helping people move past the inevitable and uncomfortable conversations with their dates to be able to focus on getting to know each other. In other words, STD dating sites help members date like everyone else.

Some STD-focused dating sites include PositivesDating.com, STDMatch.net, and PositiveSingles.com among others. (You can match by the type of STD on most of these sites.) Many offer systems of support to members, too – including counseling, support groups, and STD treatment locations. They are providing a much-needed service for those who feel intimidated or embarrassed by their disease.

But there’s a catch: even if you and your date share the same STD, you might not share the same strain. There are more than 100 types of HPV for example. Because an STD can weaken your body’s immune system, it makes it easier to pick up other ones, too. So you might be accumulating and worsening the problem by having sex with a date who shares the same STD.

Ultimately, whether you use an STD dating site to meet people or not, you should still exercise the same precautions as you would with anyone else. Don’t look at joining an STD site as a sexual free-for-all. Use protection like you would with anyone else you date, whether or not you have an STD. And don’t hesitate to get tested.

For more on a dating site for members with STDs you can read our Positive Singles review.

Single baseball fans are about to hit a home run.

If you’ve checked out the homepage of pretty much any Major League Baseball team recently, you probably saw a few ads advertising other single sports fans. On Athletics.com, for instance, ads on each side of the page featured an attractive group of potential matches and text that read "Meet other single Athletics fans.” A banner ad across the top said “Take them out to the Athletics game.”

What’s going on?

With baseball's regular season here, Match and MLB.com are coming together to give singles another reason to cheer this season. Baseball fanatics on Match.com will have the opportunity to connect online through 29 different fan pages (one for every U.S. team) for the duration of the 2014 MLB season – meaning they have way more to look forward to this year than their team making it to the World Series.

To get started, Match members can announce their allegiance to their favorite team (or teams, if they’re the indecisive type) by adding its logo to their profile. Match members can also search for other fans using a new community search tool that allows them to easily connect with members who have also added their favorite team to their profiles.

On the other side of things, MLB.com will be promoting 29 different MLB Club portals where singles can search for and connect with other fans of their favorite teams. When you find a fellow fan who tickles your fancy, you can take them out to the ballgame for the perfect first date.

Noah Garden, Major League Baseball Advanced Media's executive vice president of revenue, said "the Match.com conversation is one we've had on and off over the years to see if there's something we could do together." MLB hopes the promotion will give ticket sales a boost. "The idea is put like people together with similar interest and passion," he said. "There's still always room for more butts in the seats."

It sounds a little blunt, but I guess you've gotta appreciate the guy's honesty. And I'm sure there are plenty of die-hard baseball fans who will be pleased about having an easy way to weed out rivals. In fact, Match.com President Amarnath Thombre said the first question self-identified Yankees fans often ask of singles on the site is: "Who hates the Red Sox?"

Better have your answer ready before you log on to Match.com, baseball fans, or you just might strike out. For more on this service you can read our Match.com review.