Relationships

When someone from an online dating site takes the time to reach out to you, it’s nothing other than flattering. Out of all the people online – they chose you! While some of those people might not be your type, others will pique your interest and have you digging deeper. But are there things you should be looking for in an online dating profile that should give you pause?

We should all learn to trust our guts more. After all – they aren’t called “gut insticts” for nothing. Some people aren’t ready to date and others…well, they’re just not going to be a good fit for you. If you take the time to read just the words that are printed on your screen, people online give you plenty of hints about what they’re really like.

Save yourself the time and trouble and think twice before pursuing the following profiles:

Ah, the world of online dating. So many people, sites and options at your fingertips. But how do you know just what to say in one of those profiles they make you create? I know the prospect of talking about yourself doesn’t come naturally to many, but by following these three simple tips on what to include in your online profile, you can easily create one that is you to a tee. But there’s one thing you should leave out of your profile in every instance. Read on and find out what you’re missing!

Your passions – talk about them. They are the things that make you a better person at the end of every day: your passions. It’s possible that you’re living your passion as a career, but wherever they fit in your life, don’t be afraid to share them with your potential matches. Whether it’s cycling, charity work, cooking or reading about the Tudor period in British history, these passions are often what attracts people to one another (and they can also be great fodder for first date ideas!).

Your sense of humor – laugh a little! Not everyone is a fan of George Carlin’s in-your-face humor. You might be more of a Monty Python type or one who appreciates the dry, deadpan wit of Steven Wright. Whatever you find funny, let your matches know. Laughter is what keeps relationships going through the toughest of times, so give those reading your profile a hint of what they can expect if they’re the one lucky enough to share time with you. Who knows? You might even make someone smile with your profile!

Whenever I talk to people about what I do for a living, they immediately have one of two reactions. The first type of person thinks that being an online dating profile writer and coach is the Coolest Thing Ever (TM). The second type of person bemoans the downfall of society and says that we'd all be better off if people just met and matched the old fashioned way.

This post is for that second group of people, the ones who think that online dating is for losers who can't meet people in real life. People who think that they'd rather wait 10 years to bump into the perfect guy or gal because that's just "how it's supposed to be done." People who are certain their soulmate is destined to find them, eventually.

Meeting people the old-fashioned way usually happens one of three ways:
* Through family, friends or coworkers
* Matchmaking service
* At church or other social circles

But what happens once you've exhausted those options? Do you turn to new-fashioned things like speed dating, social networking, or (gasp) online dating?

Here's a good checklist to see whether it's time to give up your old fashioned dream and embrace the future:
* Have you already met all the people you can through your family, friends, or coworkers?
* Have you already met (and perhaps dated) the people in your church or other social group?
* Are you frustrated because you just haven't met anyone new lately?
* Is your life pretty much work, home, sleep, work, home, sleep?
* Are you wondering just WHO is out there?

If you've answered "YES!" to even one of these questions, you may want to give online dating a shot. DatingSitesReviews has comprehensive reviews of all the online dating sites just to the left in the blue sidebar. Do some research, choose a site, write your profile, and start meeting people. New people, great people, perhaps even the very one person you've been destined to meet all along.

The Federal Reserve Bank of St. Louis found that from December 2007 till June 2009, employment of married people fell 3.1 percentage points, while people who are single, employment fell 4.8 percentage points. By August of this year the jobless rate for singles was 13.5 percent while married people was at 6.3 percent.

Experts explain that there are several factors that support the difference in the unemployment rate. Single people tend to have less work experience and education than married people. These traits are more valued to employers during a recession. Someone who is also married will more likely take a lower paid job to support their family than someone who is single and thinks the job is beneath them. Single men and women are also able to move back to their parents home more easily to save on rent if things become tight due to lack of employment.

Many of my readers and clients ask me, "When's the right time to take things from online to offline?"

It can be difficult to gauge exactly when to pop the question about that first date, so let me start on the far end of the spectrum: Don't wait too long.

What's too long? Too long is the point where you're emailing back and forth on a daily basis, chatting via IMs or text messages. When you get to the point where you are a regular part of each other's lives, you've waited too long. You've fallen into what I call "pixel bondage."

Pixel Bondage
It's a real danger. This is the point where people start to assume they're falling in love with someone they only know online. It's not to say that it CAN'T happen; it's just that it usually doesn't.

I've found that the more you start feeling like you're a couple online, the more awkward the first date goes. After all, you start thinking about all the things you shared with each other online and you assume that you are at a certain level of intimacy. But when you meet in person, there's all the physical chemistry - or lack thereof - to deal with.

What happens when a "couple" who were "bonded" online meet in real life and one party ends up not feeling physical chemistry? Do you "break up"? Do you fake it and hope you can feel the chemistry later? If you engaged in dirty talk online, does that extend to your real life interaction?

It's a mess, and one that's easily avoided. Don't extend online interaction more than a couple weeks before meeting in real life. A first date in the real world helps you assess the level of physical chemistry before you get in too deep. Then, if things don't work out, it's a lot easier to call things off without any hard feelings.

We first learned about the study to find which gender is pickier when it comes to dating in July (see Story). In an article from Live Science we learned a few more details about this speed dating study by Eli Finkel and Paul Eastwick of Northwestern University.

The studies participants were 350 college students who were divided into 15 speed dating events. Each student went on 4 minute speed dates with about 12 singles of the opposite sex. After each mini date, each student would rate:

• How much self confidence they felt.
• Romantic desire for the person on the date.
• The romantic chemistry that the participant felt existed between them.
• Would you like to see this person again?

After the data was compiled from the speed dating events, it was found that the daters who rotated around the room to each participant who was sitting, that they experienced greater romantic desire and chemistry. This means the people who went from person to person were less selective than the person sitting waiting for the next date in the rotation. The study further confirmed that this fact was true for both men and women. Finkel & Eastwick concluded that it was the act of approaching, or being approached by a person, which determined who was more likely to be more selective in determining a partner.

If speed dating is of interest to you, check out our Speed Dating Services category for all dating sites that offer online and off speed dating events near you.