Focus On Your Own Story
- Monday, December 20 2010 @ 09:40 am
- Contributed by: Jet
- Views: 1,481
At the beginning of a relationship, when you're first getting along with someone who's compatible, it's thrilling. You're not worried about comparing yourself to any fairy-tale romance you might have read – after all, you're writing your own story now. The level of romance in your relationship is the level of romance that is perfect for you. Like Goldilocks, you've found something that is just right.
If only we could keep that “high” forever. However, somewhere between the buzz of first getting together and peaceful, comfortable, enduring love, many couples go through growing pains. And unfortunately, one of the most common growing pains involves comparing yourself to other couples – people you know, fictional pairs in fairy tales, even past relationships. People begin to wonder: is my relationship romantic enough? Are we doing this whole “romance” thing correctly?
Comparisons typically crop up around a holiday or event. Sure, we're all writing our own stories, but at certain times, chapters overlap. What are you doing for the winter holidays? Aren't you going to make her Valentine's Day the best she's ever had? Did you hear about that over-the-top proposal? That groom-to-be is so lovingly involved in every aspect of his wedding planning! Even if you weren't feeling pressure from friends and family, the world of media will fill in the gap, with commercials and article that imply that you should be doing something differently, better, or more expensively.
Here's a little of my own personal experience: I've known men who were more involved in planning their wedding than the bride. I've known women who would die of embarrassment at some public romantic gesture. I've known people who have fallen more in line with gender stereotypes when it comes to romance, and those who have blown those preconceptions out of the water. And I've known couples for whom the strangest things were utterly romantic – because it fit them.
It's hard to remember, but you are, indeed, writing your own story. In fact, you might be the couple that your friends and family compare their own experiences against. Don't be concerned about whether you're doing things exactly right – do what's right for you and your partner. Insecurity may be a part of growth, but there's no need to linger in this phase any longer than necessary. Remember why you and your partner fit so well together, and don't try to be anything else. In your relationship story, don't be a critic – be a co-author.
If only we could keep that “high” forever. However, somewhere between the buzz of first getting together and peaceful, comfortable, enduring love, many couples go through growing pains. And unfortunately, one of the most common growing pains involves comparing yourself to other couples – people you know, fictional pairs in fairy tales, even past relationships. People begin to wonder: is my relationship romantic enough? Are we doing this whole “romance” thing correctly?
Comparisons typically crop up around a holiday or event. Sure, we're all writing our own stories, but at certain times, chapters overlap. What are you doing for the winter holidays? Aren't you going to make her Valentine's Day the best she's ever had? Did you hear about that over-the-top proposal? That groom-to-be is so lovingly involved in every aspect of his wedding planning! Even if you weren't feeling pressure from friends and family, the world of media will fill in the gap, with commercials and article that imply that you should be doing something differently, better, or more expensively.
Here's a little of my own personal experience: I've known men who were more involved in planning their wedding than the bride. I've known women who would die of embarrassment at some public romantic gesture. I've known people who have fallen more in line with gender stereotypes when it comes to romance, and those who have blown those preconceptions out of the water. And I've known couples for whom the strangest things were utterly romantic – because it fit them.
It's hard to remember, but you are, indeed, writing your own story. In fact, you might be the couple that your friends and family compare their own experiences against. Don't be concerned about whether you're doing things exactly right – do what's right for you and your partner. Insecurity may be a part of growth, but there's no need to linger in this phase any longer than necessary. Remember why you and your partner fit so well together, and don't try to be anything else. In your relationship story, don't be a critic – be a co-author.
Subscribe
