Relationships

People seem to be accessible 24/7, or at least, most have a Twitter account or a Facebook page that they check regularly. Why not use these tools as more than social networks and meet some other singles?

Following are some tips to use Facebook or Twitter to your advantage when looking for potential dates:

Revise your Facebook profile.

Much like on online dating site, Facebook provides a profile page for you to show off pictures, what your interests are, and a little about yourself. So instead of posting a picture of your dog for your main visual, have a friend take some nice candid shots. Include other photos of yourself doing interesting activities...traveling, surfing, playing music, or whatever you like. List a few things about yourself that you like to do (as conversation starters), but keep it to a minimum. Not only do you not want too much detail about yourself available online, but you also want to let some mystery remain when you meet potential dates.

Don't friend someone you haven't met.

If you like your Facebook friend's friend, don't rush to "friend" him or her to try and meet. Likely if they have never met you, they will be hesitant to add you to their roster. Instead, try sending a message to your friend to make introductions. If he or she is hesitant, move on. If you have already met your interest, send her a message reminding of how you met so she has some context to accept your request.

Update your status, but not excessively.

Many of us like instant gratification. We post a comment, picture, or status on Twitter or Facebook, and we want people to respond right away. If you're trying to elicit a response from someone specific by posting your status every five minutes, you'll likely send the wrong message. It's good to check in on these sites, but you don't want to be perceived as having nothing to do or being desperate for attention.

Don't over-comment.

Remember, this is flirting, not cyber-stalking. Just because you can post a comment at any time doesn't mean you should. Be respectful and only comment when you feel it's appropriate. Also, keep it light and fun rather than serious.

Message someone who shares the same "likes" as you

If you are a supporter of a volunteer group or a fan of a local comedy troupe, there may be opportunities to meet other single fans. Messaging someone who is a member of a group you belong to is a great way to meet new people and expand your network, and makes it easier to strike up a conversation.

Safety comes first.

Remember to be safe and don't meet an online (or Facebook) date in person without taking proper precautions. Always meet in a public place and let a friend know where you are and what time you'll be home.

Thanksgiving is upon us. Even if you don't live in the US, chances are you might have entered your own season of thanksgiving. Between the holidays and the nature of winter – death and rebirth, cold, waiting for the darkness to give way to light... well, let's just say it's a prime season for reflection.

Just as it's important to give thanks in life every so often, so too is it in online dating – to take a moment to reflect not on what we want, but what we have. Lest you think I'm just being preachy, I'm not – acknowledging what's good in your life will help you write a more positive, upbeat profile.

Too often I've heard, “Well, there's nothing really special about me. I'm not the head of a company, I'm not great in any sports, I'm just a girl with a dog.” After that same person has reflected on what they like about their life – not even thinking in terms of self-esteem – their description becomes markedly more positive: “I'm in a job that entertains me every day. I'm in a knitting group with a great group of people; they're supportive even though I'm just learning, and a bit clumsy. I love my dog – he keeps me laughing, and it's impossible to be bored around him.”

Now, which person would you want to meet? The one in the first description, or the second? Note that even though she wasn't boasting about herself, her positive attitude about those around her makes her more appealing. Attitudes are contagious; thus, we're drawn to positive people, because we know it will make us feel positive as well.

It's good for all of us to give thanks every once in awhile; for those with low self-esteem, it can be a perfect fix for your profile when bragging about yourself is still too difficult, and a great first step in feeling better about yourself. The world can handle a bit more optimism and positivity; don't be afraid to add a liberal dash when you're cooking up your winter profile.

Break-ups can be devastating, especially if it's the end of a marriage or long-term relationship. If some time has gone by and you're ready to get back out there again (or maybe for the first time), following are some tips for how to approach your new life and have a little fun.

Have fun!

Many of us make the mistake when we date of thinking that every guy we meet should be "the one" or it's a failure. This is simply not true. It's fine to ease in to dating. If you aren't clicking, it's not the end of the world. It's just good practice for the next one, so have fun and enjoy what you can!

Give yourself a make-over.

Maybe it's a new haircut or a new outfit, but whatever the case, giving ourselves a fresh look helps us mentally with making a new start. When you look good and feel good, you attract more people to you.

Don't look for a rebound.

Maybe you're trying to get back at your ex and obtain a hot, new boyfriend. This is not a good way to start of your dating life. Instead of looking for a rebound romance, concentrate on what you've learned from your previous relationship and what you want in your next partner.

Avoid talk of your ex.

Many people coming out of relationships fall into this trap. Remember that talk of your ex isn't appropriate when you're first getting to know someone. You could end up spending the evening bashing former loves instead of getting to know one another, which won't endear you to your date. Keep the conversation light and fun, and ask questions to keep the focus off your past.

Don't drink excessively.

Maybe you're nervous, but know your limits and tolerance when it comes to alcohol consumption. You don't want to feel out of control when you're meeting someone for the first time.

It's not as scary as it seems.

Perhaps your single girlfriends think "all the good ones are taken". This is simply not true, as 41% of the adult population is single according to the most recent U.S. Census. Being single again is different, but it doesn't have to be difficult. There are many men to meet and many experiences to have. Have fun and take this time to figure out what you really want in your next relationship.

The study of body language, like the study of any other topic, involves a glossary of terms unique to the subject matter. You've already encountered some - like "eye accessing cues" and "triangulation" - but I would like to go over a few more of my personal favorites that are essential for understanding how to flirt and date effectively.

Up first: proximity. Proximity is defined by Dictionary.com as "nearness in place, time, order, occurrence, or relation." In the world of body language, proximity refers specifically to physical closeness. Modern society, in most countries, is fixated on the idea of "personal space," which means that breaking the rules and ignoring the boundaries of personal space leaves a very powerful impression.

When it comes to flirting and dating, the closer you stand to someone, the more interested you seem. Likewise, if someone is standing unusually close to you, it's safe to assume that they are attracted to you. Men frequently hover near women they are interested in while working up the courage to speak to them, and women often intentionally position themselves near men they are attracted to in hopes that the men will notice and begin talking to them, so it's wise to be aware of your surroundings at all times.

The next term is preening, a word that might not be familiar although the concept probably is. Preening, in the animal kingdom, is a kind of personal grooming, particularly common in birds that clean their feathers using their bills. In humans, preening is strongly flirtatious behavior that disguises itself as personal grooming.

Men and women are, understandably, concerned with their appearance when in the presence of someone they are attracted to, and consequently are constantly making adjustments to it. A woman is preening when she plays with her hair excessively, touches her neck and shoulders, and draws attention to her mouth by licking or biting her lips. A man is preening when he adjusts his hair or clothing, takes a wider stance, and positions himself in a way that makes him appear larger. Both genders flirt by drawing attention to the physical characteristics that make them unique: women hold their shoulders low and thrust their chests out to highlight their breasts, while men rest their hands on their hips or tuck their fingers into their belt loops or pockets to highlight their groins.

The final term I would like to review is mirroring, a body language concept that can be used to your advantage in more than just your love life. Next time you're in a social situation - of any kind - take a moment to observe your interaction closely. Are you and your conversation partner breathing at the same rate? Do you use the same volume, tone, and speed when you speak? Do you move at the same time? Are you sitting in similar positions? If one person adjusts, does the other person adjust to match?

These are all signs of mirroring, which is the replication of another person's actions in a social interaction. Mirroring is normally done without conscious awareness, but you can deliberately duplicate the patterns of movement, speech, and breathing in someone you're on a date with in order to signal your interest and build attraction in them. Just remember to be subtle about it, or you're bound to look a little strange!

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Well, there you have it...a complete rundown of the basics of body language, from head to toe. You now know everything you need to know to pass Body Language 101. You'd better start studying now, because you never know when there might be a pop quiz...

In some respects, winter is just perfect for dating: getting cozy by the fire, bundling up under blankets, huddling together for warmth. It's easy to conjure up a dozen romantic winter images. However, things are trickier when your date is someone you're meeting for the first time. You might want your first date to be special and seasonal, but what are your options?

First and foremost, consider the weather. Whether your date is indoors or outdoors, consult the weather forecast for days – even hours – before you head out. If you live in an area with winter storms, you could be housebound, stranded, or caught in immovable traffic in a matter of minutes. Try to choose the day of your first date wisely, with minimal weather interference.

This is particularly important when you're dealing with an outdoor activity, like a sleigh ride. Remember to factor in not only precipitation, but the cold; yes, cold weather is a good excuse to huddle together, but how comfortable will either of you be on the first date? Best to stay warm and comfortable enough so that if you draw closer together, you know it's because you really want to and not just because you're trying to stave off frostbite.

A friend of mine recently suggested that driving around looking at lights is a holiday staple, and one that allows room for lots of conversation. While this is true, I might recommend this for a later date, rather than the very first meeting. For one thing, there are basic safety concerns; for another driving around doesn't allow the driver to actually look at the passenger much (at least, not if they're driving safely).

So where should you stage your first dates this winter? Well, I know I recommend it all the time, but there's always the tried-and-true coffee-shop or casual diner. It's a comfortable atmosphere, well-populated, but still leaves the possibility of deep conversation. In the winter, it provides a place to get out of a the cold, and a chair to set your coat when you warm up. Each individual town and city probably has their own perfect place for a first date, as well; don't be afraid to do regional research. Oh, and if you absolutely must add that seasonal dash of something special? Try finding a place with fantastic hot chocolate. Don't forget the whipped cream, and good luck!

Many of you attended a party or two during Halloween weekend. If you met someone you found interesting and would like to see him again, how do you follow up? Do you Facebook friend him, call him, or wait until he makes contact?

There are many “rules” for dating protocol here, created mostly for the sake of keeping a guy interested. I’m not a big fan of rules. I prefer taking chances. After all, risk can equal reward, right? Here are a few things to bear in mind when deciding whether to make the next move.

First, consider how you left things with your love interest. Did he say he would call you, or did you agree to more firm plans? If you parted ways by leaving him your phone number, it’s up to him to call. But don’t sit around and wait for it---keep attending networking mixers and online dating. Keeping yourself busy helps you keep your perspective. Remember, even if you liked him, there are plenty of other guys out there if he isn't for you.