Cheating

Hot on the heels of Match’s announcement that its new service, Ask Match, will make dating coaches available for one-on-one phone sessions, Ashley Madison is planning a coaching service of its own. The dating site for affair seekers recently revealed it has been testing a "cheating coaches" feature in Brazil and the United States since March of this year.

Hiring a coach to improve your romantic game is nothing new, but Ashley Madison may be the first to apply the idea to infidelity. The feature will allow users to search for an available coach through the mobile app, then purchase time with them via a credits system. Each credit costs around 50 cents, according to Business Insider. A continuous conversation with a coach will set you back eight credits.

Is your partner a doctor? A Libertarian? Obsessed with tattoos? If so, a series of surveys from married dating site Ashley Madison says they may be more likely to cheat.

As the world’s foremost experts in affairs, with more than 39 million users in 53 countries, the folks at Ashley Madison know a thing or two about infidelity. Several studies conducted by the company this year reveal the secrets of America’s cheaters, including who’s most likely to be unfaithful, what they’re attracted to when they do it, and which partners are most likely to forgive an adulterous indiscretion.

One survey determined the professions that are most likely to stray. The most common jobs for cheating women are in the medical field (nurses/doctors). “A combination of long hours of potential stress mixed with a natural reaction to stress just might be the reason these women in the medical profession seek out an affair,” reports Ashley Madison.

Cheating. Adultery. Stepping out. Having an affair. Two-timing. Infidelity. Extracurricular activities.

We have a number of words for it, and an equally plentiful number of excuses for doing it. A new survey from Ashley Madison, the infamous online dating service that caters to extramarital encounters and claims more than 56 million members worldwide, has uncovered the most common reasons people cheat on their partners.

Ashley Madison teamed up with YourTango to ask 1,300 male and female respondents about how and why they partake in their illicit affairs. You may think the answer is simple - one too many drinks, and suddenly otherwise-attached strangers are hooking up in a grungy bar bathroom - but in fact, the act is often more premeditated than that.

By now, we’ve all heard of the latest in cyber attacks; personal information from infidelity dating website Ashley Madison was stolen by hackers who have since threatened to expose its 37 million users.

However, information about what exactly was stolen – such as credit card information or social security numbers – is still a bit hazy. Ashley Madison customer service has, according to news website Inquisitr, provided customers with conflicting information about what was subject to the hack, namely because they don’t know what was stolen and sold or given to third parties. Some customers have been told that credit card numbers weren’t hacked, but others were told that third party credit card data was indeed hacked.

A few websites have emerged to help customers see if their personal data has been leaked, including a site “Was he on Ashley Madison,” (WasHeOnAshleyMadison.com). Customers of Ashley Madison and also of hacked website Adult Friend Finder could search through emails to see if theirs were compromised. However, as of July 31, that website was put up for sale, and quickly bought by someone looking to make a statement to users of Ashley Madison and Adult Friend Finder. Hours later, what appears to be a former Ashley Madison user posted a statement lashing out against the company, including this paragraph to those who were hacked:

“You have been through enough pain and anger and anxiety about their hack without having some opportunistic scammer buy this domain and charge you money for data they do not have.

I have decided that I am going to fight the AM people so I can keep this domain. They have refused to offer any of their customers any kind of solace or at least a year of identity theft protection which is standard practice when your data is hacked. They prefer to sit in their ivory tower and hide behind their lawyers.

This is not OK with me and it should not be OK with you.”

According to Inquisitr, there have been many sites claiming to provide information for those who feel their personal information could have been hacked, but many of these sites have been nothing but spam themselves. According to an investigation by BBC, Ashley Madison users were sent emails providing links to third party websites, supposedly with information about the hack. Some included the recipient’s Ashley Madison user name, giving more credence to the email, but worrying customers that their information was indeed sold to a third party. However, when people clicked on the links, they were sent to spam sites that were booby-trapped with malware and, in some cases, graphic images and videos of adulterers ‘burning in hell.’

Now Ashley Madison users are turning to Reddit to provide current information about the hack to other users in an attempt to gain information.

One Reddit user claimed that Ashley Madison sold user information to third party sites from the beginning, because that user began getting spam emails as soon as he/she signed up on the website. While it's difficult to tell where exactly information has gone, it has been compromised. We'll see what Ashley Madison does next to address the issue.

Relationships can be difficult, because two people will not always be on the same page. You might fight or misunderstand each other from time to time. But sometimes, misunderstanding mixed with fear and insecurity can pave the way for feelings of jealousy to creep inside. And this is not a good thing.

Jealousy can wreak havoc in a relationship. It makes you fearful, questioning, insecure, and suspicious on a constant basis. It prevents you from truly letting go, having a good time, and letting your guard down. Instead, you’re preoccupied with thoughts like: “is he cheating on me?” or “who is she texting right now?”

Some jealous feelings are founded in experience. If your last couple of girlfriends cheated on you, there might be a reason to be suspicious of anyone new. But of course, protecting yourself from being hurt again by acting on your jealous feelings doesn’t serve you. In fact, it can damage an otherwise perfectly lovely relationship.

Instead of ruminating in your feelings of jealousy, no matter how real or “honest” those feelings seem, take a step back. Ask yourself: how is this jealousy serving my relationship? Is there a way I can look at things differently? Is there something I’m not seeing?

The purpose of this exercise is to take yourself out of the cycle of giving in to jealous feelings. They are rooted in fear. If you have to track your boyfriend’s phone or scroll through his messages when he’s in the bathroom because you’re afraid he’s cheating, do you think this is a healthy way to be in a relationship?

If you react to someone you love out of fear – even if it’s fear of losing the relationship – you won’t get the love and connection it is that you really want. You will only get a defensive response, no matter what the truth is.

Instead of acting out of fear, ask yourself where the jealousy comes from. Did your partner say or do something to hurt you in the past, that perhaps you haven’t fully addressed? Or are you acting out of fear of past hurts that he had nothing to do with? Or are you reacting to suspicions that you have of being unlovable – assuming that he must be looking for someone else because surely he wouldn’t love you?

All of these are reactions based in fear. Instead of giving in to your fears, try a different approach. Ask yourself where these feelings are really coming from. Tell yourself that you are enough. If you want a lasting, loving relationship, you have to love yourself first. Let your fear and jealousy go, and take things one day at a time if need be. See how your relationship can change with that one step.

Tired of meeting flaky people over dating apps like Tinder? Turns out, there’s a reason for all the disappearing acts: a recent study by GlobalWebIndex reported that up to 42% of the population on Tinder are already in relationships. And incredibly, 3 in 10 users are married. Before you start bashing men, the report also broke down information by gender, and it turns out that married and taken women on Tinder outnumber the men on the app who are already in relationships.

In response to this, and perhaps to further differentiate themselves from the popular dating app, Hinge has announced that in the latest release of its dating app, it will publish whether or not you’re in a relationship, engaged or married.

Hinge did its own study among its users, and found that 1.6 percent of them were either married or engaged, while an additional two percent were already in relationships. While Hinge wins hands-down over the high percentage of cheaters on Tinder, it still wants to do better. So in Hinge version 3.5, users who reveal they are “married,” “engaged” or “in a relationship” on Facebook will have that information pulled and shared on their Hinge profile, in an effort to shame cheaters everywhere. And if you remove your relationship status from Facebook to avoid this problem? Then you may have to explain it to your spouse or partner.

Hinge utilizes Facebook to match people who are in the same circles – Facebook friends of friends who are also using the service – so you’ve never really meeting a total stranger. At least, you will have a Facebook friend in common, which helps daters reduce the anxiety about online dating.

The new version adds another great benefit, which is more transparency in dating. Instead of finding yourself devastated to find out several dates later that your match is otherwise involved, it’s out in the open.

This might be a problem for female daters, according to the GlobalWebIndex study, since the majority of cheaters on Tinder happen to be women – the target market and primary user base for Hinge. Hinge appeals to women because of safety issues, especially those who are nervous to try a dating app, because users are matched within their own social networking circles. But if married women take to the app (and perhaps they won’t – and don’t – because they would be called out by their mutual Facebook friends), they have to go to greater lengths to hide their movements.

Regardless, it is a positive step for online dating in general to create more transparency for those who are truly looking to date other single people.