Relationships

There’s no doubt about it: the holidays can make you do things that you might not entertain at other times of the year. Office parties are no exception. They offer a great release from the stress of work, a chance to just hang and have fun. But alcohol and co-workers sometimes don’t mix.

So what happens if you hook up with a co-worker in the heat of the moment, after a few *censored*tails at the office holiday party? Should you just avoid eye contact for a couple of weeks, waiting for the whole thing to fade away into a distant memory? Or should you come clean on a secret crush you’ve been harboring?

When it comes to co-workers, it’s best to keep work and play separate. Even if you are a colleague with your object of affection rather than a subordinate or supervisor, things can get messy when you see the person on a regular basis. But if you’ve already crossed that line and are wondering what to do, there are a few things I suggest to make things bearable.

First, don’t beat yourself up. Maybe you didn’t want to lead your co-worker on, but now he has a mad crush on you since your hook-up. Instead of avoiding the breakroom, have a conversation with him. Tell him up front that you’re not interested in a relationship. Sure, it might be uncomfortable for a few days, but better this than making excuses and avoiding him for an indefinite period of time.

If you’re harboring a secret crush and despite hooking up, you aren’t sure if he feels the same way, it’s time to have an honest conversation. If you want a relationship, let him know, but be prepared that he might not feel the same way. Don’t play coy…if you try to act like it’s no big deal, you’ll hurt yourself in the long-run. Own up to your feelings, it’s ok to have them.

Most notably, if your job is important to you and your company has guidelines about who you can and can’t date, it’s best to follow them. You don’t want to risk your chances of being promoted, or worse, being let go. Leave your hook-up as a one-time occurrence and move on, keeping your love life out of the office.

Online dating - everyone's doing it, just ask any young single person. Here's 10 reasons to give online dating ago!

1. 70% of singles looking online admit to seeking a life long and genuine mate - better stats than trying your luck at a seedy wine bar.
2. You can meet new men and women at anytime of the day or night because online dating sites are open 24/7. Furthermore, you can go online dating in your pajamas.
3. Contacting other daters are quick and to the point thanks to web cam and IM chat functionality.
4. The convenience of choosing your date from dating profiles allows you to easily make a short list of potential mates without having to waste time and effort going on blind dates.
5. Even if you don't find instant chemistry online at first, there is the potential to meet new friends who share common interests which can also open doors to become part of a new network of people.
6. Most people have been associated with someone who met their mate on the Internet, so there's every possibility you might be next.
7. Fear of rejection is not as evident compared to offline scenarios. Singles chatting online are usually aware of the rules that apply with online personals meaning nobody is obligated to date someone simply because communication has occurred.
8. Online dating sites are not always about finding your soul mate. Other reasons to try online dating is so people can form interest groups and share activities allowing you to network with people which can sometimes lead to meeting someone special.
9. Online dating is a very inexpensive alternative to traditional dating options. You need not have to find new clothes to wear or spruce up to meet new people. No one will know what you're wearing - unless you want them to.
10. Online dating is a brilliant way to overcome shyness and insecurities, take things at your own speed.

Whether you are searching for something serious, a fling or for a new network of friends, Internet dating provides a gateway to meet new people outside of your hometown venues. Try and imagine the opportunities that await, there's nothing to lose so give online dating ago, it works!

Matt Fuller provides article services for the online dating industry. Matt's dating and relationship articles are available for free for your information and research.

In a recession, it's important to live within your means. The subway replaces expensive cab rides. Trips to Payless replace trips to Macy's and Bloomingdale's. Ordering in replaces dinners out.

But did you know that the recession is also causing many people to love within their means? Daters are becoming less picky about their relationships, and things that once seemed like deal breakers and nonnegotiable needs are being reconsidered. In the wake of the recession, LoveGeist researchers found that UK daters are moving away from a romantic, fairytale vision of love towards a more realistic frame of mind. As security becomes a priority, idealism is falling by the wayside, and daters no longer believe that Mr. or Mrs. Right will be a "perfect" match.

When asked if they have become increasingly fussy in the search for a long-term partner, 47% of respondents said "Yes," but an examination of the data shows that the opposite is more likely true. "Security," according to the Report, "shared values, and sexual/personal compatibility outrank physical attractiveness in terms of what daters consider to be the most important traits when looking for love," and more than 70% agree that their views on what makes a perfect partner have changed as they have aged ad matured.

Other data confirms this hypothesis:

• 1 in 10 people surveyed reported splitting up with a former partner because their expectations of them were too high (which indicates that many daters are beginning to adopt a more realistic approach to relationships).
• More than 80% of daters said that they would prefer a considerate expression of love to an extravagant one (though romance is still important, especially to older generations).
• Daters are no longer waiting for the perfect match to stumble into their lives - they are willing to actively make changes in their lives to facilitate finding love. Less than 15% said they would not make any changes at all, while 30% said they would change how much of a priority their career is, 40% would alter the amount of time they spend at work, and almost half were willing to relocate.

LoveGeist's findings also suggest that singles in the UK are learning vital lessons from previous relationships that are influencing their current less idealistic approach to dating. "Rather than compromising and experiencing the same problems time and time again," says the Report, "there is a renewed sense of practicality. Some say they have learned to expect less from a partner, to tolerate the odd imperfection, some to share more and to be more adaptable with regard to their values. And a third want to be more open-minded in the future."

Relationship expert Kate Taylor sums up the new realistic approach to romance best:

"I think the age of austerity has encouraged us to look for love, and to keep love going. When life is easy, we can be tempted to dream of the IDEAL partner, the perfect person who'll never get on our nerves and who will always say the right thing. But when times are tough, we appreciate just having someone there to share the load. The bad economy is awful, but wonderful for love.... A combined struggle is marvellous for making you overlook faults and focus on what's important."

For more information on this popular dating site for singles in the United Kingdom you can read our Match.com UK review.

Thanksgiving marks the beginning of holiday season, where you're sure to be invited to parties, dinners and other festive events. It's a great time of year to meet people, so why not take advantage and try out some new flirting techniques (or maybe just brush up on some oldies but goodies)?

1. Positive attitude. People do pick up on body language and demeanor, so if you walk into a room angry, tired, or depressed it will show. This is not the way to attract a great guy or girl to you! Pick yourself up beforehand so you can walk into a party feeling like your best self---listen to your favorite music while getting ready, try out a new hairstyle, or buy a new lipstick to help put you in the mood to have fun.

2. Smile and make eye contact. This may seem like a no-brainer, but many people don't smile or make eye contact when they are talking to someone. If you want to flirt, this is the best way to get someone's attention. If you are across the room, making eye contact (without looking away) will send a signal to the guy you're interested in to come over and talk.

3. Laugh. Parties are great places for casual conversations and funny stories. If you have one, share it, and if he has one, don't be afraid to laugh or reply with witty banter. No need to go overboard, but this lets him know you're interested.

4. Don't be a wallflower. If your tendency is to stand by the punchbowl until someone approaches you, then be prepared to wait. Instead of being a wallflower, introduce yourself to new people and join in conversations. Circulating is the best way to network and increase your potential for meeting someone new.

5. Don't hover. If you're interested in someone and try to hang around him all evening, it tends to work against you. Keep a little mystery alive. Spend some time with him and move on. If he's interested, he will come back to you.

6. Have fun. Most importantly, don't take yourself or anyone else at the party too seriously. After all, you're all there to have fun. Enjoy your friends, relax, and have a good time with no expectations of meeting the perfect guy or girl. When you're having fun, you're attractive to others.

Personal fitness trainers and life coaches are a common service utilized by many professional men and women nowadays. So where can people go to fine-tune their dating skills? Ever considered hiring a dating coach to get your social life up and running again?

There is an upward trend emerging in dating land to assist singles who lack skills relating to confidence, have a fear of rejection and lack fundamental dating etiquette. So if you're convinced you need some help brushing up on your ability to flirt and easily mingle, think about asking a dating coach for help.

One of the key areas men make mistakes is not taking measures to lift their self-image and self-assurance. Behaving in a timid or submissive fashion when in the presence of a woman doesn't send the right signals. The absolute majority of ladies need to be confident that their guy is able to take control of a given situation. It's a classic case of the man establishing that he's the protector so she feels safe and protected in his presence. Women search beyond the physiological attributes, where by charm and interpersonal chemistry comes first.

On the flip side, men are very visual and will assess distinct physical qualities ahead of her personality. Whilst it's a shallow way to determine initial attraction, a man's biology seems to be programmed this way according to modern times, history and early civilization courting rituals. Men are also very attracted to a woman's level of independence.

There are a variety of reasons why single men are increasingly using a dating coach over and beyond the obvious reasons such as improving their social ability. Some western men prefer to date women outside their own country or culture hence require dating advice regarding other cultures. A dating coach is also a brilliant idea for singles who are considering joining an online dating site. When dating online it's crucial you set up an interesting and appealing dating profile.

Investing in a good dating coach will help improve your physical image and to bring out your natural personality that's been locked away for fear of failing. Neil Strauss focuses on the development of the private seduction community, which is run by typical nerds who have transformed themselves into super-cool ladies men - certainly a recommended read.

When you are choosing which dating coach to engage, take steps to research them and look towards acquaintances or friends who may be able to recommend someone suitable.

Matt Fuller is a contributing guest author providing online dating articles and relationship advice.

At the beginning of a relationship, when you're first getting along with someone who's compatible, it's thrilling. You're not worried about comparing yourself to any fairy-tale romance you might have read – after all, you're writing your own story now. The level of romance in your relationship is the level of romance that is perfect for you. Like Goldilocks, you've found something that is just right.

If only we could keep that “high” forever. However, somewhere between the buzz of first getting together and peaceful, comfortable, enduring love, many couples go through growing pains. And unfortunately, one of the most common growing pains involves comparing yourself to other couples – people you know, fictional pairs in fairy tales, even past relationships. People begin to wonder: is my relationship romantic enough? Are we doing this whole “romance” thing correctly?

Comparisons typically crop up around a holiday or event. Sure, we're all writing our own stories, but at certain times, chapters overlap. What are you doing for the winter holidays? Aren't you going to make her Valentine's Day the best she's ever had? Did you hear about that over-the-top proposal? That groom-to-be is so lovingly involved in every aspect of his wedding planning! Even if you weren't feeling pressure from friends and family, the world of media will fill in the gap, with commercials and article that imply that you should be doing something differently, better, or more expensively.

Here's a little of my own personal experience: I've known men who were more involved in planning their wedding than the bride. I've known women who would die of embarrassment at some public romantic gesture. I've known people who have fallen more in line with gender stereotypes when it comes to romance, and those who have blown those preconceptions out of the water. And I've known couples for whom the strangest things were utterly romantic – because it fit them.

It's hard to remember, but you are, indeed, writing your own story. In fact, you might be the couple that your friends and family compare their own experiences against. Don't be concerned about whether you're doing things exactly right – do what's right for you and your partner. Insecurity may be a part of growth, but there's no need to linger in this phase any longer than necessary. Remember why you and your partner fit so well together, and don't try to be anything else. In your relationship story, don't be a critic – be a co-author.