Relationships

We've all done a few things in our personal lives that we might regret later. This is especially true at parties where we might be drinking and flirting with that guy or girl we just met, and maybe hooking up.

But when it comes to work parties, there's a special kind of embarrassment that can follow you around if you decide to let your personal inclinations run wild. Your behavior might result in a little office gossip, but it could also affect your chances for a promotion or your career trajectory, especially if there are clients or bosses present who could really make things difficult for you in the long run.

With that in mind, following are a few things you can do to have a good time at your office holiday party, but still keep your reputation in tact.

Don't drink too much. This might seem like a no-brainer, but many people don't realize how much they've been drinking because they get nervous, especially at social functions with work colleagues. So limit yourself even more than you would normally - to only one or two drinks, or don't drink at all. You'd rather be alert if your boss approaches you to talk about things, work-related or not. Also, you can make better decisions about how to behave when your head is clear.

Think about your office environment. Some workplaces are more laid-back than others (like an Internet start-up versus a government office). Just be aware of how you usually interact with your work colleagues, and keep the interaction at a party similar. In other words, don't approach that woman you've never talked to before and start asking her personal questions. And if your office is more formal, then don't assume a party will make everyone less tight-lipped. Just follow typical protocol. Keep it light and respectful.

Rethink using social media. If you want a normal group shot of your co-workers at the party and they agree to it that's fine, but don't take an embarrassing snapshot of a colleague and post it to Twitter or Facebook. This is not funny and makes you look bad.

Don't hook up at the party. If someone sees you making out with Joe from shipping while you're by the punch bowl, it will be the subject of office gossip come the next morning. Keep your attractions to yourself. If you want to go out with a work colleague, do it after you leave the party. (As long as it's not against company policy and it's not your boss!)

Thank your boss and/or the party host. It's good to show your appreciation and good manners. Your boss will remember, so make the rounds and initiate a conversation. Thank him or her for the party.

Have fun!

Think about someone you know in your daily life. Think about how they tend to dress or look. Now go to their page on a social network, and look at the photos they have that represent themselves. Is it a perfect match? Probably not; pictures tend to be taken at special events, like weddings or Halloween parties. Usually there’s some reasonable expectation that photos will be taken, so a little extra care might be taken with the hair and makeup. But what if you planned to meet that person having only seen those photos?

“Well, they might look a little different, but it’s still definitely them,” you might say. But since you already know them, your brain is filling in all the extra details - just like you would for a picture of yourself. Which is why it’s entirely possible to have “deceptive” photos on an online profile, even ones that have been approved by family and friends, with no deception intended. And that’s not even counting those who really actively edit their photos to make themselves more attractive.

So it’s no surprise that people don’t usually look exactly like their pictures. The real issue is: why do we care?

By and large, if someone complains about a date they met through an online dating website, they’ll say something like, “My date didn’t look enough like their picture.” Meanwhile, the complainer spent an extraordinary amount of time themselves, carefully selecting only their best photos, maybe even editing out those dark circles under the eyes. They know what’s entailed in the selection process, but if it turns out their date has angles other than their best one they respond as if they’ve been duped.

Perhaps what we should really do is all but disregard the photos. We already know that no matter how attractive someone is, we can’t accurately gauge chemistry until we’re in person, whether it’s due to matching up that voice with that face or pheromones. Thus, why place more importance on the photo than as a way to identify our date when we see them?

Sure, photos have their place and their uses. Some people do have an instant reaction, whether positive or negative, upon seeing them. Sometimes the photos can tell a story, like the interests of the potential date or the personality, or even that they really are local and not some sort of spam.

But are they necessarily great at giving you the height and weight of your potential date? Or painting an accurate picture of what they look like on a Sunday morning? No really. And maybe we should accept the photos as a mere starting point - a hint at the story instead of a full synopsis. Maybe we’ll wind up a little less cynical and a little more receptive.

"Dating at midlife just ain't what it's cracked up to be."

Ronni Berke, a senior producer at CNN, isn't the first to make that complaint and she certainly won't be the last.

"Try online dating!" well-meaning friends and relatives say. "It's easy, there's no stigma anymore, and you don't have to suffer through the bar scene."

But is it really all it's cracked up to be? After all, Ronni points out, "Most Internet 'first dates' begin at bars. With strange men." And there are countless horror stories about fake profiles, scam artists, misleading photos, awkward encounters, unwanted sexual advances, and simple incompatibility.

Still, whatever the drawbacks may be, it seems everyone knows someone who met their significant other online. So what's all the fuss about?

Ronni took the plunge and tried online dating seven years after her husband died of a brain tumor two years into their marriage. She enlisted the help of her closest friends to write a stand-out profile and choose the perfect picture, and received a flood of responses right away. She also took a chance on speed dating, but found that a 5-minute conversation isn't the strong foundation for a relationship the boomer set is looking for.

After meeting so many men, online and in person, came the hard part: sorting through the suitors to find the princes amongst the frogs.

To help her separate the two, Ronni created her list of "Speed Dating Do's and Don'ts, For Men of a Certain Age:"

• DO dress presentably. That means take a shower, groom with a minimal amount of hair products, and leave the Hawaiian shirt at home.
• DO know how to talk to a woman. You want more to say that a stutter and some awkward mumbling. It's ok to have a line, but make sure it's a good one.
• DON'T leave a woman sitting alone because you're too shy to come over. The point is to meet people...why waste an opportunity?
• DON'T talk about marriage on a five-minute speed date. There's lots of time for that in the future...a first date, especially when it's only a few minutes long, isn't that time.
• DO come up with a reason for why you're in your 50s (or 60s) and haven't met the right person yet. Paint it in the most positive light possible.
• DON'T accidentally take your date's drink to the next table with you. It's just bad form, and it says you weren't paying attention to them.
• DO know your selling points. What makes you a great catch?
• DO act interested in what your date is saying. And if you aren't, be clear and polite about your feelings so you can both move on to more suitable dates.

To find out more about some great speed dating services (both online and off) you should check our Speed Dating category.

So much of how we perceive life is attitude. If we approach a situation with confidence and patience, we’re often more successful. If we come in digging in our heels or sure we’re doomed to failure, it can become a self-fulfilling prophecy. Thus, it probably shouldn’t come as a surprise that online dating is no different.

“Come on now,” you might be saying. “Dating is different in that it takes two to tango. I can’t make myself land dates through sheer force of will, can I?”

Well, perhaps not. But one thing you absolutely can do on your own is self-sabotage. Maybe you can’t conjure a date out of thin air, but you can certainly squander perfectly good opportunities and watch them go up in smoke.

Bad attitudes can come in various forms in the world of online dating, and some of them are less obvious than others. One that’s quite prevalent is the skeptic approach. Imagine a person who goes to a magician’s show and stands, arms folded, waiting to point out the stray wire or cleverly placed mirror. No one else in the audience really thinks the magician is some sort of wizard; they’re willing to suspend disbelief, and enjoy the experience.

These same sour audience members pop up on online dating sites. They’re waiting to see real magic, a perfect match ready and waiting, and if they don’t, they’ll complain about it to everyone they know. Instead, they could be putting in actual effort themselves; by sitting back with their arms folded, they’re getting less out of it than everyone else.

Another is the scaredy-cat. This person has bought into the stereotype that the online dating world is a seedy, scary underground. Rather than simply employ the same good judgment and safety measures they do anywhere else in life, these people view every date as a potential serial killer. They’re so obsessed with scanning for red flags that at the end of the night, they realize they’ve barely heard a word their date was saying. Because they’re incapable of relaxing, they’re wasting everyone’s time.

Another kind of bad attitude could happen to any of us, no matter what our experience with online dating: the unlucky one. Maybe they’ve just gotten out of a bad relationship, or maybe they’ve had a dry spell in online dating. They feel like nothing has gone right for them in the love department in recent memory, so why should this be any different? Instead of being excited about a date or an email, they’re waiting for the other shoe to drop.

So as you sit down to answer emails or even look at profiles, ask yourself: are you in the right mindset to do this right now? If you’re expecting failure, you might overlook someone who might otherwise be a good fit, or answer that email less enthusiastically than usual. Sometimes it’s better to just take a break and come back when your outlook is more refreshed. You might not be able to magically find love with a good attitude - but you certainly have a better shot of seeing the possibilities when you take off your gloom-colored glasses.

The review for David DeAngelo ebook called "Double Your Dating" can now be found in our Dating Books category. This ebook was so popular that the author updated his source material and released a second edition. Double Your Dating is not designed as a quick fix for someone’s dating problems. David DeAngelo approaches are designed for single men who is interested in self-improvement and are looking to empower not just their dating lives but other areas of their life. This ebook is ideal for beginners.

To find out more about this popular dating book for men you can read our new Double Your Dating review now.

Keeping things fresh after years together is a challenge for any couple. How do you keep the spark alive when you're more interested in catching some extra shuteye than spending quality time with your partner?

The answer may be Déjàmor, a new website designed to help couples reconnect through romantic and intimate experiences. The founders of Déjàmor researched books, conducted focus groups, and consulted with therapists, coaches, and sexologists to develop a comprehensive strategy to bring couples closer together.

Each month, Déjàmor delivers a package to subscribers with two boxes inside: one for "his eyes only" and one for "her eyes only." The boxes contain a sensual adventure guide and goodies to enhance the experience that Déjàmor promises are "always sexy and never sleazy."

What exactly is inside the mystery boxes? "Recipes for a happy, fulfilled, and sensual life," says Déjàmor, "complete with ingredients [that] are meant to surprise and delight you and your partner." The exact contents are meant to be a surprise, but the site's testimonials hint at what might be in store for you.

One customer received a package containing rose petals, "arousing" bubble bath, a vial with a blank note, and an illustrated booklet. The booklet laid out a plan for an at-home sensual spa retreat to spoil his wife. Another customer received a sash of lace, blank cards, and list of suggested notes to leave for her lucky husband.

Once they have the ingredients for a special night, it's up to the couples to make it happen. "We thought instead of telling people what to do, it would be delivering a recipe of what to do, plus the ingredients for that recipe," CEO Rodrigo Fuentes told Mashable. "The box arrives every month. Each partner in the relationship knows they are going to receive some fun surprise from their lover."

Déjàmor's monthly packages are completely customizable. New subscribers are asked a series of questions, including their sex, their partner's sex, how long they've been together. All answers are kept confidential and are used to create a personalized Déjàmor experience.

"We are all about rebuilding the bridges of communication, intimacy and romance," Fuentes says. "Once our advisors approve of experiences we go into sources and illustrations to get the experience ready. We ensure our experiences will hit home with people."

With so many people now turning to online dating services to find love, it seems only natural that couples will now use the Internet to keep that love alive.