Dating Tip: Mastering the Approach

While many singles look primarily to online dating for meeting new people, what about the intriguing men or women you see in the supermarket, coffee shop, or Laundromat? Have you shied away from approaching someone new because you were afraid of rejection, that you might look silly, or that you wouldn't be able to hold a conversation long enough to ask her out?

If so, rest *censored*ured you're not alone. Many people don't approach because they are afraid or nervous. However, I like the idea of being open to possibility when it comes to dating. That means taking advantage of every opportunity presented. If you're attracted to someone standing in line for a smoothie (if he or she doesn't have a ring on the finger), start talking! But keep in mind, respect and consideration are most important when approaching a stranger - you don't want to scare her off!

Following are some tips to help you master the art of the approach:

*censored*ess mutual interest. Try to make eye contact first and smile. If he or she smiles back, then it's time to think about your next step. If she avoids you, then keep your distance. You don't want to put pressure on her or make her feel uncomfortable.

Talk to him/her. After eye contact is made, the next step is the approach. Be relaxed. If you don't know how to begin, keep it simple (no cliché pick-up lines). Recommend a coffee drink to her if you're at the coffee shop. If you're witty, use humor.

Pay attention to her response. If she seems open and engaged, then continue your conversation. If she shuts down by looking at her phone, talking to her friend, or making excuses to stop talking to you, take the hint. There's no need to pursue if there's no mutual interest. Move on.

Should you ask for the number? I don't recommend asking her out right on the spot. This puts a lot of pressure on someone you just met. However, providing a business card with your number so she can take the lead is an option. If you're feeling mutual attraction and she seems engaged, go ahead and ask for her number. It's important to pay attention to social cues.

Don't stalk. If you're too nervous to talk to her while she's in line in front of you, don't try to make up for it by following her out the door and to her next stop. Let bygones be bygones, and chalk it up to doing better the next time you have an opportunity.