Relationships

Sometimes, you're single and want to find love, but you're on the road between two things. You may think about hanging up our hat and not dating for while, but why put your life on hold, right? Let's look at some examples of reasons why people push the Pause button on their dating life.

Losing Weight
You're thinking, "I'm too fat to date. Nobody will want to date me. I'll lose 20/30/40/50+ pounds first, then I'll get back into the dating scene." Why hold yourself back from emotional connection with other people just because you're not at your physical ideal? Do what you can to look your best in your current condition - get a new haircut, some snappy clothes, whatever you can do to be your best at your current weight.

In your dating profile, you should write about the new lifestyle you've adopted in an attempt to lose weight and become more healthy. Are you doing the Couch to 5k program? Playing Wii Fit and EA Active? Working out with your best friend? Recently switched to a vegetarian diet? Write about your new lifestyle with passion and you'll attract people who live that lifestyle or want to adopt it themselves.

Unemployed
Unemployment is a reality for over 10% of Americans. You may think your dating life is doomed since you're out of work, but it doesn't have to be that way. Fancy dinners may be out of the budget, but there are plenty of inexpensive ways to have a romantic evening out.

In your dating profile, it's best not to mention you're unemployed. Write about the other aspects of your life that are going well. Maybe you've taken up knitting hats and mittens for the kids at the homeless shelter, or you've improved your tennis game. When the question of "what do you do for work?" comes up, be honest about your current situation. It may cost you the date, but in this economic climate, you'll find more sympathetic ears.

Moving to a New City
Congrats, you got a new job! Only problem is that it's in a new city and you're slated to move in two months. While you will be pretty busy packing, saying goodbye to your old friends, getting your utilities and things scheduled to turn off in the old place and on in the new place, etc etc, you don't have to completely put your dating life on hold.

Switch your dating profile over to your new location early. In your profile, mention that you're moving to town in a couple months to start a new job, so you figured you'd start getting to know new friends ahead of time. Folks are pretty open to the idea of showing a newcomer their favorite places in town, so you have a very convenient "problem" that potential romantic partners can "fix" for you.

Being in transition doesn't mean your dating life goes on Pause mode. Be honest about where you are and where you're going and you can continue the search for the best match for you.

It may be that you or your new partner – or both – have kids. You’ve been dating for awhile and you both feel that you’re not going anywhere. The time has come where you both want to make the kids a part of your relationship, but you really don’t know where to start.

It’s always a sound decision to wait until the two of you are past the initial “nervous” stage. It’s important to become comfortable enough with one another that you understand your partner’s personality and how they will react to the kids. After all, if you don’t take the time to get to now your partner, you’re going to be introducing your kids to someone who may be on their way out as soon as they came. That’s not something you want to expose your kids to since they’re probably still becoming accustomed to the fact that you’re dating.

The decision to bring children into your relationship needs to be mutual. If either you or your partner aren’t quite ready to “meet the kids,” that’s something you have to respect. In a case where one partner asks to wait, have an open and honest conversation so that they can explain their reasons for wanting to wait. Just saying “I’m not ready” won’t give your partner (or you) anything tangible to work with. Once you have that information, you can continue to work together towards the goal of bringing your children into your loving relationship.

The eHarmony Blog wrote a piece about how cooperation in the pursuit of love gives singles an edge in dating. The eHarmony post is based on research published in this month's Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin (PSPB) which we talked about previously in October (see Story).

As mentioned in our previous post the research that the PSPB published shows women groups tend to cooperate to repel unsuitable mates. Whereas men tend to help each other to gain access to desirable women.

eHarmony did add a few interesting points. Apparently if you are a guy, your best wingman probably are a group of women. Information from a woman about a man is usually better received by another woman. What also is true is, if the guy is surrounded by women, this sends a signal to other women who may be interested in the guy that he is accepted and acceptable.

Further reading reveals that all of these strategies are usually used in the presence of friends, instead of family and strangers.

For more information on the popular dating site mentioned in this post, read our review of eHarmony.

Dating can be a fun and intoxicating experience, especially when two people meet and hit it off, right off the bat. One issue you should bear in mind when it's time for the relationship to move to the next level is proper safety and the possibilities of contracting an STD. We've all heard the stories, the facts, and seen the hundreds of commercials on TV but many people still don't take all of this information as seriously as they should.

When meeting the new possible love of your life the last thing anyone ever thinks about is the likeliness of this wonderful person living with a sexually transmitted disease, but statistically speaking it's more of a possibility then you may think. With more than one in five people in the US living with an STD it's a pretty serious social problem and should be treated as such.

Education is the key to keeping yourself protected from becoming one of these statistics. So let's go over some common STDs and their myths, how there transmitted, and simple things you can do to keep yourself safe.

Ever had someone contact you multiple times on an online dating website? That is, multiple times when you hadn’t even responded the first time…

It happens to most of us – some people just don’t know how to take no for an answer. There can be many reasons why someone decides to contact another member again if they don’t initially receive a response. Often times, it is with good intentions, unsure that their email or message was delivered on the first try. Others, they simply can’t believe that you’re not interested. Regardless, here are some tips for contacting people on online dating sites and now to show interest without being a stalker.

Twice Tops

If you reach out to someone once, especially by a message, and they do not reply, you can contact them one more without looking like you are nagging. If the person did not respond to your first message, it’s perfectly OK to send something along that says, “Hi – I dropped you a line last week without a response. I just wanted to say hello once more and see if you’re interested. If you wouldn’t mind sending me a quick note back, that would be great. While I’d love to connect with you, I don’t want to be annoying or bother you. I look forward to hearing from you!”

247 iPhone owners nationwide were surveyed (I know not a very big sample pool) by Retervo to produce a snapshot profile of a typical user. Here are the highlights of what they found out:

Question: What makes a person more attractive, a college degree or cool gadgets?

• According to the survey 75 percent of iPhone owners prefer to date someone with cool gadgets.

Question: Have you texted or emailed someone to break up with them?