Long Distance

8 Keys To Making Your Long Distance Relationship Work In The Year 2018

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Today it's possible to find your soul mate living across the state, country, or world. Unfortunately, these relationships are more difficult since you'll need more time, money, and patience. However, this doesn't mean that these relationships are impossible. With the right mindset and understanding, they can actually be quite successful. Of course, there are a few tips you should keep in mind to make this happen.

Work on Your Communication Skills

Communication is so important. This is especially true of verbal communication since you can't see the other person's body language unless you meet virtually. Miscommunication is bound to happen and when it does you simply have to be patient with the other person. There will also be nights when one of you is too tired to talk on the phone. With this in mind, here are a few ways The Huffington Post suggests you work on your communication skills together:

Maple Match Dating App Launches to Help Connect Americans with Canadians

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Though the US Presidential Election is over, the nation remains deeply divided along party lines. Many Americans have made jokes about moving to Canada in the past, but this week, the Canadian immigration website’s server broke down because of all the traffic from unhappy American voters.

Enter Maple Match, a dating app which matches Americans and Canadians for potential romance. The company took an opportunity to make lemonade out of political lemons.

Maple Match was beta testing its service earlier this year, and this month seized the opportunity to launch its new app to help Americans feeling less than happy with their country’s choices. The app's tagline is “make dating great again,” similar to the slogan for President-elect Donald Trump’s campaign.

Maple Match’s technology is straightforward. It offers the same photo-based profile that Tinder does, but there is no swiping. You indicate your citizenship and your desired citizenship, and then you can look through potential matches and start messaging whomever you like.

Should You Date Someone in Another City?

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Long-distance love isn't something most people seek out. After all, you want to find someone who lives close enough so that you can spend time together. But sometimes, we meet people outside of our desired geographic locations and we want to try and make it work - to create a long-distance relationship.

But how do you actually do this successfully?

Long-distance relationships do come with many challenges. It's hard to be apart and removed from each other's lives, (but it's also very romantic every time you're reunited, which helps keep the desire going). To avoid conflict and misunderstanding, it's important to communicate with each other on a regular basis.

Following are some tips to help build your long-distance relationship:

Take it slowly. If you met online, or had a brief fling while you were visiting a friend in another city, you don't really know the other person. It takes time to build a relationship - to get to know another person. So don't dive head first into romance. Talk to each other over the phone. Make plans to see each other in person, sooner rather than later. If you haven't yet met in person, then make sure it happens before you are too emotionally involved. The other person might be misrepresenting themselves and deceiving you (a term known as catfishing). Proceed with caution, and if your love keeps making excuses and avoids getting together, likely she has something to hide.

Communicate regularly. Texting is great and easy, but long-distance relationships require a little more involvement since you don't see each other face-to-face so often. Schedule time to Skype with each other or even talk on the phone. Tell him/ her details about your day, to include them in your daily life as much as you can. If something is bothering you, like the fact that you're the one doing all the calling, it's also best to share sooner rather than later. You don't want misunderstandings or resentments building up, and you do want the reassurance that you both feel the same way (committed to the relationship).

Live your own lives. Don't sit by the phone every Saturday night waiting for your partner to call. Instead, be more social. Make new friends, spend time with family, pursue hobbies you love. Developing your own life is important for long-term relationship success, no matter how far apart you are geographically.

Have a plan. Don't enter into a long-distance relationship without talking to each other about the end goal. You both would like to end up in the same place, right? If one of you is going to school, make plans for after graduation to relocate to one city. If your jobs are taking you away from each other for the long-term, one of you might want to consider moving should the relationship keep moving forward. Make a plan to assess things six months to a year from now.

Writing Your Own Rules

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When we first set foot back in the dating world, we’re often looking for structure, for “rules.” We want to know the type of messages to send and profiles to write, sure, but mostly, we just want to know who to avoid. We understand that everyone’s definition of “right” is probably different, but surely everyone’s definition of “wrong” has something in common?

In truth, it’s not that easy. Yes, you can look for red flags - signs of bitterness, of someone who’s still seeking closure on a previous relationship, of someone who seems like they might be downright unhealthy or dangerous - but there’s still a world of smaller landmines to navigate.

For instance, the person you see every morning on your daily commute - is it worth taking a chance when you’ll still have to see them if it doesn’t work out? These are the small, personal questions that don’t fit neatly into a Dos and Don’ts list. But that doesn’t mean you won’t find tons of people willing to give you their opinions!

Based on their personal experience, friends and family members probably have several cut-and-dry lists for you: don’t date a co-worker, for instance, or always go after someone who holds the door open for someone else. But the problem is, even if these lists worked for them, it’s based on a) the sort of person with whom they’re compatible and b) the way they personally perceive others. Perhaps the door holding is the clincher for your Aunt Linda, but you would have noticed the fact that they asked if you had any food allergies before choosing a restaurant. Same basic quality, manifesting in different ways.

Plus, with every “Don’t” there’s almost always an exception to the rule. In some cases, such as dating co-workers, it’s a rule that is very frequently broken and often ends in success. The same holds true for another popular no-no, the long distance relationship. At some point, someone had to analyze their relationship in a mature way, and take a chance. Not everything fits in a teen magazine “Top 10” list.

And as you set out in the dating world, instead of collecting the rules of others, start making your own lists. What sort of qualities do you notice and appreciate? What negative tendencies do you notice in yourself and want to avoid? What’s holding you back? What’s worked in the past?

It might seem counter-intuitive to be so self-reflecting when you’re looking for someone else, but if you want to connect with someone else, you have to understand yourself too. Why should a one-size-fits-all rulebook be your best bet?

Pros and Cons of Long-Distance Relationships

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Sometimes, it’s just difficult to meet someone in your own small town, and you’ve turned to online dating to broaden your search. Or maybe you did meet someone by chance, but they live on the other side of the country - or the world. Suddenly you’ve become thrust into a very specific kind of dating: the long-distance relationship. Though many consider a long distance to be the death knell for relationships, in fact many have led to successful, long-term partnerships. If you’re considering a long-distance relationship, it’s important to be aware of what you’re getting yourself into; all the pros and cons.

When you’re dealing with a long-distance relationship, it’s important to be practical. Adjustments are hard enough without assuming that everything will be unicorns and rainbows. Yes, you will probably spend more money on things that are less gratifying - gas, plane tickets and visas, for example - than presents and dates. Yes, the physical aspects of your relationship will be few and far-between. Though video chat does considerably lessen the feelings of distance, you’ll still have to inherently trust your partner, more and earlier. And that’s hard, especially when a practical person does have to realize that distance makes it easier to dupe someone, too.

However, long-distance relationships are not all gloom and doom. For one thing, having to make sacrifices early and often for a relationship really encourages those “adult,” “where-do-we-stand” conversations. Partners in a long-distance relationship essentially have to be on the same page for it to work. Secondly, most long-distance relationships have closing that distance as their end goal; instead of the endless limbo of dating someone because of convenience, things will either work out or they won’t - probably on a shorter timeline. And finally, working together to overcome a common goal - the distance between you - can contribute to the bonding experience.

But be aware of the traps that lurk in long-distance relationships! First and foremost is bitterness and resentment. These are toxic in the most stable of relationships, but they breed more easily when one of you has to give up your job, home, and life to move to the other one’s location. If you don’t want to do it, maybe it just won’t work out. That’s better than making the move, resenting your partner and eventually breaking up anyway.

Another hurdle is the opinions of friends and family. Be prepared for many raised eyebrows and pointed questions. Remember that though they may seem nosy or unhelpful, most of these questions come from a place of concern and love. Don’t create enemies, especially when you might either leave or be trying to integrate someone new into your family soon. And it doesn’t hurt to consider their views, either; sometimes love can blind us to red flags.

With a combination of faith in your relationship and practical attention to detail, it’s entirely possible to turn your long-distance relationship into a long-lasting (and up-close and personal) partnership. It might not be something you want to enter lightly, but the rewards can be well worth it.