Relationships

The Cron.com in Houston, Texas took a look at online dating and how a number of dating sites have experience growth during the past year, as the global economy has shrank. Most of the stats we have heard before in other articles, including some from Match.com (see Review) and eHarmony which both saw memberships increase in the high teens percentage wise when compared to the previous year. New facts we learned, included finding out that OkCupid has seen a 75 percent membership increase since September and that the professional matchmakers at It's Just Lunch have seen a 16 percent growth in the last 6 months.

The Houston Chronicle also included a number of success stories from different couples which lead to marriages. There was testimonials for It's Just Lunch, Together Dating and eHarmony.

Every dating site has its own spin on the dating profile format. In this series, I'll take a look at some of the different profile formats and how you can write your best profile for that particular service. SoulGeek is a dating service that caters to only those who describe themselves as geeky.

The main body of the profile contains two 600 character boxes - one to describe yourself, and a second to describe the geek of your dreams. I like that they keep things short and sweet in the main profile, because it leaves room for the geeking out later:

SoulGeek's profile allows you to really geek out and describe all the things that you obsess over - whether that be Star Wars, RPGs, SCA, programming, whatever you like! There's a tendency to get a little longwinded, but on a site as niche as this one, you're among people who understand, so I say go for it!

The Wall Street Journal in an article called "Marriage-Maker Claims Are Tied in Knots" attempts to find out if some of the statistics are true, in regards to the number of marriages a dating site claims to have generated. eHarmony is targeted because of their claim that 236 members get married everyday (see Story). I believe this works out to 2% of the total number of Americans who got married last year met through the site. Match.com is also mentioned due to stats they released recently (and then pulled) that says 12 couples got married or engaged everyday on their dating site (see Story).

The author, Carl, in a way defends the dating sites published stats when he says that:

One obstacle to further research is that newlyweds are hard for researchers to find. So online-dating companies looking to tout their success as matchmaking yentas have sought novel ways to enumerate marriages.

Less than 2 percent of Americans get married every year. To perform a survey and to get an accurate sample size 1.76 million phone calls would need to be made says Dr. Gonzaga of eHarmony. That would be a costly endeavor, so dating sites are forced to find creative ways to come up with some marriage numbers. The closest thing to an election-quality poll Carl could find was a Pew Internet & American Life Project survey, which in 2005 reported from a poll of 3,215 adults, that 3 million Americans found a long term relationship (not necessarily marriages) through a dating site.

Every dating site has its own spin on the dating profile format. In this series, I'll take a look at some of the different profile formats and how you can write your best profile for that particular service. OkCupid is one of the free dating sites available to singles - absolutely no cost to join or use features. They are famous for their crazy quizzes and the "Friend / Enemy" percentages they use to indicate a match (or lack thereof!).

After filling out your basic stats and such, you are faced with the following sections to complete:

My Self-Summary

this is the quick and dirty version of who you are. OKCupid profiles are notoriously long, so brevity is of the essence here. Imagine yourself as a box of cereal on the supermarket shelf and write those few lines that describe you as succinctly as possible while making you sound tasty and worth eating.

What I'm Doing With My Life

This is your area to write about your school, job, kids. Again, keep it brief but interesting.

I'm Really Good At

This one can be a list of the things you excel at doing or you can write a sentence or two about one thing that you do very well.

The First Thing(s) People Usually Notice About Me

If you don't know the answer to this one, poll your friends. Do you stick out because you're really tall/short? Do you have pink hair? Are your fingernails always painted funky colors? Is your wardrobe stuck in the 1940s?

My Favorite Books, Movies, Music, and Food

You don't have to hit all of these. You can do these in a list or a paragraph, but don't make it an exhaustive list. Think top 2 or 3 of the category, not top 20.

The Six Things I Could Never Do Without

Very straightforward. List your top 6. (If you are a guy seeking a girl, putting "sex" in the list doesn't make you witty.)

I Spend a Lot of Time Thinking About

World Peace? How your cell phone works? Why the cable delivery guy is always late? Keep this answer short and either profound or witty. Bonus points if you can make it profound AND witty.

On A Typical Friday Night, I Am

While this does say "typical," if your typical Friday is lounging on your couch flipping through the channels, you may want to stretch the truth and talk about another activity you do semi-frequently on the weekends.

The Most Private Thing I'm Willing To Admit Here

Don't TMI (too much information). You can mention something weird ("My cat insists on following me into the bathroom, no matter what I plan to do in there.) or funny ("I frequently get 80s cartoon theme songs stuck in my head and have been known to be caught humming Mighty Mouse's song in business meetings."). But don't get too personal. That's for later.

You Should Message Me If

This is your call to action - someone read (or skimmed) your profile all the way down to here. What's the last thing you can say that convinces them to email you? If you just say "if you think I'm interesting and worth getting to know" you'll get a lot fewer responses than if you tied it into your previous profile text and said something like "you've ever been caught humming or whistling an entirely inappropriate song for the given situation." This is your last hurrah - make it count!

OkCupid.com allows you to have lots of pictures. I recommend at least 4, but no more than 6. One picture should be a close-up of your face, one full body shot, and the rest can be of your choosing (group shot, action shot, more close-ups, etc).

Best of luck getting Cupid to shoot you! Next in the series... PlentyofFish profiles!

For more information on the dating site mentioned in this article, read our OKCupid.com review.

Every dating site has its own spin on the dating profile format. In this series, I'll take a look at some of the different profile formats and how you can write your best profile for that particular service. JDate.com, part of the Spark Networks family of dating sites, is focused on matching Jewish (and Jewish-friendly) singles.

JDate's profile is in four tabs: Basics, Lifestyle, Interests, and Relationship.

Basics

Here is where your About me paragraph goes. Only a paragraph (maybe two!) is necessary here to give people a taste of who you are and what you do. The purpose of this section is to intrigue people into contacting you, not to dish your life story. Be fascinating, but brief.

Lifestyle & Interests

No paragraphs to fill out here, just things to select or not select.

Be careful when selecting checkboxes for your personality. Your idea of "stubborn" may be that it takes you a little while to be convinced to eat at a new restaurant. Your potential match may read it as "will challenge me on everything and make my life miserable" because that's what their ex's flavor of "stubborn" happened to be. Tread carefully.

Relationship

There are four optional paragraphs in this section. There are some MAJOR traps in these, so read carefully so you know how to avoid them:

My ideal relationship:

Here's where you describe the style of relationship you want. Think in terms of the kind of activities you'd like to do with your future mate. "I'm looking for a man who likes a long walk after dinner so we can burn off dessert while we chat." or "She's the type of girl who always thinks of the little things that I'd forget - like keeping extra Lactaid pills in her purse so I don't have to skip out on Cold Stone!" Don't mention the scary "m" word - monogamy. Most people agree that it's a good idea, and are kinda put-off by seeing you flat-out request it.

My past relationships:

Don't fill out this question. Seriously, it invites too much negativity. If you really need to fill it out, mention the positive qualities of your past relationships. For example, "Each of my ex's has taught me something interesting. Thanks to Dave, I can follow a football game. Thanks to Daniel, I know how to rollerblade (and love it!). Thanks to Justin, I have an urge to go back to school and get my PhD!"

I'm looking for a:

Here's the section where you can list the qualities of the person you'd like to date. Be specific about character, but leave the details of looks, job, etc out. Focus on the type of person, not the specifics.

My perfect first date:

Up to you here. What I'd suggest is mentioning a place or activity you'd like to try but haven't yet. That gives your potential match a good idea of something to talk to you about in their first email. "This may sound crazy, but I really want to try that new burger place on Long Street. It's not really a fancy first date, but I really love a juicy burger!

Jdate.com allows you to have four pictures. One picture should be a close-up of your face, one full body shot, and two of your choosing (group shot, action shot, another close-up, etc).

Best of luck with your JDating! Next in the series... OkCupid profiles!

For more information on the dating site mentioned in this article, read our JDate.com review.

It seems like we have had an influx of dating TV shows lately. Let's see what America has been watching.

There is the The Newlywed Game which we have blogged a bit about. It is sponsored by the popular dating site eHarmony (see Story). While not a dating show, it does deal with relationships.

One of the more popular dating shows and the number one TV show on Monday nights is, The Bachelorette. It just had the season finale last week where Jillian Harris finally picked her man, Ed Swiderski.

Dating in the Dark is a new show by ABC which has become popular. For each episode, 6 singles spend time in a house where they meet and talk with each other in the dark. No one in the house has any idea on what the other persons physical attributes are. At the end of the show the contestants must pick their match and then each person is unveiled. It is the ultimate experiment in, does looks really matter?

Another new dating show that just started on the Fox Network is called More to Love. It is from the creator of The Bachelor. More to Love works very similar to The Bachelor except, the "real world" guy, gets to pick from a group of women who come in "all shapes and sizes".

Here is a list (in no particular order) by EW.com of more new and old Dating/Relationship shows:

• Change of Heart
• A Shot at Love with Tila Tequila
• Who Wants to Marry a Multi-Millionaire
• Temptation Island
• Flavor of Love
• The Littlest Groom
• Playing It Straight
• Blind Date: Uncensored
• Mr. Personality
• Married By America
• Rock of Love
• Joe Millionaire