This Is What Online Daters Really Want

Communication
  • Thursday, January 23 2014 @ 09:25 pm
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  • Views: 2,506

What does Netflix have to do with online dating?

No, it's not the fact that spending a lonely Saturday night solo with your Netflix queue makes you think "I should really give online dating another try."

Actually, that might be true too, but that's not the connection we're talking about here. What we're talking about is algorithms. In the same way that Netflix uses an algorithm to recommend movies a user might like by tracking that user's viewing history, online dating sites use a person's contact history to recommend partners with whom they might be more compatible.

Kang Zhao, assistant professor of management sciences in the Tippie College of Business at the University of Iowa, and doctoral student Xi Wang were part of a team that developed a more successful online dating formula. The team used data provided by a popular online dating service. They examined 475,000 initial contacts involving 47,000 users in two US cities over 196-day period.

Out the 28,000 men and 19,000 women studied, men were far more likely to initiate conversations. Men made 80% of the initial contacts, only 25% of which were actually reciprocated. To improve that rate, the researchers developed a model that recommended more suitable contacts based on two factors:

  • A user's tastes (determined by the types of people the user contacted in the past)
  • Attractiveness/unattractiveness (determined by how many of those contacts were returned and how many were not)

As it turns out, the combination of taste and attractiveness do a far better job of predicting the success of a connection than the self-reported information online daters enter into their profiles. Why is that? Some online daters are deliberately misleading while others, Zhao theorizes, simply might not know themselves well enough to identify their real tastes in a partner.

Zhao says the existing model for online dating algorithms leads to a return rate of about 25%, but claims that his team's model could boost that rate to 44%. According to the researchers, their model performs best for males with athletic body types connecting with females with athletic or fit body types. The model also works well for women who indicate they "want many kids" and for users who upload a large number of photos of themselves.

So it looks like you'll have no trouble finding a date for next Saturday night if you're an exercise enthusiast who looks forward to breeding and can't stop uploading selfies to Instagram.

Tinder 3.0 Adds Friendship to the Mix

Tinder
  • Wednesday, January 22 2014 @ 06:43 am
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  • Views: 1,844

Think Tinder is only about hooking up? Not so much. The app is now venturing outside of being a dating app and into the friend zone.

The latest version of Tinder (on the iPhone) keeps the same basic functionality of choosing each potential date based on a photo and a few bits of information gleaned from Facebook. But this time, you aren't just rating a date, but a potential friend - also with one swipe. Once you and your platonic interest have selected each other as friends, you can add each other to your "friend" list and be able to chat via Tinder. (I'm guessing you can swap notes on people you are hooking up with.)

The list feature in the latest version of the app allows users to customize according to how they want to categorize the people they've approved/ met over Tinder. Maybe according to city where they live, hair color, or height? If you are spending a lot of time meeting people on Tinder, it's a good way to keep everyone straight.

Another addition to 3.0 is the ability to add up to six profile photos, so you don't have to rely on just one to prove how hot you might be. (All photos are visible at the same time, so you don't have to worry about which one potential matches will see first.) Tinder has also improved its algorithms so that you end up with more accurate potential matches.

Founder Sean Rad told website TechCrunch that "eventually, Tinder will create automatic, dynamic lists for users, based on its relevancy algorithm and user preferences, location and interests." In other words, Tinder will notice where you are and who you are interested in (and for what purpose - dating, friendship, work, etc.) and become smarter about sending you matches based on your past swiping preferences.

But the ability to distinguish your Tinder contacts into categories that suit your life - dating, work, or friendship - is a huge breakthrough according to Rad.

"You have certain co-workers, acquaintances, and whatnot, and it would be socially awkward if you added them on Facebook," Rad says in TechCrunch. For instance, if you were to come across a co-worker or colleague on Tinder, you could swipe right and be added to each other's business contact or friends list. It replaces the Facebook dilemna of whether or not to add someone when there isn't much of a personal connection - and perhaps there are some things you post that you don't want them to see. "That's the breakthrough with Tinder," he adds. "That signal has been gone until now."

International Business Times: “Online Dating Sucks 80% Of The Time”

Advice
  • Tuesday, January 21 2014 @ 06:44 am
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  • Views: 1,190

When something's called the International Business Times, you expect serious journalism and hard-hitting reporting. What you don't expect is a headline that reads "Why Online Dating Sucks 80% Of The Time."

To be fair, it's an opinion piece written by Nick Gwiazada, but still...those are some pretty harsh words for a service that's helped a lot of people.

It doesn't get any less harsh as he continues: "On Internet dating sites, everybody is 'unique.' Everybody is well-read, everybody listens to 'cool' indie bands, everybody is intellectual and refined and grown-up and perfect. Everybody online is the same boring person because online dating focuses on intellect and depth."

Um...what online dating sites is he subscribed to? Because I'd like to see this for myself.

Real life dating, on the other hand, is "more about sex appeal" than online dating, according to Gwiazada. Again...what dating sites is this guy using? Last I heard, everyone was complaining that people put too much emphasis on pictures and physical attractiveness on online dating sites. There's no way the pendulum has swung the other way.

That's not to say that Gwiazada doesn't get anything right. There's no doubt that plenty of online daters misrepresent themselves in one way or another, and yes, hiring someone else to manage your profile for you is a real thing. I'll let you decide the morality of that particular approach for yourself.

And then there's this: "Online dating throws a metaphorical wrench into the evolutionary plan of natural selection with regard to mating. It attempts to match people who are not otherwise attracted to one another." No, that's exactly the opposite of what online dating sites and all their fancy algorithms are trying to do. Dating sites spend millions of dollars to improve their ability to judge real compatibility!

Oh, and then there's this: "It puts you in contact with people you would otherwise never be in a situation to meet if not for the Internet." Yeah, Nick, that's precisely why so many people love online dating - it gives them the opportunity to meet awesome people they might never have met otherwise.

Gwiazada should have stopped with his thesis statement (oddly positioned at the end of the article): "The television commercials...say that 1 in 5 marriages are a result of meeting online. But guess what: 4 out of 5 are not. So, online dating sucks 80 percent of the time."

Sounds to me like someone is a little bitter. Take chill pill, kid, and leave online dating to the rest of us who enjoy it.

ChristianMingle Gets The Film Treatment

Christian Mingle
  • Monday, January 20 2014 @ 06:37 am
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  • Views: 1,631

I guess this is how you know you've officially "made it." A film is being made about ChristianMingle.com.

Appropriately named "Christian Mingle," the film is written and directed by Corbin Bernsen and will be produced by his production company, Home Theater Films. The new romantic comedy will partner with the ChristianMingle website itself, which holds the distinction of being the world's largest and fastest-growing Christian community.

The movie tells the story of Gweneth Hayden (played by Lacey Chabert best-known for her role as Gretchen Wieners in "Mean Girls"), a 30-something marketing executive who has a top-notch career, a killer wardrobe, her dream apartment and a fantastic circle of friends. In other words, she believes that the only thing missing from her otherwise-perfect life is a man (played by Jonathan Patrick Moore of "L.A. Complex").

In a moment of desperation, she signs up for ChristianMingle.com to find him. But her Christianity is more than a little rusty, and her attempts at impressing her dream guy end in disaster when he calls her out on her "faux faith." As a result, Gweneth comes to the realization that it's not her lack of a relationship that's keeping her from happiness, but rather her lack faith. She commits to leaving her superficial life behind and renewing her relationship with God. In the end, Gweneth gets what she wanted most: a "life-changing" love.

"'Christian Mingle' is about a young, modern, single woman. She's trying to achieve it all - a successful career, amazing friends and finding Mr. Right," Bernsen said. "She stumbles into the world of online dating looking for an instant 'soul mate solution,' but ultimately ends up taking a personal journey transforming her life."

"Our goal at Home Theater Films is to inspire and entertain our audience," Bernsen continued. "We want to make great movies that everyone can enjoy and elevate them with contemporary, relatable characters that naturally demonstrate their faith in real-world situations."

Other members of the case include Erin Bethea, who notably portrayed female lead Catherine Holt in the film "Fireproof," Stephen Tobolowsky ("Groundhog Day"), and John O'Hurley ("Seinfeld"). Behind the scenes, "Christian Mingle" is written and directed by Bernsen and produced by Chris Aronoff. Matt Swanson and Charlie Schafer serve as Executive Producers. The film will include music from Capitol Christian Distribution, who will also handle the home entertainment distribution.

Production began in Turlock, California, at the end of 2013 and will wrap in Los Angeles with the theatrical release planned for Spring 2014. To find out more about this dating site you can read our Christian Mingle review

15% of Americans Prefer Drinks Over Dinner for a First Date

Statistics
  • Saturday, January 18 2014 @ 10:00 am
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  • Views: 2,072

Americans are gravitating away from meeting for dinner as a first date option, preferring to meet for cocktails instead. Maybe it's the promise of a social lubricant for those who are more reserved or nervous, or it's a more efficient way to get to know someone, or perhaps it's just a more casual approach than taking someone to dinner. Whatever the reason, singles are meeting each other more and more often over a glass of wine or a gin and tonic rather than a bowl of pasta.

A new study by DatingAdvice.com surveyed 1,080 respondents and found that 15% preferred drinks over dinner for a first date. Gay men and women were more than twice as likely as heterosexuals to prefer meeting for cocktails instead of dinner, at 32%.

Interestingly, income plays a role in how people prefer to meet. It seems the more you make, the less invested you want to be in a first date (at least financially). Those earning between $100,000 and $124,999 were 57% more likely than those earning less than $25,000 to choose drinks over dinner.

Divorced men and women were also more likely to choose drinks over dinner, maybe in an effort to keep things more casual at the beginning of a potential relationship. One in four divorcees preferred to meet for drinks rather than dinner, compared to one in ten of singles who had never been married.

DatingAdvice.com expert Gina Stewart attributes the trend of meeting for drinks to the increasing rate at which our work lives tend to spill over into our personal lives.

"The benefits of cocktails on a first date mean social lubrication. Someone can break out of the first date jitters much faster. Drinks don't take as long as dinner, so if the date isn't going well, you're not forced to endure it more than the length of the drink," she said. "Nice cocktails are cheaper than nice dinners, and you have no worries about having embarrassing stuff get on your face or stuck in your teeth."

Race and age both play a factor, too. Both African-Americans and seniors aged 65 and older were half as likely as the general population to prefer meeting for cocktails instead of dinner (both at only 9%). Southerners were less likely to go for drinks on a first date too, with only 13% responding affirmatively.

The study was conducted based on accurately representing the U.S. census data in terms of consideration for age, gender, income, race, sexuality and other factors.

5 Simple First Date Mistakes To Avoid

Dating
  • Friday, January 17 2014 @ 06:45 am
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  • Views: 1,243

There is a process to successful online dating - it takes time. You first create your profile, then search through your matches, and finally email the ones that interest you. After that, you're ready to start making plans to meet some of them in person. When you get to the actual date, you want things to go well - after all, it took effort to get there!

Many people are excited to go on a first date. After all, you're curious. You want to see if there's chemistry, if the conversation flows, if you both laugh -and let's face it, if she looks like her picture. But sometimes you're so busy wondering how the date will go that you don't think about the little things that will ensure its success.

Following are some first date mistakes that many people make, but now that you know, you can avoid! If you're interested, the goal is to get to the second date, right?

You didn't plan ahead. This is such an easy fix. Usually, your date won't care where you meet for a first date, as long as you take charge (especially since you are the one asking her out). Whoever does the asking, does the planning. Even for a coffee date. Check the place out so you know what to expect.

You were late. There's nothing more infuriating than showing up on time to a date and then waiting. And waiting. If you're stuck in traffic or running late, text your date to let her know. But try to allow extra time and get there early. It makes a good impression because it shows you care.

You wore old dirty jeans and a t-shirt. There's nothing wrong with this look if you're at home watching the game, but for a first date? It's not good. Put some effort into your dress - clean clothes only, and preferably a nice shirt or jacket and closed shoes, not flip flops. Think of your date as an important business meeting. You want to impress your clients, so why not impress your date?

You kept looking around the room. Maybe there were plenty of attractive women at the bar that night and you couldn't help yourself. But your date wants to feel she is special, at least for the time you two are on the date. Pay attention and engage with her, and try not to get so distracted.

You let her grab the check. There's nothing wrong with splitting the bill or taking turns paying when you're dating someone, but if this is a first date, pay the bill. It shows you're classy. I understand that many people don't have a lot of money to spend on dates, and that's okay. This is why you are the one planning it - pick a place you can afford, like a coffee shop, r do something free like a walk in the park. Then you know what to expect when the check arrives.

Happy dating!

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