Looking Past the Photo
- Monday, December 17 2012 @ 10:32 am
- Contributed by: Jet
- Views: 1,103
Think about someone you know in your daily life. Think about how they tend to dress or look. Now go to their page on a social network, and look at the photos they have that represent themselves. Is it a perfect match? Probably not; pictures tend to be taken at special events, like weddings or Halloween parties. Usually there’s some reasonable expectation that photos will be taken, so a little extra care might be taken with the hair and makeup. But what if you planned to meet that person having only seen those photos?
“Well, they might look a little different, but it’s still definitely them,” you might say. But since you already know them, your brain is filling in all the extra details - just like you would for a picture of yourself. Which is why it’s entirely possible to have “deceptive” photos on an online profile, even ones that have been approved by family and friends, with no deception intended. And that’s not even counting those who really actively edit their photos to make themselves more attractive.
So it’s no surprise that people don’t usually look exactly like their pictures. The real issue is: why do we care?
By and large, if someone complains about a date they met through an online dating website, they’ll say something like, “My date didn’t look enough like their picture.” Meanwhile, the complainer spent an extraordinary amount of time themselves, carefully selecting only their best photos, maybe even editing out those dark circles under the eyes. They know what’s entailed in the selection process, but if it turns out their date has angles other than their best one they respond as if they’ve been duped.
Perhaps what we should really do is all but disregard the photos. We already know that no matter how attractive someone is, we can’t accurately gauge chemistry until we’re in person, whether it’s due to matching up that voice with that face or pheromones. Thus, why place more importance on the photo than as a way to identify our date when we see them?
Sure, photos have their place and their uses. Some people do have an instant reaction, whether positive or negative, upon seeing them. Sometimes the photos can tell a story, like the interests of the potential date or the personality, or even that they really are local and not some sort of spam.
But are they necessarily great at giving you the height and weight of your potential date? Or painting an accurate picture of what they look like on a Sunday morning? No really. And maybe we should accept the photos as a mere starting point - a hint at the story instead of a full synopsis. Maybe we’ll wind up a little less cynical and a little more receptive.
“Well, they might look a little different, but it’s still definitely them,” you might say. But since you already know them, your brain is filling in all the extra details - just like you would for a picture of yourself. Which is why it’s entirely possible to have “deceptive” photos on an online profile, even ones that have been approved by family and friends, with no deception intended. And that’s not even counting those who really actively edit their photos to make themselves more attractive.
So it’s no surprise that people don’t usually look exactly like their pictures. The real issue is: why do we care?
By and large, if someone complains about a date they met through an online dating website, they’ll say something like, “My date didn’t look enough like their picture.” Meanwhile, the complainer spent an extraordinary amount of time themselves, carefully selecting only their best photos, maybe even editing out those dark circles under the eyes. They know what’s entailed in the selection process, but if it turns out their date has angles other than their best one they respond as if they’ve been duped.
Perhaps what we should really do is all but disregard the photos. We already know that no matter how attractive someone is, we can’t accurately gauge chemistry until we’re in person, whether it’s due to matching up that voice with that face or pheromones. Thus, why place more importance on the photo than as a way to identify our date when we see them?
Sure, photos have their place and their uses. Some people do have an instant reaction, whether positive or negative, upon seeing them. Sometimes the photos can tell a story, like the interests of the potential date or the personality, or even that they really are local and not some sort of spam.
But are they necessarily great at giving you the height and weight of your potential date? Or painting an accurate picture of what they look like on a Sunday morning? No really. And maybe we should accept the photos as a mere starting point - a hint at the story instead of a full synopsis. Maybe we’ll wind up a little less cynical and a little more receptive.
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