Relationships

Everyone is caught up in the “new year, new you” excitement of January, so now is the perfect time to make positive changes for 2016.

For some people, that means eating healthy and going to the gym. For others, that means spending more time with family, picking up a new hobby, or finally asking for that raise. For you, it means dropping your bad dating habits for a more romance-filled 2016.

As you navigate the dating scene, you're bound to make mistakes along the way. Here are some of the biggest blunders that could be keeping you single:

1. Only looking in one place. If you've refused to try online dating, make 2016 the year you step out of your comfort zone. If you exclusively use online dating, get back to basics and experiment with traditional dating this year.
2. Cutting corners. Some dating services keep profiles minimal in favor of photos (ahem, Tinder), but if you're looking for more than a low-key hookup, the profile is important. Don't leave any sections blank, don't be vague, and don't rely on cliches to describe yourself. The profile is a vital part of finding a like-minded, compatible date.
3. Succumbing to FOMO. Fear Of Missing Out is a real phenomenon, and it's particularly destructive for online daters. With so many possible partners at your finger tips, it's easy to feel like your options are infinite. It's time for a reality check: if you're always waiting for something better to come along, you'll miss the good things right in front of you.
4. Doing too much. Learn to let go. If you don't get a response to your message, don't flood their inbox with 10 more messages (especially if those messages are berating them for not answering the first one). If they're busy but interested, they'll reply when they can. If they're just not into you, move on gracefully with your dignity intact.
5. Doing too little. Underwhelming can be just as damaging as overwhelming. A one-word message is never a good conversation starter. It's 2016, we shouldn't have to keep saying that.
6. Expecting immediate chemistry. There's nothing like that instant spark of attraction. Thanks to Disney movies and romance novels, we've come to expect it. In reality, instant attraction is not a reliable indicator of long-term compatibility (in fact, it can literally mess with your brain chemistry and judgment). Be open to the possibility of chemistry developing over time, or you might miss out on someone amazing.
7. Taking everything personally. It's hard not to take it personally when people are saying yea or nay to your profile, but you'll be a happier dater if you learn to let it go. Everyone isn't your cup of tea, you are not everyone's cup of tea, and that's a good thing. If someone isn't interested in you, all it means is that they're not interested in you. It doesn't mean you're undateable or unlovable. And remember, every “no” gets you closer to the “yes” you're looking for.

What other dating habits do you need to break in 2016?

Looking to get the year started on a more romantic note? Now’s the perfect time to join online dating sites. According to Match.com and other notable online dating sites and apps, the biggest surge of new member signups happen between January 1^st and Valentine’s Day.

So, you have a lot of time to see who’s out there and try a new app.

This year, eHarmony reported a 21% increase in mobile registrations since the holidays began, and dating app Zoosk also expected a 20% jump in users the first two weeks of January. Grindr, a dating app for gay men, typically experiences a 30-50% increase in users over the holidays, and Match expects an increase of 60% in new members before Valentine’s Day. Most dating apps agree that this is the busiest time of year for them.

The desire to sign up for an online dating site now may be for personal reasons. Most people have spent the holidays together with family members, creating a sense of warmth and togetherness that some singles feel might be missing from their lives. For those who spent the holidays alone, this time of year can feel particularly isolating, which can provide inspiration for expanding social networks and dating. There’s also the plethora of Instagram photos of happy couples taking vacations together, not to mention the announcement of engagement or baby news over social media, which can also create the desire for more people to want to meet someone special. And what about New Year’s resolutions to date and meet more people?

It seems there’s something about this time of year that motivates people to try online dating – but perhaps it’s less about emotion and more about having the time off for the holidays. People have the opportunity to look at their personal lives and see what they could be doing when they have free time.

According to news website MarketWatch, there’s evidence that people tend to join online dating sites when they have time off work and want to look forward to something personal. So it makes sense that the biggest online dating membership surge the Sunday after New Year’s Eve, when most people are still enjoying the holiday break but know that work is about to start up again.

Interestingly, this theory holds true outside of the winter holidays. Some dating sites, including Zoosk, also saw a surge in new members during the U.S. government shutdown in 2013, when many people’s jobs were affected and they were prevented from going to work.

Regardless, this is the best time of year to join a dating website or download a dating app. More people are online now than ever, which means more opportunities. For more information on the popular dating services mentioned you can read our Match.com review and our eHarmony review.

Happy dating in 2016!

Have you ever followed up with a date over text, the flirty banter going back and forth for a couple of weeks, when suddenly it tapers off? Or maybe he disappears altogether? Before you wonder what you might have done wrong, or what might have happened, it’s time to set the record straight about texting.

Texting is fun and flirtatious. It is a great, low-maintenance way to keep the fire burning if you and your date had some chemistry together. But many of us feel too comfortable behind the screen – to the point where it actually hinders real relationships, and interferes with our romantic life.

Texting is not a substitute for dating. We need that real in-person connection in order for something to grow. When you text or message someone, sharing flirty banter or even more personal thoughts, it feels like you are growing closer. But texting and messaging don’t help you develop a relationship – they create a false sense of connection. In fact, if texting is your barometer for how well your relationship is going, you’re going to be completely misled.

When someone really wants to pursue a relationship with you, they want to see you in person. They want to set up dates. Flirting over text might be part of the fun, but it is only part of it. If a man you are seeing is only communicating with you over text, no matter how charming he is, he isn’t really interested in pursuing a relationship. If he was, he would be asking you out.

You deserve a real-life relationship.

Consider the last relationship you had that was great over text, but fizzled out quickly. There could be any number of reasons this happened. Texting might be a fun way to pass the time for the object of your affection, or a distraction from thinking about an ex, or even a Plan B in case the other person he’s interested in doesn’t pan out. It can also be a quick ego boost. Whatever the case, it doesn’t make a difference. The fact is, there isn’t a chance for a real relationship to happen if your main interaction is through text.

Instead of relying on your texting chemistry after a good first meeting or date, it’s better to see what happens on a second date, or a third. Don’t just assume that texting will eventually get you to the place you want in a relationship. Let your dates know what you want. Ask him or her out. Don’t accept anything less than real-life interaction – there is no substitute. If someone keeps putting you off, claiming they are busy, or only texts you to hook up at the last-minute, move on. They aren’t the right relationship for you.

If “find love” is one of your resolutions for 2016, you're in luck. Get your best pickup lines ready, because the busiest time of year for online dating is rapidly approaching.

Match.com has revealed the exact day the most users will log on in 2016, and even narrowed the time down to the minute. Using their site traffic data, Match predicts that Sunday, January 3, at 8:52 pm EST is when the most users in all of 2016 will be logging on to the site.

Why is early January peak season for online dating? January 3 follows two major holidays, Christmas and New Year's, when singletons can feel especially lonely. On top of that, the beginning of the year is prime time for New Year's resolutions, which are often made about love and relationships.

Dr. Helen Fisher, biological anthropologist and Chief Scientific Advisor for Match, says there's a biological reason for this behavior. “I think all three brain systems for love become stimulated around this time of year, including sex drive, feeling of attachment and romantic love,” she told Bustle.

She goes on to say that the novelty of the holidays can trigger the dopamine system, which encourages feelings of romance, while the hugging and nostalgia that accompany the season can trigger feelings of attachment. If you're not in a relationship, it can emphasize your singlehood.

“Moreover,” she continues, “the beginning of the new year is a natural time for rejuvenation and renewal; and has been for thousands of years. So we naturally begin to look around for a true love.”

If you can't log on exactly at 8:52 pm EST on January 3, don't stress. Match says that peak season will span the full month of January and then some. The site rountinely experiences a 60 percent leap in new members signing up between December 25 and February 14, so you could have a new special someone just in time for Valentine's Day.

And it's not just sign ups that get a boost during this time of year. The number of messages exchanged also increases with the influx of new numbers. Match says that a whopping 50 million messages are sent during peak season.

In order to secure that V-Day date, users step up their game across the board. Along with sending more messages, members use the new year to rejuvenate their profiles and add new photos. Fifteen million new images are uploaded to Match between Christmas and Valentine's Day.

Is all that effort worth it? Statistics say yes. Match predicts that 1 million people will go on dates as a result of the elevated activity during peak season. Now is the perfect time to freshen up your profile and double down on your dating efforts in 2016. For more information on this dating service, please read our review of Match.com.

Are you looking to overhaul your dating life in 2016? Tired of the Tinder swipes that go nowhere, the endless text messages, the so-so dates that bore you to tears?

There’s no reason to feel powerless in your personal life. While the timing of meeting someone special isn’t under your control, making changes and switching things up is totally within your control. And sometimes, we all need a little push in a different direction to really make things happen.

So for the New Year, following are five dating goals to set – and habits to break to help you find someone special:

Express gratitude. Sometimes, we all need a reset button when it comes to attitude. Many of us get frustrated after a few bad dates, or being single for longer than we’d like, but we shouldn’t. There are so many things to appreciate right now, no matter what you might feel is lacking in your life. Start a gratitude journal if that works for you, but be mindful every day for 30 days of what you love in your life – what you are thankful for. This exercise really works. It can shift your attitude about your life from lacking to fulfilling, which definitely is more attractive to others when you are dating. Plus, you feel more fulfilled and hopeful yourself.

Go out more. Are you glued to your screen, swiping left and right? Maybe it’s time to meet people old-school style – by going out and introducing yourself. Many of us have forgotten how to make conversation, how to meet new people without the help of texting. Now’s the time to practice those skills – so say yes to parties, networking events, and going out with friends of friends.

Curb the texting and messaging. Instead of developing your new relationship over text, hoping it goes somewhere meaningful, try asking someone out IRL instead – sooner rather than later. Many of us get emotionally invested in online communication, developing a fantasy about who the other person is, only to be disappointed when you do finally meet in real life. So next time, ask him out sooner and drop the texting back and forth.

Own what you want. Do you want a long-term, serious relationship? Do you long for something more than a hook-up or a casual arrangement? Then own it. Let your dates know what you do and don’t want. Don’t make assumptions that everyone else is casual and so you must be, too. You have the right to want more. So don’t accept less than what you feel you want.

Commit to online dating. Yes, you should still go out more. But you should also expand your options. If you gave up on online dating, try again. Or pick a new dating app. Let a friend help you with your profile pictures. Do whatever works for you – but try some online dating, and really commit to it. Don’t let a few bad dates get you down. You never know when or how you’ll meet the right one.

eHarmony is offering a 7 day free trial this week to celebrate New Years here in the United States and Canada. It starts Wednesday December 30th, 2015 and ends on Tuesday January 5th, 2016.

It's time for New Years resolutions and for single men and women, finding a compatible partner is usually high on the list. During the Christmas break and right up to Valentines Day is the busiest time for online dating services. With eHarmony's positive reputation of matchmaking it is an extremely popular choice for singles. This is a good for you as it means their are a lot of potential matches using the service now.

With eHarmony's free trial, all members can communicate for free with no credit card required. All you need to do is create an account and fill in the eHarmony questionnaire which asks you about what you like in a person and questions designed to quantify your personality traits. The questionnaire can takes about 30 minutes to complete and once finished you are given your first set of matches which have been selected by eHarmony's matching algorithm. The algorithm is designed to match members together who have the best chance of creating a long-term relationship. You can then review your matches and then start the communication process with the ones you like. eHarmony free trials do not include the secure call feature (a phone service), photos, or skipping straight to email. You will have to purchase a full membership to have access to these features.

For more information about this dating service which specializes in long-term relationships, you can read our eHarmony review.