Relationships

How many times have you been on a date where the person you’re meeting seems angry, frustrated, or negative? And how many times have you been on dates where you felt that way yourself?

We all feel negative from time to time, but it definitely affects your love life if you allow those feelings to take hold and shape your attitude towards dating. This month, dating site Match released a study based on a survey it conducted among one thousand of its users to determine how positive and negative thinking affect the dating experience.

Not surprisingly, especially with this election year, nearly 80% of Match members feel the country has become MORE negative over the last 4 years and more than half of Match members have broken up with someone because they were too negative or pessimistic. The majority of Match members agree, the most attractive attribute of positivity is the fact that it signals a good outlook on life (68%).

Love doesn’t come with a textbook. There are no rubrics or cheat sheets. And it definitely doesn’t look like what you see in the movies.

Modern dating is complex and constantly evolving. Relationships are not easy to build and maintain, but they never were. Love comes in many guises - some readily recognizable, some not.

Forget what you know from Twilight. Unrealistic expectations can kill a relationship before it even starts. The reality? It isn’t always pretty, but it’s all we’ve got. These 4 life lessons may not be easy to learn, but they’re essential to lasting love.

Online dating is the classic double-edge sword. On one hand, it opens up your dating pool exponentially. Potential partners could be anywhere in the world, and you can surf those infinite matches from the comfort of your couch (preferably while wearing PJs and tucking into your favorite comfort food).

Then there’s the other hand. The PJs are on. You’re curled up on the couch. A package of Oreos awaits. You grab your phone, start browsing and BOOM, there it is: one of these 4 abysmal profiles. Swipe left as fast as your fingers will allow.

There’s a lot to love about entrepreneurs. They’re creative. They’re passionate. They’re positive. They’re ambitious. They’re often confident and extroverted. Any one could be the next Elon Musk or Richard Branson.

You wouldn’t mind dating someone with a private island, would you?

Thought not. The problem is, entrepreneurs come with a special set of challenges that can make dating hard - even harder than it is for non-entrepreneurs. Starting a business takes an incredible amount of time, energy, and concentration. Entrepreneurs eat, sleep, and breathe their projects - 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year.

In other words, date an entrepreneur and you’re also dating their business. Even the most dedicated employee will never reach that level of commitment with their work. As a result, dating an entrepreneur can be exciting but frustrating, and being an entrepreneur who’s trying to date can be confusing or discouraging.

There’s a lot of dating advice out there. Maybe you’re overwhelmed with what you should and shouldn’t do when you’re online dating, messaging, or just sorting through your matches, and that’s okay. You learn as you go, one step at a time.

In my experience with dating and giving dating advice, there are a few things that I think are overlooked by the experts. Most advice centers around the practical: what types of photos to use, what messages get the best response, and why you shouldn’t talk about politics on the first date. These are all great tips, but I want to offer a few additional nuggets I’ve learned along the way.

Tinder is like dessert. A little bit is a welcome addition to your life, but too much indulgence - or worse, addiction - isn’t healthy for anyone.

A spokesperson for the company once claimed that the average user spends a whopping 77 minutes a day on the app. Imagine what you could do with that extra hour - hit the gym, read a book, learn a language, cook a meal, work on your side hustle, grab a drink with friends - things that make your life more interesting, thereby making you more attractive and, yes, more dateable.

Spend too much time on Tinder and you risk entering unhealthy obsession territory (and might actually be hurting your chances of finding a date). Not to mention that hours spent swiping doesn’t guarantee you’ll be hit by Cupid’s arrow. What you might be hit with instead is exhaustion.

So what do you do if you need a break from your smartphone? Take a digital detox and remind yourself of what it takes to date IRL. Below, a short refresher course: