Relationships

The New Year is here, and this means a new chance at love for everyone. You might have made a few mistakes in 2014, but that doesn’t mean you can’t turn things around from this point forward. The beauty of life is that we are always growing and changing – and this means in our love lives, too.

Instead of doing the same old things in your social life, or recycling that old online dating profile, the New Year is a time to toss out the old and start fresh. That said, following are five dating resolutions you can make in the New Year:

Try new places. Dating doesn’t have to be a boring series of drinks and coffee dates. Instead of local watering holes, think of things you like to do on your own and incorporate them into your dating life – like hiking, art classes, sports, or finding treasures to fix up at flea markets. Even if you don’t get along with your date, you won’t feel it’s a waste of time. Plus, it puts you in a good mood – the right frame of mind for dating.

Expand your social circle. I know there are many introverted people out there who hate the idea of going to parties alone or joining an online dating site. But rest assured – most people hate going alone to parties and joining online dating sites. You aren’t alone. The point is, you never know where you’ll meet someone special, so it’s good to expand your opportunities instead of restricting them. Allowing more doors to open in your life is a good thing.

Develop a hobby. Most people are so tied up with work and obligations towards friends and family that they seldom take time just for themselves. But when you pursue something just because you enjoy it – and not because you make a living out of it – it creates more happiness in your life. Pursuing a hobby isn’t an extravagance – it’s a necessary part of life.

Be thankful. This might sound trite, but the act of acknowledging all you have in your life creates more positive energy and a happier you. Practice giving thanks for something every day – even if it’s something seemingly insignificant like a beautiful sunrise or an invigorating run. There is so much beauty in the small moments of life. Embrace them.

Say yes more often. Dating can be an emotional roller coaster, and many people need a break from time to time. There’s nothing wrong with this, but some people choose to stay stuck by admitting that “online dating doesn’t work for me,” or other excuses based on a few dates gone wrong. Instead of dwelling in what hasn’t worked, try to remain open to future possibilities. Say yes to a date you aren’t sure about, respond to more emails and messages. Taking more chances also brings more opportunities. Seize the moment.

Happy New Year!

New Year's Day is about more than nursing a ferocious hangover. For many people, it's also a symbol of new beginnings and a time to make resolutions for the year ahead. And what better way to start than with your love life?

The road to the right relationship isn't always smooth. Frustrations and disappointments are guaranteed, like potholes and traffic jams. But sometimes the road is clear, and if you drive for long enough, eventually you'll reach your destination.

And here's the best part: there are shortcuts. They may not always feel short, but perfect your approach to online dating and you'll give yourself a serious leg up in the race. Here are 4 online dating resolutions you can make this year, to make 2015 the year you win big:

1. Learn to market yourself. Unless you're in the very tip-top tier of the online dating population – and maybe not even then – online dating is, at some level, a competition. The dating pool is vast, which means you need to work hard to differentiate yourself from the other fish in that sea. I'm not saying you should treat online dating as a war, or that you should be calculated in every single thing you do, but you're probably missing opportunities if you haven't learned to market yourself at all. Optimize your profile. It should be one big advertisement for why you're awesome.
2. Make the first move. Yeah, approaching someone (even if it's online) is scary – so what? Everyone – man or woman – will benefit from learning to be the aggressor. If you lack the courage to initiate, you stand to miss out on the best people. When you see someone you're into, make that first move. Don't just hit a “like” button and hope for the best. Your odds of meeting someone incredible are drastically improved when you take charge of your destiny, instead of waiting on fate.
3. Don't blame online dating when things don't work. I wish I could tell you every date would be a grand slam, but the only guarantee of a grand slam is breakfast at Denny's. Bad dates will happen. But bad dates also happen when you meet in person, and either way, you can't let those experiences turn you off. Positive vibes attract positive vibes; negative vibes attract negative vibes (and more bad dates). Keep your optimism up and keep your goals in sight. And speaking of goals...
4. Make them. The best way to avoid disappointing dates – in 2015 and beyond – is to set smart goals and stick to them. If you know that a certain political affiliation is a dealbreaker for you, for example, set it as a goal and don't waver. Dating people who don't meet your most basic criteria is a recipe for disappointment. Just make sure your preferences and the goals you set are reasonable. The goal is to be smart, not to be superficial.

Have an online dating resolution that should be added to the list? Let us know in the comments!

In case you haven't noticed, you are now living in a world where online dating is the norm. Millions upon millions of people use dating services around the world. In America, more than half of people say online dating is a good way to meet people. Estimates calculate that as many as one-third of US marriages now begin online. We're on Tinder on our lunch breaks, on our commutes, while we're on the treadmill...

Welcome to the future.

Technology is increasingly a part of our love lives, but... is it the best way to find romance? Is there any reason left to look for love the old-fashioned way?

Well, according to research from Cornell University and the University of Indianapolis, the personal connection – not your Internet connection – may still be most effective way to meet your match. The universities found that those who met their partners through family, friends, or other members of their community experienced “stronger ties” and the positive reinforcement that comes from dating in a more “socially acceptable” way.

Those who met online, on the other hand, were more self-conscious about their relationships, despite the fact that the stigma around online dating has been on the decline for years. Because they didn't meet through in-person connections, those people lacked the automatic support of friends or family. "Our results suggest that those who meet via weak ties perceive lower levels of support for their unions," reports the abstract.

As much as we like to think of ourselves as independent and unconcerned with the opinions of others, very few of us actually live up to that ideal. It is important to us to feel proud of our relationships and supported by those who matter to us. When those things aren't present, it can have a profound impact on the relationship.

"If you meet where there's a supportive social network, you receive encouragement to continue and deepen the relationship – especially when friends or colleagues say: 'We knew you guys were right for each other,'" Cornell's Sharon Sassler told Mic.com. Without that strong foundation, it becomes easier to question the relationship when it hits a rough patch.

Some dating services, like Hinge, are attempting to bridge the connection between in-person and online. Hinge only connects users who share mutual Facebook friends, decreasing the randomness factor while increasing the important elements of support and social approval. It's still online dating, but with a real-life twist.

It's one part old-fashioned, one part new-fangled, and maybe just the right combination of both to be the way of the future.

The start of a new year is also often a busy time for online dating, as people make new resolutions and vow to try out new experiences. But what if you’ve already got your profile established? Is there a way to take advantage of the surge in traffic?

First, make sure that your profile was updated recently. Even if you’re an old hand at online dating, you don’t want to give the impression that your profile has been sitting around gathering dust. Any tweak will do, but while you’ve got your editing pen out, scan for any outdated information. Are any references to upcoming movies or events outdated? Are you talking about sticky summer nights? You don’t necessarily have to add a new current reference, but you definitely don’t want any old ones lurking about.

The holidays are a prime time to take pictures, and most new profiles will reflect that. As such, if all your pictures are from the beach last summer, they might well stand out as a little odd. If you’ve got an acceptable candid photo from the holiday season, throw it in.

Not only does it say that you’re currently maintaining your profile, it says you aren’t afraid to show what you currently look like. The new year is often a time for resolutions and goals about body image. By including a current picture, you’re saying you’re confident about meeting someone new now, not after you’ve shed some holiday pounds. It’s always sensible to include a current pic anyway, but this time of year adds subtext that can work in your favor.

Don’t be afraid to internalize that subtext, either. It can be exciting and positive to share your excitement for the new year, and your own new goals, but remember that you’re trying to find someone who is compatible with who you are now, not some reinvention. You’re looking for someone with whom to have new experiences and adventures, not someone who will only be interested after them. Take advantage of the fresh profiles in the new year - but don’t lose sight of what you’re looking for.

Well folks, it's that time again. The holidays are here and they brought with them their annual dose of relationship stress and dating anxiety. Emotions always fly high around this time of year, whether you're single, dating but undefined, in a relationship, or recently broken up.

It's easy to crack under all that pressure. What you need is a holiday dating survival guide, so I've put together a few tips to see you through into 2015.

1. Don't be a social media stalker. I know it's tempting to take a little trip down memory lane, but the last thing you need to do is obsess over the past or new photos of your ex getting frisky under the mistletoe. All it will do is set you back in the healing process. Instead of reliving old memories, focus on making new ones.
2. If self-control isn't your strong point, block your ex’s profile. Remove the temptation if the temptation is too great. It's the easiest way to avoid obsessiveness. This includes online dating profiles as well as social media profiles.
3. Don't rush into a rebound relationship. Dating is healthy. But trying for too much too soon never ends well. If you aren't ready to date yet (and deep down, you know the answer), spend time with friends or family, or get some of the alone time you know you need.
4. If you are in a relationship, discuss gift giving ahead of time. This is easily one of the most nerve-wracking parts of the holidays. How much should you spend? Should you get a gift in the first place? Instead of stressing yourself out with trying to guess the right answer, just ask. Together you can make a plan and set a budget.
5. If you're not in a relationship, don't hesitate to date. Fill your social calendar. Your inbox is bound to be full of invitations during this time of year, both professional and personal. Accept as many as ypu possibly can and go with an open mind. You never know who you might meet.

If you're feeling doubtful about dating during the holidays, I have news for you: it's actually the peak season for online daters. More singles sign up for online dating sites between Thanksgiving and Valentine's Day than any other time of the year. Match.com reports they see a jump of about 25-30% in new member sign-ups between Christmas and V-Day.

So what are you waiting for?

Benjamin Franklin famously said that the only certain things are death and taxes. These days, a third inevitability should be added to the list: breakups.

They're an unfortunate fact of life, even now when we're wrapped up in the joy of the holiday season. Perhaps especially during the holiday season, when the pressure's on and stress is running high. Online dating app Clover decided to find out once and for all if the holidays are prime time for breakups, and their answer is...

Yes.

Sigh.

It's a downer, but it does appear December spells doom for a number of relationships. Clover analyzed data from 150,000 of its users, and found that there’s a whopping 300% leap in Clover sign-ups from people who are already in relationships during the month of December. Of those people, most are women – 33% more than men, to be precise. 6% of women who sign up during the holiday season are already attached, compared to 4.5% of men.

What's even more interesting than the gender gap is the correlation Clover discovered with income. A person is 2.5x more likely to seek a new relationship during the holiday season if he/she earns less than $60,000 per year. Clover offers no potential explanation for the phenomenon, but Bustle suggests that it could be because “most people making under $60,000 tend to be younger than those making over $60,000, which means they’re probably less inclined to 'settle down.'”

If you know a breakup is in your immediate future, you have a major decision to make. To breakup pre-holidays or post-holidays, that is the question. If you wait until after the festivities, you risk feeling like you livied a lie, but avoid the serious potential for awkwardness or loneliness. If you end things before the holidays, you won't have a sweetie to spend them with but you'll have the confidence that comes from knowing you faced the decision head-on.

Either way, remember that singlehood – before the holidays, during the holidays, and at any time after – is hardly a terrible fate. In fact, dating isn't always all it's cracked up to be, as these dating disasters will remind you. A read through a few tales of infidelity, ill-timed Facebook updates, and dual identities should be all the proof you need that spending the holidays single isn't so bad.

Besides, then you don't have to share the eggnog.