Relationships

Summer is officially behind us (except for those of you in the southern hemisphere), which means the start of the holiday season. And while you might be missing those warm nights, there’s a good chance your love life will improve in the new season.

Autumn has been proven to be the season for finding lasting love, whether it’s because people are socializing more, or the rush and romance of the holidays, or the fact that cold nights by the fire inspire romantic notions. To help you get a jump start this season, dating site Match has put together a few statistics about the best ways to find love, based on its annual survey of thousands of people in the US, called Singles in America.

First of all, Match encourages you to give love a real chance, and not to expect instant chemistry to lead to a long-term romance. In fact, Match found that a majority of daters – 59% of men and women – do not expect to feel chemistry until the second date, and 35% reported they have fallen deeply in love with someone they didn’t initially find attractive.

Let’s let this settle a moment: 35% of survey respondents admitted they have fallen in love with someone they weren’t initially attracted to. This goes against many romantic stories we have been told of love at first sight, and it’s also heartening to know that chemistry builds over time.

Here’s some advice Match shared about what works and what doesn’t on a first date, to help you get to the second date where the real magic can happen:

How many times have you been on a date where the person you’re meeting seems angry, frustrated, or negative? And how many times have you been on dates where you felt that way yourself?

We all feel negative from time to time, but it definitely affects your love life if you allow those feelings to take hold and shape your attitude towards dating. This month, dating site Match released a study based on a survey it conducted among one thousand of its users to determine how positive and negative thinking affect the dating experience.

Not surprisingly, especially with this election year, nearly 80% of Match members feel the country has become MORE negative over the last 4 years and more than half of Match members have broken up with someone because they were too negative or pessimistic. The majority of Match members agree, the most attractive attribute of positivity is the fact that it signals a good outlook on life (68%).

Love doesn’t come with a textbook. There are no rubrics or cheat sheets. And it definitely doesn’t look like what you see in the movies.

Modern dating is complex and constantly evolving. Relationships are not easy to build and maintain, but they never were. Love comes in many guises - some readily recognizable, some not.

Forget what you know from Twilight. Unrealistic expectations can kill a relationship before it even starts. The reality? It isn’t always pretty, but it’s all we’ve got. These 4 life lessons may not be easy to learn, but they’re essential to lasting love.

Online dating is the classic double-edge sword. On one hand, it opens up your dating pool exponentially. Potential partners could be anywhere in the world, and you can surf those infinite matches from the comfort of your couch (preferably while wearing PJs and tucking into your favorite comfort food).

Then there’s the other hand. The PJs are on. You’re curled up on the couch. A package of Oreos awaits. You grab your phone, start browsing and BOOM, there it is: one of these 4 abysmal profiles. Swipe left as fast as your fingers will allow.

There’s a lot to love about entrepreneurs. They’re creative. They’re passionate. They’re positive. They’re ambitious. They’re often confident and extroverted. Any one could be the next Elon Musk or Richard Branson.

You wouldn’t mind dating someone with a private island, would you?

Thought not. The problem is, entrepreneurs come with a special set of challenges that can make dating hard - even harder than it is for non-entrepreneurs. Starting a business takes an incredible amount of time, energy, and concentration. Entrepreneurs eat, sleep, and breathe their projects - 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year.

In other words, date an entrepreneur and you’re also dating their business. Even the most dedicated employee will never reach that level of commitment with their work. As a result, dating an entrepreneur can be exciting but frustrating, and being an entrepreneur who’s trying to date can be confusing or discouraging.

There’s a lot of dating advice out there. Maybe you’re overwhelmed with what you should and shouldn’t do when you’re online dating, messaging, or just sorting through your matches, and that’s okay. You learn as you go, one step at a time.

In my experience with dating and giving dating advice, there are a few things that I think are overlooked by the experts. Most advice centers around the practical: what types of photos to use, what messages get the best response, and why you shouldn’t talk about politics on the first date. These are all great tips, but I want to offer a few additional nuggets I’ve learned along the way.