Divorce isn't an easy thing to go through. It can leave you feeling vulnerable and lonely, especially if you'd been growing apart from your former spouse for a while. It can also make you afraid to move forward in your love life. How do you decide when you're ready to date again, and what will it be like?

There's no doubt it takes time to heal, so if you're recently divorced it's good to give yourself a break and don't jump into a new relationship head-first. Also, if you have children to consider you might want to take things slowly before you introduce someone new into their lives. (And you might also prepare yourself - you'll likely be dating people who have children and busy schedules themselves.)

So how do you go about dating, or deciding whether you're ready for a new relationship? Everyone is different, so it's important to know yourself and what feels right for you. Following are some tips on getting back out there:

Take time to heal. Resist the urge to start dating because you're lonely. Maybe your kids are out of the house and it feels empty, but this isn't a good reason to form a new relationship. It's important to get to know yourself first, outside of who you are as a partner. Try a new hobby or sport that has always interested you. Make new friends who are single. Take baby steps to try and craft a new life for yourself that feels good to you.

Dip your toe in the dating pool first. I have a recently divorced friend who has been married twice and has had several long-term relationships. And after every break-up, he finds a new relationship almost immediately, throwing himself into his lover's life, only to have it end again. Instead of going straight to the next relationship, I think it's important to take a break. Give yourself a chance to grieve your divorce and understand what you really want. Then when you're ready, sign up for an online dating site and start going on dates with more than one person.

Be honest with your dates about where you are. Keep your options open, and let your dates know you're not ready for exclusivity. There's no need to jump into anything. It's important to be alone as well as to be with someone else, so let yourself have that experience.

Date outside your type. I know most of us have a type that we are attracted to - whether it's the dark-haired emotionally unavailable type or the blonde, reserved and non-communicative type. If you find yourself gravitating towards someone who reminds you of your ex, it's probably a good idea to take a step back and evaluate. Don't repeat old patterns. Date someone you would normally not consider, and see how it goes. Now is the time to experiment!

Take it slow. Dating is different for everyone. Don't feel pressured to act or move forward according to some kind of timeline of what "should" happen or what your date wants. Dating isn't a race, it's a process. If you're not ready for a relationship, or to sleep with your date, don't feel that something is wrong. Pay attention to your own timeline and go with what feels right to you.

When we sign up for an online dating site, we’re tasked with the challenge of making ourselves appear unique. Of course, we are unique - every person is. But that doesn’t mean we aren’t very similar to someone else, or even lots of someones.

It makes sense; you grew up with the same pop culture influences as other people in your demographic. Maybe you grew up in the same area as well. You’re going to be inclined to make the same references and jokes and have similar taste in TV and movies. And when it comes to finding a match, that’s an asset - the ability to relate, to draw from common experiences. Still, it can be disconcerting when you want to stand out from the pack.

Remember that online dating isn’t a competition; ultimately you’re looking for someone compatible, not the largest number of responses or emails or first dates. So the other profiles aren’t your “competition” in the strictest sense of the word. Still, you don’t want to be completely generic, or worse, a cliche.

Thus, the key is to peruse the profiles of the “competition” before even settling down to write your own, on the site you choose to utilize. Even if a profile has worked for you in the past, or on another site, you might be shocked to find that your responses to these particular questions, on this particular site, are exactly the same as countless others.

For example, on one popular site, many people cite “air” or “oxygen” as something they “can’t live without.” It’s mildly cute and funny the first time you read it; it might signify a dry sense of humor, a wry way of looking at the world and dating in general. After the tenth time, though, it’s lost its charm. After a few dozen more, it’s essentially a space-waster, doing nothing to set the author apart and potentially making them appear lazy, unoriginal or cliche.

You don’t really have to make your profile unique; in fact, acknowledging you’re not a special snowflake might be healthier and more appealing in the long run. But taking the time to keep yourself from becoming a cliche is something that takes minimal energy and could help you avoid downright negative connotations. What might actually make you stand out from the pack is nothing more - or less - than a little homework.

The scenario: You've been on a fantastic date with someone you find incredibly attractive. You both flirted, kissed, talked with each other all night - you know that there was a spark between you. So, you send him a text telling him what a great time you had, expecting another date to follow. Then there's silence.

After a few hours, then a few days, you start to panic. You wonder if something happened to him, if he got busy with work, or there was a family emergency - because there's no way he wouldn't call to ask you out again! You were both on the date, and there was chemistry between you. So why isn't he calling?

While it may surprise you that you're not hearing back, it's not uncommon. Not every fabulous date leads to another, which can be hurtful and make us cynical about love. But instead of racking your brain trying to make excuses for him or figure out what went wrong, the answer is typically clearer than we think. Following are five reasons he didn't call you:

He's not that interested. Remember the book and movie "He's Just Not that Into You?" Well, it's very true for the most part. Men know what they like, and when they are interested, they pursue. Some dates can be fun, but that doesn't mean he felt the same way you did. There's no shame in that. It's best to stop making assumptions about what should happen next and move on.

He's seeing other people. Some guys have trouble figuring out what they want, so they end up dating several women at once. This isn't a bad thing, after all, you just met. Both of you should be dating a lot of people. Instead of figuring out what his intentions or motivations are, try focusing on your own dating life. Schedule more dates, meet more people. If you reconnect, great - and if not, then you are moving on anyway.

Your expectations didn't match his. Maybe you thought it was an incredible date, and that you deserve a chance at being his girlfriend. Maybe you envisioned your romantic future together - a proposal, or some exotic getaways. Don't place such huge expectations on someone after a first date. Remember, you don't know him yet. You have no idea if he's boyfriend material, or if he wants to be. Even if there's chemistry, take things slowly at the beginning so you can get to know each other. If he drops out of the picture, that's all you need to know about him.

He met someone else. This happens often, especially when you're online dating. It's so easy to meet new people, he could have moved on to the next woman an hour after dropping you off. You don't know what's going on in his life, but if he's not interested enough to call you, then let him go.

He doesn't want a relationship. Some men take a while to get over an ex-girlfriend. He might want to hook up with you, but he doesn't want another relationship, at least for a while. Or perhaps he's focused on work and doesn't want to make time for a relationship. Either way, he's not relationship material.

Try not to take it personally. It's easy to wonder what you did wrong, but most of the time, it's not about you. If a man is interested and ready to pursue a relationship, he will. In the meantime, don't chase the wrong ones.

This conversation was observed recently: a man looked at his phone, then sighed loudly. “I can’t believe I haven’t gotten a response yet,” he complained to his companion. “I texted her ten minutes ago.”

“Maybe she’s in another room and hasn’t read it yet,” offered the companion.

The man scoffed. “What is this, the eighteenth century? But no, she’s read it, the phone tells me that it was seen. The question wasn’t that difficult. I can’t believe she’d just ignore me. She does this all the time, too. In fact, last time -” He cut off in mid-sentence as his phone chimed. “There!” he exclaimed. “She says she was in her car and couldn’t text while driving.” He and his companion were silent. Finally, the man spoke. “At least she had a good reason,” he said.

If you think the man was being bratty and boorish, you’re not alone. However, we’re all guilty of a little of that behavior, especially when it comes to waiting for responses to first-contact emails. When we send off a message - particularly to someone we’re interested in - it’s not uncommon to sit there, drumming our metaphorical (or literal) fingers, hoping we’ll get an answer immediately.

When we don’t get an immediate response, our thoughts would probably be embarrassing if we spoke them aloud. “Why haven’t I heard anything yet? It’s already the evening! Everyone’s off work now!” “It’s been several hours already!” We can get anxious, cranky, even angry before the sun has set. Children are often expected to have more self-control.

When that poor woman texted the man back with a perfectly legitimate excuse, I was actually disappointed - because she didn’t owe the man an explanation. When it comes to social matters, no one should be tied to their phone or email, forced to respond immediately. If the woman was busy knitting, watching a TV show or just didn’t feel like interacting with other humans, those reasons ought to be equally “good.”

So remember that when you’re waiting for a response to a dating query, particularly on sites that let you know if your message has been seen or the person has logged in. We have no idea about the life of the person we’ve contacted; we don’t know their schedule. Maybe they’re tired at the end of the day. Maybe they want to wait until they’re in a good mood before they respond. Maybe they want time to construct just the right response. Whatever the reason, it’s theirs and it’s legitimate; though we may be impatient, we have self-control and can surely wait without a childish meltdown.

We all know that people post older or misleading photos on their online dating profiles from time to time - photos from when they were younger, thinner, or had more hair - just to attract more people. This phenomenon is nothing new, but it's something that frustrates and puts a damper on people's online dating experiences, even though they might not complain to the dating site about it.

But what if a profile is even more deceptive - what if someone has posted a false identity with fake pictures to lure you in? What about extreme cases, like catfishing, where you've been swindled out of some money? Does the dating website have accountability in this situation?

According to a Florida mother and part-time model, Match.com should be held accountable for engaging in 'one of the biggest conspiracies ever executed on the Internet.'

According to a lawsuit Yuliana Avalos filed against the popular dating website, more than 200 bogus Match.com profiles were created using her pictures. She maintains that hundreds, possibly thousands of fake profiles are posted on the site, including those using her pictures, even though she's never signed up for the site.

The lawsuit also claims that "thousands" of others - including celebrities, soldiers and adult actresses, have had their pictures taken from Facebook and other sites and used in creating fake profiles for Match.com. Avalos maintains in the suit that people (mostly in other countries) use the photos and fake profiles to scam people out of money. She says Match.com knows this and looks the other way, because the IP addresses of scammers show that they originate in other countries, even though the Match.com profile claims to be posting from inside the U.S.

Avalos maintains that Match.com could crack down on these fake profiles if they wanted to, simply by using facial recognition software, but they choose not to.

In the suit Avalos asks for $500 million in money damages for the thousands of victims, and another $1 billion in punitive damages.

Although Match.com has been sued over fake profiles before, these suits have been dropped because of the terms of its user agreement. Match.com says it isn't required for them to police the site and so the company isn't responsible for fraudulent information people may post.

The outcome of this lawsuit could change the online dating landscape - especially if companies are required to take action and crack down on those posting bogus information. Online dating could get more expensive for members. It could also bring down membership numbers that are used to boost ratings and attract people to various sites. But then hopefully, it would protect people from being manipulated and cut down on the amount of catfishing taking place in the online community.

We'll see what happens next in Avalos' case.

You might have heard by now that eHarmony has added a new personal service to their dating website membership options called eHarmony+. For a mere $5,000 per year, you can get the added benefit of personalized counseling with a real-life love counselor (who is also a professional therapist).

What prompted this move by eHarmony is another interesting story. According to a recent interview the website conducted with actor/ producer Ben Stiller, his new movie The Secret Life of Walter Mitty may have something to do with it.

Producers worked closely with eHarmony while developing the movie, since the dating service plays a large role in the storyline. One of the characters written into the story is an eHarmony relationship counselor who helps Mitty with his online dating profile. The movie depicts a counselor who seems to be on call around the clock for Mitty (to answer such urgent questions as "should I send her a wink?" in the middle of the night).

Before the movie's release, eHarmony offered only traditional online dating services where people create their own profiles, fill out questionnaires and are matched by computer algorithms as opposed to actual people. But as eHarmony staff worked with producers on the script, they decided to make changes to the actual service, so that it provided customized help like it does in the movie (making it a more accurate depiction).

eHarmony's vice-president of customer experience, Grant Langston, tells The Hollywood Reporter, "As I read the script, I realized it couldn't be accurate because that's not the way we model our service. EHarmony is a self-serve model." So, they decided to make changes in time for the movie's release so that premium members can now receive one-on-one counseling.

Interestingly, this wasn't a paid advertising opportunity for eHarmony. In fact, Langston says on eHarmony's website that they paid no money to be part of the film, that writers included it as part of the script from the beginning. Instead, they were on the receiving end - asked by producers whether the script depicted the service accurately. Because it wasn't a true depiction, instead of changing the script, Langston saw an opportunity to create an eHarmony that was more like the one in the movie, that provided members real human counseling.

"We discussed internally asking them to change the film to suit the real eHarmony user experience - people take the relationship questionnaire, get matches, go through guided communication, etc.," Lagston says on eHarmony's blog. "But where's the drama in that? Would it be interesting to watch Ben Stiller quietly answer questions and communicate with matches? It would not."

Langston says, "I was asked to lead the effort to build this new product and once we started to discuss it, I began to understand Walter's attraction to this version of eHarmony. You're talking to a human being who cares about your success. That's nice. This person is reaching out to you and listening to your feedback. Who wouldn't love that?"

To learn more about this service you can read our eHarmony review.