Relationships

Ever wondered what it's like to be Hugh Hefner? I can't help you with the mansion, lavish parties, and flash cars (or the cryptkeeper look and Viagra dependency), but I can help you create a Hefner-like love life. We've covered 4 of the basic rules of being a sugar baby already, so now let's have a look at what it takes to be an in-demand sugar daddy.

Finding a sugar baby, in the age of the Internet, is as easy as logging onto one of the many sugar daddy dating sites that can be found on the World Wide Web. Simply sign up, fill out a profile, and start searching. The real question is: what do you do after you've found a suitable sugar baby? How does a sugar arrangement work? Is it different from other kinds of dating relationships?

To master the art of being a successful sugar daddy, follow these rules:

1. Know exactly what you're looking for, and what you can afford. Misrepresentation is an epidemic plaguing every online dating site, and sugar daddy dating is no exception. Before entering the sugar lifestyle, be clear about what kind of companionship you're looking for. Gorgeous arm candy? Friendship? Sex? A relationship that could develop into something more meaningful? Be upfront with potential sugar babies about what you're seeking and what you plan to provide, and don't enter any arrangement that that will force you to live beyond your means.

2. Market yourself. Competition is fierce in the world of sugar daddy dating. In an environment in which the available men are often significantly older than their female companions, the most attractive (in every sense of the word) sugar daddies are in high demand. "Attractive," in this case, goes far beyond physical appearance. Are you funny, charming, well-read, artistic, or musically talented? Have you traveled the world? Can you play a sport or speak a foreign language? What makes you unique and desirable? Play up your strengths to stand out from the crowd.

3. Be safe. Don't think that, just because you're a man and not a woman, this rule doesn't apply to you. Online dating can be dangerous for anyone who isn't careful. Be cautious about the information you share, and do your best to protect yourself from the unscrupulous people who lurk online. Sugar daddy relationships are financial arrangements, but that doesn't mean that you should be frivolous about your finances. Beware of scammers and gold-diggers who are not genuinely interested in being part of the sugar lifestyle.

4. Act the part. If you don't want to live up to the image and expectations of being a sugar daddy, don't be one. Sugar babies have their visions about what the arrangement will be like, just like sugar daddies. Dress sharply. Be generous and charming. Spoil your sugar babies. Walk the walk and talk the talk. Live up to the fantasy.

Now go get your Hefner on.

For more information on a relate online dating site, please read our Sugardaddie.com review.

I'm a fan of the coffee shop date when meeting someone for the first time, but this can get old quickly. Above all, you want to feel relaxed, comfortable, and open to conversation no matter where you choose, but it's important to mix it up. Some places are better than others when it comes to choosing the location for your first date.

Following are some tips to keep in mind for first date locations:

Make sure it's affordable. The first date is an exercise in getting to know each other. Even if you feel chemistry after talking on the phone or long chat sessions, if you haven't met in person yet things could go either way. Don't be tempted to impress with an expensive dinner. Leave that for later dates.

Think about the noise. While trendy bars are great for meeting with friends, they might work against you on a date if you find yourself constantly having to shout above the noise. Bottom line, go for a drink if you'd like, but make sure it's space where you can talk.

Don't lose your date. Pick a place that isn't your favorite hole-in-the-wall with an entrance in a dark alley. Make sure your date can find it easily, and that it's not an hour drive for him and walking distance for you. Compromise is best: meet halfway, in a well-marked location. Save the mystery for later.

Plan for p*censored*ive time if it's an active date. I'm a big fan of first dates involving an activity like hiking or playing tennis. This breaks the ice, and gives you something enjoyable to do which lightens the mood. However, please remember to make time after to sit and talk, even if it's over coffee.

Dress for success. I live in L.A., but the flip flops and shorts first date is a real turn-off for most unless you're going to the beach. On the other hand, don't wear a tight miniskirt and stiletto heels either, in case your date wants to go for a walk or you end up standing at a bar. Meet in the middle. Be comfortable, yet sexy - then you're prepared no matter where you are.

When in doubt, choose comfort. I tend to pick places where I've been, so I know the parking situation, when it gets crowded, and how much it will cost by the end of the night. It's good to have some "knowns" when it comes to first dates, since it's easy to feel nervous about so many other things.

Have fun!

Let’s say you’ve put a fair amount of work into your online dating profile, and you’re pretty sure it’s as good as it’s going to get. However, you’re just not getting the responses you’d like. What could you be doing wrong?

The first place to check is the first-contact email. “Wait a minute,” you might be saying. “First-contact email? I only email someone after they’ve contacted me first.” If that’s the case, we’ve solved your problem right there. See, just existing on the website isn’t necessarily enough to bring people to your profile. You have to let them know you exist. You have to be the first one to say hello. Thus, the first-contact email.

We call an online profile a first impression, and to a great extent it’s true; however, if they didn’t stumble onto your profile themselves, for many the real first impression comes from the first-contact email. However, don’t let that intimidate you! A first-contact email should be short and sweet, a modified version of the “hello” with which you begin any conversation. In a the email, you should get across two main points: that you’re a human being and not spam, and that you’ve read their profile.

How do we do this? The easiest way is to send an email that’s not copied and pasted, and contains a question that pertains to your profile, like, “I see you like sled dogs. Have you ever been to watch the Iditarod?” In one fell swoop, you’ve established that you’re a human being who’s read and thought about their profile.

Other information is implied through the email, but addressing it directly is unnecessary. For example, there’s no need to mention that you have a profile yourself; it’s obvious, and drawing attention to it could make you seem self-centered. There’s no reason to mention that you’re interested in or attracted to the email recipient; again, you wouldn’t be emailing if you weren’t interested, and trying to hit on them after saying “hello” could create a range of impressions, ranging from tacky to creepy.

A first-contact email is some of the simplest writing you’ll do, so don’t let yourself get bogged down - or complacent (a copy-and-pasted email is a sure way to an embarr*censored*ing mistake). And don’t be afraid to send emails to many people - anyone you’re interested in. Again, the only way they’ll know you have a profile is if you say hello.

What does the sugar lifestyle have to offer? What should a sugar baby expect from her arrangement? How should a sugar baby conduct herself with her sugar daddy?

From SugarDaddie.com, to SeekingArrangement.com, to SugarDaddyForMe.com, to MillionaireDates.com, sugar daddy dating is a flourishing niche of the online dating world. For many, the thought of such an arrangement is appalling. But for many others, the idea of forming a mutually beneficial relationship with someone who can meet their needs, whatever they may be, is undeniably appealing. If you fall into the latter category, here are a few tips for being a skillful sugar baby:

1. Be the best you that you can possibly be. A sugar daddy is seeking companionship with someone extraordinary, so to be a successful sugar baby you must live up to the fantasy. This goes far beyond simply being beautiful. An expert sugar baby attractive, but also cultured, charming, funny, playful, and intelligent. She is confident, intriguing, and entertaining. She loves life, and does her best to bring fun to the lives of those around her. A sugar daddy improves the life of his sugar baby, and she must return the favor.

2. Be appreciative. If accepting the generosity of others makes you feel uncomfortable or guilty, a sugar daddy arrangement is probably not for you. To be a sugar baby, you must let go of the idea that benefits must be earned, and that receiving gifts without reason makes you spoiled. A man enters a sugar daddy relationship because he wants to pamper a woman and provide her with the things she seeks, whether they be in the form of money, gifts, or all-expenses-paid travel. Accept the things you're given graciously.

3. Be on your guard. This factors into the sugar lifestyle in two ways:

• Emotions - beyond the connection of friendship - have no place in a sugar daddy arrangement. Hopefully your sugar daddy is someone you truly like and enjoy spending time with, but falling in love is not an option. Do your best to keep your emotions in check.

• Your safety, as with online dating in any form, is a primary concern. Most men on sugar daddy sites are genuinely good people, but there are always a few frogs among the princes. Always meet in public places, and go with your gut.

4. Be honest at all times. Discuss the terms of your arrangement upfront, with clarity and strict attention to detail. Be clear about what you're willing to provide, and what exactly you want from your sugar daddy. Each person's expectations should be well-defined, and both parties should do their best to meet them. If your expectations are not being met, terminate the agreement and find a new one in which they are. Never stay in a relationship that makes you unhappy or does not meet your needs.

Now that you know a few of the key rules of being in a sugar arrangement, tell us: Would you ever consider being a sugar baby?

For more information on a relate online dating site, please read our Sugar Daddie review.

Do you find yourself going on a lot of first dates, but rarely getting to date number two? Are you bored with the women you're meeting, or with the process in general? While not everyone is a good fit or fun to be with, there are a few things you can do to improve your game.

The key is spontaneity. Women are attracted to men they find interesting and unpredictable. Most of the time however, people are more reserved when they first meet someone for a date. Instead of showing your true selves and capabilities, you worry about how you come across and what she thinks. This often interferes with any spontaneous activity, which means your dates may not see the creative, quirky and perhaps even romantic person you truly are. Why not show it off a bit?

Many daters today are also more comfortable with casual dating, which means texting or calling at the last minute to "hang out" instead of planning. It's a good way to ensure your feelings will be protected, because you aren't putting yourself out there in any way. This is hardly inspiring for a romantic connection to be made.

Instead of holding back in your dating life and trying to be nonchalant about everyone you meet, consider inserting some intrigue and excitement into your search for love. This will make you stand out from all the other guys. Following are some tips for being spontaneous (although please deviate from this list if you're so inspired---that's the point)!

Keep it a surprise. Ask her to meet at a restaurant or coffee shop, but when you arrive take her to the ice rink across the street. Or tell her to bring walking shoes when you meet in front of a local bar, and take her to an art walk instead. Changing plans or being mysterious will spark her interest and curiosity, and wonder what you might do next.

Stay away from the typical questions. Instead of asking her about work, her family, where she went to school, or anything else that's predictable, focus on other questions. There's no need to get into politics or the exes though! Ask her about a p*censored*ion or hobby, or where she'd like to travel in the next year, or what kind of show she'd like to see on TV if she could create one. Keep it different.

Bring her something unique. I don't mean expensive flowers, jewelry, chocolates or anything that tries to buy her affection. I'm not talking about gifts, but rather gestures to show her you're different from the other guys. Make her a card, or bring her a sample of your favorite dessert from the bakery down the street, or present her with a candle for future romantic dinners together. These small, thoughtful, and unexpected gestures go a long way.

Try it on your next date and see what happens...

While many singles look primarily to online dating for meeting new people, what about the intriguing men or women you see in the supermarket, coffee shop, or Laundromat? Have you shied away from approaching someone new because you were afraid of rejection, that you might look silly, or that you wouldn't be able to hold a conversation long enough to ask her out?

If so, rest *censored*ured you're not alone. Many people don't approach because they are afraid or nervous. However, I like the idea of being open to possibility when it comes to dating. That means taking advantage of every opportunity presented. If you're attracted to someone standing in line for a smoothie (if he or she doesn't have a ring on the finger), start talking! But keep in mind, respect and consideration are most important when approaching a stranger - you don't want to scare her off!

Following are some tips to help you master the art of the approach:

*censored*ess mutual interest. Try to make eye contact first and smile. If he or she smiles back, then it's time to think about your next step. If she avoids you, then keep your distance. You don't want to put pressure on her or make her feel uncomfortable.

Talk to him/her. After eye contact is made, the next step is the approach. Be relaxed. If you don't know how to begin, keep it simple (no cliché pick-up lines). Recommend a coffee drink to her if you're at the coffee shop. If you're witty, use humor.

Pay attention to her response. If she seems open and engaged, then continue your conversation. If she shuts down by looking at her phone, talking to her friend, or making excuses to stop talking to you, take the hint. There's no need to pursue if there's no mutual interest. Move on.

Should you ask for the number? I don't recommend asking her out right on the spot. This puts a lot of pressure on someone you just met. However, providing a business card with your number so she can take the lead is an option. If you're feeling mutual attraction and she seems engaged, go ahead and ask for her number. It's important to pay attention to social cues.

Don't stalk. If you're too nervous to talk to her while she's in line in front of you, don't try to make up for it by following her out the door and to her next stop. Let bygones be bygones, and chalk it up to doing better the next time you have an opportunity.