3 Important (and Overlooked) Dating Tips

There’s a lot of dating advice out there. Maybe you’re overwhelmed with what you should and shouldn’t do when you’re online dating, messaging, or just sorting through your matches, and that’s okay. You learn as you go, one step at a time.

In my experience with dating and giving dating advice, there are a few things that I think are overlooked by the experts. Most advice centers around the practical: what types of photos to use, what messages get the best response, and why you shouldn’t talk about politics on the first date. These are all great tips, but I want to offer a few additional nuggets I’ve learned along the way.

Don’t be afraid of rejection.

One valuable lesson every dater should learn is how to deal with rejection. Obviously there’s a lot of bad behavior in dating, too – which means some people handle rejection better than others! But let’s face it – not everyone you meet is going to be a romantic match for you – in fact, the vast majority won’t! So the sooner you accept this fact, the better. Instead of getting upset because someone you found attractive just wasn’t into you, concentrate on who you will meet next. It’s all an opportunity, and rejection provides us with resilience and knowledge to be able to move on until we find that right person.

Be willing to learn and grow.

Contrary to how charming and social you might be, you have to have a student’s mindset when you’re dating – you have to be willing to learn. If you act with arrogance or a bad attitude, it will affect you in the long term and delay your chances of meeting someone great. So think of dating like this: each person brings a new perspective to the table, and can inform your ideas of what kind of person would make a good partner. It’s your job to cultivate your curiosity, so that you can better engage your dates (and also yourself).

It takes practice.

Most people think they know what they’re doing when it comes to meeting people, first dates, and flirting, but many don’t. We’re not all born with a charming gene, able to garner attention just by walking in the room. So we have to practice our social skills – and that means going on more dates. Making conversation. Meeting in real life instead of messaging endlessly until your match disappears. It’s important to practice going on dates to feel more comfortable, regardless of chemistry level and whether or not you’re instantly attracted to your date. Practice builds confidence, so when you do meet someone you click with, you feel more at ease and open to seeing where it goes, which is a definite turn-on.

Happy dating!