Relationships

It may be that you or your new partner – or both – have kids. You’ve been dating for awhile and you both feel that you’re not going anywhere. The time has come where you both want to make the kids a part of your relationship, but you really don’t know where to start.

It’s always a sound decision to wait until the two of you are past the initial “nervous” stage. It’s important to become comfortable enough with one another that you understand your partner’s personality and how they will react to the kids. After all, if you don’t take the time to get to now your partner, you’re going to be introducing your kids to someone who may be on their way out as soon as they came. That’s not something you want to expose your kids to since they’re probably still becoming accustomed to the fact that you’re dating.

The decision to bring children into your relationship needs to be mutual. If either you or your partner aren’t quite ready to “meet the kids,” that’s something you have to respect. In a case where one partner asks to wait, have an open and honest conversation so that they can explain their reasons for wanting to wait. Just saying “I’m not ready” won’t give your partner (or you) anything tangible to work with. Once you have that information, you can continue to work together towards the goal of bringing your children into your loving relationship.

The eHarmony Blog wrote a piece about how cooperation in the pursuit of love gives singles an edge in dating. The eHarmony post is based on research published in this month's Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin (PSPB) which we talked about previously in October (see Story).

As mentioned in our previous post the research that the PSPB published shows women groups tend to cooperate to repel unsuitable mates. Whereas men tend to help each other to gain access to desirable women.

eHarmony did add a few interesting points. Apparently if you are a guy, your best wingman probably are a group of women. Information from a woman about a man is usually better received by another woman. What also is true is, if the guy is surrounded by women, this sends a signal to other women who may be interested in the guy that he is accepted and acceptable.

Further reading reveals that all of these strategies are usually used in the presence of friends, instead of family and strangers.

For more information on the popular dating site mentioned in this post, read our review of eHarmony.

Dating can be a fun and intoxicating experience, especially when two people meet and hit it off, right off the bat. One issue you should bear in mind when it's time for the relationship to move to the next level is proper safety and the possibilities of contracting an STD. We've all heard the stories, the facts, and seen the hundreds of commercials on TV but many people still don't take all of this information as seriously as they should.

When meeting the new possible love of your life the last thing anyone ever thinks about is the likeliness of this wonderful person living with a sexually transmitted disease, but statistically speaking it's more of a possibility then you may think. With more than one in five people in the US living with an STD it's a pretty serious social problem and should be treated as such.

Education is the key to keeping yourself protected from becoming one of these statistics. So let's go over some common STDs and their myths, how there transmitted, and simple things you can do to keep yourself safe.

Ever had someone contact you multiple times on an online dating website? That is, multiple times when you hadn’t even responded the first time…

It happens to most of us – some people just don’t know how to take no for an answer. There can be many reasons why someone decides to contact another member again if they don’t initially receive a response. Often times, it is with good intentions, unsure that their email or message was delivered on the first try. Others, they simply can’t believe that you’re not interested. Regardless, here are some tips for contacting people on online dating sites and now to show interest without being a stalker.

Twice Tops

If you reach out to someone once, especially by a message, and they do not reply, you can contact them one more without looking like you are nagging. If the person did not respond to your first message, it’s perfectly OK to send something along that says, “Hi – I dropped you a line last week without a response. I just wanted to say hello once more and see if you’re interested. If you wouldn’t mind sending me a quick note back, that would be great. While I’d love to connect with you, I don’t want to be annoying or bother you. I look forward to hearing from you!”

247 iPhone owners nationwide were surveyed (I know not a very big sample pool) by Retervo to produce a snapshot profile of a typical user. Here are the highlights of what they found out:

Question: What makes a person more attractive, a college degree or cool gadgets?

• According to the survey 75 percent of iPhone owners prefer to date someone with cool gadgets.

Question: Have you texted or emailed someone to break up with them?

Are you creeped out by the idea of posting a dating profile for all to see and then going on dates with total strangers? Is the whole idea just a little too.... technological for you? You're not alone! But on the other hand, maybe you're new to town and don't know anyone. You're not religious, so meeting people through a church or temple is out. You don't dip your pen in company ink, so that cutie in Accounting is off limits. Where are you going to meet other singles if you don't do online dating?

Consider Meetup.com. Their tagline is: Do something • Learn something • Share something • Change something. No matter what type of activities you enjoy, you can bet there's a meetup group somewhere in your area devoted to it.

Do something
Why not join a meetup group of fellow runners and train for a local marathon together? Or maybe a meetup group of Civil War enthusiasts who put on reenactments? What about a meetup of hiking enthusiasts who take on a different mountain every weekend?

Learn something
Always wanted to learn how to knit? Join a knitting circle! (And remember ladies, even if the group lacks single men, it has ladies who KNOW single men!) Want to learn French cooking? Brush up on your German you've neglected since high school?

Share something
Join a local book club to share your experiences reading great literature. Find others who enjoy going to new restaurants and share in some great cuisine together. Join a playgroup for owners of Labrador Retrievers and give your dog a workout while you meet new friends.

Change something
Volunteer to help build or renovate a playground (also check kaboom.org for groups in your area helping local kids play!). Go door to door to encourage voters to support your favorite candidate. Join a group of environmentally-minded singles and adopt a section of highway to clean.

Meetup is a great way to meet new friends with similar interests. Don't by shy about signing up! Most meetups take place in public places, so you can meet your German language meetup at the local coffeeshop and your Labrador Retriever group at the dog park and feel perfectly safe while meeting new friends.

While Meetup does have singles groups, you will find a more relaxed atmosphere, without the pressure of "OMG-THIS-IS-A-DATE!" that we often feel on one-on-one dates. If the group of people mesh with you, you can come to the next meetup, or make plans to see people at other times. If they don't, you don't have to go back. No pressure, no problems.

I found Meetup to be very useful when I moved to take a job in a new city where I knew hardly anyone. I looked up some of my interests, dropped in on a couple meetups, and developed a circle of friends faster than I ever thought was possible. I really recommend meetup.com as an alternative to online dating and a great way to make new friends.

If you would like to meet some new friends, check out our full review of Meetup.com now.