Relationships

There are a couple schools of thought regarding online dating profiles for single parents. I’ll present both and let you decide which rings true for you and your situation.

Don’t Mention Your Children

Your online dating profile is about you, not your children. The only place you need to mention your children is in the stats area where you select “Have kids,” how many, and your custody arrangement.

After all, your potential match isn’t going to be dating your children – they’ll be dating YOU. You are more than a mother or father. Think about what makes you unique and cool that has nothing to do with your children. Eventually they’ll be grown and out of the house and you’ll have to relate to your spouse on other levels.

Are you someone who signed up to ChristianCafe and are still not sure if they are the right online dating site for you? To help you decide, check out their member testimonials. They are listed by year and month, and go as far back as 2002. Each testimonial contains a message from the happy couple along with a few photos (usually from the wedding).

If you haven't become a member yet of this dating site, read our review of ChristianCafe for more information and to find out how to receive a 10 day free trial that gives you complete access to the service (communication included). No credit card is required for the free trial.

It seems that many in Gen Y are suffering from “failure to launch.” Or after launching, are returning to the nest for a few years for varying reasons. I’m not exactly sure why this is, but it seems to be happening more and more these days. So what do you do if you want to find love but you’re still living with Mom & Dad? Are you doomed to being single?

This all depends on why you’re living with your parents. There are people who are living at home for all the wrong reasons. Maybe you crash in Mom’s basement because you’d rather stay there than move in a friend or find a roommate. This isn’t horrible, but it’s harder to explain to a potential date. After all, you must have enough friends that you could find a roommate somewhere, right?

Then there are the moochers. They live with Mom because Mom lets them live there for next to nothing. They get food, they get their laundry done, it’s all the perks and none of the work! Sadly, if you fall into this category, your best chance at romance is to find someone who is either crazily desperate for a relationship or another moocher like yourself. Moochers lack the ambition and motivation to make their lives better – and generally will treat their romantic relationships the same way they treat their Moms – as a means to an end.

I’m no Dr. Phil, but if you want a healthy love relationship, you need a healthy life first. In general, the first step to a healthy life is leaving the nest and building up your future.

On the flip side, if you’re living at home for a good reason, you should have no problem finding an understanding partner. Good reasons for living at home include being a caretaker for a sick or elderly parent or helping out at home due to a financial mishap that has made life difficult for either you or your parents. I recommend checking “Live with roommates” on your profile – it’s not a lie and it will keep you in the running for search results in a way that “lives with parents/extended family” will not.

Once you’ve established communication with a match and things are going well, you can mention why you are living at home. There will be folks who will be turned off and leave no matter what your reason. However, most people will be reasonable and understanding of your circumstances. Hang in there and you’ll be sure to find the right person for you and your living circumstances.

I am old enough to remember how picking up at bars use to be like, before everyone had a cell phone. An article in The Examiner reminded me of how the simple thing as asking a girl for her phone number at the local bar has changed. All of this is due to the cell phone. Now days everyone has a cell phone and for the most part, to contact someone in their twenties or thirties you either email them, send a text message or call their cell phone. Back in the early 90's (I just dated myself 😀), if you were lucky to get a woman's phone number by the end of the night at a club or bar, you really had no idea if it was fake or not. Now days, all you have to do is pull out your cell phone and text her or give her a call. This means a woman will rarely give out a fake number anymore. If she does she risks embarrassing herself when the guy calls or texts her 5 minutes later.

For some dating sites that are accessible through mobile phones, check out our Dating Sites for Cell Phones category.

The dating world can be tough enough as it is, but what if you hold an opinion that flies in the face of the whole “purpose” of dating? I’m talking about those folks who for whatever reason don’t want children. I’m one of them and prefer to refer to myself as “childfree” rather than “childless.” The latter assumes that I’m lacking children while the former expresses my freedom from them. It’s not that I hate kids; I actually love children and spent several years as a teacher. I just don’t want any of my own.

If you feel the same way, there are a couple things you should know to make your dating profile reflect your choice without setting people up to make incorrect assumptions about your character:

Don’t write directly about your childfree beliefs. This often comes off in the wrong way and may scare away some people who would have otherwise been interested in you.

Decide whether you want better quality matches or more matches. Then select your choice under “Wants Kids” accordingly. If you choose “Don’t want kids” you’ll get fewer matches, but they’ll all share your beliefs. If you choose “Not sure” you’ll get more matches, but there’s a chance they’ll start hearing a biological clock ticking one day.

When searching for potential matches, your first priority is to scan through those who don’t want children. Once you’ve exhausted those possibilities, switch to “Not sure.” Remember, there are many people out there who are on the edge of wanting / not wanting children.

Men dedicated to the childfree lifestyle should stop their search at the “Not sure” option. Ladies, here’s a secret for you – expand your search to include men who check “Someday.” Most men who check that option mean “Someday, if my wife wants them.” They want what you want, and if you want no kids, most of them would be perfectly fine with that.

Remember, you’re in the minority, so you’ll need to put a little more effort into your search. Keep a positive attitude and focus on the end result – no dirty diapers, sleeping through the night, and the freedom to do whatever you’d like with your soulmate!

There is an interesting article in the New York Times about evolutions role in finding a partner. Most people believe when it comes to dating, women usually are pickier than men.

The usual explanation is evolutionary: because women have a bigger investment in reproduction — they are the ones who have to endure pregnancy, childbirth and breast-feeding — they need to hedge their bets against selecting a dud to be the father.

With the rise of Speed Dating, Psychologists now have easier access to information in a semi controlled environment to test this theory of women being more selective about their mate. Eli Finkel and Paul Eastwick of Northwestern University have recently published a experiment they did which challenges the current thinking. They found that it didn't matter what sex the person was. A person who initiates contact, in regards to going out on a date, tends to be less selective about who he or she asks when compared to the person who is being asked.