Relationships

Are you a Republican or Democrat? According to a study by dating website Match, most people looking to date wouldn’t care one way or another, but something has changed in 2016, and people are becoming more polarized and politically active.  

Perhaps it’s the entertainment aspect that Donald Trump has brought to the campaign trail, or the enthusiastic support of Bernie Sanders among young liberal voters, but something has shifted in the collective American psyche---so much so, that it has inspired two new dating apps.

So now the question has become: Are you a fan of Bernie Sanders, or not a fan of Donald Trump? Regardless of how you feel, there are two new dating sites you should know about.

Bernie Singles launched a few months back, when app developers found that there was a real market for young activists looking to meet each other – for friendship or something more. It seemed that many Bernie Sanders fans on Facebook were eager to meet like-minded activists in person, and there was an instant show of support for the dating app.

Bernie Singles definitely embraces the progressive slant of the candidate who first inspired it. When you join, you can register as male, female, genderqueer or transgender - and as straight, gay, lesbian, bisexual, pansexual, queer or asexual. There’s no gender bias, which also seems to be a good selling point.

In fact, so many people downloaded it when it first launched that the site crashed in the first week. Several thousand have joined to date.

Not to ignore the dating app potential with the current political groundswell of young activists, there will soon be an app for those looking to avoid a Trump Presidency. Maple Match, whose tagline is “Make Dating Great Again” – a play on Trump’s campaign slogan of “Make America Great Again” – has been making headlines with the announcement of its product, coming soon to market.  The app promises to find Americans who are looking to flee a potential Trump Presidency some Canadian matches. Even before its launch, 5,000 people have signed up for the site.

As it turns out, Trump isn’t the only reason Americans want to flee the country. According to a recent interview in The Guardian, Joe Goldman, Maple Match’s founder said: "This site shows that a lot of people are frustrated with the current dating options. A lot of Americans really want to meet Canadians. They're looking for something new and something better."

Bernie Singles is coy in its approach, noting on its website: “The one percent aren’t the only ones getting screwed this election season!” 

Either way, politics has entered the mix in online dating. We'll see what happens in 2017.

Some break-ups are worse than others, but all break-ups can take a toll on our mental and emotional state. How many times have you chosen to distract yourself from the pain and sadness you feel? Probably more than you think – sometimes by going out with friends, drinking, or having sex, and other times by throwing yourself into work, a hobby or a new fitness routine.

Now, more and more of us are turning to dating apps to swipe and feel that little “rush” from matching with a new profile or engaging in some flirtatious messaging. And why not? It’s healthy to flirt, to meet new people, right?

Not necessarily. Using dating apps as a distraction – to swipe through endless profiles – can work against you and delay the healing process after a break-up. As a writer for website Bustle described it: “An unexpected match with an attractive guy would briefly pull me out from under the cloud of sadness, and it validated my future dating potential in the most superficial way possible. At the time, I knew that it was wrong for the approval of random strangers to mean more to me than the unconditional support from my friends and family, but I didn't want to stop swiping: the next match could always be better than the last…After the fleeting glow from a witty text exchange faded, the positive feelings about myself did, too.”

Distracting ourselves isn’t always the best thing for getting over a break-up. Healing is a process – it’s good to feel your emotions and come to terms with your broken heart. Healthy transformation comes from this process of sitting with pain so we can let go and move on. Distraction only serves to delay our healing.

Don’t get me wrong – it’s good to throw yourself into something healthy, like joining a new running group or growing that garden you always wanted. But when you try and ignore your feelings, opting for quick fixes like the rush from swiping through a dating app, it can backfire.

The “high” you feel from superficial interaction is fleeting, and can leave you feeling worse than you did before – and more likely to swipe. In fact, swiping can become a validation exercise, rather than a healthy way to meet dates. You don’t want to confuse the app itself with your ability to connect with people.

Our self worth doesn’t come from how many matches or messages we get, or how many opportunities we have to meet new people. We have to feel grounded in ourselves – confident in our abilities, independence, and worthiness – rather than dependent on what others think – especially random strangers over text.

So next time you are tempted to login to Tinder after a break-up because you are in desperate need of distraction or validation, call your friend and go out for dinner instead. You’ll be happier and healthier in the long run.

Christian Café is having 2 sales this month on membership subscriptions. The first one starts May 16th and runs to for a week, and the second one runs during Memorial Day weekend. Both give percentage discounts on subscriptions and are available on the membership upgrade page during the time they are offered.

From Monday May 16th, to Tuesday May 24th, 2016 you will receive 15% off when you purchase a 3 month subscription. This mid-May sale means a 3 month membership will only cost you about $40.

For the Memorial Day Weekend sale which runs from May 27th to May 31st, 2016 you can save up to 25% off any membership. Depending on the membership this means you could see a savings of over $25.

One of the great things about Christian Café is they offer a 10 day free trial to all new visitors. All you need to do is signup for a free membership and fill in your profile, and upload a photo. No credit card is required. With the free trial you have full access to the service including sending and receiving emails and participation in the Christian forum. This allows you to find out more about the members close to you and if online dating is something you want to continue with.

Another perk of an upgraded Christian Café memberships is, it allows you to contact all members, including free ones. Most other dating services require both members to have paid before each can commutate. This is not true with Christian Café, as once the paid member initiate the conversation both members will be able to send and receive emails to each other.

For more information about this Christian dating service, please read our Christian Cafe review.

Senior sex may be the butt of many a movie joke, but there’s nothing funny about it. An eye-opening study by the dating service Elite Singles of 2667 Americans has revealed the sexual behaviors of the elderly - and it turns out their early bedtimes aren’t just about getting more sleep.

The survey found that 91% of over-70s considered sex to be ‘important’ in a relationship, with 33% rating it as ‘very important’. And in contrast to what many believe about gender relations in the younger generations, it’s older women who are more enthusiastic about hitting the sack. Eighty-seven percent of women think the quality of sex improves with age and experience, compared to 77% of men.

In fact, according to the study, seniors over 70 have a higher desire for sex than singles aged 18-30. Celibacy was considered less acceptable for older singles than for younger ones. While 19% of respondents in the 18-30 range said they were ‘happy without sex in a relationship’, just 9% of seniors said the same.

The over-70s were also more accepting of casual sex. Seventy-five percent said there is no need to postpone sex until a solid relationship commitment is made, a sentiment shared by only 56% of younger singles. So not only are senior singles getting it on, they’re getting it on with fewer hang-ups than the supposedly free-spirited Millennials. They’re also enjoying themselves more - 81% said sex, like the proverbial wine, gets better with age.

But it’s not all about sex. Single seniors may have been around the block (more than once), but they haven’t lost faith in love. Even after break-up, separation, and divorce, 97% believe you can fall in love at any age and 62% say cupid’s arrow can strike at first sight. Superficial attraction remains important no matter what decade you’re in, with the face, chest, and hair being voted the top 3 most attractive features in an older person.

Psychologist Salama Marine weighed in on the results of the study. “People tend to feel uncomfortable with the idea of senior sexuality because it has nothing to do with reproduction; senior sex is purely about love and sexual fulfilment,” she said. “But in a society often too associated with youth, we tend to forget that there is no age limit to desire and eroticism. We must recognise that today’s seniors have lived through society's sexual liberalisation and enjoy the same sexual freedom as the rest of us.”

Time to get grandma on Elite Singles and grandpa taking shirtless selfies.

In 2016, there’s no question about YouTube’s place in the world. The streaming site is the go-to destination for music videos, comedy sketches, makeup tutorials, adorable pets, and any other video whim the internet has. But before it was so firmly entrenched in popular culture, YouTube had an entirely different aim: dating.

According to co-founder Steve Chen, who recently spoke at the 2016 South By Southwest conference, YouTube was initially conceived as a way for singles to upload videos of themselves talking about the future partner they hope to meet.

“We always thought there was something with video there, but what would be the actual practical application?” Chen said, according to CNET. “We thought dating would be the obvious choice.” Chen and his co-founders, Chad Hurley and Jawed Karim, launched a site with a simple slogan: Tune In, Hook Up. Five days later, not a single video had been uploaded.

In desperation, the team took matters into their own hands. “Realizing videos of anything would be better than no videos, I populated our new dating site with videos of 747s taking off and landing," Karim told Motherboard. They took out ads on Craigslist in Las Vegas and Los Angeles and offered to pay women $20 to upload videos of themselves to the site. Again, they came up short.

The co-founders made the decision to ditch the dating aspect entirely. Early adopters began using YouTube to share videos of all kinds - pets, vacations, performances, anything. YouTube took on a new meaning, got a physical makeover, and this time, it worked.

Although YouTube’s matchmaking element was a bust, it’s an interesting origin story that has inspired a small amount of superstition in its founders. Chen noted that they registered the domain name YouTube on February 14 - "Just three guys on Valentine's Day that had nothing to do," he said.

Today YouTube is hardly “nothing.” It was acquired by Google for a $1.65 billion in 2006. It has launched the careers of many stars, from Justin Bieber to Swedish gamer PewDiePie. The company is nothing short of an empire.

Chen now has a new project in the works. He was at SxSW with Vijay Karunamurthy, an early engineering manager at YouTube, in support of their new startup, Nom. The service describes itself as “a community for food lovers to create, share and watch their favorite stories in real-time.” The food-focused site, which lets chefs and foodies broadcast live video of their edible adventures, launched in March.

eHarmony.com has a special going on for the next few days. Starting May 12th until May 16th (2016) you can get 6 additional months for free when you purchase a 6 month subscription. This is valid only in the United States.

Instead of free communication weekends this past few months, eHarmony has been offering free subscription extensions when you purchase a subscription (about once a month). No coupon is required and you will see the deal listed when you visit the eHarmony membership upgrade page

To join eHarmony just signup for a free membership which allows you to create your profile and take the personality questionnaire. The whole process takes about 40 minutes to complete with most questions for the questionnaire being multiple choice. Just select the best answer which describes you and once complete eHarmony will take your answers and use their matching algorithm to produce a set of matches everyday for you to checkout. If one or more sparks your interest you can then go ahead and start communicating with them.

For more information about this online dating service, please go ahead and read our eHarmony review.