Relationships

Hi I'm Sapphireblue78 ;) that's my nic. I'm a 27 year old single gal like everyone looking for love! When it comes to kisses, flirts, smiles ect. they come freely. Some from nice guys, shy guys, all backgrounds and ages. Some hits and some err.... misses. So why after about 2 years on a dating site am I still single and looking? Let me pour a glass of wine and spill all...

Ok so at first I got so much attention I didn't know what to do. Id recently broken up with my boyfriend and was feeling a little fragile (been there?). Chat boosted my ego enormously. It took about 8 months of celibacy and going out of my mind to finally meet up with bachelor no 1. A moody dark hot fellow who against better judgment I met up with and ended up in a hot night of passion ;0 oops! He soon made it clear that he wasn't actually interested in a relationship so it was back on the wagon. I moved to the Inner city where I figured there had to be a better opportunity I met bachelor no 2 and just had no spark, at all even after 3 months of dating (don't string it out if you don't feel it) the "but he's a nice guy and has his *censored* together" Girls DONT SETTLE if you don't feel it cut your losses and move on. So on went more meetings where some didn't look anything like the picture, some I just didn't hit it off at all or vice versa.

The most current date which I thought I had finally struck gold! relationship material, gorgeous, seemed to have *censored* together didn't..... very disappointing...very.

My personal take on net dating is to send a few emails or chat on MSN to see if you "feel it" the conversation flows and you have a lot in common. I also make it very clear that If I we meet up its just as friends and not to have unrealistic expectations. There is no need to put yourself under that kind of pressure if its meant to be it will. I also say that if you or I don't feel it just say and its all good no hard feelings and good luck with it all.

I have found by being honest and upfront I haven't had any experiences where a bloke has felt I led him on. I find that people on these sites weather its subconscious or not have an expectation of some type.

Touch wood by taking this approach I have not had a "bad date". I don't understand how love got so complicated all at once do you?

I am trying to get out more and meet people but have you noticed how they don't interact? You can be in a crowded room and feel completely alone coz people don't talk to each other. I look someone in the eye and they look away or at the floor like they cant stand it.

If there is one thing I have learned its that the whole dating and love game is a mind F...k you need to know 2 things for certain- who you are and what you want and never let go- people will influence and throw you off but if you aren't true to those 2 things you wont find happiness which is the most important thing.

The other thing you need is a good friend, someone who you can talk too and rely on no matter what and someone you don't ditch if you do get a man! When a storm comes you need someone to show you that the sun is just behind the clouds in your mind.

I have faith in me, I have faith in you and we have faith in being true to ourselves and know that one day we will meet the person who is our match. I wish you all the very best in your search......thank you for reading.

When it comes to flirting, you can get your point across very easily just using your eyes. Take a moment and watch people who are in love. See how they look at each other - they stare directly into each other's eyes for extended periods of time. Look at mere friends. See their eyes? They seem to flit back and forth, making eye contact, but never extended eye contact.

What do I mean by extended eye contact? Holding someone's gaze for 1-2 seconds. Looking deep into their eyes for that time. I realize that couples may look at each other in this way for longer periods of time, but remember they are ALLOWED to do this - they are a couple. For our purposes, you are just flirting.

If you were to try and stare into some girl's eyes for long periods of time (especially if you don't know her), she will think that you're staring at her and she'll think that you're strange (because you're making her feel uncomfortable).

The goal here is to make eye contact with her, and to hold her attention by looking straight into her eyes for a couple of seconds so that she gets the idea that you're interested in her.

Be sure to smile, or to at least have a partial smile on your face as you do this. If you stare at her like this with a stone face, you'll freak her out. She'll either think that you're mad at her, or that you're just some type of psycho (both are bad).

If she seems to quickly look away, she is either playing hard to get, or she doesn't have an interest in you. Either way, if you feel that she's worth the effort, you will probably have to persue some decent conversation with her.

There are few things worse to a single person than being all alone, dateless, and stuck in on a Saturday night.

After all, since time immemorial, Saturday night has always been the main one for going out and having fun, hasn't it. Gangs of friends all go out on the town together, as do all those courting couples, whose blissful togetherness never fails to make you green and sick with envy.

And while everybody else is having all this fun, painting the town red, getting merrily inebriated, and snogging outside nightclubs, you are pitiably all on your own, with nobody in the world to share such weekend indulgences with. You feel so miserable, so isolated, and so unloved, that it seems as if you are the only person in the world who hasn't got anybody. Of course, in reality, that's just not true, for the lonely hearts columns and internet dating agencies are just packed with thousands of similarly lonely people, all searching for companionship.

Even so, as you continue to brood in utter misery and isolation, in your cold and empty room, you just cannot shake off the nagging feeling that you have been cruelly singled out by some grossly unfair quirk of fate to be single - and, perhaps, single all your life.

Not a very comforting prospect, is it?

So what can you do about it? What would be the ideal solution to your depressing problem of being all alone on a Saturday night?

As you sit there in your armchair, munching slowly and meditatively from the box of chocolates resting on your knee, watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire (oh for money and the good life!), your mind starts to run through possible answers that could enrich your barren social life beyond your wildest dreams.

What about trying the lonely hearts columns again? Hmmmm, don't know whether it's worthwhile really. Because when you think back to all those occasions when you did venture to select and contact suitable advertisers, you cringe inwardly as you recall all the resulting disappointments you met with. The worst were the ones who didn't even bother to reply when you left a message on their voice mail box number. Sheer ignorance or what! It only goes to show how some of these so-called "lonely hearts" advertisers can turn out to be . . . well, so heartless.

Then how about scouring the local paper's entertainment section for any single clubs in your area for, say, 18-30's? Nope, not trying that again, you decide, scowling unfavourably at the thought. You remember the last time you went along to one of these "singles nights". Far from being a paradise full of attractive, unattached people, it turned out to be a hell-hole of drunken yobs and foul-mouthed slappers, an unsavoury ambience that was only exacerbated by the deafeningly loud music. Even if the clientele had have been approachable, there was no way you could have struck up an audible conversation anyway with that racket.

Then what about trying the internet dating sites? But again you hesitate, then drop the idea as yet more bitter memories of dating- search frustration flood your mind. God knows how many of these online dating sites you've tried before. For some reason, you seem to be the only person who never seems to have much luck with them. And you can never forget the time when you were taken in by the photo of what you thought was your ideal partner - only to find, when you actually met that person, that they looked nothing like their photo, but more like something that had just been thrown out of Tussaud's Chamber of Horrors for being too ugly! God, what a shock that had been!

As your lonely Saturday night hours tick by, so your brain discards option after option regarding how to solve your loveless loneliness. It's looking bleak again, isn't it? Just what on earth can you do to meet your perfect partner? How can you break free from this endless prison of Saturday night loneliess, boredom and misery?

As Chris Tarrant ends his Millionaire show, and as all the adverts come on, you glance at the clock on the wall: 9.00 p.m. The pubs should be filling up by now, full of revellers living Saturday night to the full. God how you envy them! They have company. You don't. Life is a *censored*. Life stinks.

Life is passing you by.

In another couple of hours, you will be sliding into your carpet slippers to shuffle into the kitchen to make yourself a hot drink. You feel old before your time, which in truth is quite a ridiculous attitude to harbour, as you are still only 35. But that's what being single and lonely does to you. You feel as if nobody wants to know you. You feel so rejected and unwanted, just like a very old person might feel.

You sigh wearily, dejectedly, as you reach for the remote control. Flicking through the channels, your despondency at being single is only irritated by the endless stream of programs depicting happy couples in love, snogging away fervently and ostentatiously. You curse with burning jealously. In Heaven's name, why oh why do are these TV producers so couples orientated these days? What about doing some shows for single people for a change?

Becoming utterly sick to death of these over-passionate love scenes, you decide to switch off the TV set and go and make your nightcap. To alleviate the silence of the house, you switch on the radio, then slump down at the kitchen table, waiting for your milk to boil.

As the night time DJ waffles on between records, you just hope he doesn't decide to play any records whose theme might centre on lonely people on a Saturday night, with nobody to talk to. Such melodies only rub salt into a lonely person's wounds, until you feel like screaming at the DJ to turn that (BLEEP)-ing thing off!

Well, blessedly, he doesn't play any such record, and for the next ten minutes or so, you sit at the kitchen table, supping your steaming Horlicks and trying to think of new avenues to explore with a view to ending your Saturday night loneliness forever.

Oh no, the DJ doesn't play any unsuitable songs . . . but, just after the news, he does start a segment in his show which, as far as you are concerned, is the last straw: he starts reading out all those lovey-dovey, slushy, utterly irritating dedications. Messages like "To Sexy Bum, from your loving Hunk."

That's it!

Slamming your empty mug down on the table angrily, you jump up from your seat and dash to the sideboard to switch off the radio. That's enough of all that stomach-churning sweet talk, thank you very much!

Time for bed, you think. Get your head down. Make Saturday night go over quicker by having an early night.

Being single is a bummer.

Being single on a Saturday night - when everybody else is out enjoying themselves - is a double bummer.

As you switch off the light and snuggle down under the bedclothes, you find that before too long, you start drifting off to sleep. A deep, peaceful, contented sleep.

And suddenly, it's Saturday night again!

God, how it comes around so quickly!

Only this time, you are not alone. You are with the partner of your dreams. At long last! And you are on the town, pubbing and clubbing, and living Saturday night to the full, as it should be lived. You couldn't be more happier.

Thank God for dreams!

Dating has become easier for everyone due to the emergence and success of online dating websites. You can choose the site that suits you best, look for people who have the features you desire along with common interests and contact them immediately. Some dating sites are featuring their own instant messaging for members to instantly communicate with each other. This is a great way to make contact and get excited about a new date. But when you start chatting back and forth, the other person is typing recognizable words along with small clusters of letters here and there. What are they saying? These are considered to be "Net Lingo" and are commonly used Internet acronyms.

411 - Information
AFK - Away from keyboard
AISI - As I see it
AMBW - All my best wishes
ATST - At the same time
B4 - Before
B4N - Bye for now
BBIAF - Be back in a few
BBL - Be back later
BBN - Bye-bye now
BS - Big Smile
BTW - By the way
CID - Consider it done
CSL - Can't stop laughing
CWYL - Chat with you later
DGT - Don't go there
DHYB - Don't hold your breath
DKDC - Don't know, don't care
EG - Evil Grin
EOM - End of message
FOAF - Friend of a friend
FTTB - For the time being
FWIW - For what it's worth
FYI - For your information
GAL - Get a life
GL - Good Luck
GR8 - Great
GTG - Got to go
GTSY - Glad to see ya
HAGO - Have a good one
HAK - Hugs and Kisses
HB - Hurry Back
HHOK - Ha, ha only kidding
HTH - Hope this helps
IAE - In any event
IDKY - I don't know you
ILY - I love you
IMO - In my opinion
IRL - In real life
IYSS - If you say so
J/W - Just wondering
KIT - Keep in touch
KWIM - Know what I mean
LD - Long distance
LMK - Let me know
LOL - Laughing out loud
LTIC - Laughing 'til I cry
LTNS - Long time no see
LYL - Love ya lots
M8 - Mate
MRS - Meet real soon
MWBRL - More will be revealed later
MYOB - Mind your own business
NBD - No big deal
NOYB - None of your business
NP - No problem
OIC - Oh I see
ONNA - Oh no, not again
OOC - Out of Character
OT - Off topic
OTOH - On the other hand
POV - Point of view
RBTL - Read between the lines
RN - Right now
SF - Super friendly
SNAG - Sensitive new age guy
STYS - Speak to you soon
SWDYT - So what do you think
TAH - Take a hike
TIAIL - Think I am in love
TIC - Tongue in cheek
TM - Trust me
TMI - Too much information
TTYL - Talk to you later
TYVM - Thank you very much
VM - Voice mail
WE - Whatever
WG - Wicked grin
WYRN - What's your real name
WYSIWYG - What you see is what you get
YAFI - You asked for it
YDKM - You don't know me
YNK - You never know