Relationships

TV's biggest bachelor seems to have become a matchmaker too, according to the latest buzz in Hollywood. Ryan Seacrest, who has launched such successful reality TV shows as "Keeping up with the Kardashians" (and their spin-offs) and "Married to Jonas" under his Ryan Seacrest Productions banner, has announced that he will be producing a dating competition series called "Dream Date" which will air on FOX.

According to Deadline, which first reported the news, the show will revolve around a group of women looking for love as well as a "celebrity element." No information on which celebrities might be involved, in what capacity, or even how many has been revealed.

Nationwide auditions began last spring, calling for women ages 21 and over to apply. Those auditioning were reportedly given surveys with questions that included: "Do you think chivalry is dead? Are you asked or expected to pay half the final bill? Would you like to be wined and dined? Are you ready to have a life-changing dating experience?"

The questions in the survey point to the failings of today's dating culture. It seems producers are looking for women who are disillusioned with dating and romance on some level. (It makes for good TV, too.) With all of the talk about "the end of dating" and "hook-up culture" in The New York Times and other notable publications, many daters are feeling disheartened, and wondering if they will ever find someone, or if they will ever be romanced at all. Perhaps focusing on the problems with dating is a good way to attract not only contestants, but viewers. The challenge for the show becomes: can we deliver a genuinely positive, romantic dating experience?

We don't know for sure. Producers have started shooting but are tight-lipped on the details. According to Deadline they are looking for a mid-season fall premiere but so far no date has been set.

One thing's for sure: The Bachelor and Bachelorette won't be the only popular dating dramas in the media this fall. With the launch of "Dream Date" and the serial blog posts from two co-workers at Forty Days of Dating (which has gained considerable buzz and is in consideration for a TV deal), we will have more interesting dating stories than ever to follow. And perhaps it will help us figure out our own relationship goals, habits, and challenges so that we can improve our love lives.

Or at least we can have fun watching other people's drama.

I will always be the first to say that I have a pretty sweet gig. I get to read, write, and coach people about relationships every single day, which is exactly what I've always wanted to do. The downside is that I'm also bombarded with online dating tips from other experts and coaches every...single...day...which, if I'm being honest, can get a little boring.

Sometimes I like to mix it up a little. Sometimes I like to hear from people who aren't your average 'dating experts' and 'love coaches.' That's where Damona Hoffman and Sarah Monson come in. They may consider themselves dating experts now, but once upon a time they were toiling away in an entirely different career: Hollywood casting director.

One worked on 'some wildly popular prime-time hits' as well as a few 'pilots that never saw the light of day.' The other took what she learned as a casting director about developing a personal brand for actors and transformed it into advice for online daters.

So what did casting teach these ladies about life and love?

Lesson 1: Guys Are Never As Tall As They Say They Are

Ok, so it's not just guys. There's a lot of white lying going on online, and men and women are both at fault. Subtract a few pounds here, add a couple of inches there...what's the harm, right? There are certainly worse lies you could tell, but the truth is that it's always better to avoid the lies in the first place.

Lesson 2: A First Date Is Just Like a Reality Show Audition, Minus the Background Check

No matter what guidelines you sent out, you still might end up with someone totally different from what you expected. Maybe you'll get lucky, and it'll turn out that what you needed wasn't what you thought you were looking for. But maybe you won't. In that case, you could try ducking all the post-date phone calls, but it's better to be an adult about it. Let them down gently, but be honest and clear about your feelings.

Lesson 3: Most People Have No Idea How To Advertise Who They Are Or What They're Looking For

Think of yourself as a product. Online dating is the release of the premium version of the 'You' product after years of beta testing. Identify your strongest assets, then design a marketing plan for your profile that presents those assets to potential dates. Understand your product inside and out, so you know exactly what's going to make a casting director or future date say "Yes! That's the one!"

If you ever want to get a heated argument going, or a million responses with absolutely no consensus, just ask one question: What is the appropriate length of time before a relationship becomes “serious”? So serious that you’re talking a long-term commitment like marriage?

Chances are, you’ll hear everything under the sun. You’ll hear oddly specific but arbitrary amounts of time, like “five months” or “a year and a half.” You’ll hear touching sentiments, like “As soon as you know you can’t live without the other person.” You might hear vaguely gloomy pronouncements like “You can never know, and the odds are stacked against you, so whenever you feel up to making that gamble, I guess.”

Most of all, though, you’ll hear anecdotes. You’ll hear about the couple who got engaged after five weeks and ultimately divorced, and the couple who got married after two weeks and stayed together the rest of their lives. You’ll hear about “love at first sight” and celebrity marriages that crumbled after days. If the person you’re talking to is or was ever in a relationship, you’ll hear the details on that and how that’s shaped their perception of what a lasting relationship requires.

You’ll hear a bunch of noise, but chances are, it won’t be very helpful. Simply put, every person is different, with different strengths and different blind spots. They’re in a relationship with another unique person, who brings their own set of factors. You could even factor in the current circumstances (the reason you hear things like, “The right people, the wrong time”). Thus, every relationship is slightly different from the next.

So, what is the appropriate length of time before you get serious? Perhaps the real answer is a mishmash of everything you’ve heard. There’s certainly no hard-and-fast rule. Maybe you’ll “know when you know,” or maybe you’re the kind of person who just has to make that “gamble.” The one thing you do know is yourself; you know if you’re the kind of person who tends to make impetuous decisions. You know if you’re the sort of person who never feels one hundred percent about a decision until it’s made. You know if this is something typical for you, or wholly different.

And, of course, you know how you feel about your partner, and hopefully you’re communicating with them about this as well. You can’t go by a pre-ordained length of time to know if the two of you are ready for the next step, but you can know if you’re ready to take that “gamble” together. You can survey hundreds of people and just get more noise; ultimately you and your partner are the only two opinions that matter.

Guys, are you looking for a virtual wingman? How about someone who always seems to date the hottest women around? Antonio Sabato Jr.'s new blog may be the answer to getting your love life on track and improving your pick-up skills in the dating department.

Sabato has launched a new dating advice blog for men through the matchmaking site AnastasiaDate.com entitled: Under the Sheets: Tips from A Celebrity Wingman. Utilizing his skills from dating celebrities like Pamela Anderson, Madonna, and Jennifer Love Hewitt, Sabato provides tools, techniques, and tips to finding and wooing the woman of your dreams.

His partnership with AnastasiaDate.com is no doubt influencing his opinions. Instead of advising men on how to pick up women at bars, he's advising how to speak to them online. "Guys today are taking the wrong approach to dating - from how to speak to a woman to where to meet her," he says. "They just don't get it, and somehow they still think that the best way to meet women is in a crowded bar or sweaty dance club. They don't understand that dating has evolved way beyond that these days, especially online where the options are endless, and men truly can find their perfect match."

Sabato's first post shows that he's not just relying on his good looks and six-pack abs, but on his conversational and flirting skills, too. "How to flirt" provides tips on how to strike up a conversation that holds her attention, and I must admit he's spot on in his assessment. He claims that men tend to provide facts about themselves to attract women, whereas women are looking for that emotional connection or spark.

"To women, that fact-based conversation is boring. They've had it a hundred times with a hundred other guys. You, though, are going to be different. Always start a conversation with banter - make it fun," he writes.

He then goes on to provide two examples of conversations - one that will likely go nowhere and another that is more engaging and flirtatious. Of course, it seems like a no-brainer when you look at them both, but how many times have you opted for the "safer" route when engaging with someone new? "Where are you from?" is an easy question to ask because it doesn't require work. But when you're online, you have access to a lot of information because you can read the profile of a potential date. He advises that you show that you have been paying attention and ask questions that relate to her interests like, "what made you take that trip to Fiji a few months ago?" You'll get a lot further.

You can read more of Sabato's dating advice on AnastasiaDate.com.

Are you looking for something a little different when it comes to meeting new people? In New York, there's a new twist on the coffee date that you might want to try.

Instead of asking one of your online matches to meet over a cup of coffee, what if you just cut to the chase and met potential dates directly through your local barista? Nancy Slotnik believes a more personal touch is needed when it comes to meeting potential romantic partners, and so she founded Matchmaker Café in New York.

Single customers are invited to drop by her pop-up café in the Financial District and check in with the barista, who also acts as the matchmaker. If you're interested in meeting people, the barista takes your picture and adds it to her database.

It's not exactly hand-picked matchmaking though. The matches are made with the help of technology, not a yenta. Matchmaker Café provides a database and an app to help you sift through your choices, which isn't such a personal touch. But what else would you do as you drink your coffee before your 9am meeting?

Customers have a number of ways of browsing the database of potential coffee date matches. You can subscribe to Matchmaker Café's online app, which launched last November and offers in-person introductions by a matchmaker. (Information for your dating profile is pulled from your Facebook account.) There are currently about 3,000 members. If you're feeling really motivated, you can also pay $5 for three phone introductions or $10 for ten, until the pop-up café closes on Labour Day.

According to Slotnick, the idea is to connect locals with each other and get them offline and meeting face to face, even if it's just for a brief coffee.

Considering all of the mobile dating apps available to meet people nearby, this is another interesting concept to get singles in the same area, who stop by the same neighborhood cafes and pubs, to meet each other face to face. Not many people know their neighbors as well as they know the people in their Twitter feeds. Maybe pop-up concepts like Matchmaker Café can help to change that.

This isn't Slotnick's first attempt at matchmaking via coffee. In 1996, she founded Drip Café, which let customers sift through binders of dating profiles. If a guest found someone he or she wanted to meet, then for a small fee, the café would help arrange a meeting.

People have mixed reactions to the café, but it is getting a lot of buzz and already has gained a following. Would you visit a pop-up café like this one?

If I had my way, every day would be International Kissing Day.

But seeing as I have not yet used my Pinky and the Brain-like powers to take over the world, we're stuck with International Kissing Day happening only once a year.

To celebrate this year's event, Zoosk surveyed more than 3,500 singles around the U.S. to gather their thoughts on kissing. You may never have been curious about the most memorable kisses in pop culture, the best kissing spots around the country, and the most popular songs to kiss to, but you're about to find out what they are anyway.

The top three songs to kiss to are...

1. 21% of singles say "Could I Have This Kiss Forever" by Whitney Houston & Enrique Iglesias is the best song to kiss to.
2. 17% of singles choose "A Kiss From A Rose" by Seal.
3. 12% of singles choose "Blow Me One Last Kiss" by Pink.

[Ok, I do kinda have a soft spot for that last one, but...really? Have any of those Zooskers actually listened to the song? It's about a breakup. An ugly one. Not exactly the most romantic choice for a makeout soundtrack...]

The most memorable on-screen lip locks of the summer are marginally better chosen:

1. 41% of singles say Tony and Pepper's kiss in "Iron Man 3" was the most memorable of this summer's blockbuster flicks.
2. 23% of singles say Spock and Uhura in "Star Trek Into Darkness."
3. 21% of singles say Alan and Cassie in "The Hangover III" shared this summer's most memorable on-screen kiss.

The places singles most like to get their smooch on are:

1. The beach: 30%.
2. In a car: 23%
3. In front of a roaring fireplace: 15%
4. On a carriage ride in New York's Central Park: 14%

[I have a lot of questions and concerns here, but...I won't go there.]

And finally, Zoosk collected a few random kissing facts (in case the first three weren't random enough already):

1. 73% of singles say they dated someone who was a bad kisser.
2. 77% of singles say they have rubbed noses, Eskimo style, to show affection.
3. 83% of singles prefer to kiss with their eyes closed.
4. 59% of singles say the most memorable kiss in recent political history was President Obama kissing his wife on election night (soundly beating the famous passionate kiss Al Gore gave his wife Tipper at the Democratic National Convention).
5. 71% of Americans say it is more awkward to see world leaders kissing vs. watching a politician kiss his or her spouse.