Relationships

A lot of travel stories are about bad in-flight meals, sub-par hostel accommodations, and confusing cultural mix ups. But this travel story is about a couple who joined MissTravel.com, met for the first time in Cabo San Lucas, and fell in love.

Their story was featured on ABC 20/20's "Vacation Confidential" segment, alongside an interview with the site's founder and CEO, Brandon Wade. ABC is the first to document one of "the newest and wackiest vacation trends" via a reality travel dating show that isn't too far off from its travel-and-romance hits "The Bachelor" and "The Bachelorette."

MissTravel.com claims to be the first online dating site to blend travel with romance, by bringing together generous singles looking for travel companions with attractive singles who cannot afford to travel alone. The idea is proving to be a popular one: more than 100,000 members have joined and over 50,000 trips have been planned in the 3 months the site has been live.

MissTravel.com has stirred up its share of controversy with critics who have compared it to a travel escort agency, but Brandon Wade is on the defensive. "Most people are uncomfortable with the idea of taking any kind of risk," he said during his interview with ABC, "so they choose to look at all the things that could go wrong with MissTravel.com, meanwhile ignoring all its potential for greatness."

Sibel and Steven, the couple featured in the segment, are bound to agree. Sibel is a 27-year-old from New York who signed up for MissTravel.com with minimal expectations. Shortly after joining, she received a message for Steven, a 31-year-old financial planner from San Diego who was looking for company on his upcoming trip to Cabo San Lucas, Mexico.

Sibel says she found the idea of joining a man she'd never met on a trip abroad daunting, but decided to give it a go after days of talks on Skype and over the phone. They met for the first time at Villa Marcella, a beachside mansion Steven rented out for a whopping $2500 a night. It was a weekend full of indulgences - dips in the Jacuzzi, fine dining, a private yacht, snorkeling, horseback riding, massages - and when it came to a close, Sibel and Steven kissed each other goodbye and returned to their homes.

A few weeks later, Steve traveled to New York to visit Sibel, and a few weeks after that, she traveled to San Diego to spend a weekend with him. The first success story of MissTravel.com is still being written: Sibel and Steve found what they were looking for on MissTravel.com, and the couple is still dating.

Watching the Olympics is exciting and motivating -after all, who can resist thinking about how much better shape they'll be in if they were to be a little more like these fantastic athletes? Maybe not so toned and chiseled, but there is something inspiring about working towards physical perfection.

But it's not so much about the body as about the mind. Olympic athletes train through dedication, practice, and overcoming their own doubts in order to compete effectively. What can they teach us about dating? A lot, but here are a few basics:

Persistence is key. You'll have good days and bad days no matter what - as well as good and bad dates. The key to success is no matter if you're going through a rough patch, the only way you'll learn, improve your chances, and reach your goals is to keep going. Don't give up just because it gets tough, that's when you have a chance to work even harder to achieve what you want.

Focus on the goal. There are a lot of other people out there, and some seem to get what they want more easily than others. Maybe you feel like all the good guys are taken, or that some women are just lucky. Do you feel jealous and competitive? Instead of focusing on what everyone else seems to have and what you don't have, focus on getting to your own goal. Outline the steps to get there - like signing up for online dating or flirting with that Facebook friend - and start taking them, without worrying about everyone else.

Don't get impatient. Olympic athletes spend years training for a race or a competition that may only last a few seconds. The physical and mental preparation required is the most important part of what they do, no matter how short the race itself is. While it seems unreasonable that you would go out on dozens of dates before meeting someone special, it's really just part of the process to finding someone who's right for you. It prepares you for the right relationship. Have a little patience to get what you really want.

When you fail, you try again. How many Olympic athletes have lost races compared to winning them? While everyone strives for the gold medal, not everyone can win at the same time. If they lose one race, they have a shot to win another, and it's the same with love. Don't give up because you've been hurt by someone or you can't find anyone worth dating right now. When you're feeling down, recognize that you will have more love in your life - as long as you're willing to give it a chance.

It sounds cliché, but sometimes as we struggle and strive for something that seems important to us - when we achieve it, it's not exactly what we thought.

The same goes for relationships. Picture this: you've been dating a really hot, sexy guy for the last two months. When you're with him, things are great, but sometimes he gets flaky and cancels on you at the last minute, or doesn't return your texts. But you forgive him the next time you see him because he makes you swoon. You would give anything to be his girlfriend - to have an official relationship. You think you would be good together.

And then he does exactly what you want - he asks you to be his girlfriend, or to move in together, or take another step towards full-fledged commitment. You're ecstatic, right? Now things will be great between you because he's committed. But then he continues with his same behavior patterns - whether he forgets to call, or he cancels on you at the last minute, or he gets angry and blames you for problems in his life, or he hangs out more with his friends than he does with you.

It's not exactly what you pictured, right?

While I'm not trying to be a downer, I think it's best to go into a relationship with open eyes. Notice the red flags first, especially how he treats you. Is he selfish, or stand-offish, or impulsive? These things can contribute to problems in your relationship, even after it's official.

It's easy to make excuses for your significant other when you want things to work out, like: "He's just busy at work," instead of admitting that he isn't really ready to commit to being in a relationship with someone and all it entails - including being upfront about one another's schedules and making time for each other. Or maybe you find yourself saying: "she needs a lot of down time to herself to recharge," instead of admitting that she's not putting the relationship first and prefers to keep things more casual and distant.

You want your SO to behave differently once you're in a relationship, but that's not realistic. People don't change their behavior without conscious effort on their part - not by you asking them to do something different. And, you have to really want to be in a relationship and understand the implications - that you make time and effort for another person. That it's no longer all about you.

Bottom line: Look for red flags and behavior patterns before jumping into a relationship, and recognize that it's about compromise and communication.

So, you’re an adult now. Maybe you’re happy with your job, or you’ve got more than your share of friends. Maybe the very act of joining an online dating site was a declaration, that you would take charge of your own destiny and not wait for love to come calling. You’re more mature, more confident, more secure than you were back in junior high.

Why, then, do you find old demons rising when you meet someone new or go on dates? Anxiety is rearing its head. Your confidence is faltering. You’re finding yourself asking what the other person thinks before giving your own opinion. You conquered these issues years ago! What is happening?

As adults, we naturally have more control over our day-to-day lives. Maybe it’s that we’ve had the same job for years, or maybe it’s that we’ve lived in the same town, with the same social circle, for decades. Compare that to the life of a teen, where you’re old enough to know you want independence but have virtually no power over your routines, life-altering decisions - practically your life. You’re forced to be in new and different classes every year, and change schools every few years. With the sands constantly shifting beneath them, it’s no wonder teens can be surly and full of angst.

Entering the dating world after a long absence can be stressful, whether it’s the good or bad kind. It’s a change in your routine. You’re meeting new people, having new experiences. If you’re entering into a relationship, you’re having to think of the needs of a new person, while balancing your own independent identity. Yes, it can be thrilling and fun, but with your comfort level challenged, it’s also normal for you to momentarily lose your footing, let insecurity overtake you, and be forced to re-learn a few lessons about yourself.

There’s good news, though: the effect is only temporary. Once you allow yourself to acclimate to the dating pool, as it were, you’ll get used to the new level of challenges and rise to meet it. It might happen so subtly you don’t even notice it. The things about dating that once seemed so daunting will now be the new normal, and not difficult at all.

So as you step foot into the world of dating, don’t panic if you find yourself, well, panicking. Yes, it’s something new. Yes, it can stir up old insecurities. But at the same time, you could meet new friends, new loves. It’s a tradeoff worth making - especially since the negative effects will fade away.

The summer Olympics are finally here and in honor of the worldwide event, eHarmony has put together a few games of its own. To capture the spirit of the 2012 London games, eHarmony surveyed 2,012 men and women to find out exactly what games are being played in American love lives. The results of the Dating Games 2012 can be found in infographic form here, and here's the condensed version:

• Rules are made to be broken, and the 3-Day Rule is now a thing of the past. 71% of men and 73% of women say that waiting three days before returning a phone call or following up after a date is "ridiculous."
• That being said, playing hard to get is still in style, and women aren't the only ones who do it. 41% admit to intentionally being coy to maintain the mystery and up the attraction ante.
• Pickup lines get a bad rap (and yeah...a lot of them are terrible), but 44% of women say they actually like pickup lines. As long as you stay away from the especially bad ones, they might give your love life a surprising boost.
• Remember when looking up your date online was considered taboo? It's now becoming the norm. Nearly half of men and women admit to Googling dates before meeting up for the first time. Performing an amateur background check when meeting someone online isn't a bad idea, but be careful not to go overboard. If you don't save some of the getting-to-know-you process for the actual dates, you won't have anything to talk about!
• These days people text so much that I've started to wonder why mobile phones still make phone calls at all, but apparently I've underestimated daters' love of the phone chat. Over 75% of men and women say they prefer a phone conversation to a text message.
• Speaking of rules that are meant to be broken, The Rules are also meant to be broken. Faking popularity by appearing to be busy when you really aren't is no longer the popular thing to do. 89% of men and 77% of women say they would be happy to go on a same-day, last-minute date if they were available. In other words: no more pretending to have a date when they only date you actually have is with a pint of Ben & Jerry's, your sofa, and the latest episode of The Bachelorette.

Let the (dating) games commence!

To find out more about this popular dating site you can read our eHarmony review.

Rebound love happens all the time, especially if you pay attention to the lives of celebrities. Recently, Johnny Depp broke up with his longtime girlfriend and started dating actress Amber Heard a few weeks later. But he's not the only one.

Break-ups are emotional, and often leave you feeling devastated and lonely. In tough times, it can be easy to reach out to someone new - for sex, companionship, or a number of other reasons. But is this a healthy response?

Rebound relationships are often temporary, and can leave you feeling even worse after they fall apart. Some people then go on to repeat the cycle, avoiding dealing with their own pain in favor of the distraction of a new relationship. The most important question to ask yourself before you enter into a rebound relationship is: what do I really want?

If your answer is that you don't want to be alone or feel lonely, then jumping into a relationship with someone new isn't going to make those feelings go away. If you haven't dealt with your pain, and aren't able to emotionally function on your own without a relationship, then it's not a good idea to mask your pain with a rebound. It's good to know who you are both within and outside a relationship - and after a breakup is usually the best time to discover yourself again. What your interests, feelings, and opinions are now - outside of any relationship.

Some people feel that they want a casual relationship with no strings attached - that they aren't looking for anything serious, so a rebound works well. While this is fine as long as both parties agree, often this is another delaying tactic, and eventually you will have to face your pain and work through what went wrong in your last relationship.

The most important thing to keep in mind after a break-up is: if you spend some time alone to figure out what you really want and what you could do differently, your next relationship will be better. We all need to understand ourselves and our motivations, and sometimes the best way to do this is on our own, apart from a partner, girlfriend, spouse, etc. By asking yourself the tough questions, and figuring out what you could change - whether it's better communication, controlling your anger, or a number of other challenges - you will be on firmer ground with the next person, and you won't repeat the same mistakes with someone else.